dear brownie,

yeah, i heard the bad news that you got fired, er, had to resign.

tough luck bro.

i sent you flowers and a care package but it got sent back, along with 17 tons of medical supplies.

stop doing that!

it’s also a pisser that everyone found out about your doctored resume.

you said you were a professor?

nice, dr. brown. i love your soda every time im at canters.

but seriously, to have your lies outted in Time magazine must truly suck. especially after you just came off a bad week where because of your blunders hundreds of people died and thousands suffered.

talk about rubbing salt in a wound, huh doc?

well at least you have a few brownie-backers, two that i can think of, the first being the President of the United States who a) never fired you (which means you can put this experience on your resume, proudly) and b) bought a few Brownie, heck of a job tshirts from my cafepress store – profits go to the red cross – hurry supplies wont last long.

oh wait, and c) totally proved that you werent the fall guy, you were the straight man in this neverending comedy

Bush at 3:39 pm EST:

Question: Have you accepted the resignation of Michael Brown or have you heard about it?

Bush: No, I have not talked to Michael Brown or Mike Chertoff – that’s who I talk to. As you know, I’ve been working.

Bush at 3:42 pm EST:

I can do more than one thing at one time. By the time I’m finished president, I hope you will realize that the government can do more than one thing at one time, and individuals in the government can.

– via thinkprogress

and then of course youve got the Instapundit, totally bro-ing you.

not only has he not mentioned your firing, i mean resignation, but he hasnt even uttered your name in the last two days.

which of course means that he hasnt told his gazillion readers that the president replaced you with that brainiac who two years ago told the country that the best way for them to defend themselves was through plastic sheeting

and duct tape.

thats right, duct tape man has snagged your job and the worlds greatest blogger is keeping it on the down-low.

thats a true friend if ever there was one.

i guess professors stick together.

and brownie, enjoy your Stiff margarita(s)

vivian + aaron clemens + fox force five + attack kat

four years ago today

was 9/12.

people talk alot about 9/11, but for me that day was just full-on shock and disbelief.

on 9/12 E! let us have the day off. after three four hours of tv i didnt know what to do. i wasnt really going to go in the subway. and i sure as hell wasnt gonna cruise around LA.

times were very odd because there werent any planes in the sky and the only helicopters were military ones that were SUPER loud.

occassionally youd hear a F-15 or F-16 fly by. it was quite eerie.

so i did what i always do when ive got nothing better to do: i smoked out and cruised the web.

what i noticed was around the world lots of people had started doing cool little demonstrations for America.

kids were dropping off flowers at our embassies, people were putting candles and american flags on gates, it was super touching, it was super cool.

part of the anger that i have for our president is back then all of us would have signed up for the Army, all of us would have accepted a tax to fund the military, all of us donated to the causes, and all of us were united.

and what did he do? he fucked all of that up.

so i like this particular photo essay so much because this was right before the fuckup. this was the world showing us that politics aside we’re all people and we all have feelings and deep down we all love each other.

i know, sappy, but four years ago thats what it was like.

hi, world

its 150am

and im such an idiot because i always stay up late on school nights and i always go to bed early on friday nights if i dont have a date or a show to go to or something stupid.

so lets do a twenty minutes with tony and hit the hay.

today was 9/11 and for some reason its like the second most holy day in my life. like i keep it so special that next year im worried what my new bosses will think when i ask for it off.

i dont know why it hit me so hard when it happened four years ago, but it did.

maybe it was the jumpers.

maybe it was the full on coverage.

but probably it was that it shattered my total suburban-raised misconception that this was a completely safe country and the worst thing that could ever happen to you is that youd occassionally be called a nigger or youd occassionally get pulled over for speeding or occassionally you wouldnt be able to find something good on tv.

and so every 9/11 theres always something that comes up that i have to pass on because for some reason i feel like i have to mourn. like seriously mourn. i dont mourn on the anniversary of my breakups with my xgirlfriends. i dont mourn at the anniversary of the deaths of my relatives. i dont even mourn the last day steve bartman went to a cubs game,

but 9/11 always depresses the hell out of me and out of respect to that day i always lay extremely low and go over that day over and over in my mind and pray and wonder and try to figure it out because theres so much that totally makes sense and so much that totally doesnt make sense and the xbi says that its the superhero in me who finally realized that its impossible to always save the world.

theyre wrong, of course, because you can always save the world.

so today i listened to the howard stern broadcast on 9/11 and every time i listen to that i hear something new. robin for instance said the f word. and howard sorta asked his boss like three times if he could leave, but tom kept saying no people need to hear you on the air.

its fascinating to listen to that show because in those few hours you hear howard stern go from dumb old howard talking about not making a move on pam anderson when he had a chance, to having someone turn on the tv so they could see what all the comotion was.

they saw the smoke from the first plane and within seconds they were saying its terrorists and bin laden. they knew. in that dark studio they knew, and its probably because of the first wtc bombing. then they saw the replay and they gasped just like probably how all of you gasped. then they didnt see the second plane but swore they saw smoke and kc said thats the other tower and robin said youre crazy but even though kc is crazy sure enough it was the other tower.

then later you could hear them talk about the pentagon,


how many of us forget that they hit the pentagon. i do.

and it made me realize, wtf are these people in the whitehouse doing going after iraq of all people. those motherfuckers took out the two biggest iconic buildings and thousands of people and then nailed the pentagon and you clowns are waist deep in a quagmire in iraq?

i cant believe the people who support this administration. republicans are supposed to be smarter than this. theyre supposed to be no nonsense. they even call themselves conservative, but theyve not only allowed hundreds of Billions to be dumped down that hole but theyve supported it, and they still support it even though they know that iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.


trust me, even i cant believe that there arent any connections to 9/11 and there werent any wmds but there werent and there arent. which means we have to move our troops to where they should be: afghanistan and the pakistan border saying little pig little pig let me come in.

that motherfucker castrated us that day, and you know how a black man feels about his dick. maybe bush doesnt care because he doesnt have a dick. maybe thats why he never seems pissed off, because he has to sit to piss. i dont know what that dudes problem is but for a guy who likes to play cowboy and for a guy who likes to act all tough with his “we’re gwanna smoke em out!” “i pity the fool!” he sure doesnt seem too concerned that osamas not been smoked out.

and people say oh but thats cuz he needs a boogie man out there so he can keep us under his thumb, but i dont buy it. theres plenty of boogiemen. chinas got nukes. the iranians are scary. hell even the korean threat is there.

not finding osama after four years is just pitiful and not only does it make america look like a bunch of keystone cops but it should embarrass the entire republican party. strangely, it doesnt.

so i put on fahrenheit 9/11. i dont own many dvds because once i see something, very rarely do i want to see it again. but that movies great. people talk about michael moore this michael moore that, but shut the fuck up. michael moores barely in that thing. and people talk about the natural gas pipeline being not exactly true or the richard clarke thing… but you tell me, after four years why havent we gone to saudi arabia and interviewed the bin ladins there. we fucking let them fly out on 9/13/01 why dont they do us a favor and just talk to us if theyre so innocent.

i’ll tell you why, because the republicans dont make it happen. theyre for some reason so fucking pussyassed scared about a democrat leader that they’ll let this saudi-loving oil family just do whatever they want. was the prosperity that they enjoyed during clinton gore That horrible?

i dont get it.

were they afraid that clinton was gonna woo all their wives away? steal their daughters too? w is the most sexless man alive, is that why they like him, cuz compared to him they seem hot?

none of this makes any sense to me. theyre supposed to be intelligent. they went to the best schools. theyre mostly white collar. they understand bottom lines. clinton’s bottom line was a positive. bush’s almost immediately was red and it only gets redder. shooting your wad in iraq and cutting budgets everywhere including new orleans has cost us billions and billions. all their little angels who they want school vouchers for so badly are going to pay for all of this. the grandchildren that they dream of are going to pay for all of this.

was it that important to them not to have gore, a man who spent 100 grand out of his own pocket to fly to new orleans twice to save people? is he seriously that scary that the right cheered on the supremes as they stopped the vote count and let the loser win?

hes a loser. he keeps losing. prop him up all you want but he isnt even trying to find bin laden any more. isnt that a loser to you? a fuckup who doesnt even try? bin laden could be on a roof in new orleans but bush wouldnta ever found him cuz he never looks.

why arent we in pakistan? do the repubs ever ask that question? do they ever ask any questions? only questions i ever hear them asking is why is michael moore so fat? why did bill clinton always choose fugly girls? whens pierce gonna talk about fucking again?

was it that important to them not to have kerry who actually knew a thing or two about war, who knew a thing or two about leadership and valor and courage, that scary that they came out in record numbers for four more years of not finding osama, of not spending wisely, of not winning this war in iraq, of not holding press conferences, of not speaking like a college grad, of not of not of not?

my buddy dan sent me the ap poll that said that bush’s approval rating is only 38% right now which means that most of america isnt like some of the people who comment on my blog or write those other blogs, but i dont trust that shit man because i see hella blogs out there where the righties havent flinched a bit.

but i did see obama on This Week today (read the comments too) and i gotta say, i dont trust his lets-take-the-high-road approach but the brotha sure is one smooth dude.

fucker better be packin is all i kept thinking.

the forever war + science blog + stereogum + jessica + steph