what happened today in california is the answer for what will happen in chicago later this month.

today we learned, more than ever, that anything is possible.

that it doesnt matter if you talk funny, or look funny, or have a freaky looking wife. it doesnt matter if you have no experience whatsoever, and it doesnt matter if your poppi was a nazi.

likewise it doesnt matter if you give up nine runs in the first game of a best of seven series, tonight we were reminded that anything can happen.

a bodybuilder is the new governor of my state.

i dont know why im surprised, a used car salesman is the commissioner of baseball.

life isnt fair.

if life was fair i wouldnt be buying condoms in bulk off ebay.

or getting marriage proposals in my email.

if life was fair the lakers wouldnt have shaq malone payton george and fisher on the court right now, with mj thinking about calling it a comeback.

in some ways im very happy about what happened in california politics today, because it will mean that ones past doesnt matter And if one doesnt have any ideas that doesnt matter either. it doesnt matter if a candidate is an admitted pot smoker, orgist, or womanizer.

it doesnt matter if a guys dad is a storm trooper, his wife is a democrat, or that he is a rotten actor

all that matter is that when you run

run republican

and everything will be forgiven.

cubs will be back tomorrow and they wont give up nine runs again.

and the fairy tale will go back to chicago

where it belongs.

katie hall + chuck olsen + pvr blog

im supposed to be supporting the red sox, the only losers almost as loveable as my cubbies, but you know what, fuck the red sox.

yes it was exciting, their series with the a’s, but it was sloppy as hell. so sloppy there shoulda been a disclaimer for any little leaguer to look away in fear that they might see the ugliness on the field disguised as the national pasttime.

i say fuck the sox because theyre not going to beat the yankees playing the way that they did versus the a’s.

i say fuck the sox because for being the leagues best hitting team they barely hit anything against an oakland staff that was short one ace.

and fuck byung-hyun kim for flipping off the good people of boston when they dared boo his boo-worthy korean ass.

you think the new dork damnkees arent eating this shit up?

i say fuck the sox because i need the sox to get focused and quit stumbling around like they dont know how to get shit done. i need to see 6-7 run innings, and dont think im not pissed at the cubs for leaving the bases full, but the sox dont even get the bases full unless theyre in the field and walking people in the bottom of the ninth.

the champions of the world will not be the ones who load up the bases with walks. i dont care how crappy your bullpen is.

and this buisness of using your converted starter who used to be your closer as a closer again in the last inning of a playoff game? try that shit with the bronx bombers. i will promise you this, my friends, they will not watch the ball go over the plate time and time again like oakland. not soriano, not giambi, not bernie, not hideki. those motherfuckers take their cuts and you know this boston. you of all people know this.

i want you to take out the yankees early. you need to knock their pitchers out quick. i want to see some bench clearing brawls, hard outs at second, brushback pitches and some serious sign-stealing.

call sammy corky all you want, but romeys right, if youre not cheating youre not trying, and i gasp every time sammy breaks his bat but we all know thats not the way hes gonna cheat anymore.

i want that knuckleball pitcher of yours to put some spit on that shit. i want your catcher to have sandpaper in his mitt. i want your designated hitter to wack posada in the nads with an errant back swing.

thats how youre going to beat the yankees my friends from the northeast.

or youre going to have to stop playing like wicked sallies.

and whoever thought of that gay ass “cowboy up” needs some beer thrown at him.

utter wonder + sk smith + obey pedro

He doesnt have to prove it by letting me see the cubs win the world series in my lifetime again. but im very grateful that He is.

He knows i dont have a good job, or a car, or any money.

He knows that the girls who take a number at the gates of the beachhouse cant give me the pure satisfaction of baseball in rocktober at wrigley.

He knows that the marlins aint shit, even with dontrelle, or the speedsters at the top of the order, or pudge, or the senior citizen manager who will always be known as trader jack.

i know He loves me or else He wouldnta let me live to be 109 years old so i could see the fall of the republican party, the drug bust of rush limbaugh, and the return of rock led by my favorite band Tsar.

the last time the cubs won the world series i was 14 years old. tinker to evers to chance.

chance was my favorite.

games cost a penny.

kids got in for a half pence.

kid could get a half pence in ’08 for shining a guys shoes or by watching a guys horse while he got drunk in a saloon or by selling a few newspapers at the corner.

back in the 70s it skyrocketed to 3 bucks to sit in the bleachers. i forgot about that until john cusack reminded us all on tv the other day. and i remember that now so well.

ten bucks and you could get a bleacher seat, a dog, a beer, and still have money left over to chip in for another beer with your buddies or a scorecard or some peanuts.

now the bleacher seats are twenty five bucks.

twenty five bucks to sit on a bench.

and you know what, id pay thirty, and the Lord knows this because He loves me, and i love Him.

these ninety five years havent been so miserable. ’84 was bad, but that was about it. and ’69. but its cool.

the Lord blessed us with harry and jack brickhouse and don kessinger, ron santo, and ernie and billie and sutter and kingman and jose cardenal and ivan dejesus and my buddy jody davis.

He blessed us with ryno and sutcliffe and bull durham and gracey and now with sammy and kerry and mr. mark prior.

and today He is blessing us with the likes of the most interesting cub hurler, senor carlos zambrano.

who points up to the Lord and gives thanks and prays ceaselessly.

just like ive been doing the whole playoffs, and every night, and in this post.

please Lord let the Cubs win tonight at wrigley field.

the closest slice of Heaven next to my true loves arms.

amen.

linda + ewan + missed web

i never thought i would feel that way about someone i dont even know. not even remotely know.

worst part is i wouldn’t even know that she was dead.

just one day her site would stop getting updated.

then it would never update again.

and poof.

gone.

she probably thinks that i wouldn’t care, but i would.

her absence would make a difference.

people dont understand that they affect others, even by being dumb. even by being great. even if all they ever do is whine every day. for some of us, we dont look at it as whining.

some of us look at it as saying, hi, i live in the valley.

thats what i see when i read her site.

i also hear, hi, im cool. even though i bitch a lot, im gonna fly to a foreign land and be cool over there.

i like that she listens to pretty good music.

lots of girls dont. lots of girls listen to the crap made for them: john mayer, ben folds, counting crows, kenny g, twisted sister, linkin park, the offspring.

girls have different brains though. its been studied. i imagine their brains hear things differently, which explains the terrible music that they will buy.

splink likes good music. i will miss her if she ends it all. i will be sad that we never met. i will be sad that she didn’t teach me how to take pictures properly. i will be sad that we didn’t get to go to scandinavia together.

i will be sad that i wouldn’t be able to invite her to sizzler.

it would be a joke invite cuz im pretty sure she would despise sizzler.

i would say it the way they do in the commercials though, like a whisper.

i would say, splinky wanna go to

and then i would whisper.

sizzzzzzlah?

and she would give me the finger-down-the-throat gagging motion which would lead to a barf contest which i would win.

cuz you cant lose to a girl.

ever.

if her life is the way she writes it to be, i can easily say that it is the most unique life ive ever read about on the world wide web. if what shes been saying is true, its been nice to see her overcome her eating problems, cuz it cant be an easy thing to be working with.

if she died today or tomorrow i would be sad that i wasnt a good friend to her.

even if all i was was a cyber friend who would link her as often as i could to turn people on to what she has to say and how she says it.

yes, i would be sad if her dark twisted humor was no more.

cuz all i would think is, the fuckin devil won this round

not good.

flagrant disregard

time, but he’s just jealous of their popularity, gorgeousness, and wealth.

sad thing about snipers out there is theyre so sad. this guy is trying to appear cooler-than-thou with his mommy’s thesaurus, but people who hide behind three dollar words usually dont have anything to say in the first place.

and after careful examination of his digs at the chicks, basically his only gripe is that theyre being… girls.

the madpony page doesnt need any defense from the busblog. it’s fine on its own. and it figures that the dude doesnt give a link to his blog because hes probably got some very shameful things on there.

what worries me is that one of the thousands of readers to madponys site might reconsider making their own blog one day in fear that asswipes like bro might come out of the woodwork as soon as their site starts getting popular.

all i can tell you, bloggers-to-be, is that the world does have its fair share of dipshits, and theyre bound to come at you when people like blogger list you as something Good. my advice is to ignore them. dont link them. dont call them by name.

if they leave something wack in your comments, delete it right away. ban them if you can. especially if they dont have a blog.

i hate snipers.

snipers are gutless and it doesnt suprise me that this one is picking on girls.

snipers dont realize that even if what they are saying is true for them, most of the times its done rudely, and that sort of classlessness might turn off an otherwise important blogger.

he lies and says that hes reading Plath. what if she lived today? what if she was a young woman who wanted to play around with this idea of writing, and what if she saw the annoying abuse dumbasses like snipers do to innocent people.

i bet she wouldnt make her writing public and might even stop writing all together. both which would be a huge loss to the blogging community, the web, and to people who seriously do like to read good writing.

now, are the madpony girls churning out plath? no. and theyre not trying to. theyre trying to be light and fun. and theyre succeeding.

what snipers dont think about, cuz they dont think, is that madpony’s readers are the ones that the negative crap influences. kristin and lauren are confident, together girls with a great family, and obviously the brains to know that morons will take easy shots at them for 1) being in a sorority (heavens!) 2) having a horse (sinners!) 3) being “rich” (since thats a crime) 4) being hot (if only we all had those problems) and 5) being popular (something dude probably has never experienced, which is why his best friend’s name is roget).

the sad thing is there are young people out there who dont have half of those things going for them who want some of those things but will be afraid to write about their lives honestly in fear that dillweeds will try to make them feel bad for being themselves.

interesting that he didnt go after me.

probably knew hed get destroyed.

oh well, keep picking fights with highschoolers and sorority girls, dude.

when you make your way to men, let me know.

in the meantime, if you want to be helpful, not that anyone is asking for help, but send an email. otherwise you out yourself as being the ass that you’re coming off as being.

<3 madpony <3

and since i know that everyone in major league baseball reads the busblog, you both better listen up.

personally i dont care which one of you wins because youre american leaguers and i poop on you and your girlie dh rule.

but which ever one of you wins you MUST beat the yankees and heres why.

my heart is with the red sox, and specificially their fans. if theres anyone who understands the plight of sox fans, its cub fans who have had it hard, but not as painful as you because you have gotten closer and youve had to deal with the f’in yankees the whole time.

but if the red sox beat the a’s and lose to the yankees, i will hate the red sox, maybe forever.

let me explain.

the cubs are going to the world series. done deal. case closed. game over. no frickin fish, no black guys named pierre, and no 72 year old manager are going to get in the way of dustiny.

so i want either the red sox to get in there so that one of us can end our curse, or i want the a’s to win so i can rent a car and drive up to oaktown and be there when the cubs deliver to all of us which is rightfully ours: total mlb dominance.

if the red sox win and then lose to the yankees, i will put the curse of the busblog on the sox. sorry, but it will have to be done.

if the billy beane a’s win and lose to the yankees, i will put the curse of the busblog on the a’s.

again, im sorry, but i get serious when we’re talking about the cubs in the world series.

i might have to quit my job.

i might have to move to chicago for a little while.

i might have to continue to lose my mind.

but whoever wins this afternoons game must beat the yankees. do you hear me? do you hear me now?

whoever wins, must continue to win, until they play the cubs in the world series THEN you are allowed to lose.

good luck.

play ball.

mc brown + matt welch + ken layne

but kerry wood just ensured tonight that this will be tonypierce.com + cubsblog for at least one more week. and all signs point to it lasting a little longer than even that.

the cubs beat the atlanta braves tonight, euros. i know you dont understand what that means. lots of my readers dont. and on a deeper level, im not sure what it means.

i think it has something to do with dreams coming true. with paradises being found. with the longest drought in professional sports ending.

the right way.

not with hundred million dollar contracts to free agents, or fancy dancy trick plays, or intimidation, but with good draft picks who turn into superstars, established stars gotten from trades, and beginning and midseason pick-ups that have fit their roles perfectly.

led by a manager who was so close to victory last year im sure he could taste it.

and then it floated away with the angels.

whats going on in america and specifically in chicago is something thats so special that i cant even believe it. i dont even know what day it is im so blown away. after the game today i looked at the clock and i saw numbers but it took a minute for them to be relevant to anything. i didnt know if it was day time or night time. summer winter or spring.

what does eight three zero mean to you in a vaccum?

67. moxie

the cubs went down to georgia and won the first round of the playoffs just like they were supposed to do: with strong pitching, solid hitting, and so-so relief.

it was business as usual, textbook, according to plan.

nothing bad happened that shouldnt have happened to derail the party train to victory.

not even the miscalled force out that was really a triple-play.

whatev, the cubs werent going to be distracted by their date with dontrelle. cool heads prevailed, they got out of the inning within seconds, and all was good thanks to wood.

but still it feels trippy.

i imagine its the same feeling that a caged bird gets when its released for the first time. hes probably saying, well everything still looks the same, but im sure somethings different.

whats different is the perennial losers of baseball are winning and winning and winning. they won in april and may. they won alot of the summer and they won in the fall.

they won the games they needed to win during the last month of the season, and now they just won three games in the playoffs meaning now they only have to beat the florida marlins in a best of seven game series and they will get to go to the world series.

not only are they the most loveable losers in sport, but they are my favorite team, the baseball club of my youth, and the love of my life.

last week i was asked by a big time editor of a website that if i told you the name of youd recognize immediately. she said that since i didnt get my dream job, that she would like to talk with me about a few things. she said, via email that wednesday of last week after work would be a good time to meet.

i wrote her back and politely told her no thank you because the cubs were playing in the playoffs on wednesday and the people who i work with gasped because the xbi isnt fun, and its very dangerous, and this website would be a great fit for me if the correct job was going to be offered.

and i had to explain to my friends that the cubs just arent any team, and i didnt just have a passing relationship with them. and then i told them the priorities of my life.

1. God

2. my mother

3. the health and safety of my penis

4. the chicago cubs

after 95 years of losing, even after the cubs won tonight, i was very calm, because as a cubfan you just dont get your hopes up. something terrible is sure to happen.

and euros, this cub team isnt a perfect one. it has its weaknesses. the relief pitchers are pretty bad, the catchers sorta suck, the third baseman fucks up a lot, and the hero of the team hasnt done all that much heroic in a little while.

so we walk into the next round of the playoffs with respect and measured excitement poisoned with pessimism.

it’s like discovering that the prettiest girl at school thinks youre cute. it doesnt make any sense. you think to yourself, any minute shes going to snap out of it, so when she lets you kiss her you try to soak in every second. if she lets you take a picture you ask her if you can take a hundred. you dont want to ever forget this improbable dream coming true.

especially to undeserving you.

especially now when you were least expecting it.

its eleven thirty pm and im exausted. due in part to not being able to go to sleep last night till 6am wondering if kerry wood really could shut down the braves, a team that won 105 games in the regular season including 6 of 8 against the cubs. the television just goes blahblahblah. everythings background noise. to the miracle thats taking place right under our very noses.

i cant imagine a more wonderful picture than the one accompanying todays post.

if i could be anywhere today it would be on the corner of clark and addison

telling you all about it.

but what id probably be saying is

fuck

like it aint no thing

about arnold’s dad being a nazi police chief, and about arnold’s unrepentant attitude toward his friendship with nazi war criminal kurt waldheim which included an invitation to his and marias wedding, and now this business about arnold saying on film that he admired adolf hitler who had nazi ties of some sort if i recall.

i think im overreacting because i don’t see any negative reaction from the jewish residents of california. and you’d think if anyone had a problem with a son of a nazi leading the california governors race who invited a nazi war criminal to his wedding and later would praise hitler, it would be gypsies, homosexuals, and the jewish people.

but the only negative reaction i seem to see out there is from me.

and talk about strange bedfellows, but our boy drudge, while doing a beautiful job of not even mentioning rush limbaughs drug scandal on his front page today, sure seems willing to do whatever it takes to make sure his readers are turned off to the austrian muscleman.

could the repubs see arnold in office as more of a disaster for their party in their double edge sword of the coup d’etat of the golden state that theyve so slickly performed before our very eyes?

the party of lincoln is unfortunately better known as the party of nixon and duke and falwell and buchanan nowadays. so is drudge saying that his puppetmasters are not interested in being the party of the son of a nazi who gropes women?

certainly matt drudge understands that the groping part might be, strangely enough, more damaging to the republican party since they just spent the better part of the nineties convincing america that cigar smoking politicians with throbbing libidos are bad and should be impeached.

still, my jewish friends intrigue me. i admire their willingness to forgive, but why accept arnolds $750k? with sincere respect, is that the going price if your dad was a storm trooper and you want to say sorry?

i wouldn’t want his money.

i would want him to say that he denounces all nazi war criminals including the one(s) on his wedding invitation list.

i would want him to quit trying to be cute, and instead of lying and saying that he didn’t remember the things hes said in the past, own up to it and say, yes i did say i admired hitler, it came out wrong, i was just learning english, but listen to me now, the man was a monster and nothing about him is admirable.

instead he says creepy things like “where there’s smoke threes fire.”

if i was republican i would ask him to withdraw from the race

hes a black eye in the making.

and if i was a democrat i would vote for him.

even the towel boy knows the that worst thing for the grand old party right now is the potsmoking husband of a kennedy with absolutely no political experience, closets buldging with skeletons, driveways full of hummers, and a nightmare of a budget and energy crisis awaiting him hungry like a wolf, claiming to be republican.

which might be why the lowblow artist is attacking the poor mans wife.