stole a car this afternoon when i shoulda been workin.

human contactit was in the valley. it was hot in the val. dropped the top down. it wasnt a convertable but now it is.

xbi has “lasers”.

drove around listening to r.e.m’s “electrolite” since it was in the car. they had a DAT player cuz this is LA and if youre in the industry you have DAT players.

hadnt hear that one in a while and it was nice on an afternoon of sin playing hookey from work on a spring day where the smog chilled at 10 thousand feet and the traffic on the 101 was minimal.

sped past palm trees and wondered if they liked where they were, watching traffic, witnessing accidents and tragedies. i think about trees alot. especially palm trees.

your first year at the xbi they try to see how far you’ll go, as far as breaking the law. usually that means who will you steal from and how much and how big.

cars are the easiest.

i once stole a man’s pool table from his condo on wilshire. after that they asked me not to steal things any more.

the man was my boss.

now and then people try to call me old because my belly is growing or my bald head blinds them or because i cant run as fast as i once could, and in those times i think of little ways to remind them that i am not only the man, but the best agent in the agency.

so this afternoon i stole a car, turned it into a convertible and drove it from sherman oaks back to our westwood office which is carefully hidden underneath the mormon tabernacle on santa monica.

the car’s owner? the cheif’s wife.

the cd: r.e.m’s “In Time: The Best of REM 1988-2003”.

yes im playing with fire.

yes, i think it’s sad that over the last 15 years this is what r.e.m’s best songs are 1)man on the moon 2) night swimming 3)losing my religion 4) electrolite 5)everybody hurts and 6)what’s the frequency, kenneth?

i thought southern guys were supposed to be more creative than that?

even though he came out, im starting to think stipey is a yankee, cuz shit man, six good songs in 15 years is pure east coast  production. whaddup g?

parked the woman’s beemer on the lawn of the tabernacle broke the cd in four places and placed it carefully on the hood.

simpleton + chokey chicken + kenneth cowan

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