i do.

most of my friends are hot, or talented, or fun, or smart and some are several of these in one.

some are just rich.

some have eclectic wine collections.

some put on dazzling fireworks displays.

some come over to my house only to leave their sweat pants behind in not-so-clever manuevers to come back over to my pad in order to see me again.

not carlisa. carlisa is smarter than that, and cool, and has a dazzling fireworks cadre, and a hot sister, and a hot tub, and a hot company, and shes hot too, which is neither here nor there because she has a hook shot that will shut you down if youre trying to play one-on-one against her in the heat of the val.

her company, pink cookies, kicks ass, just like she does, and she has revamped her site to better represent all that she and her two sexy cohorts churn out in their magical wonderland.

so check it

on the new pink cookies site, you will see new airbrush designs on tshirts that say such saucy things like “fresh baked daily”, short shorts that say “bootyful”, and now she even worked out a deal with a hollywood blvd shoe store and you my friend, you can order those very shoes off the web for up to a 35% discount.

all because you have read the busblog.

just another service that we’re giving mankind.

cuz we love you.

pink cookies

and this blog is really hard to write becuause i cant tell the truth, i dont let myself bitch all the times that i want/need to bitch, and i dont let myself raise my fists in triumph when im stoked.

so lets talk about the first place cubbies.

lets talk about the hotties who came over yesterday.

lets talk about the hottie who spent the night with me and then took me to mcdonalds this morning on sunset and vine and who let me keep my hand on her leg that was all soft and miniskirted.

lets talk about her convertible jaguar and the howard stern on the radio and the news of warren zevons death which we just turned down for a sec cuz everything was going well and there were smiles everyone smiles everywhere.

sometimes it’s hard to write about the happy days and sometimes you just have to try.

one of my old girlfriends tracked me down this weekend and i didnt remember her new last name and weve been out of touch for years and she said that she liked my “work” and that i was a sexy beast and that she had an old journal of mine and i wanted to say keep it so i did. cuz i had a feeling it was her because i dont give old journals to too many people.

this gurl i gave all of my first editions to. all of my poetry books i numbered and i gave her #1 for each of them. and that journal was actually a novel i tried to write in college about the crazy life that we lead there full of sex drugs rock and instead it should have just been about her because it would have been more of all of those.

and it might have gotten finished.

i miss my old pal and i am looking forward to catching up with her.

all i know is that my body is pleased, my tummy is pleased, my heart is happy, my eyes are bright and i even though its monday i am actually looking forward to fighting a little crime today.

how often does that happen.

so this one is for warren zevon who went to the second LA Blogger meeting ever. and i honored him by leaving him alone.

nice job on getting your cd out weeks before you ascended to the Good Place.

give my best to jimi and kurdt and babe ruth.

your pal,

tony

blog critics has covered zevon better than anyone + pablo

 First car: 76 sedan de ville

First date: with mary to a hockey game

First real kiss: angela romano, 6th grade, spin the bottle

First break-up: mary, berkeley pier

First job: mcdonalds, santa monica

First screen name: GauchoTony

First self purchased album: meat loaf, bat out of hell

First funeral: mama dugas

First pet: old english sheepdog named tuffy

First piercing/tattoo: if it wasnt against the bible i would be covered in tattoos and have nipple piercings

First True Love: the cubs

First enemy: destiny

First musician you remember hearing in your house: barry manilow

Lasts.

Last cigarette: college

Last big car ride: when me and karisa went to santa barbara to see beck

Last good cry: golf n stuff in ventura, 1987

Last movie seen: wish you were here, bbc america

Last beverage drank: diet pepsi

Last food consumed: sausage and pepperoni pizza from vitos

Last crush: when my work cafeteria ran out of diet dr. pepper

Last phone call: jeanine

Last time showered: this morning before chris came over

Last shoes worn: reebok sandals

Last cd played: mixed eazy-e cd

Last item bought: lottery ticket

Last annoyance: some guy outside my window and his dumb cigar

Last disappointment: bears giving up 49 points

Last time wanting to die: when the yankees got aaron boone

Last time scolded: the cheif engineer didnt appreciate the fact that i flew chopper one home on friday upside down.

Last shirt worn: hawaiian shirt on friday

Last website visited: never let you down

and im wondering if she ruined her career when she got married a few years ago and the answer is a resounding yes. i guess some people dont mind being known for just one role, just one movie, just one totally classic scene.

i guess some people dont want to learn from other sex symbols in the history of film, and even some current ones like cameron diaz who the week reports broke julia roberts’ record for highest one-year earnings for an actress. apparently in 2001 cameron earned 42.2 million. roberts’s record came the year before when she made 21.1 mill.

is love blind? but of course. does love make one foolish? duh.

but everything makes people foolish.

i won a poll the other day. i dont think many people voted. still, i won. it was for “most favourite blogger.”

after the deal was over the guy said that my reward would be that he would take me off his list of links.

because everywhere he goes he sees everyone linking me.

anti came in second place.

anti kicks my ass sometimes.

sometimes.

anyway, the dude can delink me if he wants. in fact i would prefer it. i dont like it when idiots link to me.

the delinker has all these ideas about bloggers and what they do and why they do it, and why they link people.

let me tell you right now why you should link to me and why you shouldnt.

you should link to me if you like what im doing.

you shouldnt link to me if you dont.

i will never be the most popular blogger on the web. that will always go to the current eventers and the cam girls.

site meter says i get between 750-1000 hits a day. yes thats more than most, but its not even close to some. not even close.

theres ways to get this blog more hits. i could start kissing ass all around the internet. i could write back to people who email me. i could comment in the blogs of others. i could show titties. i could talk politics. i could campaign. i could write about my amazing and talented friends more. i could show you what it is to be a blog whore.

i could lie like drudge. i could get on tv as some sort of dumbass blog expert. i could quit swearing. i could start telling the truth. i could show you pictures of the girls i date. i could make a photo essay a week. i could inherit the earth like the meek.

and shannon elizabeth, if it would pay me between 21.1 and 42.2 million, guess what, i’d do it.

but this isnt my career, this is a science experiment performance art poetry reading

this isnt a lookatme contest.

not this one.

instapundit saw the popularity of drudge and did almost exactly the same except added real commentary and smart commentary and funny commentary and links all over the web instead of just where the puppetmasters told him to go. instead of being a tool, he actually is providing a service.

seems pretty obvious to me that if you want to get hits,

do what those two did

and dont do this.

now, are you ready for some football.

gweilo diaries + steph + anti

we just don’t want a punk ass bitch whose gonna bullshit people about it and say that all of a sudden he’s changed his mind about it because he chose to run republican.

lived here all this time and doesn’t know how cali rolls.

suddenly ashamed even though he claims he hasnt ever given a fuck.

mr universe and when some frat boy throws an egg just took off his jacket. take off the shirt too, action hero, and dare junior to do the same.

remind us who’s the man.

do it before mary carey beats you to it.

problem with our leaders is they’re followers of a mantra of spinelessness. only people who aren’t ashamed of saying what they mean are the warmongers and puff daddy.

i think his music’s for girls but he did make those fools walk to brooklyn to get him some damn cheesecake.

and they did it cuz they have a dream and they’ll bitch to brookyln and back but they’ll do it and arnold doesn’t want to walk to humbolt so fuck. him.

you know who stuck to his guns?

cruz. the new front runner. the one who says he doesn’t agree with the recall on his boss but if youre going to vote for someone else vote for him.

but bigger than that he wont back down for his affiliation of the never-before-until-now controversial nonviolent latino group MEChA. a student organization that state senator tom mcclintock this week compared to the klan. cuz he’s ig’nant and rightfully trailing in the race. like a bitch.

cali doesn’t care if the governor is a stoner or was a stoner or smoked out a few times with cameras rolling after an orgy. it just doesn’t want a blatant liar. cuz if he’s lying about something as small as weed, what else is the son of a nazi lying about?

and say what you want about mary carey

but mary carey aint never lied to me.

🙂

little big mind + pink cookies + science blog

if you ever see me mopey or whiney or bashful or sleepy, remind me who i am and what time it is and what my role is in this divine comedy, its not that of which ive been playing.

i live one of the most blessed lives of anyone. ive waltzed through this slam dance with the greatest of ease. the good lord even found me a way to get a college degree without grades or finals or tests. i have been in the public eye in one manner or another with tremendus approval. i started and ran my own business for years, employed friends, and quit cuz it was too easy and cuz money isnt everything.

this town is warm. its gorgeous. its full of life. and its mine.

every band comes through here, and the best band, the house band, are my friends. how often does that happen. if youre me, always. and the rest of my friends, pretty much all here, all cool, all rocking.

im depressed because the golden snoop deville of love hasnt rolled up next to the subway stop as the virgins dance and the midgets throw confetti and the elephants stand on their hind legs.

yet.

have i lost my fool mind?

meanwhile, in real life, i actually do have a cool job, and i am important to the process, and i am respected, and liked, and the chicks are hot, man. fuck! and being hollywood theres celebs everywhere, and thats sorta a thrill when you least expect it, which i like. and i can wear sneakers and shorts if i wanna.

and then theres all of you. whoever you are. and this, whatever this is. the biggest bonus for me off the internet since napster. like the dude said in american pie, God bless the Internet. ive gotten to work for two awesome startups thanks to the http, and the biggest company in the world. ive gotten to travel, and write and talk and teach people about the coolest newest thing on the journey of mankind.

how can i bitch when a third of this planet has to walk somewhere to get to their water supply and ive got tivo.

yes im old. as fuck. but i look good for my age. and all of my parts work fine.

not everybody has all their parts workin fine. so be thankful if you do, ingrates.

my buddy chris called me yesterday to tell me he had an extra white stripes ticket for me in section a, and still i had the nerve to wake up this morning and decide that i was going to be a grumpy little bitch all day because the playmate the mansion was sending over was running a little late as she was painting her toenails extra special for my black ass. and there i was looking at my tag like a yuppie and tapping my feet.

i shoulda been in that crazy train in disneyland.

so anyways, im sorry for listening to the demons too closely

their song i guess sucked me in

sunday theres football, i know, im a dope

and on encore is lord of the rings

bing + true + katie

the cubs are on a hot streak, its friday, my boss isnt here today, its nice out, football season has begun (pictured), i get to see my truest on sunday, clipper girl’s cousin wants to come over tonight. everything should be awesome right now. i should be feeling like a million. instead i feel about a quarter million.

was late for the subway, hated the people getting out of the elevator. got to the bench, hated the woman with the loud heels clicking her way all the way down to me. hated that she sat next to me. released a little gas. hated that she didnt notice.

got on the subway, hated that it was my happy good morning good morning subway guy who is always peppy and awesome. actually didnt hate him for very long. loved him pretty immediately. transfered trains. didnt hate anyone till i got to the escalator, hated this guy in a pinstripe suit and flip flops. hated him for a good 100 feet then saw this guy run to the elevator. this elevator is like gold to most of the commuters who dont want to take the second escalator. you save maybe 3 seconds if you can get on the elevator and it rises just as you get on. but thats not what ever happens. some ass always comes running just as the doors are closing to squeeeeeeze in and then you have to wait for the doors to decide to close and then you and your twenty newest cramped friends ride the 20 feet up and you dont have to use the terribly frightening escalator.

whatever. i hated everyone. especially those who didnt walk up the escalator but stayed planted on the left and right sides, blocking me, who enjoyed the daily exercise of walking up the escalator. im not really a hater. im a lover. i normally love everyone and everything. but lately ive been in the foulest of moods. i feel like im in purgatory. i dont know if im up or down. black is white. white is black, we’re through the lookingglass people.

i wrote something this week that i thought completely kicked ass and only d-lo said anything nice about it and for that i am in lust with her. good old kristin split from her man and it made me sad. i dont like for nice people to have to end things. still. still. still i hated as i waited for the bus in the heat of the morning of the last days of disco. i have the biggest frowny frown on, i have friends all around me, people are talking nice nice about chopper one and you know one thing that i have a right to be pissed about are the tours. ok, hot chicks in business suits from all over the world come to hollywood to see chopper one. i dont know where these people are from and yet they come. they come here with their bosses, always men, always nodding, always sure that they know what theyre looking at, but they dont know shit. and what bothers me the most is that the guys who give the tours know less and they point at me like im the monkey boy and i am the monkey boy but they dont ever say, hey agent, would you like to say a few words about your vehicle?

ever.

especially when theres a hot babe in a business suit and skirt and a clipboard and visitors pass. what would i tell them?

i would say, what youre seeing here is a miracle. its poetry in motion. its a dream and a fantasy. if youre the wrong person its a nightmare. its the most deadly and illegal weapon that you’ll ever see and when its at its most dangerous you cant even see it. this is chopper one, the penthouse of the tower of babble. able to leap tall mountains with a single thought. able to become invisible with a click. able to make one person or thousands vomitous with two clicks. what youre seeing my friends is the begining and the end, the here and the now, the future and the past, what youre seeing is the baddest ass piece of magic that you probably shouldnt even know about and it can only be flown by one man using esp and that man is me and i want to quit.

maybe thats why they dont let me talk during the damn tour.

tif + coyote + annika + sahalie

and are now a half game out of first place.

blogger just ate my post about la and you know what, thats fine. you should write at least once in the night and what i was writing was so dumb and my favorite town is isla vista anyway.

this is the place though where dreams come true.

tonight let me direct your attention to makeout city who appears to be taking the instapundit head on except instead of focusing on politics and the law, focuses on personal blogs like this one.

where j_e comes up with the time to read all of those blogs and then comment is beyond me.

what i do know is he’s on top of the action and thats why im always very happy when he says something nice about the busblog.

it’ll be interesting to see if makeout city can approach the ridiculously high numbers that instapundit.com gets, but if it worked for one type of reading, i dont see why it wouldnt work for another.

one ten am and my boss isnt coming into work tomorrow.

one twenty five and i just watched the sex pistols on jimmy kimmel.

in a perfect world thered be a sleepy girl whod at this hour would rub her eyes and ask me to go to bed with her.

and id have to type fast

as saturday night live reruns played softly on the giant tv built by hand in japan and right now my true love is with another.

makeout city says that he likes my advice to the kids so heres another one.

when its light, study, when its dark, party.

this answers the questions of “should i wake n bake?”

all depends on what time youre waking up.

if its light, study, when its dark, party.

all your classes are over by 11:30am on tuesdays and thursdays?

study. study hard. the more you want to have lunch with that hot chick or play pinball or anything, read something. and read it right because when it turns night youre going to drink everything in sight.

most of college is spent procrastinating. its spent falling asleep in the library, or going to get frozen yogurt, or talking on the phone, doing everything except studying. and then when people get it together they spend like two hours doing their work super tired and passing out at one thirty.

if you get out of class at 11:30am, take your sandwich to a grassy noll and read till 130pm and youve already beaten everyone in your class. then take a piss. then read till 2:30 and youre the smartest person in the world. then read some more for a different class until 4:30pm and remind yourself that happy hour is coming. then write for a few hours. if you turn on the tv youre an idiot. listen to zepelin floyd and janes addiction.

and after dinner you go show people how its done.

and if youre in islavista heres a bonus tip, bring your own cup and before you leave the house, finish your beer, and turn your cup upside down as you walk down the road.

open container tickets are for frat dudes from uc san diego, not locals.

nate + miss tang + sk smith

why dont you wish the city of angels a happy 222nd