starring… luke ford

and hes rockin the sweet beard, which makes him look nothing like this picture

you should check it out.

h/t tabloid baby who has a quickie lil interview with him where he reveals he has sold lukeisback.com

bro sells more Luke Ford websites than anyone ive ever heard of

yesterday in the home where six months ago we celebrated friendsgiving, many of those same friends returned to celebrate matt and emmanuelles return to LA and the fact that they will have a little girl in about a month.

children were everywhere, music and great conversations permeated the screams, cries, and nudity.

it was a beautiful place to be on a beautiful day.

just ask charlie and baby bea

its too hot for this i keep whispering.
she loves fighting and i hate it.
she loves to scream and it frightens me.
all the noises from my home make the neighbors wonder, i wonder
when shes happy shes loud, when shes thrilled shes loud, when shes you know
shes really loud.
and when she shrieks out of anger
all of it, i imagine, sounds like im killing her.
black man + little pale white girl + only the woman screaming
doesnt look good for the black man.
so i whisper
keep yr voice down or i shut the windows
MAYBE I DONT WANNA KEEP MY VOICE DOWN
i dont have ac.
and i dont have a camera battery else youd all love to see her
in this velvety purple bra and and super short and striped miniskirt
neck all red from screaming but rest of her skin coconut white
bangles flailing black fingernails screaming
everything loud and dramatic and now shes throwing things
if she hits my tv there will be sudden silence, so i move into the living room
and think what i will tell the cops if they come
id just lie to them and tell them she caught me with her sister.
cuz no one would believe that when shes happy she starts fights.
when shes complete she tries to end it.
everything is upndown. everythings inandout. everythings hotncold.
everythings self-schadenfreude
i move the coffee table and lay on the carpet.
i say you get to throw one thing on me but then you hafta be quiet all night.
she looks at the couch. she wishes she could lift that.
sees the tv, but its a 35 inch mits.
oh fuck she sees the 20 lb dumbbells and goes for them.
i say just one dear.
she gets both and holds them over her head menacingly.
i think maybe ive been making out with the devil himself all weekend
disguised as paleskinned radiohead fanatic.
i remind her that even one of those dumbbells at that height could crush my skull
and i dont dare close my eyes because what if she aims lower.
all i know is she isnt screaming any more
and i have the most amazing view up that skirt

to include, riding bikes as a form of social activism.

i dont know when riding a bicycle became punk rock (to some people) but ive never bought it.

critical mass in frisco, midnight ridazz here in la, all it is to me is a way to say look at me look at me. which i suppose is what a mohawk was for, but i never wanted to run over a person with a mohawk before, or ever.

with that said i do like the super tall bike in this video (via mickipedia). that, is punk rock.

last fall i wrote one of my favorite posts for LAist (“Ficus? Ficyou…”), a piece about how santa monica wanted to tear down 50 of their most beautiful trees because they were buckling the sidewalks, because busses scraped up on them, and because they wanted to expand the outdoor mall.

one of my dearest friends runs all the parks in santa monica and even though she has nothing to do with this week’s destruction she told me that the ficuses were screwed. so i gave up hope.

LAist and the LAT of course had the story and our boy Adam Rose had the pics. like the one above.

LA Now even has video.

she likes butterflies and rainbows, frappucinos and prettyboys
pop music and diet coke, hearts pierced with arrows
she fiddles when we have to wait
not everything is super great
woke up this morning and it was already hot,
she had pretty woman on the non hd channel
topless like it aint no thing
winked at me, licked her candy ring
i said ive never seen pretty woman if you can believe it
she flicked it off
said lemme
tell you
all
about it.

here are your answers!

Hey Tony!

Greetz from Amsterdam! I KNOW you’re busy making the LA Times tasty for the blogosphere and stuff! But when might ya get a chance to visit teh magic kingdom again? (And when can I get added to your 2009 list?)
Todd

I have a few things I need to accomplish at the Times before I allow myself to get back to Holland. Further, in order to go i need to know that JaG will allow me to take her on a proper date. the last time i was there i believe there was some nonsense i had to work around in regards to her boyfriend or girlfriend or something. and then there was the matter of me hurling into one of the canals, etc.

as for getting added on the list, i promise to get caught up on that this weekend, so anyone who wants to get on that list who is linking the busblog, put your blog url in the comments and i’ll hook yr ass up

What’s the question you’ve been absolutely dreading or totally hoping for since starting this series but have not yet been asked? Ask it for me by proxy, and answer truly, you jackanapes.
Tonio K.

theres very little i dread or hope for these days. i just want a quiet neighborhood, reliable internet access, and good health. after nearly 7 years of having open, unmoderated comments on a better-than-average blog, i doubt that any question could throw me one way or the other. but i do like when the ladies say hi in the email.

what’s with all the dress shirts lately?
adrienne

brothas gotta look sharp in the office. representing the entire blogosphere and what have you.

how late should i stay up partying with antidis and bigtanky this weekend?
timmay!!!!!

the question isnt how late but how early. watch the sunrise over the real pacific my friend.

Are you going to come to my wedding? Do you like Italian girls? Do you like free booze?
Smelly Danielly

weddings make me cry, so probably not. i not only love italian girls but they were pivotal to my early development. angela romano gave me my first kiss, claudia depa was my prom date, and ashley bevilacqua taught me that i still hadnt learned it all. i hate free booze. i like overpaying for my vices.

Did you see Matthew Good’s blog about Keith Olberman? What did you think of it? What is your opinion on Matthew’s feelings about Kieth’s sign-off?
Roxanne

i like olberman, i think hes funny, and i like that he can get serious like this. but sometimes i think his special comments go on for too long. id tighten em up. sorta feels like sometimes he just likes to hear himself talk. takes one to know one, i know, but i think its interesting that a quasi anchor is taking aim at the president of the usa. certainly nothing youd see in more than a few countries.

as for using Morrow’s tag line, i dont see what the big deal is, its clearly a tribute and a reminder of a far different age in tv journalism that keith o would probably like to return to in some form. but the irony is half of the stuff he does on that show would never fly in the 50s. maybe matt can explain his problems with it if he hasnt already.

Are you going to get a Vin Scully blog going to replace Kareem the Bailer? Because THAT would be rad.
Basart

vin has contributed more than his fair share to the conversation of sports. although a blog would be great from someone like him, i wouldnt hold my breath.

what’s up with sksmith’s blog?. . .
bloopy

SK now blogs for Wonkette where she is sorta the Babe o’ the Blog. so i think what she did was made the blog private so that her newly found fanboys would have a harder time stalking her. Hey Fellas: you can find her at Coyote Ugly at happy hour on 6th street M-F. duh!

I’ve recently been getting into Charles Bukowski. I know you say things like “Read anything and everything by him”, but I’m asking you to make some distinctions. What are FIVE items by Charles Bukowski that everyone, or just me, should read?
Michael (aka Azreal Darkskies)

the trinity is Women, Post Office, and Notes of a Dirty Old Man. i would add Factotum and You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense. but really everything was/is terrific. swear.

Have you ever seriously or casually dabbled in any other art forms besides writing (ie. drawing/painting, designing, music)?
Dan

i played alto sax in grade school and junior high. drums in marching band in hs, i was the drummer of chopper one and the reluctant surgeons. as for art, i only paint watercolor on wood, like the bruce sutter deal on top there.

Would you ever consider doing a how to for twitter?

What’s the capital of Alaska?

Will dropping your name help me get a photographer job at the Times? and can i?
anti

probably not. uranus? probably not. yes.

Can you finish the following sentence?

“When Obama wins…”

Curtis

blacks and whites will make love in the streets. and the cubs will win the world series. amen

at the LAT, if we did, former LAist sports editor and now USC and UCLA blogger Adam Rose, would be a frontrunner for the kudos.

Adam has been covering the OJ Mayo story so well that ESPN (who broke the story about the teen hoops star who is about to go pro allegedly taking money and gifts before and during his Freshman year at USC) has had him on two of their shows as the USC sports expert.

you can read Adam on All Things Trojan and What’s Bruin every day on LATimes.com

we sat on a monument that looked like a gravestone
in downtown los angeles next to city hall
it was hot and we were eating chicken kabobs
in the shade.
it was a thursday, it was farmers market, it was the first day of summer
untechnically but pretty much.
she was young and beautiful and idealistic and dipping her kabob into her small dallop of humus
as i went on about this or that in the nastiest bitterest most heartbreaking way
what have i become i thought to myself as it dawned to me under the fumbling fingertips from a thai girls massage
who is this creature speaking from inside?
why have i cashed out any hope of hope any joy in love any belief that the future is uncertain
when did i become a knowitall
and sad?
i spewed and rambled and brought nothing good to anything
i wasnt listening or helping or adding or encouraging
but i did notice this little boy playing on the monument
headstone, gravemarker we all shared
hed poke his head around hers and smile at me
as i dissed childbirth and creating mini me’s
fucker couldnta been cuter
and thankfully didnt know english.

here are some pics from her “photo booth“