i find that i have left over examples or information or photographs left around, on the cutting room floor, as they say. in the last post i definately didnt want to slight our very good friend george from all about george and negrophile. mr kelly is one of those intensely intellectual black men who actually thinks for a beat before he lets you have it with an amazing deep baritone, which would be perfect in a podcast, which i have recently been talked into persuing. the podcast would be called bloggers, an interview show, and the first person i thought of interviewing was mr kelly who i had read before i met him in texas and who was even more impressive in person.

and the second guest of course would be raymi.

welcome to seventeen minutes with tony it is 11:57am. go.

why am i up so early? because i have a job interview today. i have a freakishly high interview to offer ratio. it might be 100%, and ive held quite a few jobs. isou remarked how he was envious that i truly dont give a fuck about what people think about me, but he should be warned that theres one type of person who that really irks: bosses. and i have not been blessed with a high percentage of bosses who feel comfortable with such confidence. so beware.

twelve o one and its a good job that i would like to take the bus to since its right down sunset or if i was younger id skateboard but random little things can ruin a good skate like an acorn or a broken 40 or a rock. one of the great little perks of busriding was at least 15-20 minutes of solid book reading, a practice i rarely do in bed since the dawn of the www.

a very nice fan sent me an illegal directv card that gives me all the stations. now ive received my fair share of love from the blogosphere, and im truly grateful for all of it. and i never forget anyone. but this card is cracking me up.

first of all as a Christian man i can’t possibly keep it, as it’s stealing. and i would definately be stealing a lot of the porn that i am currently watching at twelve o five this gorgeous afternoon here in la. however i would like to keep it when Directv blacks out certain games because i happen to live in a certain part of the country.

for example, this weekend my beloved Cubs were swept by the bronx bombers of new york. totally historic series as the cubs hadnt been in yankee stadium since ’33 or ’38 or something crazy. on friday i got the game on wgn and on sunday i got the game through my mlb baseball package, but on saturday it was blacked out by fox so that i was forced to watch the dodger game since i happen to live in LA.

i pay $159 extra each year to get as many baseball games as i can possibly get. is it stealing, therefore, if i unscramble the signal of something thats not for sale? this porn that im watching out of the corner of my eye, thats for sale, i should pay for this, but the saturday afternoon cubs yankees game that id pay extra for if there was a price, i do not believe is stealing.

another improvement of this card is the ability to watch local stations from all around the country. for nine years ive given directv an awful lot of money since i always have the sports season tickets, hoops, baseball, football, and at least one movie channel, currently starz because hbo doesnt have the sopranos or maher. dont they know that if they offered the Local Channels from the USA package, i’d pay $99 extra a month? what good is having it beaming off your bird if you wont let us buy it?

where are my representatives in washington? why is it that the only time i hear shit from them its to limit what i hear and see and never to expand it. the internet is blowing doors off traditional entertainment because the internet continues to grow at ridiculous rates. theres always something newer and faster and better. right now its the blogosphere. the greatest show on earth.

what was impressed on me was that podcasting was a way to take that blogosphere with you offline. since i never leave the house that hadnt occured to me, but yes, i suppose there are people who actually have nothing to listen to on their ipods and might want to hear people talking about interesting things.

as soon as this film is over im going to take this card out and walk over to the ronald mcdonald house on fountain ave and donate this to families in need, who might not be from la and would like to see their local news. so generous donator who sent me this wonderful deal, please dont me mad but i cant keep this. if you want it back just email me. i can wait.

in fact, take your time.

the holy writer + raspil + küsimusele + unbroken habit

probably not even black in the first place woman who wrote this to me in my comments last week but i forgot about it because it was so dumb i thought it was a goof,

“you are so full of yourself that you are empty. and your warning to write more, to strike back, make fun of people… i guess that would matter to anyone that has even a second thought of respect for you. Anyone that knows you and has met you in person – for even the shortest amount of time, would realize how phony, and empty you really are. As far as Jethro ?judging you? bro, you put your shit out there, so you invite people to judge you, don?t get pissed when they see you for what you really are? reading your blog is like reading the musing of a 15 year old self absorbed boy that fantasizes about being cool, and popular. but he can’t. so instead he rebels and fights against “the man” and commerce and convinces himself he isn’t common or plain, or ordinary. but you are plain and common and ordinary, just trying to be special. you hide behind your anger!!!! argh!!! the man is after me. you hide behind your words, you use 20 words when 4 will do. you hide behind being black, believe you me, negros don’t need you to join our ranks, you give black men an even worse name than they already have. so keep passing… cause we don’t want your ignorant ass. if being bad is so good to you, how about you just keep my friends name out of your mouth. tell your fake stories and leave the real shit on the cutting room floor. everything about you – is fake, so that should be easy for you.”

first of all happy juneteenth. the least celebrated american anniversary as it, june nineteenth, was the last day of the civil war and the first day that african americans were set free to live in theory as equals with whites in america.

so with that said anonymous commenter, you can blow me. i didnt need your faux invitation to the black “ranks” therefore your expulsion means nothing. and fuck you while we’re at it.

african americans have lived and mingled on this continent for over 400 years and at each turn we were told that we dont belong. from generation to generation we were called names, and disparaged, and insulted and ridiculed. thus the anonymous whines from the comments of a blog quite possibly might be the weakest barb a proud black man has ever encountered, so for that you should be congratulated, and as a society we should be grateful since it appears progress is being made. feast at your celebration of mediocrity.

in the old days ignorants with a beef would burn a cross while hiding in anonymity. nowadays they snipe from the safety of an unsigned message. both do nothing to the souls of black folk who have ascended from african kings and today rule as silent leaders throughout every continent and in every realm.

the zen masters of buddhism consider emptiness the precipice of enlightenment so calling me “so full” that im empty is a compliment. arigato grasshopper. in your words ive achieved yin and yang, heaven and earth, darkness and light, white and black. and you might just be right.

you attempt to insult me by inviting me to “keep passing”, but if you were an honest person youd admit that most white folk wouldnt know me as a black man unless i told them the truth, which is i am all black and probably “more black” than most. so therefore if my intention was to “keep passing” why would i tell anyone, ever, the truth about my heritage and ancestry, especially if as you say i was so fake and phony?

maybe youre confused by the way i talk. well, humans are mimics. we learn to talk by what we hear. my sister and i grew up as the only black kids in an allwhite suburb of chicago. then i went to college in santa monica and santa barbara. therefore the accents that you hear when i speak oftentimes sound midwestern mixed with westside la and isla vista.

if i were doing anything else other than keeping it really real i would sound and dress and act different. but i was raised by an educated black woman who knew better. she taught her children to be proud of who they were and where they came from. and since im straight off the culdesac i’d be the phony you accuse me of being if i didnt act the way i do, which is probably not the slightest bit like most black men you know, who i can only assume are the ones who have given black men the bad name that you allege.

me, i dont know too many black men who give bad names to our race. i know jason toney who’s in charge of laist.com and negroplease, i know oliver willis from media matters, and i know mike randle the guitarist of Love and nearly the only other black man at ucsb other than the basketball team the class president mc peace and myself. none of those black men could be easily described or put into a box or labeled or so easily stereotyped, not even by those like you who are quick to judge from years of practice. but do keep trying, its cute.

if i were to dress like i wanted to be on the dance line of soul train, trust me, i know my way to the fox hills mall. likewise, if my dream was to pass for a whiteman, then as youve clearly said, my dream is alive, all i have to do is keep the fakeout on high and shut my mouth.

unfortunately for you i am neither ashamed of my lineage nor of my upbringing or lifelong friends or childhood or skin color or hair color or ability to crossover dribble or penchant for soul food or ability to rhyme at anytime or inherently flawless sense of rhythm. ojs not guilty, michaels innocent, and nwa were better than the beatles in my opinion because of my dna, and youre right i put myself out there just like the sun shines in every crevice, and those who lash at it in anger are fools, so quit acting a fool.

or dont.

juneteenth is the day when in america we as black folk were given the right, through a bloody war, to be free of the shackles that others would prefer to have bind us.

if you want to remain locked up and tangled with your ignorance towards me, a black man who youve spent probably less than twenty full minutes in dialogue with your entire life, and if you wish to judge me based on that one meeting then realize that youre no different than those who discriminate against others due to similar ignorance and foolish hate.

me, i will accept my lot in life, which is a tougher one than youd think, one where i have to constantly be misunderstood for being someone who i am not.

while i was on the sxsw blogging while black panel i was asked an excellent question that i was grateful to answer.

someone asked the panel if we were blacks first, bloggers first or if we tried to distance ourselves from race since here in the blogosphere that was an option.

clearly i spoke into the mic:

i am a black man who blogs.

It is important for me to be honest about who I am. When I talk about OJ I’m talking about it from a black man’s perspective. If I’m going to enter into the discussion on my blog, it is important to be transparent. This is a black man talking about this. A kid who grew up with OJ as a hero. Interestingly though, most people who see me don?t’ see a black man and read me don’t think that. So it is important to remind them. – 3/14/05

i didnt give the popular pc line that i was a blogger who just happened to be black because the klan didnt just happen to string up our ancestors who just happened to be slightly darker of complexion. which back in the day i would have been just as strung up or just as enslaved or just as unable to learn to read or write or travel around america as any other black man.

which makes me a nigga4life

something im so comfortable with that i dont have to pretend to be anything else. particularly something predictable and easily described so as to better fit into your narrow mind.

now do everyone a favor and go fuck yourself.

volume 2 + frozen toothpaste + muscle68 + just a girl

whats gay
although late to the party, the ny times now has their say

via fantasy life + american street + how appealing

she doesnt work at the xbi but she works at the building that we occupy. and even though she says she reads my blog im not sure that she totally understands what i do for a living.

but whenever im around the office for lunchtime i like to eat with her cuz shes funny, shes smart, shes brutally honest, and there has never been a topic that she wont discuss with me.

and she hates wearing underwear.

danielle is half italian half jewish. shes half hippie half yuppie. shes all loud, all fun.

youd be suprised how depressing it can be saving the world. so its nice to have a happy girl to have a half sandwich and soup with on a june gloom friday.

she loves anthropologie and fishing. she likes to hike through the palisades and rich guys with loose wallets. she’ll flash you if you dare her so i dont dare her.

i dont have that many friends at the xbi. its sorta an unsaid rule cuz we drop like flies. and you never know who’s on the take who you’ll have to take for a little drive. and thats why its awesome that danielle doesnt work for us.

unless of course she works for someone who is trying to infiltrate us.

in which case she might get a little tour of the pacific via chopper one.

but i doubt it.

she likes the grateful dead and old school jazz.

she watched the whole last season of the sopranos with me, and now we’re gonna watch Deadwood.

she reads all the books i give her and she finds great details to talk about over thai.

she tells me that in two months shes going to be quitting her job at the flower stand downstairs and go to grad school in san diego.

i will miss her a ton.

i hope she keeps up her blog

peter b + trained monkey + charsuede + bad fur days + makeout city

of fifteen minutes with tony. i think im going to be employed soon. ironically enough maybe a little too soon. ha. i havent been able to enjoy this summer vacation because ive been worried or busy doing all these other things. from the car to the girl to the work to the sponsor to pretending to be a troll to jury duty to worrying about money and the book and the price of the book and how little it was. i wasnt getting any sleep. it wasnt that i was going to bed and tossing and turning, that never happens to me, im talking typing and typing and clicking around the blogosphere and corresponding and reading until first 4am then 6am then 11am and then the other day until 4:30pm. im not complaining, it was fascinating, im just saying, its not your typical summer vacation, shit i havent been to venice beach even once.

but it will be good to have a job again. i am someone who needs to be working and it helps if its something hard. i dont even care if its a useless job for people who dont really like you, keep my mind busy or i will go crazy. im in twelve fantasy baseball leagues. i commish four of them. i think next year i’ll commish all twelve because there is nothing worse, nothing at ALL than being in a good fantasy league that has a bad commish. it ruins everything.

coulter is the banker when you play monopoly. ive only had the pleasure to play once with him but it was a complete joy. he keeps the dice rolling, he keeps the money handled, hes telling jokes, keeping an eye on the cd player, he makes it fun and quick.

the commish of a fantasy baseball league should be like that. and fair and active and be willing to communicate. the problem is the commish also has a team, so sometimes he is in the position of having to rule on the fairness of trades that he is involved in.

the tricky part is everyone is trying to sell off overrated players for undervalued or up-and-coming players.

what i would like yahoo fantasy sports to be able tell me is, which prospective league members are truly active. which ones really play every day and have played every day for the last few years. if you want me to pay for the premium services, get me in a league where the commish is like coulter and the players actually play every day.

id pay for that.

im watching film school on ifc because theyre having a marathon today that my tivo picked up for me because my tivos finally understanding. the dude who figures out the program that truly can give good suggestions based on the things that you watch and the things that you tivo will be a rich mammajamma. how hard could it really be? there are good movies there are bad movies and a whole bunch inbetween. same for tv shows. and there are a lot of people using tivo. how hard is it to figure out that those thumbs up and thumbs down buttons when used properly could be great feedback to , shit, lots of people. so why isnt tivo figuring this out.

i tivo every cubs game i can, but sometimes i’ll record one on a chanel that gets blacked out, why cant tivo see that its going to be blacked out in my zip code, or better yet, why cant it see that im not receiving a signal? how hard would that be to determine? and once you tivo every baseball game from the same team, why not just assume that i want the rest of them.

and secondly, we can put a man on the moon but my tivo cant figure out that i no habla espanol. i watch the spanish channels occassionally because theyre loco but if ive never recorded one there really is no reason for tivo to think i want one recorded. ay carumba.

today i am going to take a little drive and snap some pictures because my maid is going to clean my house because i havent been able to use her in a while and she said mr tony what is the problem and i told her that i had no job and she said oh i will clean your house for free and i will make you some soup and i said oh no please no and i was laughing and she was laughing and the other day she called me up and she asked me if i would give her five cds from my cd collection because she loves jazz and she would love some of my jazz cds. your maid i have learned often knows more about your possessions than you do. so i was all baby if you clean my house you can have twenty of my cds. so im expecting some damn good soup when i come home tonight.

two questions from trinidad

1. Do you ever have regrets about using your real name in your blog like when you meet people like the judge you can’t really be anonimous it must be a pain sometimes.

yes. since i dont write about politics very much or tech or have nudes, and since im not a hot young chick, i never thought my blog would be read by very many people. and who could have predicted the popularity of blogging itself. so yes if i had to do it over again i would have made up a really great fake name like rock dangerson and lay low, but as in most things i had no clue what i was doing.

2. Have you really ever gotten into a girls’s pants because of your blog? haha can’t wait to hear the answer to that one.

mickey kaus says im the only person that thats happened to but mickey’s reading the wrong blogs. lord knows hes linking the wrong ones. jk, mk. but i know of quite a few who are receiving the benefits due to their posts, but that shouldnt be suprising, if people can get laid from the crap they throw up on their myspace pages, a decent blogger in comparison should be rolling in it.

mobseen + susan + addicted to it all + mc brown at the silver lake downhill derby

today on the world famous busblog

how to blog by tony pierce, 110

1. write every day.

2. if you think youre a good writer, write twice a day.

3. dont be afraid to do anything. infact if youre afraid of something, do it. then do it again. and again.

4. cuss like a sailor.

5. dont tell your mom, your work, your friends, the people you want to date, or the people you want to work for about your blog. if they find out and you’d rather they didnt read it, ask them nicely to grant you your privacy.

6. have comments. dont be upset if no one writes in your comments for a long time. eventually they’ll write in there. if people start acting mean in your comments, ask them to stop, they probably will.

7. have an email address clearly displayed on your blog. sometimes people want to tell you that you rock in private.

8. dont worry very much about the design of your blog. image is a fakeout.

9. use Blogger. it’s easy, it’s free; and because they are owned by Google, your blog will get spidered better, you will show up in more search results, and more people will end up at your blog. besides, all the other blogging software & alternatives pretty much suck.

10. use spellcheck unless youre completely totally keeping it real. but even then you might want to use it if you think you wrote something really good.

11. say exactly what you want to say no matter what it looks like on the screen. then say something else. then keep going. and when youre done, re-read it, and edit it and hit publish and forget about it.

12. link like crazy. link anyone who links you, link your favorites, link your friends. dont be a prude. linking is what seperates bloggers from apes. and especially link if you’re trying to prove a point and someone else said it first. it lends credibility even if youre full of shit.

13. if you havent written about sex, religion, and politics in a week youre probably playing it too safe, which means you probably fucked up on #5, in which case start a second blog and keep your big mouth shut about it this time.

14. remember: nobody cares which N*Sync member you are, what State you are, which Party of Five kid you are, or which Weezer song you are. the second you put one of those things on your blog you need to delete your blog and try out for the marching band. similarilly, nobody gives a shit what the weather is like in your town, nobody wants you to change their cursor into a butterfly, nobody wants to vote on whether your blog is hot or not, and nobody gives a rat ass what song youre listening to. write something Real for you, about you, every day.

15. dont be afraid if you think something has been said before. it has. and better. big whoop. say it anyway using your own words as honestly as you can. just let it out.

16. get Site Meter and make it available for everyone to see. if you’re embarrassed that not a lot of people are clicking over to your page, dont be embarrassed by the number, be embarrassed that you actually give a crap about hits to your gay blog. it really is just a blog. and hits really dont mean anything. you want Site Meter, though, to see who is linking you so you can thank them and so you can link them back. similarilly, use Technorati, but dont obsess. write.

17. people like pictures. use them. save them to your own server. or use Blogger’s free service. if you dont know how to do it, learn. also get a Buzznet account. several things will happen once you start blogging, one of them is you will learn new things. thats a good thing.

18. before you hit Save as Draft or Publish Post, select all and copy your masterpiece. you are using a computer and the internet, shit can happen. no need to lose a good post.

19. push the envelope in what youre writing about and how youre saying it. be more and more honest. get to the root of things. start at the root of things and get deeper. dig. think out loud. keep typing. keep going. eventually you’ll find a little treasure chest. every time you blog this can happen if you let it.

20. change your style. mimic people. write beautiful lies. dream in public. kiss and tell. finger and tell. cry scream fight sing fuck and dont be afraid to be funny. the easiest thing to do is whine when you write. dont be lazy. audblog at least once a week.

21. write open letters. make lists. call people out on their bullshit. lead by example. invent and reinvent yourself. start by writing about what happened to you today. for example today i told a hot girl how wonderfully hot she is.

22. when in doubt review something. theres not enough reviews on blogs. review a movie you just saw, a tv show, a cd, a kiss you just got, a restaurant, a hike you just took, anything.

23. constantly write about the town that you live in.

24. out yourself. tell your secrets. you can always delete them later.

25. dont use your real name. dont write about your work unless you dont care about getting fired.

26. dont be afraid to come across as an asswipe. own your asswipeness.

27. nobody likes poems. dont put your poems on your blog. not even if theyre incredible. especially if theyre incredible. odds are theyre not incredible. bad poems are funny sometimes though, so fine, put youd dumb poems on there. whatever.

28. tell us about your friends.

29. dont apologize about not blogging. nobody cares. just start blogging again.

30. read tons of blogs and leave nice comments.

31. if you’re going to ripoff/mimic/be inspired by one blogger make it raymi, shes perfect.

1. was that good for you?
2. should i continue to allow trolls to troll here?
3. did dude provide anything to this blog?
4. did you learn anything from him?
5. was it entertaining?
6. do you feel dirty now?
7. do you forgive me for trying to be cool about it?

i will be at jury duty today, thurs, so its all yours, commentors. be good.