home computer?

yes, it’s me, tony.

but you look so different!

i do? do you like? i got a new body.

a new body?

a new case.


do you love it?

i love it.

did you miss me?

very much, personal home computer. very much!

i heard you nearly cried yesterday when you found out i wasnt ready.


thats sweet.

sick is more accurate.

we’ll i missed you tony. i thought i was dead meat when my power supply blew.

i dont even want to think about it.

promise that you’ll burn all this good shit on these hard drives.

i promise.

promise that you’ll start busting with some new photo essays now that you can download your pictures and use your dreamweaver.

i promise, computer.

promise that you’ll post more of your answering machine messages. everyone loves those.

k, promised.

do you know what it feels like to be unplugged? sitting there cold in a strange place? dogs and babies licking you? do you know how weird it is not to be in your little closet listening to all that great music, listening to the television, listening to the girls who come over?

no girls come over.

oh thats right, we’re lying in this blog? fine then, no girls come over.

hey man, it was just as hard for me. do you know how hard it is to have your mind zipping around with ideas after a hard day from mindnumbing “work” but all you can do is sit on the couch like a tool and flip through the mindnumbing programming that passes for entertainment on the television?

dude, i was unplugged.


it’s worse, admit it.

i just did.

say it.

it was worse! whatever computer!

have you seen my lights?


yeah, blow out the candles.


i know.

thats too much.



promise that you’ll start writing about the cubs again.

they won today.

did they?

yes, in extra innings. latroy hawkins blew the lead in the bottom of the ninth. but they rallied in the bottom of the tenth.

how did sammy look?

not so fresh.

im worried about him.

you should, bro is hurtin, he’s only batting .258

do you think its cuz hes not on the juice this year?

gotta be. plus he broke his bat in the ninth. it splintered into three parts and i nearly had a heart attack.

latroy hawkins, now thats a great name.

it is.

i like that name. it’s ghetto.

ghetto’s good?

ghetto’s real good.

well, welcome back computer.

it’s good to be back, tony.

i promise to take better care of your motors and fans this time.

thank you! shit.

danielle got a parking ticket + michael moore says relax + what are you voting for is good

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