how is anything possible?

how is it that this is even alive?

how is it that im even alive?

do you know the things ive done that i havent written in here?

10 years ago next month i nearly died in vegas, like seriously

and i Believe that life is a nice combo of Free Will and Divine Intervention

i think if God or the angels see that we are doing the right thing or our hearts are good and we make THE WORST CHOICE,

he will look out for us.

and if we are smart we will never make that mistake again.

but i also think God wants us to try things. he wants us to stretch out of our comfort zone.

i believe this for a few reasons: first because it feels good, second because thats how we grow, and third because nearly every great story in the Bible is about people stretching.

and then they are rewarded.

when Abraham listened and nearly sacrificed Isaac, when Noah did the outrageousness by trusting and building a giant ark, when (a disguised) Joseph asked his brothers to go get his younger brother… then theres the disciples who dropped what they were doing to follow Jesus.

they all were rewarded for making those out of the ordinary choices, and in doing so they were leading by example.

none of those things were on the Content Calendar, which is why i dont believe in the Content Calendar.

to me the Content Calendar is for trying to look organized for someone else.

because you dont feel confident in your own job.

trust yourself.

and if you dont feel confident then think about why you are listening to the radio station in your head that’s not playing your favorite songs.

i like to hear those old standards “tony you fucking rule” and “tony omg yes!”

all those sad songs about how im too this or not enough that are wickety wickety wack as kris kross used to say.

im here to be a better version than i was last year, which hopefully was better than the year before

and the only way to do that is to

upgrade.

and that starts in the mind.

a while back i was not allowed to do the job that i was qualified for, in part because the gatekeeper said

i was “too wild west”

it shocked me a little because i have been fighting my whole life to keep my beating heart inside my body

and try to fit in.

meanwhile ive worked around people who had no problem yelling non-pc names at others and doing crazy things.

and watched as they thrived.

fine.

but when this person told me that all i could say was, but my results were wildly good.

and the person could not disagree.

today i was watching church, because, duh, most crazy people like me love the bible. and the sunday school pastor was trying to describe John the Baptist to the kids. she said he was a bit odd in that he wore shirts made of camel hair and ate grasshoppers and bees.

“but when Jesus wanted to get baptized, people thought, who was holy enough to do it?” and voila they thought about how Jesus and John were related and when John was still in his mommas womb, he lept when he heard Mary talk about Jesus.

he was Jesus’s hype man in utero.

often the PR machine, the biggest fan, the fanatic, is not going to be the one who is cool calm and collected

he or she is going to be the one living the dream, talking that talk, walking that walk, truly enraptured in the spirit.

let the CEO or the accountants sit on their hands, but if you’re lucky enough to have someone so committed to what you or your company is all about that they’ll literally lose their head for you

then let that person do his damn thing.

in Jesus’ case it was to baptise him.

and if you remember, when John lived up to his name and baptized Jesus, “Heaven was opened and [Jesus] saw the spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. Then a voice said from heaven, ‘This is my own dear son with whom I am pleased.’”

Sometimes the weirdo is exactly the man for the job.