how i deal with the negative emails and comments that i get on here.

easy. i dont give a shit.

ive never given a shit. but that might be because ever since i was in school there was always an asswipe in the hall or a teacher at the chalk board or someone who wasnt shy about saying, tony you suck.

then along came the internet and complete strangers were given free reign to tell me that i sucked, but i was allowed to dish it right back.

truth is, at many things i do suck. ask anyone.

but as far as writing and blogging and thinking goes, all their opinions dont mean shit. it’s all subjective. it’s all so much bullshit. zeroes and ones. pixels and whatnot.

and guess what, if you call a huge chunk of america dumbfuck inbred fear-loving faggot-haters you might get a few emails.

democrats, which i am often categorized as being, have a hard time breaking out of the PC world that they created for themselves.

i dont have such hangups.

if i see a retard as president of the united states i think it’s disingenious not to stand up and say, does everyone see the same tard that i see?

plus i believe in the idealism that some people might need to read it somewhere else first before they feel comfortable to say, “yeah, that motherfucker IS a retard!”

no matter how many hits you get, always pretend that youre not getting any. always pretend that this online journal is offline. write the way youd write if this was your three ring binder in highschool.

if that doesnt help you write more honestly, think about the fact that a guy stood up the other day and said “unwed mothers and homosexuals shouldnt even be teachers!” and not only did that guy live to see another day, but he is south carolinas newest senator.

o’reilly has no problem speaking his mind, neither does rush. sure we look at them and laugh, but they laugh all the way to the bank.

ultimately i look at blogging the same way the editors of the la times look at it: as a joke, as a hobby, as this generations cb radio. and like all those communiques back in the 70s, theyre all dust in the wind good buddy.

so ask yourself the next time you censor yourself on your blog, if you cant keep it real on the web, where can you?

and then type whatever the fuck you wanna type, select all, copy, and click publish.

and then fuggetaboutit

azarock + megastir + britcoal

i remember live aid perfectly. i woke up early, i had my vcr going for the audio/video. i had my radio shack cassette deck next to the radio taping my boom box needs, i was set.

some of my favorite bands played: u2, the stones, zeppelin, queen, bowie, elvis costello, the boomtown rats.

it was the 80s though and im very nervous how all of pinks and teals and bright blues will look on dvd which was released today in the UK and next week here across the pond.

four discs they promise us. 10 hours of the best from the pop world of 20 years ago.

it could suck, but remember one thing: it was all for charity and we might not have fed the world, but we fed some of it for a little while, proving that pop stars might not be that influencial in politics, but their hearts are usually in the right place.

even so, it didnt do so badly. of the 1.4 billion viewers, the bob geldof production managed to raise $140 million to help fight the famine in ethiopia.

20 years ago, kids, $140 million meant something.

one would think that the release of the $40 dvd could reap closer to $200 mil, if not more.

i fondly recall an impassioned performance by U2 and an amazing Queen set.

the zep reunion was drunken and bloated and forgetable

as was the fact that phil collins played in the UK and was flown to the US to also play.

however the duet of mick jagger and tina turner was pure 80s, as was madonnas outfit.

if it wasnt for charity i might pass to sheild my mind from such (at times) painful memories, but there might be something to learn from all of this.

1. george michael in small doses is fine, in large doses, ridiculous

2. phil collins has always sucked

3. we’re not the world

Update: the Led Zep footage will not be on the Live Aid dvd

raymi + fake curtis + captain scurvy + danielle

with 65 cent chili dogs!

“Customers can buy 65-cent dogs for 65 minutes,

starting each day at 6 p.m.”

la blogs + la voice + franklin ave.

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

i was checking out last night’s conan on comedy central while eating my chinese leftovers at my desk for lunch when my boss’s boss, this super dooper hot black woman who looks like a young whitney crossed with a younger vanessa williams, tapped me on the shoulder.

sonny, come with me. she ordered.

trailed her as she made her way to the elevators. everyone knows her. looked like everyone had some business with her.

“we never got that approval from IT,” someone shouted at her.

“tell em to call Phil.” she’d yell back.

“the houston guy says that he doesnt want to do it for under a thousand,” some complete babe smiled at her.

“tell him it’s three hundred or we’ll get it from mexico.”

i loved this woman. and she did it in heels!

we got on the elevator, she put her key in, turned it and pressed a button that ive pressed before. B2. second basement. property room. otherwise known as the evidence room. at the xbi we dont really have “evidence,” we dont really go to court as xbi agents. we just have stuff that we’ve collected over the years that we use to get either more stuff or people or use as bribes or blackmail, extortion, etc.

ding. door opened. she smiled at the two guys who opened the door for her. that led down a little hall with a thick door and a tiny window. we could hear a phone ring in there. then the door opened. two more guys opened the door and had us each sign a sheet that hadnt been signed in two days. names id never seen before. when i handed back the pen, i was given a pair of rubber gloves and i snickered.

“one joke, sonny, and these two gentlemen will hold you as i pummel you,” she said. thats when they snickered.

i thought to myself, “you dont have to have them hold me down, baby.”

“i heard that,” she said. and tapped her esp earpiece.

creeped out, i started humming “hot in herrre.” by nelly, bitch.

stepped into one of the many evidence rooms. was instructed not to touch anything, a beanie with a propellor on the top cuaght my eye and i put it on as i followed her down the aisle.

she turned around and i prentended everything was fine.

“take that off immediately, agent.” she said.

“take what off?”

“thats a Lying Hat.” she warned.

“then it’s worthless cuz ive never told a lie in my life.” i said.

and the propellor started to spin and a tiny toy monkey appeared from within the propellor’s center, did a little jig, and just as quickly, retreated back into the cap.

“im here to ask you your advice on this new item,” she said. i kept the cap on. i wanted her to love me.

“this,” she said, “is 2-minute Acid.”

“LSD?”

“yes.” she said. “it works for two minutes and wears off.”

“i dont think theres any use for that.” i said.

my propellor spun and the monkey appeared and began breakdancing, finished with a headspin and sunk back into the cap.

“you’re going to wear out the batteries.” she said.

i took off the cap and she said, “no, no, no. leave it on. you look cute in it.”

so i left it on.

tim blair + mindy + kaye + tyranny

Sun Nov 7, 6:12 PM ET AP

NEW YORK – A 25-year-old man from Georgia who was apparently distraught over President Bush’s re-election shot and killed himself at ground zero. Andrew Veal’s body was found Saturday morning inside the off-limits site, said Steve Coleman, a spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. A shotgun was found nearby, but no suicide note was found, Coleman said.

Veal’s mother said her son was upset about the result of the presidential election and had driven to New York, Gus Danese, president of the Port Authority Police Benevolent Association, told The New York Times in Sunday’s editions.

Friends said Veal worked in a computer lab at the University of Georgia and was planning to marry.

“I’m absolutely sure it’s a protest,” Mary Anne Mauney, Veal’s supervisor at the lab, told The Daily News. “I don’t know what made him commit suicide, but where he did it was symbolic.”

Police were investigating how Veal entered the former World Trade Center site, which is protected by high fences and owned by the Port Authority.

that story reminded me of this post from last year around this time:

Monday, November 24, 2003

i get lots of emails from lots of people and i would say that most of them are from college-aged young men.

now this isnt the way that i set this shit up to work out, but you get what you get and you live with it.

every once in a while i get a troubling email from a young man who says he wants to end it.

i hate those emails. it puts a lot of pressure on me. and libras arent the best shoulders to cry on. we might just be the worst.

so heres what i will tell you, my friend. college is tough. its the best time of your life, which is sorta freaky, but it’ll still be tough.

there were times, especially in college, when i wanted to end it all. and i am happy that i didnt.

since college ive done an awful lot. i still dont have a car. i still dont have my dream job. but no way could i have known in college that my life would have ended up the way it has, and in lots and lots of ways its way better than i ever thought it would be.

when i was in college, for instance, there was no such thing as mp3s

or free porn

or paris hilton having sex on my computer

there wasnt anything like blogger.

we werent hooked up for the internet in any of the homes that i lived in.

the cubs didnt have any pitching.

hot girls werent emailing me pics of their hot bodies.

you couldnt type tony into google and it would be second only to the Tony awards.

there wasnt even Google.

so much changes so fast my friends that it could change for the good, even if you dont see the light at the end of the tunnel.

you’ll have to trust me on this.

one thing that i did when i was in my darkest hour was this: if i thought i was going to take a dangerous risky dumbass risk, i first asked out a super hot girl to the movies.

if she said no, i asked out a girl even hotter than her.

if she said no, i went to the movies alone.

then i wrote something.

some might say all that college angst and struggle ended up starting a pretty good habit.

keep rockin,

and drink the beer. it’s there for a reason.

tony

196 baby + gnome girl + stupid evil bastard + pepito smith

is going on down in the lbc.

its a two-day music festival starring the guy from the velvet underground, the guy from pavement, modest mouse, the shins, the cramps and a bunch of other bands.

a funny little comment war broke out on the blogging.la site about whether ATP is a better two-day concert than this summer’s Coachella.

some guy was all, ATP is nothing compared to Coachella, and thats when a guy named Travis went off:

You’re tripping man. Coachella 2004 sucked balls, unless you caught some shit I missed out there in the 200 degree heat. The only good bands I SAW were Kraftwerk, The Pixies (but they barely count cuz they’re old, fat, sober, and I saw them the night before at the Glasshouse, which was ten times better than seeing them in a field), Radiohead (who totally sucked, they were acutally OUT OF TUNE on some songs), and I guess you could say The Cure (but they were so quiet they might as well of not played, plus they played a bunch of new songs from their ROSS ROBINSON record). ATP slays that shit.

to which a guy named Bacon said, “I’m not sure you were at the same festival I was at. The Pixies were fucking tight. Radiohead was amazing. Air was dope too.. not to mention all the good Hip Hop I saw from Dizzee Rascal and the Streets etc..

“When its all said and done, the acts that played at Coachella 2004 had way more of a profound and direct influence on music than any of these bands at this festival will ever have.”

and then someone named RS said, “Modest Mouse should have voted THEMSELVES off the list of bands…”

and a guy named Michael said, “Travis, has it ever occured to you that some people might like the other music festivals because they know and like the bands playing there? You seem quick to deem everything that you’re not interested in as ‘sucking’ or ‘shitty’. Why not just be excited about this festival instead of playing the ‘I’m cool and indy and your American festivals suck’ card?”

which only made Travis nuts:

Jesus, everyone’s a fucking cry baby around here. Hang on while I rub your pussies.

Did it ever occur to me that people like bands cuz they know them? What the fuck does that mean? Who doesn’t know Lou Reed? What planet are you from? Did it ever occur to YOU that most people are total fucking morons? I deemed Coachella shitty not cuz it wasn’t interesting to me, but because it WAS shitty. The sound was shit, the heat was shit, the drive out there was shit, and the line up was shit. That equals shitty to me. Sorry if you disagree, but I’m right and you’re wrong. If your idea of a good time is watching hip hop live (which in case you weren’t sure, is people yelling at you – hip hop live is about as fun as going to the dentist) or Air live (which as good as their records might be is TOTALLY FUCKING BORING TO WATCH LIVE – wanna watch me check my email?), DURING THE DAY in a field in the desert, then KNOCK YOURSELF OUT CHAMP!

Profound and direct influence on music? What? LOU REED BITCH!

You guys can skip The Cramps, Old Lou, Black Heart, The Shins, Stephen Malkmus, White Magic, and Lungfish and wait til Coachella next year you fucking cry babies

later Bacon said:

Congratulations. You don’t like hip-hop. I guess this makes you some sort of rebel or something.

I was born and raised on the shit, it aint gonna change because some pasty silverlaked-haired ironic t-shirt guy told me that hating hip hop like its disco circa 1980 makes him cooler than me.

Air was a great performance they were up there with a live band, were you watching them or are you just basing your opinion on what you saw??heard from your buddyhead cronies?

Also, its hilarious that your telling me I’m bitching like a little girl. Isnt that what buddyhead is all about?? Complaining about people bitching on the Internets is like complaining about people driving on the street.

That’s what its there for.

You and all your Rilo-Kiley-Slater-Kinney wannabe friends have fun trying to out indy each other this weekend.

and our pal Travis responded thusly:

You were born and raised by an English dude rapping about knickers? That would explain it allot. Sucks to be you. And ummm dude, you just showed me all your cards… bad move. I was raised on BLACK SABBATH and LES ZEPPELIN and THE STOOGES and MINOR THREAT and BAD BRAINS… you might wanna check out the first three.

But hey now Mr. Hip Hop guy, don’t get me wrong, I like rap ON RECORD when they’ve got something to say like Public Enemy or NWA did. Yes, that shit is rad. But do I wanna stand in a field and watch The Streets? NO BRO!

Silverlake? Ironic t shirts? You’ve got the wrong guy… I’m not who you think I am, but nice try. And my location has nothing to do with why I’m cooler than you man… I live in West Hollywood sizzlechest.

And yes I saw AIR… and if they had a “live band” hows comes THEY DIDNT HAVE A DRUMMER? WHERE THE FUCK WHERE THE DRUM SOUNDS COMING FROM SMART GUY?!?! Yes, the one dude was playing guitar over samples and keyboards and dats yes…. GREAT! How exciting… Not.

Buddyhead isn’t about bitching… it’s us entertaining ourselves while dorks get their panties in a bunch over what we say… just like I’m doing here on this site with you jackasses… who’s got the most comments on a post? I DO!

And for the record, Rilo Kiley sucks shit and Sleater Kinney rock for three girls but you won’t catch me listening to it.

Sorry everyone… my next post will be about how rad rap music is and how nice everything is…

highly entertaining which is why you should read the whole thing

h/t sean bonner + layne edjumacates the jesuslanders + sorry everybody + hot prison guard

Thursday, November 06, 2003

one of the nice things about living in hollywood is that theres people from all over the world here. which means theres food from all over the world.

the food that im most fascinated by currently is philippine food. specifically hollywood philippine food.

usually i get tricked into one of these magical places because from the outside they look like $1 per item Chinese places in that they have the buffet style pans of crap with the heat lamps drying everything out, a crazy woman sitting on a stool waiting to serve you, and a mexican chap in the back with an apron listening to the clipper game on the radio.

i like philippine places like this because its almost like an adult lemonade stand: people just can believe that youre buying something from them, and when you do they always smile and smile and sometimes they’ll even shake your hand.

today they told me that i was parked in a red zone.

i was all, its karisas car, if she doesnt get a ticket a week the dmv will worry that shes dead.

one thing you can count on in philippine restaurants like this is you wont be able to recognize a damn thing other than the fried rice. call me nuts, but i like that. and youre bound to see a tray with an entire fish or two laying there with a slice of onion on it or a wedge of lemon or something unbelievably random like a hunk of sweet potato or some shit.

your best bet is not to ask what things are, it’ll just terrify you.

is that deep fried?

yes, its turtle.

oops.

today i got little squares of beef with swirls of onions, fried rice, and little cubes of pork with sweet sauce on it.

i think.

they were all very nice and it cost me less than four dollars.

tonight last nights girl wants me to come back over to spend the night again. apparently whatever it was that i did deserves an encore.

am i gay if i just want to stay home tonight, watch the lakers, and work on this novel?

if you saw this babe youd say yes tony, youre gay. and then youd step on my toe.

i went over there yesterday primarily to see her, of course, but also to do my laundry. besides being beautiful shes also very rich and has a washer and a dryer back by her poolhouse. but i only got one load done, and that one barely, so this morning i had to leave my stuff at her place and go to work.

have you noticed that my job really gets in the way of my life?

smart as this girl is, i dont think she understands that im not the kickass writer that she thinks i am. i just cant sit in her den and knock out pages for the novel with a snap of the fingers.

i need all my stuff around me.

i need the stereo on with the right music. i need the tv on. i need a few virgins fumbling with their restraints wondering if they will be sacrificed that night. i need my diet dr pepper because i probably am gay.

i need my thinking cap. i need my special rum. i need my munchies. and i need to be focused.

and there is nothing about this hot young woman that allows me to be focused on anything other than her.

i have to shower now and head on over there.

isou + mark cuban got fined for his blog + town and planet

“Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” – job 1:8

if i had a radio show or a television talk show i would invite the president to be a guest

but only if we could only talk about the bible for an hour.

millions of americans allegedly voted for mr bush because he claims to be Christian and it’s not like im saying hes not, i would just like to find out what sort of Christian he sees himself as. cuz theres lots of different kinds.

the first passage i would want to talk with him about is in Job, one of the most universally loved and told tales from the good book.

i would ask the president what he thinks of the book of job and ask him if he sees any similarities between himself and the character job.

after we talked about that for a few minutes i would ask him if he felt that he was blameless. not as a loaded question cuz thats not nice, but as a real question.

i know im not blameless, which in a way, if you think about it is good because the lord would never present me to satan and say, heres tone: perfect, great, blameless – fuck with his life and i bet you he still loves Me when youre done.

it’s not that im afraid that i wouldnt always remain faithful to the lord, i just wouldnt want to live with boils to prove it. i have enough problems.

but in a way our president acts blameless about pretty much everything and i would be curious to see if he thinks he is.

if i was mr bush i would have no fear right now. id be honest to tony pierce. why not?

in many peoples minds he could not have done worse in his first term – from ignoring the 8/6/01 pdr entitled bin laden determined to strike inside the us, to not finding bin laden, to not finding wmd, to creating the largest deficit ever, etc etc – which means unless he literally started acting like hitler, he can only do better this next term.

plus whos gonna beat mccain in 08? no one.

even four more years of the tard isnt going to hurt mccain.

so if i was george bush i would be brutally honest with people. id have no fear. if i thought i was blameless id say im fuckin blameless g.

or i would say, yeah we blew it, but it wont happen again. and we are sorry. please forgive us.

then the question would be, how does one shun evil? do you shun it by ignoring it? do you shun it by striking first? or do you shun it by some other means?

and then i would have mr bush rank the evil of the world. that would probably be helpful. and again, what does he have to lose?

i would say ok, obviously afghanistan and iraq rank 10 on the scale of evil because we went in there and had war.

so is saudi arabia a 9?

is north korea a 9?

is china a 9?

what about cuba?

are there any countries in africa a 9?

if the president didnt want to say whether a country ranked highly i would argue that the american people should know if they were about to travel to a country that the president thought was near the top on the scale of evil

isnt ashcrofts terror alert dealie a way for the government to let the public know how things are going? then why not colors for individual countries?

canada i would imagine would be a green, but what about iran?

as a Christian i want to shun evil. as president dont you want us to know where this evil is?

and then finally i would ask the president to discuss with me the fine line between divine intervention and free will, cuz i think that gray area is fascinating.

and im pretty sure he’d agree

cuz hes obviously expecting some divine intervention regarding the american economy.

unless he knows something that he hasnt told us about yet.

in which case i hope he gives me the exclusive.

and if he does, you’ll be the first to know.

fragrant + chelle + raspil + michael moore’s latest film