my brothers are all stun stunners.

im about to do a few things that i dont like doing very much. im going to pack my clothes. im going to get in an airplane. im going to leave hollywood. im going to get out of the house. im not going to blog all the time. im not going to have my tivo. im not going to have my many mansions. im not going to be able to call a wide variety of xgirlfriends and beg them to come over to keep me company. im not going to be able to check in on my fantasy teams.

a long time a go i wrote a proposal to a company to let me travel around the country and represent them. a job i did right out of college for philips/magnavox, webtv, and microsoft, except this would be on a bigger scale for a smaller company. they said yes and i was happy and nervous, then they said no and i was sad and relieved.

the crazy thing is i love being in other lands and i love other people and i love other foods and musics and girlies and customs and television programs but i have a hard time getting out and actually doing it. it takes something as simple as a warm invitation and a group of people who i respect, and a thousand bands including my favorite, tsar.

my most recent x is generously driving me to the airport very soon and i will miss her deeply, and if she allowed me to photograph her i would take a picture and put it here but instead i will be forced to present to you this photograph of my college girlfriend jeanine smoking and drinking on a tuesday night. beautifully.

even though my camera is still in the shop, i plan on taking pictures of austin. im not sure how i will do it, i will buy a new camera if i have to, but someone needs to archive the inside of my hotel room besides the throngs of camgirls who will no doubt find their way to my hottub and slip in and eventually blackmail me.

through the wonders of buzznet i will update this page electronically. mc brown, by the way will be in the house. he called me last night from a loud gathering wondering if i was in austin and i laughed. the deal is at 10:30a i will probably be there an hour earlier and run to the hills like iron maiden as quickly as i can.

a very nice reader offered to be my austin concierge. he emailed me his cell phone number and invited to show me around town and be at my beck and call. thats hospitality my friends. dont expect that when you come to los angeles. not from me at least. and its not because i dont love you. i do. its just because as marilyn manson said, im a black rainbow. but at least im rolling the stone from my cave door for this week.

my good pal sonny i. lavista will be housesitting in my stead. its funny how easy it is to find a housesitter these days when you have every directv channel and xxxflix and dsl and parking. it makes me wonder if i should charge him.

party at the convention hall monday at 11:30a

party at the hard rock on st pattys with tsar

raspil + sk smith + the deputy

as you know im going to be speaking at SXSW

which is quite an honor for me. and i will have a chance to possibly win a Bloggie for best post about blogging. And i get to autograph my book a few hours before Al Franken autographs one of his book.

and then i get to see tsar on st. patty’s day at the hard rock.

its going to be quite a spring break.

maybe i should start packing.

and i might even get to finally meet Madpony Kristin (!!!) which i might be more excited about than any of the above.

but what really got me excited/nervous was an article by The Register, a british website that flowed with a pre-write piece knocking, i think, all the big-time bloggers who will invade austin over the next few days.

of the hoards of “interactive” attendees, check out their short list:

The South by Southwest (SXSW) music festival in Austin has always had a technology bent to it. Intermingled with the voluminous quantity of music and movies were speeches from leading IT pundits, open source gurus and the like. Sadly, this tech bent has turned to a blogger hell with the globs set to consume an inordinate amount of airtime – and air – at next week’s show.

Does Robert Scoble really work at Microsoft? One has to wonder after seeing his name appear on the SXSW speaker list. Scoble seems to scoot around the country – by Segway most likely – annoying all kinds of audiences with his “revelations” about blogging. Shouldn’t someone be required to write something interesting before being asked to talk about writing interesting things?

Or maybe you prefer, the Wonkette (pictured, left), Sean Bonner, Jason Calacanis, Henry Copeland, Jason Goldman, Jon Lebkowsky, Cameron Marlow or Tony Pierce. Surely one blogger is plenty to describe the idea of an online journal. It’s not hard to imagine the SXSW organizers looking back on this year’s lineup with shame.

wait, did they just insult me?

im so confused.

maybe theyre bummed drudge wasnt invited.

if youre going to be in town, please visit the panel I will be speaking at on Monday 3/14, Blogging While Black, with George Kelly, Jason Toney, Lynne Johnson, and Tiffany B Brown, which promises to be very interesting. (Room 16a, 11:30 am – 12:30 pm) which will be immediately followed by the Bloggie Awards which happens at the same time that im supposed to be doing my book signing (remind me to fire my manager).

at 2pm join me in drooling over Wonkette,

and then it’s off to the bars with sk smith who swears theres enough booze in texas for my insatiable thirst.

xtx + bicycle mark + amy

because nothing in my life is normal

she came over tonight with kfc and mrs fields cookies. the plan was for us to see tsar play tonight with karisa and her man.

the details dont matter. all you should know is that for a while she sat on one side of the couch as i ate and watched bill maher and for a while she slept right on top of me as i fell asleep to the reinactment of the michael jackson trial.

the trial that should have never made it to the pajama pants day since the sister of the accuser and the brother have now both admitted to have lied under oath.

her cell phone has a little alarm on it that she set for 1am incase we slept for too long because we knew we probably would because we knew we probably would never be together like that ever again. since all that sweetness is apparently troublesome later when broken hearts try to heal.

me, i dont believe in such things. i believe that one hour of goodness should have the same weight as one hour of sadness. therefore rack up the good as long as its there.

so i looked at her sleep. i looked at her wake. so pretty. even with cried-off makeup. i looked at her stand on my couch as i hugged her and i said all the nice things that nice boys always say

i said you’ll be back tomorrow and we’ll make sweet love

sunday we’ll have anal

and when i come back from texas i’ll tie you up real good.

then i gave her an autographed copy of charles bukowskis women

which i autographed for him

in front of her.

best piece i never got


charles bukowski.

four am is when she drove off cracking open a chilled frappuchino

her mommas gonna kill her

so i said just yell at her

we’re broken up are you happy

and slam the door.

and dont tell her we made out all night.

maizzy + zen for lunch + steph