that I don’t have as many hits as I feel I should. I’ll admit it.

I know this blog will never be as popular as Wil Wheaton’s. I was never on Star Trek. Therefore I lose.

I know this blog will never be as popular as the Suicide Girls, even if my titties are as big as some of theirs.

There’s ways that I could get more hits. I know. One way is to just flat out ask people to link to me more, but that’s so pathetic. So desperate. So un-busbloggy.

As you know, one of my favorite blogs is Jeff Jarvis’s BuzzMachine. Jeff gets about ten times the hits that I do.

For some reason I’m not jealous of his hits because when a guy has worked for great newspapers his whole life, and created Entertainment Weekly, then something inside me seems to think that he damn well should be getting ten times more hits than my ass.

But the BuzzMachine taught me a valuable lesson regarding hits+popularity+traffic:

lots of traffic doesnt necessarily mean that you will be getting lots of smart people in your comments.

Read poor Jeff’s comments today for example as he tries to free the blogosphere from it’s addiction of mudslinging. All my man wants to do is have the bloggers and commentors focus on the real issues of the campaigns and his readers couldn’t wait a beat to even let it sink in before they were all, “What about CBS? What about the lying going on!”

It was like Moses coming down from the mountain only to see his people building golden calves.

Let my people rot!

Yes Mr. Jarvis does have some good people who frequent his comments, but certainly not 10 times more than I have.

Do smart people not want to comment on blogs?

Do smart people just have their own blogs?

I try to leave 4-5 comments a day on blogs. How can’t you? I vist maybe 25 blogs a day, leaving comments on a quarter of those seems like a walk in the park.

But am I alone in this practice?

Anyway, looking at Jarvis’s comments today it made me happy that I have what I have, which is a big enough readership that I can do incredibly selfish things like ask for an iPod and three days later get one for free.

And yet the busblog is small enough that the readership are people who actually know a little bit about the history here and the community and the basic idea of what I’m trying to do.

Maybe the million page views that I will end up with this year is enough and I should stop being such a competitive fuck comparing himself to the likes of trekkies and just focus on making a good blog.

Either way, let it be known that I love the readers of this blog and I am very happy that I rarely have to delete any comments, infact the opposite is true, often times I either print the comments that people leave or make a post inspired by them because theyre so good.

mr. blonde + metropolio + demo underground + mass live

I dont blame em. I’d be the shit.

First thing I’d do is make 9/11 a national holiday. It’s a no-brainer.

Never has there been a holiday that everyone in the country could agree on. A holiday where everyone’s lives were affected. A holiday that nobody would forget the date.

A holiday that actually mattered.

Tomorrow I will sit in front of my tv and watch every 9/11 documentary that comes across my big screen. I will remember, I will speculate, I will dive into the heart of darkness, I will cry my eyes out.

To me, that’s what a holiday is supposed to be about.

What happened on 9/11 was important to the United States in that we realized that we are no longer isolated from that sort of madness of the world.

There was a time that we could hide out here in North America in our ignorant bliss. We could sit back and ignore the suicide/homicide bombers in the middle east.

Little did we know that they could come to the land of the free and fuck our shit up.

How naive we were.

Tomorrow’s should-be holiday would be a great time to think about how much of our innocence was lost with our ignorance. Do we live in fear now? No. Should we? Hell no.

How can we make it so that the terrorists stop winning?

They have won, of course. We know this because we see the RNC convention in NY and not Texas or DC, but in the city that Osama hit. We know they won because we haven’t gotten our vengence out on Osama.

We know that they are winning when we it takes us two hours to board a plane to fly for one hour, or when we can no longer bring day packs into baseball games, or when we look at the record-breaking deficit that we now find ourselves in.

Admiting that the enemy is winning isnt admitting defeat, it’s merely facing facts. The terrorists will not win forever. At some point someone will stand up and know how to fight these guys and/or negotiate to a point with them.

I might be as naive as we were pre-9/11, but I do not buy the exact same crap that I was fed as a lad that these terrorists are the same as the commies of the cold war in that they hate us because of our freedom and our mcdonalds and our heathen Christian way of life.

I do get it that some people hate us because of what we represent, but it still doesn’t make sense to me that someone would kamikazee themselves into a building filled with innocent people to damage an image.

There’s a lot to think about tomorrow.

As there will be every 9/11.

As President I would hope that each 9/11 we would mourn our lost innocence/ignorance and try to develop relationships that would foster peace.

Sorry that it would be a holiday so close to Labor Day, but I think this nation would understand.

Why the caps? Cuz Bennett says he wont sling mud if I capitalize + SK Smith + green catfish

<3_Karisa_<3: yo! <3_Karisa_<3: how are you today, mr. pierce?! mr_dumbassss: eh mr_dumbassss: i want to write but i have nothing to write about <3_Karisa_<3: you can write about how i was in vegas w/my bro and his friends and i had to go to the bathroom really bad. <3_Karisa_<3: we all just drank like 5 beers in 2 minutes. <3_Karisa_<3: so we went down this wierd hallway to use the restroom and the women's room was being cleaned. <3_Karisa_<3: so no one was in the men's room, so i just went in w/all them. <3_Karisa_<3: in a stall. <3_Karisa_<3: then some man busted in and said "you can't bring a whore in here- you will get arrested". mr_dumbassss: ooooooooooooooh <3_Karisa_<3: and they told him to get the hell out of there. <3_Karisa_<3: then my bro went to his store (some wicked lame clothing store) and said "call my sister a whore again and i'll fucking kill you" <3_Karisa_<3: can you believe that? mr_dumbassss: well mr_dumbassss: were you dressed particularily whore-like? <3_Karisa_<3: no! <3_Karisa_<3: i was wearing flip flops! <3_Karisa_<3: it was right after i got there. <3_Karisa_<3: i wasn't in 'vegas attire' mr_dumbassss: ahahaha <3_Karisa_<3: maybe my boobs were slightly hanging out.... but.... mr_dumbassss: were you giving head for $5? <3_Karisa_<3: phmmmph. i think i would charge more than that! <3_Karisa_<3: haha- <3_Karisa_<3: tony! mr_dumbassss: do you follow the pats closely or what? <3_Karisa_<3: close enough. <3_Karisa_<3: btw, my red sox are only 2 games behind. mr_dumbassss: btw i am quite aware of that <3_Karisa_<3: :-) mr_dumbassss: im ignoring baseball right now mr_dumbassss: it depresses me <3_Karisa_<3: it is so exciting! <3_Karisa_<3: red sox are going to defeat the yankees. mr_dumbassss: god willing mr_dumbassss: who is the coach of the pats? <3_Karisa_<3: bill bellicheck mr_dumbassss: why is that fairy tom brady so good? <3_Karisa_<3: b/c he is so hot. mr_dumbassss: is he married? <3_Karisa_<3: no. mr_dumbassss: if he was in that vegas mens room would you still be a virgin? <3_Karisa_<3: haha- only b/c i love my bf and am waiting until we are married ;-) <3_Karisa_<3: did you know he was an 'organizational studies' major? <3_Karisa_<3: wtf is that? mr_dumbassss: football degree <3_Karisa_<3: that is a tenth deduction. <3_Karisa_<3: i've decided to rank everything/everyone like in the olympics. <3_Karisa_<3: they get a start value. <3_Karisa_<3: then they get bonus points & deductions. <3_Karisa_<3: like at dinner the other night. <3_Karisa_<3: 20% tip to start. <3_Karisa_<3: 1 pt deduction for saying she will get me a new beer and then totally forgetting. <3_Karisa_<3: she ended up with an 18.5% mr_dumbassss: after two superbowls i cant imagine a girl like you giving your boy brady anything other than a perfect 10 <3_Karisa_<3: he gets a 10... he had a bonus start value ;-) <3_Karisa_<3: for being super-hot mr_dumbassss: do girls really check out dudes asses or is that bogus <3_Karisa_<3: in football or in general? mr_dumbassss: either <3_Karisa_<3: we do it as a joke really. <3_Karisa_<3: we don't really care. <3_Karisa_<3: now if you turn the boy around... we might sneak seriously glance on that side! mr_dumbassss: as if that would give a girl any clue mr_dumbassss: will the pats repeat as superbowl champs? <3_Karisa_<3: well... we have practically the same team. <3_Karisa_<3: so why not? <3_Karisa_<3: i want them to win, and it would be great. i don't want to be selfish though. <3_Karisa_<3: i want the sox to win more! <3_Karisa_<3: are you still going to come over this evening? mr_dumbassss: no <3_Karisa_<3: you bum! mr_dumbassss: what will be the score tonight? <3_Karisa_<3: patriots: 34 <3_Karisa_<3: 4 touchdown passes from brady <3_Karisa_<3: 2 field goals mr_dumbassss: and indianapolis? <3_Karisa_<3: i will give the colts 24.... <3_Karisa_<3: as a gift. <3_Karisa_<3: so 'no ride' is no excuse. mr_dumbassss: i do need to go home to get my special nfl kickoff rum mr_dumbassss: if i take the subway to hollywood and vine, can i call you to pick me up there? <3_Karisa_<3: yes. absolutely. mr_dumbassss: awesome mr_dumbassss: will you let me bbq for you? <3_Karisa_<3: you must! <3_Karisa_<3: i have burgers and hot dogs. <3_Karisa_<3: we can grill by the pool at halftime. <3_Karisa_<3: bring your swimsuit in case! mr_dumbassss: yeah right brett lamb‘s blog has been invaded by phil collins + kate sullivan + flagrant mentioned my name

up on my blog i will.

especially as a tribute to raymi, who we celebrate today.

the fellas asked me to repost this last week and i never got around to it, so here it is.

theres three kinds of ass out there. and the third doesnt exist.

theres the easy ass. the kind thats always there for you. the kind that poses and whispers and locks onto you and doesnt let you leave the house without a million kisses and wishes.

easy ass gets boring to most, but the wise man learns to appreciate it and not get bored. boring people get bored – especially of easy ass.

billy joel had some easy ass for awhile and divorced it.

kobe cheated on his easy ass.

hef dances with his.

then theres the perfect ass. this is the type that doesnt exist. perfect ass wants you when you want it. perfect ass comes right before you do. sometimes right when you do. perfect ass doesnt bother you when youre crawling under the beach house while youre laying wire on your day off cuz your sick, perfect ass doesnt put you fourth on its list of things to do, perfect ass will make you cry but only out of joy.

there is no such thing as perfect ass.

if you think youve found it, you should marry it, or bottle it, or shake your head because your probably dreaming.

the closest thing youve probably gotten to perfect ass is your hand.

thats not a bad thing.

then theres normal ass.

normal ass is a pain in the ass, but c’est la vie.

you have to work to get normal ass, you have to work with normal ass’s schedule, you have to marinate it, romance it, wine it and dine it.

you have to tell it that it looks good even when it doesnt look so good.

normal ass looks at you like youre normal ass and gets fed up with you just as much as you get fed up with it.

normal ass is forgetful, lies, cheats, fucks up, isnt perfect, isnt always sweet, doesnt always want it, will talk shit about you to the world, will probably make money writing about your ass one day.

normal ass is as plentiful as the leaves of grass and when people say they cant get any ass theyre overlooking the normal ass.

normal ass doesnt like being identified or boxed in or bagged and tagged.

normal ass wants to think that its special, but its not.

normal ass is as normal as the pimple on the ass of a good looking girl.

me, i like easy ass, and i must admit that i get fooled into the idealistic dream that theres some perfect ass out there for me that will love me when it finds out my phone number, and yet im willing to settle for normal ass.

i dont think im much different in that example than most men.

if youre a man under the age of 100, any ass will do, but once you get older than that dont be suprised if you get impatient when perfect ass stops being perfect or when easy ass becomes dull.

even at 109 years old i have never been bored by easy ass, however ive grown tired of jump-through-the-ring-of-fire normal ass.

and because i have experienced perfect ass a few times i can tell you it does exist

even if it was probably a dream.

originally posted 8/7/03

+ kurt vonnegut wrote a pro michael moore op-ed last month, even though i agree with him, i think we’re losing him

+ win $100,000 from the Hot or Not guys

+ as seen on evhead

because there is a God and He loves us. i keep telling you this. none of you listen. but it’s cool. it’s cool.

speaking of which, jeff jarvis wants us to lay off the hate and the evil and the mudslinging when blogging about this presidential election.

at first i was all, “come on hippie, isnt half the fun of a blog to have not only the ability to sling a little mud, but then sling a little more?”

but, as usual, i was wrong.

half the fun of blogging is getting nice emails from hot chicks who want to get naked with you. the other half is getting a chance to practice writing three times a day in front of hundreds of people.

there actually is no room for mudslinging in a proper blog that aspires to be taken seriously. a gentleman should leave that for the discussion boards.

blogs should be setting the standard. we should be setting the tone that tv and newspapers and magazines once had. and even if we shouldnt be, we could be, so therfore we should be.

the busblog doesnt need to lower its standards to the level of others just because theyre doing it.

and since everyone is so frickin confident about their guy’s record, why bother with the bs?

as a reluctant kerry supporter, i hereby take my man jeff jarvis up on his plea. i will no longer talk about our president’s incomplete military record where he obviously took a few months off to go to rehab or bang sheep or do whatever it was that he was doing. i will no longer write about things that are not rooted in the main facts about this particular race.

the facts being the economy, the war on terror, health care, education, constitutional amendments, the seperation of church and state, the war on drugs, wmd, obl, and the war in iraq.

if jeff wants to lay out a few more standards, i believe that will be helpful.

meanwhile, i would hope that any blogger who thinks that they can run a mud-free blog who supports the president will refrain from john kerry’s health records, his opposition to the vietnam war, the swift boaters, michael moore’s weight, etc.

similarily i will not run out and buy kitty kelly’s new book. and if i do i wont write about it.

sound fair?

hope so.

welcome back raymi. we missed you.

please dont ever go away again.

bunnie + welch + sean bonner + luke is special

that even the chicks i got it on with don’t even remember.

witness:

mr_dumbass: when was the last time we got it on?

CliprGirl: ummm, maybe 2 months ago

mr_dumbass: you dont have the exact date?

CliprGirl: no!

CliprGirl: why would i

mr_dumbass: cuz girls remember these things

mr_dumbass: by the way how is that sweet ness

CliprGirl: ohhh

CliprGirl: wait

CliprGirl: maybe I do know…was it…

CliprGirl: the night of the White Orchid champagne tasting

mr_dumbass: did you put out that night?

mr_dumbass: you wouldn’t even let me touch you in front of your “friends”

CliprGirl: righht

mr_dumbass: or were you just on the d/l

mr_dumbass: and then i rang your bell once we got to my house?

CliprGirl: sorry, I am trying to get my agent to stop putting me on these gay shoots and my ohone is ringing off the hook, and you’re blowing up my chat box.

mr_dumbass: no prob

CliprGirl: Tony, I don’t remember when the last time is that we had sex

CliprGirl: sorry

CliprGirl: but it was about 2 months ago

CliprGirl: maybe a bit more

mr_dumbass: but you’re pretty sure we didn’t do it the day we went sailing?

CliprGirl: yep sure

mr_dumbass: hmmm

thank jah nothing in here is true or i might be busting at the seams right now itching to at least go to my nearest strip jointery to remind myself what a naked girl looks like.

sahalie + radiohumper + anti doesnt have these problems

they come in threes

Global survey shows 30 of 35 countries want Kerry in White House

WASHINGTON (AFP) – A majority of people in 30 of 35 countries want Democratic party flagbearer John Kerry (news – web sites) in the White House, according to a survey released showing US President George W. Bush (news – web sites) rebuffed by all of America’s traditional allies.

On average, Senator Kerry was favored by more than a two-to-one margin — 46 percent to 20 percent, the survey by GlobeScan Inc, a global research firm, and the local University of Maryland, showed.

“Only one in five want to see Bush reelected,” said Steven Kull, the university’s program on international policy attitudes. “Though he is not as well known, Kerry would win handily if the people of the world were to elect the US president.”

The only countries where Bush was preferred in the poll covering a total of 34,330 people and conducted in July and August were the Philippines, Nigeria and Poland.

India and Thailand were divided.

The margin of error in the survey covering all regions of the world ranged from plus or minus 2.3 to five percent.

Kerry was strongly preferred among all of America’s traditional allies, including Norway (74 percent compared with Bush’s seven percent), Germany (74 percent to 10 percent), France (64 percent to five percent), the Netherlands (63 percent to six percent), Italy (58 percent to 14 percent) and Spain (45 percent to seven percent).

Even in Britain, where Prime Minister Tony Blair (news – web sites) is Bush’s closest ally in the war on terror, Kerry trounced the incumbent 47 percent to 16 percent.

Kerry was also greatly favored among Canadians by 61 percent to Bush’s 16 percent and among the Japanese by 43 percent to 23 percent.

Even among countries that have contributed troops to Iraq (news – web sites), most favored Kerry, and said that their view of US foreign policy has gotten worse under Bush.

They included Britain, the Czech Republic, Italy, the Netherlands, the Dominican Republic, Thailand, Kazakhstan, Japan, Norway and Spain.

Bush Criticised Again Over Military record

DNC: These new documents show that the president did not serve honourably

By Greg Frost

BOSTON (Reuters) – President George W. Bush fell short of meeting his military obligations during the Vietnam War and was not disciplined despite irregular attendance at required training drills, The Boston Globe says.

In a reexamination of the president’s service in the Texas Air National Guard, the newspaper said Bush appeared to have broken his contract with the U.S. government by not joining an Air Force Reserve unit when he moved in mid-1973 to Massachusetts from Texas.

The military records of Bush and of his Democratic opponent, Massachusetts Senator John Kerry, who was decorated for his service in Vietnam, have featured prominently in the campaign for the presidential election on November 2.

Republicans have made Bush’s leadership of what he calls a global war on terrorism central to his campaign.

In February, the White House released hundreds of pages of Bush’s military records that showed he was absent for long periods of his final two years of National Guard duty but said nonetheless he met service requirements.

However, the Globe focused on documents Bush signed in 1968 and again in 1973 in which he pledged to meet training commitments or face a punitive call-up to active duty.

The Globe said in July 1973, before Bush moved from Houston to Cambridge, Massachusetts, to attend Harvard Business School, he signed a document saying: “It is my responsibility to locate and be assigned to another Reserve forces unit or mobilisation augmentation position. If I fail to do so, I am subject to involuntary order to active duty for up to 24 months… “

Bush spokesman Dan Bartlett told the Washington Post in 1999 that the future president had served at a Boston-area Air Force Reserve unit after leaving Houston. But Bush never joined a Boston-area unit, the Globe said.

“I must have misspoke,” Bartlett, now White House communications director, was quoted as telling the Globe in a recent interview.

“HONORABLE DISCHARGE”

White House spokeswoman Claire Buchan, responding to the Globe report on Wednesday, said, “The president was honoured to serve his country. He met his obligations, and was honourably discharged.”

The Globe also looked at a 1968 pledge by Bush in which he committed to “satisfactory participation” at Guard training, including 24 days of weekend duty each year and 15 days of active duty each year.

But the newspaper said he performed no service over a six-month period in 1972 and nearly a three-month stretch in 1973 — erratic attendance that could have prompted his superiors to discipline him or order him to active duty in 1972, 1973 or 1974.

Instead, Bush’s unit certified in late 1973 that his service had been “satisfactory,” the Globe said.

The National Guard and reserves, rarely called up during the Vietnam War, came to be regarded as “draft havens for relatively affluent young white men,” the Air National Guard says in a history on its Internet site.

The Pentagon on Tuesday released 17 pages of what it called newly found records concerning Bush’s service that showed he flew 336 hours in a fighter jet, most recently in April 1972, and ranked 22nd out of 53 pilots when he finished flight training at Moody Air Force Base in Georgia in 1969.

The pages did not resolve the dispute over whether Bush completed the service as required.

Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe said the details about Bush’s service undermined his credibility. “These new documents show that the president did not serve honourably,” McAuliffe said, accusing Bush of either lying about his record or suffering “some kind of severe memory loss.”

Log Cabin Republicans Don’t Want Bush

NEW YORK (Reuters) – Leaders of the largest group for gay men and lesbians in the Republican Party voted overwhelmingly against endorsing President Bush for re-election because he favors a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, The New York Times said on Wednesday.

The board of the Log Cabin Republicans voted 22-2 on Tuesday night against endorsing Bush, the newspaper said, citing a spokesman for the group.

Log Cabin in 2000 endorsed Bush against Democrat Al Gore, and in 1996 endorsed Republican Bob Dole against incumbent Democrat Bill Clinton.

The group in February criticized Bush for supporting the amendment. “Writing discrimination into our Constitution violates conservative and Republican principles,” Executive Director Patrick Guerriero said at the time. “This amendment would not strengthen marriage — it would weaken our nation.”

oliver willis + utter wonder + raspil iverson + katie

finally she’s legal to drink!

if you like the busblog you like amy. when i was but a lad, amy took me under her wing and not only taught me how to write but taught me how to research.

typically the coolest head at the college rag that helped produce welch, both whalens, dougie gyro, mc brown, a big wig at sony pictures, a dude who writes for the daily show, a suit at cbs tv, and dozens of other success stories, amy continues to exude the class that i am sorely missing.

one of my favorite opinion columns at the paper “just words” was inspired by our heated debates of my use of a certain cuss word.

there will be a day when the Daily Nexus years will be documented on stage and screen. i would pick serena williams to play amy.

why? amy is a thin-as-a-rail pale white girl from bakersfield, hardly anything like my thick nubian wimbelton princess.

because like serena, amy emerged from the shadows to claim victory over all of her naysayers, evoking a style of her own and the heart of a champion. who would have thought that amy would have what it took to control all the testosterone and attitude delievered by a newsroom of budding geniuses?

but she did. and dare i say that many of those young men are hard-pressed to find much that they created after the nexus that was as dynamite as when under her watch. of course there are a few exceptions. but not many.

yours truly included.

it was my great pleasure to hang out with amy this summer when we had our nexus reunion, and the nice thing about time and distance is that now i appreciate those days even more than i ever expected. of course during the many whiffle ball games in the bright sunshine next to the beach i understood how fortunate i was, but now many years later i see that indeed it was not only a time to remember, but an experience that i will never forget.

the work ethic and just plain old ethics that amy taught us via leading by example is one that i see resonated through welch and lallum and others today, but to see them first hand at such a young age was something that was of vital importance to me.

when, for example i bitch and moan about the president of the united states bullshitting the american public about how his records are complete, when they are clearly anything but complete, i think of amy and how she would have salivated at such a way to expose the lying liars.

happy birthday boss, i hope you have a great one.

when amy got hitched + amy’s blog + amy’s buzznet pics

so it’s come to this.

the pus has risen from the agitated sore.

red from irritation and dryness and grime.

“It’s absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice,” the vice president (pictured) told about 350 iowans today in des moines.

“because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we’ll get hit again and we’ll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States,”

vote for me or get hit again.

even though im the one who was in charge when we got hit last.

even though we didnt go to saudi arabie as 15 of the 19 mothers were saudi

devistating.

fear as the motivator.

a guy whose administration is responsible for the terror alert fear o meter saying

vote for me or you will get hit unquote.

canada, now do you see why we cant boot these adorable little monsters out?

just listen to those words.

sort of words that dogs would hear if they understood human.

sort of words little kids hear when theyve been bad.

do this or you will be hit. again.

as if we did something wrong the first time.

as if we had the brief saying that osama was determined to strike

as if we told everyone that iraq had wmds

as if we spent a billion a day on a war that had very little to do with being hit the first time.

dont come at us like we’ve been bad.

be happy nobody’s coming at you, blaming you, dick.

and the reason we’re not blaming you dick

is because we believe that the president of the united states

really can’t protect us from every single random act of bullshit.

for if the constitution couldnt protect us from you and george

then of course we cant expect you to protect us from gasp

terror.

heres what we expect you to do:

loot rape and lie. thats all.

please dont condescend to the good people of iowa

who could give a shit about your skyscrapers pre nine eleven

and dont remember getting

hit

during clinton carter johnson or kennedy

vote for me or die

what is this the new gwar record?

if you gave a fuck about iowa youd say this

we all know weed just makes you laugh and hungry

and since theres no way in hell that anyone who didnt vote for us last time is gonna vote for us this time

what we will do is legalize weed, let you grow it, and return you to your rightful place as breadbasket of the world.

yours will be the lower grade medicinal

kind

given to the terminal who need a mellow way to dull the bitter edge of oh cancer diabetes or aids.

but dick all you know how to croak out is

vote for me or your dumb ass deserves to die with that pussy triple purple heart gold diggin vietnam volunteer

who can wind surf and snow board or crawl around like an oompa loompa without fear of having a stroke.

vote for him and choke.

tink bares all + welch asks the question of the day + sk smith says an extremely bad word twice

playing our little game. it was labor day weekend and because shes the sweetest girl of all times people like to pay her to housesit.

she was housesitting in malibu this weekend. she asked me to help her. this involved drinking, walking around in robes, and enjoying plush carpet barefoot after a combination of sauna + hot tub + massage.

the house didnt come with a massuse but there was a phone number on the door of the fridge so we decided to splurge a little.

$100 for the pair of us, half hour each. pretty good deal i think.

after the ladies left my sweetest and i played a new game called “im more relaxed than you.”

it goes like this.

you float on a little raft or chair or boogie board spread eagle toward the sky and you do your best to be as relaxed as you possibly can.

this involves removing any negative thought or even positive thought out of your head if it makes you anxious/excited.

from afar it sounds like the popular pool game marco polo because all you hear is one person saying

i am more relaxed than you.

to which the other person sings

i am more relaxed than you.

the game ends when the winner falls asleep.

i say winner, but there are no losers in this activity.

there are sore losers, however. they are the ones who once realizing that they didnt win, technically, decide that a new game must immediately begin.

yesterday after i had clearly won the relaxation game, my true love decided to play the i can make a canonball off the springboard game.

to which i floated around saying i am still more relaxed than you.

to which she dunked me under the warm water and said i am more drunk than you

to which we began a new competition

which ended late last night with the lets see who can puke into the pacific while saying the alphabet game.

no, the terrorists most certainly havent won. and neither has tiger, which is why he needs to stop playing in the pool with his blonde model and get back to playing some serious golf.

kitty bukkake + nickerblog + bunnie + xtracyx