speaking of alien creatures, im trying to talk to this woman

beautiful in every way.

only problem is she refuses to have a conversation with me.

but when she does it lasts for 3 minutes or less

yesterday it was less

then she will disappear for days.

but when she says things they are the nicest and most complimentary things ever.

yesterday she invited me to a baseball game at an incredible ball park in a few weeks

and when i returned the text to ask some questions

silencio.

not even sure if she read what i had written.

this has been going on for a very long time.

it’s like trying to have tea with a butterfly.

it’s like finding the greatest radio station that will let you hear one song

but usually only a half of it.

is that ghost band by rancid?

is that white dress by ldr?

was it all a dream?

because i have low self esteem sometimes i’ll think, did i ask the wrong question? did she take it the wrong way?

but now that i know theres aliens im thinking, is she a ufo

does she really wanna just anally probe me and see wtf humans are all about.

dear visitor to this planet: i am not wtf humans are all about.

im not even what hollywoodians are all about.

it’s 224am and even though ive brushed my teeth for the evening i realize ive only eaten half of the ding dong on my nightstand.

do not eat the ding dongs, ufos.

if you can help it dont eat anything in my apt

except for the tiny bananas the vons delivery chose for me

bc they hate me

like, who would ever want the smallest bananas?

lets hope she answers my question(s) tomorrow.

it’s like playing ping pong with a giant

gravity defying ball

and the equator

is the net

how do i have cats?

every day i think they’re just going to put on their top hats, light a cigar

and say, well, it was fun old chap. see ya around.

how are they even alive?

how is anything alive?

today on 60 minutes they showed UFOs and former military dudes saying

yep for a while we would see them every day over the pacific ocean

how did one of those dudes not accidentally shoot a missile at it

miss, and take out a few blocks of Santa Monica?

life is so short and now i guess its shorter because intelligent life is among us

and too intelligent to get close enough to us

so we could kill them.

because lord knows thats the only thing we do well here

that and make good tik toks.

anyways we’re all gonna die

dont wait for the second date to make out.

Isla Vista in the News

car drives off the cliff on the 6800 block of DP + Isla Vista Boat Boys Clarify: “It was completely sailable”

i coulda been in a lot of places in the end of the ’80s

i could have gone to UCLA, i coulda gone anywhere.

i could have gone to UCSB quicker but i woulda missed being in the dorms with the people who are still my friends to this day.

i dont wanna believe that God futzes with the gameplan.

i want to believe in Free Will

but it’s so hard for me to believe that i just luckily had to spend an extra year in junior college.

because that was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me.

what happened there was a domino effect to every cool person i would end up meeting for decades.

including meeting you.

will i see you tonight

on a downtown train?

everythings free right now

you can literally ride around the city for a little while for no money down

it can be a bit smelly but you have to wear a mask anyways so.

i did laundry and listened to bob seger’s we’ve got tonight

very odd song when you listen to the lyrics.

not the most confident man trying to get laid.

sorta funny deep down but maybe thats why it connected to everyone.

then theres tom waits with his downtown train

i remember those days

schedule so precise youd often have train or bus buddies

people youd see all the time

and wondered what was going on with them IRL

one of the earliest busblog posts

19 1/2 years ago was about this girl id see every day in the subway.

shes probably so rich by now.

took me a while but i finished Inside Out

hadnt realized how much i forgot about that movie.

halfway through i was getting mad at Sad for fucking everything up and i was seriously wondering why Sadness is even necessary in life, let alone that small control center in the brain.

but of the many things i learned at college, when writing stories there’s a three step process:

introduce lovable characters,
then fuck them over royally
then watch them return to glory

so how can you have that arc if you don’t have sadness and anger and disgust right in the middle of it.

for every peak you need a valley

told all this stuff to my shrink today and she seemed impressed at how much i got out of the film

so how will you use this in your life, she asked me?

i said if i see a pretty girl who looks sad in a picture, i wont try to stand on my head to make her smile, i’ll just think to myself

there’s some good times heading that chick’s way.

i see my shrink today and we’re talking about emotions

so i finished inside out and now i am seeing if, through my 20 years of writing this blog, if i have mentioned any of the emotions:

happiness / happy – 1,769
sadness / sad – 1,355
fear / afraid – 795
anger – 594
surprise – 385
angry – 155
disgust – 141

this is out of nearly 13,000 posts

what does this say about me?

i hope i find out

 

chris and i saw the lakers play to hundreds

chris and i have been going to laker games for as long as staples center has been around which is nearly 20 years now.

hes been a season ticket holder but last year he was unable to see the playoffs and finals bc all the teams were in the bubble.

this is the first game he has been able to see because its been very limited seating

but he really wanted to go tonight to see them raise the banner to honor their 17th championship

so instead of buying tix super close to the court he bought a pair really high up in the sky so we would be right under the new banner

and there it is.

the Laker girls were up there too to say hi and we are polite so we said hi back

this is what the stadium looked like a few minutes before the ceremony. they say 20% capacity but id say even at its most crowded it was like 10%.

there were people around us a little because everyone wanted to take a pic with the new banner but you could hear the laker girls clap it was so quiet

another thing: you couldnt eat or drink in your seats you could only do it right by where you ordered your food. so that was weird. but fine. it made you chug your beers of which i had two.

they tasted delicious. perhaps because i hardly even drink beer any more?

saw a man who bought shoes where the left was gold and the right was purple.

i asked Chris why he didnt just buy two pairs and he said he didnt know

lakers won a close one.

thanks for the tix, Chris!

did my first girlfriend and i ever sleep together?

like in the same bed?

like as in an overnight date?

no.

we had a few adventures in the back seat of my grandmas cadillac

but we were never in a situation where we could spend the night.

at the time i thought that was tragic.

but really what would have been tragic is if she and i were the only ones that we would have ever felt love to.

im so happy that she was my first girlfriend, and that today is her birthday.

but im glad i got to kiss all the others that came after her.

because they taught me things she could have never.

not because there was anything wrong with her.

but because they were soooo different

and had their own backstories.

today is my first girlfriends birthday

one day we were talking on the phone and she said who in your record collection

is the coolest dude

and i said hendrix

and she said then lets listen.

she lived far away but back then the phone bills weren’t very expensive since

in reality she was only 1 mile away

but it seemed like 20 because we had no cars and the road didnt go like that

it made us go all around a giant farm

so i put the phone next to the record player

and we listened and talked

and now, years later,

jimi has only gotten cooler.