.. america’s favorite blogging sisters, the madpony girls, havent updated their blog in over a month!

so much must have happened since Lauren, aka, shewhoneverposts, reviewed the unforgettable Nick and Jessica Variety Hour on 4/13, and the world is dying to find out.

– did kristin decide to move back into the sorority house?

– did lauren accept the offer to go to the junior prom with Pookie, the new kid from South Central, or did she take the easy way out and go with the captain of the wrestling team?

– whats up with Bugsy, and how many ribbons have they won since last time?

– is Kristin‘s new boyfriend really the former drummer of the Flaming Lips, or is that just a rumor?

– what does Lauren think of Smarty Jones? Does she think he can win the triple crown?

– is dadpony counting the days until both his girls have left the stable and he and mompony can finally enjoy the house to themselves minus phones constantly rining, doors being slammed, and internet connections being used?

– what are the newest trends in footwear?

– what were their insights on the new comedy “Mean Girls”?

– but most pressing: why have the girls completely turned their tanned-backsides on their adoring readers? do they suggest that we all do the same? is it better on the other side? is real life more fulfilling than this virtual shadowdance?

inquiring minds not only want to know, but we need to know.

dare i say, we demand to know.

just as i typed this post, i found laurenpony online.

she was getting ready for work but was able to say a few words for this Exclusive Interview, so rest your fears, shes alive and apparently so is her sister.

dumbme: young ponygirl

lauren: hihi

dumbme: i miss your blog so

dumbme: please promise to write on it when youre done with your schooling

lauren: haha okay that will be next yr

dumbme: no no this spring

lauren: okay perhaps

lauren: its k’s turn to write a post

dumbme: speaking of which, tell your sister to call me when she gets off her handsome beau

lauren: ok lol

sean bonner + votexia + jon henke took the honest blogger quiz, you should too!

an interesting post about “blogging burnout” that the instapundit linked today which i whole-heartedly agree with.

so many people think they’re these great writers, or they aspire to be great writers, or they think theyre intellectual, or they think they know something about politics, sex, sport, music, or debate, and when it comes time to rock the mic day after day they fall flat on their face.

some complain that they dont want to “give it away for free” on the web but those people are making excuses for even whores come home and have real sex after they clock out. so f the lying liars who are probably procrastinating pros when they do get paid to steal my ideas.

the interenet and the web and blogging is ideal for the real writer and the real reader. i would argue that the real writer is also a great reader, and theres nothing better to read than the web, so i would partially disagree with mr. cowen when he writes that blogging cuts into his time reading, because i assume he is saying it cuts into his book-reading time, which i would argue is being replaced with web-reading, which is also reading. but what do i know.

heres one reason i will probably never experience blogger burnout.

cuz i know that there are no rules on the web other than dont be dull.

which means you can type things like this:

i am in the best fucking mood right now and its only eight fifty eight am on sunday morning.

7. The “Master Bloggers,” whoever you think those may be, are strange in the first place. mr. cowen writes. and i would tend to agree. although i dont get enough hits to consider myself a master blogger, i admit to being strange in the first place. and prolific is just a polite way to say obsessive in the same way reclusive is a nice way to say shut-in, the same way eccentric is just a spin on saying rich ‘n’ crazy. although no one ever calls james brown, mike tyson, or michael jackson eccentric so maybe it doesnt apply if youre black (or were black).

heres when you will experience “blogger burnout”:

1. when your internal dialogue gets hijacked by your concerns about what your readers will think.

2. when you are afraid to write down what you are truly thinking about at that moment.

3. when you believe the lie that some people just arent capable of good writing.

4. when you believe the lie that there is a certain way that you “should” write anything.

5. when you get more involved in punctuation, spelling, or aestetics than saying what you want to say.

6. when you get caught up in traffic, hits, popularity, readers, and/or fame.

7. when you believe the lie that what you think doesnt matter.

8. when you believe the lie that what youre about to say has been said before and/or written down better.

9. when you forget that most ideas can be expressed in less than 15 minutes.

10. when you dont set aside a little bit of time each day to update your blog.

if your blog feels more like a “have to” instead of a “get to” youre writing about the wrong things.

perhaps the only thing going through your mind is the hottie at work who you want to bang, but you fucked up and you told this person about your blog, and therefore you are experiencing writers block because you cant think of anything else to say or think about.

its at this time that you should thank blogger.com for allowing unlimited amounts of free blogs.

i suggest that you set up a new blog called www.iwannabonethisonehottie.blogspot.com and get it off your chest.

and dont be suprised that once you get it all out over there, then you will return to your original blog re-focused and ready to rock, and lo and behold not only are you cured of the lie that is blogger burnout, but just the opposite, now you have two rockin blogs, and the newer one is probably better, cuz its more honest.

dc thorton + blow hard + daily pundit all had the guts to take the honest bloggers quiz… do you?

1. which political party do you typically agree with? green

2. which political party do you typically vote for? democrat

3. list the last five presidents that you voted for? nader, clinton, clinton, bush, reagan

4. which party do you think is smarter about the economy? democrat

5. which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? democrat

6. do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? pull them out now.

7. who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? obl and the saudis.

8. do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in iraq? yes, ours.

9. yes or no, should the u.s. legalize marijuana? hell yes.

10. do you think the republicans stole the last presidental election? yep.

11. do you think bill clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with monica lewinski? no.

12. do you think hillary clinton would make a good president? yes.

13. name a current democrat who would make a great president: hillary

14. name a current republican who would make a great president: mccain

15. do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? yes.

16. what religion are you? Christian.

17. have you read the Bible all the way through? yes.

18. what’s your favorite book? Cruddy by Linda Barry.

19. who is your favorite band? tsar

20. who do you think you’ll vote for president in the next election? Kerry.

21. what website did you see this on first? tonypierce.com + busblog

atrios + instapundit + welch

by tony pierce.

met a girl at work today who’s pretty hot. shit, theyre all hot at work. fucked up and read my review again today. weird how in the heat of the moment you’re skimming so much the words jump at you and the details get lost. on one hand it was a worse review than i thought but on the other hand it was better because so much is completely wrong and unprovable. and the rest is totally provable. why do i care? why do i stay? am i really staying for the chicks? god i hope not.

last night somehow miss montreal became more beautiful than ever. maybe it was cuz i mixed her a marguerita and chilled out. my negative vibes affected her in a terrible way and for the first time, maybe ever, we didnt bone, and i was invited more than once. i know, gay. maybe tomorrow she’ll let me make it up to her. writing isnt what i do best.

but today, its all we’ve got.

so lets rock.

sammy is hurt, kerry is hurt, everyone is hurt. im coughing for no good reason. im not sick. i havent been sick in years. i think its the pollen. i think its the stress. i think its the pressure.

people talk a lot of shit and youd think at some point i would be prepared for it. youd think by aging you get used to it. but weirdly i dont get used to it. maybe because its the longer that i live the more cool people i meet, and therefore the not-so-cool people stick out more, and you think… sorry I think “why cant you be cool like this one?”

when i was younger i thought that once i grew up there would be two things that i would do more. i thought i would go to church three times a week. and i thought that i would go sit at my neighborhood bar every day after work. i do neither of these things.

good part is, i get laid far more than i ever expected. even more than i thought i would 5 years ago. im not sure why thats happening other than murphys law. im also happier being alone than i ever thought. bizzare.

i know a lot of younger kids read this. im sorry that i always forget about you. im sorry that i dont tell you the lessons from the other side. so heres one: rock out with your cock out till youre 30. then worry about wife career car baby lifeinsurance bullshit. then rock out for 5 more years.

if you vote republican before youre 35 youre a loser and a tool. remember that. vote green at least once on every trip to the voting booth. i dont care for what. president if you have to, but if you dont do it youre a sellout and a fool and borderline unamerican.

but always remember that if i stop loving you, Jesus never will.

so read the Bible, give to the poor, and quit driving beemers.

your pal,

dumbass

miceland + flagrant + gorilla mask

tonight 5/21

death cab for cutie, wiltern

donavon, troubador

arrested development, hollywood park ($1 beers)

train, roxy

styx + peter frampton, universal

brian sezter trio & the blasters, rusty’s surf ranch

sat 5/22

james brown + etta james + keb mo’, doheny music festival

AC/DShe, spaceland

dirty dozen brass band, amoeba

sun 5/23

los lobos + robert cray + lucinda williams + john mayall, doheny music festival

cat power, troubador

jj cale, mccabes

king’s x, house of blues

mon 5/24

cat power, troubador

madonna, forum

tues 5/25

wilson phillips, santa monica pier (free – tix at tower records)

tenacious d w/jack black, the improv

dido, wiltern

HR, club lingerie

madonna, forum

wed 5/26

jill sobule, largo

dido, wiltern

thurs 5/27

joey mcintire, knitting factory

johnny winter, house of blues

rhino bucket, club vodka

madonna, the pond

sarah + chokey chicken + ten gallon hat

about your stupid little blog.

thats what happened this morning and it worked like a charm.

nothing i like to talk about more than the cubs. and when i cant do that, talking about blogging and the web and the busblog comes in a close second.

the paper hadnt heard of me and im not sure how they got my name on their list but they did and im grateful and im stoked and if i make it in there in the next few weeks or whenever it comes out i will be sure to let you know.

the reporter was great. he was very knowledgeable about the blogosphere and seemed to recognize all the names that i gave him like the instapundit and makeoutcity and some of the others who i recommend that he should also talk to.

but then came the uncomfortable moment when he asked me my age.

as a former college journalist, i understand the need to say stuff like Tony Pierce, 79, from Hollywood California runs the busblog…

so i explained to the fella that i dont reveal my age because age shouldnt matter when it comes to writing on the web. people shouldnt be judged by anything other than their writing. i tried to explain that i didnt know that SE Hinton was a chick when i read those books and that was part of her plan. i tried to explain that JD Salinger didnt like pictures on the covers of his book because he wanted people to just read the stories and have the stories tell the story.

similiarilly it might distract people if they found out that indeed i was 16 years old in the same way that it might confuse them if it turned out that i was truly 110 years old.

like ive said before, theres lots of experiments going on in this blog and one of them is the age thing. i want people to like the posts or the blogs solely on what they read and not because im black, live in hollywood, voted for clinton, or root for the cubs.

its idealistic as fuck, but whatev, hopefully people could deal.

and the only thing that would give me a brighter smile would be if one day someone would write, Tony Pierce, 110, writes his busblog from the closet of his hollywood cabana…

the other thing he asked me about was where i worked.

since i didnt have time to explain what the xbi was, i had to say, “just write that i work in an office in hollywood.”

hopefully those two things wont ruin my chances for a nice mention in the paper since my mom would be so happy if she saw my name in print in such a fine journal of american daily news.

p.s. thanks to all of you who said nice things in my last few posts

kool keith + true + unfogged

the answer is yes.

he wants to know if its the job thats making me this way.

the answer is a reluctant yes.

and as dumb as it might sound, its also the web and the president and iraq and politics and the fact that some people just cant let go of this two-party system where if their guy completely fucks up they wont let themselves admit it publicly.

i dont think that anyone can make me sad. or anything.

i believe that we decide for ourselves how we want to feel about something.

yesterday i got a damaging review about my performance at work. of course they were wrong, but still it hurt, i felt disrespected, i felt insane, i felt wronged, i felt like the little room i was sitting in had no concept of reality.

at that point i could choose a variety of emotions, and i chose to just be resigned to the fact that i work in a place where in these reviews people feel like they cant give you high scores if you really are very good at certain things, but they can give you very low scores, in fact the lowest score possible, if they feel like it.

on one hand they told me that i have improved this year, but on paper i was given the lowest score possible in an important category. meanwhile they were saying that they wanted me to continue to grow within the company because there is a future for me there that they want me to be a part of.

ive never seen such mixed messages.

but the only one i could see was that score in that one area.

the lowest score possible.

and i told a beautiful girl and she offered to take me to my favorite chinese restaurant and she picked me up at work but i wasnt feeling it so i asked her to take me home. so we went home and ate cold leftover pizza. the whole time i just wanted to cry. but i cant cry. theres something inside me that always stops me from crying. she even opened her arms and said, please cry with me. but come on. a man cry infront of a woman?

so we slept together and didnt make lust, didnt fool around, didnt do anything but sleep early and wake up early. and here i am up early and writing. the only thing that really makes me happy consistantly.

i need a new job in the worst way and the thing about this spectacularilly obscene review is it might just be the motivating factor to get me out of this little three year employment rut that i have allowed myself to be a part of.

last night this girl said that she might have to stop dating me because it kills her to see me, the smartest person she has ever met (her words), suffer for no reason. the pay is ridiculously low, the work is dangerous and emotional and retarded, and the pace is so fast that i barely have any time to take my two government mandated 15 minute breaks, never mind a full hour for lunch.

still i tried to explain to her that out of all of that ugliness is where the busblog was created and where it has flourished.

put a seed in the stinkiest of shit and watch it grow fast and huge and strong and wild.

and with that she kissed me and begged me to take her. but i couldnt.

i had to write. i had to get something out. i had to publicly explain that when we let these things bother us we are listening to the little demons in our head who right now are joined in the chant of lowest score possible lowest score possible.

i am as competitive as one could be without being annoying. it kills me that im not in the technorati top 100. but i know that i havent done the things necessary to get there.

one of the things i know that i, sadly, have to do to get there is write more politics. the stupid little truth about popularity on the web, and hits and links, is that in order to proceed up the ladder you have to gain the attention and links of those already on the ladder.

but those on the ladder are mostly right-wingers talking about the news and politics and they would much rather link like-minded right-wingers and pretty girls than anything else.

lord knows that i would be a lock for the technorati top 20 if i just threw in the towel and joined in on the george bush blowjob competition like the others because i write better than most of those jagoffs, i bring it harder, and i say it in a way that they could never.

what makes me sad is that some of those who i respect dont even want to discuss the other side in an interesting way. they dont even want to acknowledge that the president’s uncle is a saudi money launderer who might be directly responsible for money that got to the 9/11 terrorists.

and i can understand why they dont want to bring something like that up. in theory.

i can understand the sort of pressure 150,000 hits a day means to your email inbox and your blogad revenue stream and your opportunities for more and better and richer and etc.

and i can also understand the desire for others to want to get some of those hits sent their way. agree with the top 40 and they will shower you with readers and some of those readers may stay and some of those readers might click your stupid ads and some of that might turn into a few sheckles and some of that might turn into your shit getting more popular.

if theres one lesson i can teach you in the last year of writing the busblog is this: do not kiss the ass of those on the right, stick to your guns, write what you believe to be the truth, and your hits, except for the rare exceptions, will not go above 1,000 a day.

unless youre wil wheaton.

and it’s not because most of the planet are conservatives. and its not because most of the people who get the big hits are such great writers. its because the majority of the hits come during 9am-5pm and the majority of people who can surf the web for news and politics have jobs where they sit in front of a computer and have the freedom to surf, and my belief is most of those people are white-collared conservatives who dont want to hear that the emperor has no clothes.

so yes, matt, i have been a little sad lately but i plan on feeling better within minutes.

i appreciate your concern.

daily pundit + subverted reality + matt

so you think they would have given me a break in my yearly performance review but they didnt.

if there are any prospective employers out there who are considering hiring me, know that there is a lot of stuff that i could write about the hour that i just spent

funny things

sad things

incredibly curious things that would have you scratching your head thinking, “why on earth does pierce put up with that?”

things that made me seriously consider crying tonight,

despite getting my annual $300 raise.

no, the xbi isnt for everyone, and it really isnt for me any more. and even though it could be huge blog fodder full of interesting characters, fascinating situations, and deep deep insights into hollywood i will not be typing about it.

why?

because i think that there is something to be said about pissing where you eat. not that im afraid that i will lose my job. “losing” this job would be the best thing that could happen to me at this point of my life. tantamount to losing a tumor. losing a tapeworm. losing 20 pounds.

call it idealism but i think that what is done and said in the privacy of a closed door meeting should be kept private for the benefit of all parties.

unless of course the screenplay could be sold for millions.

which this one could.

especially if i wrote it.

which of course i could.

cuz its funny and bizarre and twisted and real and probably what lots of you go through every day.

but today isnt bitch about the xbi day.

today is celebrate big tanky’s birthday day.

which im fixin to do with this hot cuban girl reading peacefully on my black leather couch.

and in the morning i will do something i havent done in three years.

i will go to the corner, get a paper

and go straight to the classifieds.

and start living up to my potential.

at the ripe old age

of 110.

happy birthday big tanky, i hope today finds you happy, healthy, and drunk.

atrios linked my thing about the instapundit after brian linse did, and i thank them both.

if i hate america so much why dont i move to canada.

it makes me wonder why only idiots have my gmail address.

for the rest of you its busblog at gmail dot com.

but they do have a good point. canada has basically legalized weed, theres free medical, and i assume free dental. they dont run around blowing people up who they are trying to “liberate”. and they’re close enough to america that if you need to see a concert you can just make a little road trip.

unfortunately for my detractors, i was born here. infact i was born in the nations capital.

i grew up in the midwest and ive lived in california for my entire adulthood.

as an african-american, my “people” have been here for around 400 years.

if anyone should move away, which is rarely the solution, it shouldnt be me.

plus i dont want to have to learn a foreign language.

although i wouldnt mind having raymi as a neighbor.

i got a very nice comment from a canadian who said that he wanted to write something about the current american political situation but he didnt feel that it was his place.

my neighbors to the north, consider this an open invitation: any time you want to add to the discussion about how you feel about whats happening in the world, particularilly whats happening in america or america’s influence on the world, feel free.

although you people arent blessed with the same freedom of speech that we are granted, pretend that you can say anything. consider this blog a small portion of america and as a guest here you are entitled, nay, requested, to throw in your two cents.

or pesos.

or whatever you people up there use for money.

if anything you are a better judge of whats happening since you’re not biased.

canada’s fucked no matter which president steals the next election. just look what america has done to the health of pam, michael j., and tom green.

raptor blog + raymi + three bed two bath