but what if youre given lemons and you wanna drink rum?

theres absolutely nothing that has inspired me today.

not the boring shit not the exciting shit not the lame shit. the only reason i left the house was to go to the post office and i wanted to write about that on LAist

and i said to myself dude the day you start writing about the post office is the day people stop reading LAist.

this month, due in part, im afraid, to my jaunt around the country is the first month that we wont break a record. that has me a tad depressed but just a tad. and only because ive made that blog my. entire. life. small mistake.

i havent lifted my hood since ive returned to LA which is another mistake im sure. as i know the oil gnomes are leaving just enough earl in there to make me feel comfortable enough to drive a little further than i should.

i turned my cell phone off last night because someone was being annoying and this afternoon i realized i hadnt turned it back on and as soon as i did it started vibrating

and it wasnt the person who i thought it was but it was chris in africa asking how everything was, and i didnt want to tell her that everything wasnt peachy but she could tell

so i said how about we talk on saturday

and theres a reason i never saw shopgirl in the movies. im watching it now on tivo. and its because no matter how many times i go out on dates with girls like claire danes, they never end up naked and quiet in my bed on the second date unless theyre passed out, but there she is naked and quiet on steve martins bed on the second date.

i hate the movies.

i dont want any fucking lemonade.