don’t you get any bad notes or emails from people?

i say, yeah, i just delete them.

she says what about the bad things that people might say about you on other sites?

i say, theres two voices in your head at all times. theres the angel part of you that says, “you can do it. you’re so good. go for it.”

and theres the devil part that says, “you suck so bad you shouldnt even try.”

in my investigation of evil, i think that the purest evil is that little part of your brain that convinces us that we cannot accomplish our goals – as little or as big as they might get. and one way that we can stop that part from growing is to quit listening to the outside forces of negativity.

kirsten says, “so i shouldnt read any of the bad reviews that will come friday when my new movie opens?”

i say, “from losers who have made a career out of retelling plots and giving away the endings of movies? uh, no.”

kirsten says, “but what if they’re right?”

i say, “if they were so smart, they wouldnt be writing for the cleveland plain dealer or Good Morning America or whereever they get paid to comment on what Sam Raami did a year ago, they’d be making their own art. fuck the critics.”

kirsten says, “but you’re a critic.”

i say, “thats right, and when you turn 21 you will become eligible to fuck me. until then read Layne on FoxNews.com write about the anniversary of the LA Riots.”

kirsten says, “why hasn’t he told people on his site that that story is up there on Fox?”

i say, “beats me, probably drunk. or trying to get drunk. or hungover from getting drunk last night.”

kirsten says, “maybe he hasnt been able to get Internet access like what happen to the Welches.”

i say, “naw, probably drunk and snoring right now. probably hiccuping inbetween snores. probably so damn stinking drunk if you lit a match over his mouth you could use his blow hole like a pilot light. probably so smashed…”

kirsten says, “i get the point.”