the nosey neighbor came over last night

i had a package from ups that they had left with her. my mom’s easter basket had finally arrived.

the neighbor likes to chit-chat with me whenever she sees me, which is ok, cuz she’s pretty good-looking, and i try to be a good neighbor.

“pardon me for asking, but i have the strangest feeling that i worked for your mother.” she said.

“i dont see how that’s possible.” i said.

“when i lived in illinois i worked for the loveliest woman who had photographs of her only son, and the boy looked just like that.” she said pointing at a picture of me on my mantle.

i kept quiet.

“Pierce Bros. Mortuary?” she prodded

“Pierce National Life,” i corrected.

“Oh, the woman I worked for was at Pierce Bros. Mortuary.”

i couldnt tell her about the mortuary because sometimes we use it for the xbi, the only reason, i fear in my darker moments, that i was asked to join up.

“why is it that you rarely use your parking space?” she continued. “pardon me for asking, but it’s right next to my deck.”

my phone rings all day. why couldnt it ring then?


“but sometimes i see you drive rental cars?”

“rentacar places dont look at your driving record.” i said.

“i never knew that.”

“glad i could teach you something.” i said.

she invited herself in, i was boiling water for my potatoes. later she asked more questions.

“so are you the only heir to the Pierce National Life fortune?” she asked.

“the money will probably go to my sisters. i like to make my own way.”

“are you making twice baked pork chops?”

“why, yes,” i said.

and then she taught me the secret to making twice baked pork chops.

the secret is lust.

in a constant attempt to reward the daily readers to the busblog,

there will be announcements to concerts on this page as well as links to Ticketmaster. Let me demonstrate:

Ozzy Osbourne brings his hugely successfull Ozzfest tour to Southern California August 31 when it rolls into San Bernardino at the Glen Helen Blockbuster Pavilion. Ozzy will be rocking with System of a Down, Rob Zombie, P.O.D., Drowning Pool, Adema, and Zakk Wylde’s Black Label Society.

The second stage will feature metal supergroup Down, Hatebreed, Meshuggah, and others.

Tickets range in price from $38.50 – $128.75 and go on sale Saturday at noon, pacific.

Although it would have been nice if Chris Cornell and Rage Against the Machine hadn’t pulled out of the gig, the night should be one of the best of the summer.

Click here for ticket information for Ozzfest shows going on in cities near you!

New to the busblog, for your convienence are links to Amazon for the hottest books, cds and dvds. i got an email from a faithful reader who said that people buy these books and cds and they may as well buy them through me and stoke the Snoop Fund, and i thought that she was right, so you will see Tony’s Book Club updated weekly. And I assure you that consuming these products will make you cooler, and getting them from me will increase your karma seven fold. unless you wish to decrease your karma, in which case, it will do that for you instead.

And daily, or semi-daily, you will be privy to “Cheater Scrabble Words,” two- and three-letter words that will help increase your Scrabble scores. Many champion Scrabble players use these tiny words but dont know their definitions, therefore, cheating, in my book. I will not only provide the words, but the definitions, thus stoking you in magical ways, just like you stoke me by being here.

And even though it has been requested by people other than just Eric’s wife, there will be no photo galleries of moi, other than my secret photo album. There are far more beautiful things to look at on your computer screen other than my tortured soul and thats why i post all the pretty pictures of things other than my dull dough.