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its so easy, pretty much anyone can play

or scottish or dutch or whatever the hell language theyre speaking
crazy how we avoid the things that make us the happiest

why isn’t he backing Libertarian Ron Paul, the most Conservative member of congress?

a. because the instapundit lies. duh.

let me tell you a few things about the interwebs. its full of lies and lying liars. theres so many that when i started this blog i put “nothing in here is true” on the shingle, in a way, to welcome the fellow bullshit artists, and i was rewarded by many visits from a lot of them, if not all of them.

but the biggest one of them all was the instapundit. the man who said he was a libertarian but never wrote about libertarians in his political blog.

the man who said he was a libertarian but always had an excuse to support the republican president or his republican lackies no matter what they did or what the results were. and no matter how big it made the government, which goes against one of the main platforms of libertarianism.

some might ask, why would the good professor be such a big liar? and some might answer, money, greed, habit.

but i would say fear.

sure its insane from the comfy nothingness of knoxville that anyone would be skurd of anything other than another dull day, but people like the instapundit were perfectly fine until the president ignored the daily briefing and pretty much let osamas people attack america and then let his family fly home no questions axed.

and some people like the professor got skurt oh noes they said we have to have violence on those who did this. and even though everyone knew that saddam didnt do it the professor supported bush cheney as they invoked violence on a country that had nothing to do with what made the prof skrt in the first place. but boy was he happy that foreigners were being kilt.

more he begged. more faster hard stronger. more. more more and more.

people like the instapundit it turned out werent libertarians or conservatives they were warists. they wanted war all the time. the last thing they wanted was to believe that their government were a bunch of imbeciles asswipes and fucktards, blowing and fucking each other in the back of the press room, sucking and licking each other in the precincts, and using our men and women in uniform as pawns who would be asked to do longer tours than ever before so that people like the instapundit could feel ok about their blawgs.

more he typed, more. even though the libertarian way is less. less everything ron paul says except peace. more peace he says. more friends. more freedom, less government.

the reason the instapundit lies is because hes in with the in crowd. as main pajama on the board of pj media he has the ear of whoever is calling the shots in the republican echo machine and they have his pen.

since he is close to the powers that be, he wants them to stay powerful. because he’s doesnt give a shit about the normal man or woman, he couldnt be less interested in what they say, thus he refuses to allow comments on his rapidly diminishing blog.

who cares what mr and mrs america thinks in the comments if you’re going to pretend to distrust the polls that they partake in, and not give any love to the candidates that they say they want running the show.

why listen to the average people who work in cubicles when you know that their votes arent going to count, when you know that you feel safer with the rich white men that you know as opposed to the faceless grassroots of change that you dont know

and why pay attention to the long list of libertarian and common sense stances that you claim to agree with him about when you can discount his entire, revolutionary, campaign by dissing his supporters, “Yes. I disagree with Paul on the war, but I confess that it’s his poll-spamming, nasty-emailing supporters who have really turned me off on his campaign.”

this from a man who works side by side with the webmaster of Little Green Footballs, a website whose supporters would never ever ever vote as a block on a poll or be behind any “nasty” emailing.

ever.

liar.

this from a man who backed bush for a second term despite the nastiest of all smear campaigns, the swift boaters who seriously got away with pretending that a vietnam vet who enlisted and served two tours of duty and got a purple heart was not the hero that we had always known him to be.

and all to help W get re-elected? nothing is more nasty than that and glenn backed it to the very day he deposited his ballot.

meanwhile whats so nasty about ron pauls supporters, a base that is allegedly behind his opponents in fundraising by millions of dollars, from using the internet to voice their opinions? seems like the chair of as many internet organizations as glenn would welcome Americans who are backing a conservative express their opinions online, but because they choose to support someone who isnt paying off the professor, pauls peeps are the problem

and not his platforms.

what must it be like to lie so much? and so poorly? surely it cant be rewarding. surely your gut must twist. certainly there must be some treasure bigger than the fact that you helped but a dumbshit in the driversseat and enabled him to drive drunk all over the world and crash and start over.

the war is over, glenn. you and yours lost because you and yours went into something impossible to win.

trying to fight a war against terror is like trying to get partisans to stop lying.

cant be done.

ron paul couldnt have been a better candidate for what the instapundit has always said that he wanted – a libertarian with strong conservative roots.

only an idiot or a drunk would pretend that the next president is going to keep our troops in iraq so fuck this bullshit of “oh i disagree with him about the war”. the wars over. the next president’s main task is going to be about what next, and because im not a fucking liar and because i dont do what The Man pays me to do, directly and indirectly, im going to vote for the libertarian running on the GOP ticket because like i always said i dont vote for parties

i vote for people.

and ron paul is also all the things that i always said i liked. he wants to end the income tax. he wants to legalize weed. and he wants to end this war.

therefore id be a fucking liar if i didnt support him and let everyone know.

and if youre scared again, southern man, thats what the bible’s for.

while driving through TO

because she knows i still have love for nevermind

ah nevermind.

today we had two stories on LAist hit the front page of Digg
thats big for us because when that happens tens of thousands of people come to your site and say, hey wheres tony, we’re horny chicks and we want to make cupcakes with him topless

the first story was about two artist who were young and handsome and rich who killed themselves

for some reason someone at Digg re-marketed it as some Scintolgy thing, but if you actually read the story we barely even touched that angle. mostly because theres no proof. but also because, since when did that church ever go after the rich and famous? even allegedly?

whatevs, then we got our interview with the creator of Weeds on the front page. she says shes against weed.

then people sent me nice emails. then someone said i was their hero. then pretty girls said nice things. then mtv invited me to the video music awards

and then i was all dude go to the liquor store and get yrself a lotto ticket

and then a long lost stranger wrote me and said my writing since canaduh was way better and i said if hot sex doesnt inspire you youre fingers smell of the wrong sex.

ok i didnt say that

i said keep sending the nudes baby

last night i wrote all night about the new matt good record so feel free to read it and learn to love it. did you know that you can get it off iTunes for just $7.99?

thats approximate 1/3 the price of getting it off Amazon.

how is that even possible?

youre missing out

its always been one of my favorite shows.

this year i started out hating everyone. i didnt know why they put two gay guys in there and only one hot chick who didnt have a dad in there. and then all these randomly lame dudes.

theres a guy in there right now with the fakest teeth and hes just so amazingly lame its like how did this guy make it through even the first round? is he secretly a robot or something?

the only saving grace has been Jen, who is up for nomination for the third time. the house hates her because she has no social skills and has a terrible habit of not only looking smoking hot no matter what she has to work with, but she can handle the verbal abuse by the tommy lee wannabe and aptly named Evil Dick better than anyone youve ever seen.

i love her and i want to reproduce with her

in the above video you will see what she did to a Unitard that she was given by Big Brother as a punishment for a game that she lost.

im just trying.

but yoda said not to try to DO so im doing.

i know youre doing too but only one person can drive the mach five and the stars above picked the prick and we’re stuck with it.

i dont know about you but what im doing right now is exactly what ive wanted to do since i gave up wanting to manage the cubs.

something i still havent fully given up on.

and im sorry i come across like i think that i know that im better at it than anyone but thats exactly how i played baseball too

blame it on being black. we like to talk. we like to pose. we like to dare.

people say they dont like kanye and some didnt like gary payton and some didnt like billy martin but i love all of them because they looked everyone in the eye and said im better than you im better than you im better than you

i loved playing against people like that. i loved playing with people like that. and i love working with people like that but only if its a fun im better than you.

like im better than you at filing this paperwork, im better than you at talking shit to the boss, im better at you than picking up one of the girls from the style channel, im better than you at writing posts on the interwebs of love.

at the daily nexus the finest college paper of all time mr pat whalen was better than me and at the first nexus party that i was ever at he put his tounge in my ear and said im better than you

and two days later i typed up my third or fourth piece for the paper and i walked into the office and he was editor of the paper and i put one copy of the article on his desk and i said im better than you.

and during the first iraq war he wrote a review of the janes addiction tape called ritual de habitual and typed it up and put it on my desk and said im better than you. and the next week i reviewed the first geto boys record and put it on his desk and said im better than matt welch.

maybe boys play meaner than girls but i dont think so. but one thing that boys do better is we make up better and get over shit faster and move on quicker. because theres a new game tomorrow sportsfans. theres a new paper tomorrow we have to get out. theres a new girl around the corner we have to say hey baby to.

when it comes to certain things im the most competitive person of all times. not because i feel nervous about things but becauase i feel confident about things. when you think you can hit the scoreboard with any fucking pitch they whip at you you aim at the scoreboard.

but i aim at the dot in the i of evil.

sorry.

that i have yet to master

for example some people can just read an email from you that says oh i dont know, hi remember me we used to be friends. yeah well i heard about that crazy bridge that fell down in minnesota and i know youre still in school there so yeah hows about emailing me back and telling me youre not squooshed by the side of the mississip.

and some people can just ignore such emails.

then there are others who can ignore assholes right up in their face. like im watching Big Brother religiously. as in only on sundays. jk. theres this chick Jen who i didnt like at first because she was simply Generic Bim #1, but this dude who thinks hes Tommy Lee Jr. has poured iced tea on her head, called her every name in the book, and even claimed that he could see her cellulite through her clothes and she doesnt even blink. she smiles and says i know i have cellulite. so?

thats a level of not giving a shit that i truly admire. in fact id hit that shit now and im secretly wishing that she wins. her or the black girl.

the gay guy stretches in amazing ways and i sorta hate that. dudes arent supposed to be that limber. it worries me. he bends right down without bending his knees and i fear that his poor back is gonna break. can the spine really stretch all the way that way?

lou pinella of the first place chicago cubs doesnt give a fuck. last night he had a guy up at the plate and the count was 1 ball and 1 strike and lou pinella of the first place chicago cubs said fuckit and pinch hit for the batter right then with the count 1-1. cubs won.

the key of not giving a shit, ive discovered, is to have an amazing Plan B incase the plan of not giving a shit blows up in yr face.

for example if you are at a bar in a foreign country and youre taking a leak and some guy sidles up next to you and starts talking crap about the good old us of a. you can get into some sloppy, bloody, completely unsanitary brawl in the stinky back room bathroom and possibly die, which is an option if your Plan B is “there just might be a Heaven which i just might qualify for.”

or you can say dude fuck off im black. nothing you hate about america has anything to do with me. go talk shit to some white people.

like your momma.

and heres a lesson from me to you. just because lou pinella can do it doesnt mean you should try it alone in a foreign land.

lou does it in front of tens of thousands of people and dozens of teammates.

and yes i know this is the kiss of death but i had such a good time in canada im going to write a book about it.

called

wait oh no stop shit sorry

just in time for thanksgiving.

im so sorry i shaved you.

please talk to me again.

please stop making every new hair feel like a tiny splinter being stuck into my… balls.

i dont know why i did it.

the girls didnt even ask me to.

not the canadian or irish or malaysian ones at least. they just lusted me for who i was.

as it should be.

which is why i did it, for them. because they Didnt ask.

it was the cuban who put the bug in my ear. and karisa didnt help either.

trim! theyd say.

or shave! theyd demand.

why do i listen to anyone who has their shirt still on? seriously.

isnt that rule number one in the bachelor bob rulebook of how to accept constructive criticism? never pay attention if the chick is fully clothed. duh.

i wanted to take you to see the format tonight at the avalon but you would have just complained.

yes this bikini zone is working. but im a healthy man. and a minister. what would it look like if i walked down the streets of hollywood scratching my package and yelping each step as a new stiff hair digs into my african american dream.

LAist nearly got a million hits last month. i just got off the best vacation ever. two of my writers just got picked up by the LA Times. prettiest girl ive ever seen on facebook today full on sent me an email from her workplace and the whole thing made me smile.

and the cubs are on a damn roll.

with you in agony, balls, you’re sorta ruining this magic week.

please get better soon and i promise i will take you to some cool places other than this couch in hollywood.

and i swear to you that i will never allow a razor anywhere near your general direction.

yours in rock,

tony