rooting for the yankees
peeing fetishes
foot fetishes
electronic dance music
modern day conservatism
incest porn
lack of outrage over priests fucking boys
coldplay
ryan seacrest
the designated hitter
clothes shopping
not wearing condoms
call of duty
smoking cigarettes
ass play
black socks
cucumbers
guns
san diego
super bad drivers
not washing your hands after using a public rest room
law & order
marrying for money
strawberries
root beer
bondage
i was all, snowboarding?
he said, skiing.
i was like, kids still ski?
he goes
but before he could i answered for him, not well.
LOL
id been driving for about two hours around SC. today was their first day back from break.
after so many days of getting very few rides i just wanted to do like 15 or 16 in a couple of hours and get the mojo going again.
did 22.
this guy was the last one.
he goes, hold on got my buddy coming.
im all, youre the invalid and you got here first?
his friend arrives with a jovial, hey cripple.
i slide the iphone and start the ride. Arabian Nights? whats that?
he goes, we’re gonna buy a bong!
LOL
his buddy is like, all the guys on our floor chipped in and we’ve got $100.
i go, what sort of flooring is happening in this dorm?
he’s like hardwood.
im all well you cant get glass.
he’s like i cant use a plastic bong.
i go dude one bong and an entire floor of freshmen dudes? that things gonna break.
he goes, theres carpet in the rooms.
and im well alright then, but maybe you should rubberize it or something. get creative.
and his buddy murmurs, the old one did break. glass.
i said SEE!
freshmen.
dont fight it.
theres nothing to fight.
there will be a time to fight things.
but most of the time the lesson is, how can i work this?
how can i improvise while going with the flow?
how can i adjust?
today there was a bomb scare or a real bomb at that big white building right there at the corner of Wilshire and San Vincente across from where i did lifespring way back in the day.
back when i was a lad i got my French visa from the embassy near there. i met a girl a few blocks from there who rode me around her moped and kissed me overlooking the valley.
one thing led to another and she told me to hit her. i said what? she said dont stop feeling me up, but with your other hand slap me. it turns me on. so i slapped her. she said harder. i said come on. she said no you come on. hit me bitch.
she had the sweetest voice and behind all the make up and punk rock clothes and attitude and book smarts she was one of the softest creatures ive ever been close to. it was impossible for me to hit her. so i just knocked over her scooter right there on mulholland.
well that was dumb, she complained.
so was taking wilshire this morning, i want to tell her.
works simple. first half hour of each hour try to get a Select ride.
if no rides appear by the second half of the hour just take any old ride.
the goal is $20 an hour. if you can do that for 20 hours that gets you $400 a week.
my goal last year was $250 a week which i hit but i rarely took any old ride.
its gonna rain pretty hard tomorrow they say
everyones probs gonna croak.
then tuesday Casie from Canadas gonna be in town.
but i will try this experiment, have no fear.
somehow.
theres nothing to understand. it’s all just a wheel that spins and lands on something and then we all have to do that dance.
theres nothing to feel. it’s just all lights and colors and our brains says beep boop bop and our lips moves and eyes blink and we march into the voting booth
and do the wrong thing
knowing we are doing the wrong thing
knowing that there are actual smart people in the world who should be flying the plane, building the future, splitting the atoms, beginning the beguine.
she said can you stop writing about yourself
he said who is me, do you know? does he. does God?
she said God knows everything.
he said, then how is it interesting to him? who wants to watch the Brady Bunch for 45 years every day? dont we want to see marcia get hit in the nose by the football and then grab a knife and chase Peter around or Bobby or whoever threw it and say im a high school girl, my nose is everything, youve ruined me, the girls will laugh at me more than the boys because high school boys are so horny they dont care, i just have to keep wearing these short dresses but how am i gonna survive the girls. fine, i’ll just move to a land of the broken nosed rejects.
eat your drugs, lunch lady. stay in vegetables, sloppy joe.
vote for the baby, states who dont think women should choose what happens to them.
play with fire, gullibles and history haters.
God does know everything
worst of all, he knows our hearts.
and then taking pictures
exclusive interview with leah
busblog: what the!
leah: it was her idea!
busblog: what’s that, 10 gallons of milk?
leah: just three, i think.
see the whole shoot here
for here is what happens when you die:
if you werent a total jerk to people
you get to fly
theres pie
you have the most incredible body ever
but people know you because of your heart.
like the shade of color it is
how strong it pumps
what some of your interesting veins look like
if it knows any jokes
what sort of beer it brews
how much it really cares about the less fortunate
and of course, if it believes a woman has the right to decide what happens with her body.
you’re really good at skateboarding in heaven
and skiing and surfing
and the water is always warm
and your soda never loses its carbonation.
to eat, they make you star in musicals, but you kick ass at singing and dancing
and you remember all of your lines always.
afterwards you have to kiss your way out to the alley
where theres a limo waiting
made of pizza
radiohead, meh
kendrick, meh
only beyonce can captivate that giant audience.
im not sure if i was even half my age if i would spend $1k on this.
which is a lie, of course i would. it’s rarely about the headliners.
my favorite memories about coachella were rarely about the people on last.
it was about the good times in the tents, the people i met, the people i went with
the entire weekend.
i would love to see Lorde.
and Banks
and the XX.
one day there will be a night where you just lay on your back, stare into the stars
and the music washes right over you.