its very hard to make money on tuesdays

sergio calls them Terrible Tuesdays

i wasnt able to get out of the house until 5pm

so i thought maybe i should do an experiment where i intentionally drive when traffic is its worst and see what sort of money i can make

my nephew plays video games on the easy mode to learn

i play them on the hardest mode to learn

got a beautiful chinese woman from usc going to her boyfriends house in laguna beach

seems long. is long, but in the middle of the night it only takes an hour and i get $40

usually i wouldnt do it but $40 for any ride on a tuesday is great.

she said where she lived in china was during a time when ppl could only have one kid.

some families would kill the newborn girl or get an abortion if they knew it was gonna be a girl. but what happened was there were Alllll these guys and not many women.

i asked her if that was true

she said yes

i said so is it true that the men would try super hard to woo pretty girls like you because they were competing against like 10 other dudes for the same hot babe?

she said yes.

i said so did you ever make them do crazy things like buy you shoes or coats or top hats?

she said no. that she didnt want to take advantage of anyone.

also she said it was hard for the guys. lots of them visited the philippines or africa to find wives.

and i said, so is your boyfriend from your part of china?

she said im not dating a chinese man. mine is italian.

i said omg poor poor chinese guys. one of the few super smart super beautiful chinese girls in their town and she runs away to america and hooks up with an italian guy!

we laughed.

no tip.

not all the rides end cute

white oak blvd. afternoon. 24. so calm. we were in traffic but who cares.

she asked, were you in a frat?

do i look like i was?

lol no but you’re really outgoing

thank you.

i wanted to join a sorority because i didnt know many girls and i was going to rush one where my only friend was

but she gave me the heads up and said

you might not want to do this, they’re going to make you sit in a row

with the other girls rushing

and make you wear a dress or a skirt

and tell you to take off your drawers

and sit on the paper towel on the chair

and then they’re going to turn on the tv

that is showing lesbo porno

and you all will have to watch it for a half hour

and then you have to stand up

and if the paper towel is wet

you’re gone.

no lesbians in our house.

someone my age just had a health scare

am i in health scare age?

i really need to start walking more.

maybe as soon as i wake up.

im full of energy then and i blow it by surfing the web

i should walk to house of pies, get a pie, walk home

throw the pie right in the trash

maybe give it to the poor

all i know is im tired and now sad because this person was and is very very very nice

as is his family.

life is so weird.



im sad i didnt get to see u2 at the sphere

or otoboke beaver at the belasco

but im way ahead of the curve for things ive gotten to see

in my lifetime

hoping i get to catch some ohtani games

now that he works five miles from my bachelor pad

the librarian

im very happy today. might have been from Rosa who i picked up in the Arts District last night in the rain.
i have a terrible time with ADHD and even though i love recreational drugs these pharmaceuticals they have prescribed to me are the devil.
one made me wanna kill. one made me wanna kiss. and the one im on now suspiciously does nothing even though its 2x the dose of what they had given me.
one thing my condition does tho is allows me to drive beautifully in the rain in traffic on a highway of drunks at night while a young woman in super tight ripped pants tells me dirty things.
i can see every rain drop and predict all the cars movements. i can also hear intentions.
and last night, dear reader, 29 year old Rosa wanted some.
was she beautiful? am i?
was she dying for it? was i?
is there one thing i would risk my job as a rideshare driver for which would end this slow drip of tales? um.
messy hair. thick glasses. sloppy firehouse red lipstick. all the things i love. and worse: she wanted to talk about books.
talk rosa. tell me everything.
i am a librarian, she said.
libraries are my safe space. she explained. when i love a book its my new friend. i dont want the book to end. i speed read through most of it and hit the brakes as its wrapping up.
omg rosa ive never finished my favorite books.
ME NEITHER she shrieked, then leaned closer.
what are you reading now i asked, knowing this was foolish because i havent read a book other than the bible in forever because of the previously stated condition and impotence of the meds.
i listen on “tape” now. is that reading? nah.
im nearly done with a very dark version of harry potter she said sheepishly. ironically, as we splashed along the 101 into the Valley past Universal Studios where the wizard’s LA castle looms.
its about after Harry dies and many of the witches like Hermione are rounded up and bred like in The Handmaids Tale.
bred, she said in a way that sounded a bit guilty and confessional. as if i was the only person she has ever admitted to loving this book.
so wait, is it Fan Fiction?
omg yes! she said and flung back into her seat, beaming. you know of this genre?
im a million years old, young rosa, i know more than i should.
turn around, she said, as we were now speeding down the soaked 170 on our way to porter ranch. i want to see you.
instead of obeying and crashing i lowered my rear view mirror and turned on the dome light.
you dont look old anthony, she said.
youre only as old as yr girlfriend feels. but wait a minute – what Valley library has dirty ass Harry Potter Fan Fic i asked.
oh im in a No Judgement Book Club Facebook Group where we burn through books like these in a week and then talk about it.
you know what the Good Book says about judging one another, i asked.
she said yes i do, i was baptised two years ago, i love the Bible.
Rosa, you wont believe this, but the Bible is the only book-book that can hold my attention any more.
there was a silence from the back seat. and then a quiet i love the bible so much.
then, america, two turned on strangers got in a very deep discussion about how amazing the bible is as both a book, a sci fi novel, a collection of puzzling poems, and a fascinating study of human nature.
are we in love, rosa?
nervous laughter followed by this is the best uber ride ive ever been in.
we got to her gated community and she said the code is {redacted} which i punched in.
the gate slid open and she said
remember it.

im not nice to myself

i need to knock that off

i put these crazy to-do lists in my head i never achieve

i hate real ones. so i dont make a list. but i should. only 5 things should be on there.

and if its a normal day heres what theyd entail

  • write about rock music
  • uber for a few hours
  • work on hear in LA for a few hours
  • work on your short stories about driving website
  • [free space for ONE important thing that day]

ok fine