a very good question was raised in the comments today

regarding “hurting” people through my blog.

here is part of the comment,

tony, i feel very strongly that if in the process of being comedic, and or angry, other people stand to get hurt, and you are aware of that possibilty beforehand, your right to do so should lose some rights to their right to be safe.

however, with that said, if before you wrote a funny, you could see the future, and in it you saw someone else being hurt because of your words, even indirectly, would you still say them? publicy, in front of 2000 people?

first of all the things that i write actually get read by about 5,000 people, if not more. yes i average about 2,000 hits a day but people skip days or more and then catch up when they come back.

but no im not afraid of “hurting” people because quite frankly i dont think i could hurt anyone through this blog, and if their feelings were hurt in some way thats their problem and i bet theyre letting sillier things than blogs “hurt” them too.

let me tell you a few things about being 111 years old. you get perspective when youre this old and right now we are experiencing a pussyfaction of america like ive never seen.

speech needs to be politically correct, laws have to restrict our freedoms so we dont fuck with the minds of the children whose minds get fucked with daily in other ways, if you call the president a liar normally-rational people will start questioning your patriotism

and people are running around pretending to have their feelings hurt by the names of sports teams, by the pledge of allegiance, by statues of the ten commandments, and by nipples at the super bowl.

sign me up for secretary of shut the fuck up and i swear i will use my bullhorn retlentlessly.

should you piss on korans? should you rape little kids? of course not. on the verge of a real holy war you dont fuck with korans you fucking morons, you dont hump kids, and you dont talk about peoples mommas. obey the rules and we know the rules.

when youre talking about comedy you have to know that langauge and oppressed classes are the easiest subjects, and some of the best.

comedy, in my opinion, as well as writing, as well as sex, as well as conversation, as well as rock music, as well as threesomes, as well as burritos, as well as art, as well as film, is best when its edgy.

sixteen candles is one of my all time favorite films, but today’s pussyfication of PC overprotectness would have sacrificed us the fine character Long Duck Dong who was a buffoon and a walking ethnic slur. and yet all his lines were classic. you think that even john hughes could convince a studio to allow a character like him in a film nowadays?

how would you like to be the dude pitching “48 Hrs” in 2005. “ok we have this young black guy in jail…” he’d be cut off immediately, and chris rock would say, “why’s it always gotta be a brotha in jail!”

writers should always be branching out and trying new things and pushing the envelope. and bloggers shouldnt even think twice about it since blogging happens on the internet and the internet as raymi perfectly put it is for losers.

i hurt far more people by holding back than i do by being funny. regular readers of this blog know that i love people, and when you love them you can make fun of them you can criticize them and when you do that you can then get to higher levels.

we are all in agreement that the g/l/t community is a vibrant and amazing part of this great country. i lived in the city of san francisco for four years and the city of hollywood for four years, and the one thing that i have learned is that all people want to be treated as equals and be given a fair shake.


then everyone gets to be made fun of, in a friendly manner, with love.

one reason i love howard stern is because he understands this form of equality perfectly. he will crack a joke on you whether you’re retarded or handicapped or old or homeless or racist or yes even gay. he makes it work not because his comedy is so golden – it’s not – its because you can see that he’s coming from the point of view of “we’re all freaks, me especially, and im just as retarded as these retards. so lets just have a big retarded freakshow every morning.”

could howard get on the mic and shout vitrol and hate on the mic every morning? of course. could i type my little ass off saying whitey did this to me, the president did that to me? of course. and it would be boring and a waste of time and youd never come here again. the test is to find that edge and skateboard on it.

the president is doing it, howard stern is doing it, and this blog needs to do it more often.

if people become offended by the things that i write or the way i say them or if they want to make giant leaps that the things that i write may convince others to perform hatecrimes on others then they can think those things and fear those things and be hurt, but im not going to concern myself about it until i see more than one or two well-meaning worriers say shit.

my mom who i love more than anyone in the world doesnt like me to swear and i dont even listen to her.

i recommend that all writers and especially bloggers write what is in their heart even if some of whats in there is dark or dirty or politically incorrect

or even gay as fuck

and then hit Publish Post.

bing + golden fiddle + vortexia + a year of lies

today is michele’s birthday

michele was my first california girlfriend. we were together for three years. best friends. i did a lot of things with her for the first time.

she called me a year and a half ago and asked me to remove her last name from the stories that ive written about her because she is a famous childrens book author and a mommy now, so i said ok.

without michele i would have not been interested in poetry or journalism or the cure or u2. she taught me to appreciate all of those things.

her family was and is wonderful, and incredibly loving and free. the parents let the kids do anything they want including letting fools like me spend the night on many occasions. i love them all very much and sometimes when im in malibu i will stop by and say hi – even if i have a different girlfriend to introduce to them.

michele lives in washington now, or oregon, or somewhere beautiful and natural. for a punk rocker she had many hippie qualities about her. she would weep at the sight of a whale or a dolphin, she would weep at the news story that would talk about global warming, she would weep at the newspaper articles about womens rights issues.

all of this was very eye-opening to me, who was from the suburbs of illinois and never thought twice about enviornmental affairs, or gender roles, or sylvia plath.

and fuck if i ever considered free verse valid.

michele allowed me to take lots of pictures of her, and for that i am indebted.

in many ways i owe her big time.

in many many many ways.

she was my buddy and my first real friend here in the golden state and if it wasnt for that begining guitar class in santa monica college my whole life, as dramatic as that sounds, would have been completely different, and its hard for me to think it would have been different in a better way.

i was eighteen when i met michele and im 111 now, and yet somehow today is only her 23rd birthday.

apparently she still has many more lessons to teach us.

jason + je_apostrophe + jason

twenty minutes with tony

this is the part of the blog where i wake up at noon, click around the web for twenty minutes and then blog for twenty minutes straight. at the tone the time will be 12:44pm. beep.

wtf is up with the instapundit. i swear to fucking allah, sure sometimes i take little jabs at him out of professional courtesy and flow him a little traffic and break his balls a little about being a closeted republican, but its all in good fun and he knows i have much respect for him, in fact i often call him my favorite blogger, which used to be the case, but hes really slipping and i cant say that i expect him to even stay in my top ten for much longer because i seriously doubt that he isnt on the take.

the courts have made two decisions over the last few days that have really let the world know what the good professor was all about.

the first was on friday when the court decided that the ACLU could have previously unreleased photos of the prison scandal at abu ghraib including video of our soldiers assraping little iraqi boys.

now the last thing that id ever want to be able to do is find myself in the position where someone could say “busblog soft on kiddie assrape”, but glenn pretty much does just that on how he’s handling this american atrocity.

yesterday the worlds most popular blogger, the instapundit, handled the buttraping story like so:

June 05, 2005
GAIJIN BIKER posts a report on what’s being done in our name that some people should find sobering.

UPDATE: Some important perspective on what’s going on, from The Anchoress.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Harsh words.

posted at 09:50 AM by Glenn Reynolds

his link to the gaijin biker is bascially a post that says blah blah liberal media blah blah abu ghraib is old news blah blah heres some pictures of soldiers being nice.

glenn’s link to the anchoress has a link to gajin biker and includes a passing defense of Lindy England!

and his link to “harsh words” is to the suddenly looney Bill Quick who accuses Newsweek (and the “MSM”) of treason for “waging war” on the president.

is that how glenn reynolds feels about our soldiers sodomizing children?


ok well thats politics. all my readers and friends and everyone have told me for years that glenn is just a republican lap dog and will back the Bush administration on anything that they do, anything that they’re responsible for, and anything that they try to sweep under the carpet.

i defend him and say, nah, it just looks that way. nah, he never said those things, he just links to them.

and besides i say, he’s pro-legalization of weed, he’s not really a conservative. just watch what he’ll do to the supreme court if they overrule medical marijuana.

today the US supreme court overruled the right of americans to use doctor-prescribed marijuana for their suffering and pain as they die.

what does the alleged Libertarian legalize-it college professor have to say about the 6-3 decision? nothing. no commentary. and like the good news source that he proports not to be, he links a variety of blogs, some of whom agree with the finding and some who disagree with it.

damn near fair and balanced.

but wheres the outrage? wheres the vengeful bloggod who when he gets a target in his sights (currently he’s locked on to Linda Foley, Newsweek, and Amnesty Int’l surprise suprise.) wont let go for weeks, if not months?

so amnesty international overexaggerrating the fucked up shit going on in gitmo by calling it a gulag is worse and deserves more energy and angst and is more detrimental to the safety of our soldiers, the safety of americans abroad, and the safety of americans at home than the fact that our people went to iraq and started buttfucking little kids and videotaping it?

youve got to be kidding me.

i can understand a full-on Bush spokesperson tapdancing around this story, but a blogger? a blogger who doesnt even claim that hes a republican? apparently we cant do wrong in iraq. we being any american with a uniform and or any american who calls himself a republican. we can even rape boys on video while their mothers watch.

today ive seen the future of blogging and its disgusting.

nearly as disgusting as watching the supremes piss on states rights, and the voice of the voting public, and judge on an herb that the good professor knows in his heart has no business being taken away from terminally ill human beings.

instead of standing up and saying, instapundit readers, this is bad, he says nothing and links to the dittoheads as if it were a computer program

engineered to appeal to the lowest common red state denominator.

which if that is the case, i take my hat off to you computer programmer, and like the dudes in the guinness ad say to each other


aham + tivo tricks + etienne

when tsar’s self titled debut

was released in 2000, hollywood records, a subsidiary of disney, spent a shitton of money of the record, which sounds beautiful if not overpolished and tame

but many believe that a big reason for the disappointing sales numbers was due in part to the label’s refusal to produce a video for any of the singles.

tsar lead singer jeff whalen is a freak, live theyre amazing, and the music and lyrics could provide anyone with even the most miniscule of creativity a virtual grab bag of images in which to create a music video.

well here we are five years after their first release and now tsar finds themselves on indie TVT records and the first thing the label did was hire some chicks for their first ever video.

thats what i call progress.

for the next 48 hours you can see the video

of the single Bands Girls Money

is the song great? why yes it is.

is the video great? uh, next question.

is this a step in the right direction? absolutely.

why are jeff’s eyes wide open like hes insane? i think it was because he couldnt believe that someone was actually going to cut a video for his band.

heres how you can see it:

click this address http://tinyurl.com/75u77 and scroll all the way down to the bottom. Then click Hi or Lo depending on whether your high or not.

then watch the video and perhaps you will join me in thinking, gee that didnt seem to hard to put together, i wonder why disney is a bunch of jackholes determined not to ever break a band?

and no, the hillary duff cd is not what id consider a success.

if anyone is super technical and knows how to take that .rm file and turn it into something viewable on quicktime, please let me know because id love to have this beyond wednesday.

Tsar on tour this week:

Jun 6 Metro, London
Jun 7 Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth
Jun 8 Fleece, Bristol
Jun 9 Little Civic, Wolverhampton
Jun 10 The Furnace, Swindon
Jun 11 Download Festival, Donington (i swear)
Jun 13 Junction, Cambridge (free)

new teenage fanclub cd tomorrow + splinky needs to switch to nsns + alecia