feeling im the most boring person alive

i have zero drama in my life compared to these women.

and lets keep it that way.

maybe its cuz there are cameras in their face and the feel like theyve gotta front.

do you know how often i wanna front on a given fortnight?

bloggers shouldnt front. not american ones at least. we’re the examples.

maybe thats why canadian blogs are so good – no pressure eh

thats sarah palins advantage, b.t. dub, no one expects much out of her

they paint her as dumb and hokey. all i know is i saw kate gossling with those adorable kids

and sarah looked like a rockstar compared to her. and a movie star. and truly rugged.

the problem with the first few episodes is we see sarah in the woods with todd and todd’s a freaking outdoorsman, like professionally. hes amazing out there.

we also see her out in the wilderness with her dad who has been in the woods forever.

by putting her next to kate, finally we see a little more realistic context.

while camping, kate whines, “i dont understand why people have to pretend they’re homeless.”

i dont either baby.

my life is dark, cold, and empty

with you theres record highs so warm that if youre not wearing shorts…

its hot.

today my friends all gathered round to wish each other a merry christmas

they brought their precious little angels who when you said whaddya asking santa for…

theyd say a stable economy and a real plan to ease unemployment

children are best for blocking the shots from prying paparazzi

it was so good to see everyone, many of whom ive known half my life!

the littlest baby was uptight till this lil layne kept saying hi to him: adorables

the angriest cat in america was there and someone asked a little girl if she remembered being scratched two years ago by him and she was all nope!

the idea was to trim the tree but that tree looked just fine the way it was

the overflowing dishes of food, though, did appear in need of (reverse) trimming

especially the jumbo shrimp, cheese, and meatballs

know what made me happy? that no matter how old we get, theres always room for red plastic cups.

and little kids who’ll pour us a nice glass of apple juice on the floor

merry christmas friends, cya at new years!

so someone said BACHELOR PARTY!

we first met Dylan so far back in the day there wasnt even color film yet

above (top left by Dan Jeffers) he’s holding an Inside Wave, below he’s right in the center of the pic

you may also remember Dylan in his band Shapes of Racecars or as Dracula in Monster Squad

the plan was to meet at the Roosevelt, have some drinks and burgers and then go to the Tron premiere

then back to the room for some more drinks (and dogs)

then off to bowling

where someone you know bowled pretty well despite being hammered

yes those are 5 strikes in a row

and then a gutterball 🙂

congrats dylan!!

good luck on your nuptials and world tour!

shirts that go for $50 in the store were 5 for $40, 10 for $70. something like that.

jackets that go for $175 were $40. $100 pants were $25.

they had dresses and hats and gloves and dog collars

punk rock and metal blared on the loudspeakers

after karisa took me to this peruvian lunch spot that was perfecto

prince is like 78 years old and stills got it.

i love that even barbara walters has no idea how to handle herself and thinks the only way she can bond with prince is to try to impress him with a beiber quote.

but i doubley love that prince doesnt even know that he alleges to play piano and drums.

“i hope he picks up an instrument.”

anyways prince ftw times infinity

palm reader says youre a libra on scorpio cusp
gemini rising
tony says youre a palm reader
your palm says see chart pick a card
one a hearts
dog barks someones at the door
kid opens, is ilka home
no
or do you want the bad news
gimme the good
youre capable of entirely anything
what about the bad
you said you only wanted the good
well now i want the bad
why
the little kids flipping past peoples court
news batman news news
turns off tv
slams nerfball
and right now youre in the middle of everything
but there are more paths than you think
show guts
and when you cant
pretend

theyd gather round in awe and watch and take notes and secretly call their friends

“hes doing it right in front of me”.

but alas those days are over. im a child star who’s now an awkward adult.

im a classic rock band and no one wants to hear the new stuff.

FREEBIRD! they yell.

but unlike rock groups or crooners, a blogger’s past is unimportant to the kids.

unlike Jane’s Addiction i cannot just play Nothings Shocking for an audience and see them satisfied with delight at the umpteenth rendition of Jane Says.

but i dont despair, in fact i embrace the challenge. growth is what we should aim for. instead of making greatest hits and living in the past, we should constantly be striving to be better today than we were yesterday.

which is why i love blogging because the scoreboard is unblinking: suck and people will stop reading, rule and the rewards are plentiful.

today howard stern was given a new contract worth, reportedly, $80 million in cash for each of the next five years that he broadcasts his show on Sirius satellite radio. thats how people should be rewarded: kick butt, get paid.

unfortunately it doesnt always work out that way. sometimes you get rewarded for hitting .196, sometimes you dont get rewarded even though you’re kicking booty.

for those people i say hang in there baby, as led zep says, your time is gonna come.

, laugh, cry, and love.

1. Nick Cave + Harry Potter + very interesting tale as to how the two met up = 10k Facebook shares in just a few days

2. All you have to do is hit .196 in your contract year and the Cubs will sign you for $10 million for a year

3. A male XXX performer usually gets $200-$800 for filming a straight scene and $1,000-$2,000 for a gay scene.

4. Groupon passed on a $6 Billion offer from Google to buy it. “… a $6 billion pricetag represents nearly a fifth of Ebay’s enterprise value, more than a third of Yahoo’s, and twice that of IAC and AOL.”

5. Baltimore Oriole first baseman Luke Scott seriously does not believe that Barack Obama is eligible to be president.