an amy langfield creation.

you too can play along and i will post it.

1. get Stiff
2. put it on your cat
3. take a picture
4. email the pic to tony.tony.stiffonmycat@buzznet.com

i love the internet

hi baby. glad to see you come and go. what an amazing week. what a week i didnt expect cuz everything pretty much went almost exactly the way i thought it would go and then some.

i got called peoples heroes i got called sexist i got called hot i got called cool.

i got to see and feel and experience. i got out of the damn house. i got out of the damn bed. i got to walk down the street and just sidel up to the side of a building and steal their wifi. i got to cuddle all night with a super hot girl who i would definately have gone out again with if she didnt live way the fuck over there. i got to meet people id only read about.

i got to fall in love with new york which for some reason is something that i never conceived since i was completely satisfied with la and hollywood and west coast livin.

i got to see truly how phoney the pacific is cuz the atlantic was amazingly really-real. its hard to describe unless you live it, but for some reason i let the fakeness pass here because its like smog it only bothers you if you think about it. how can i make it sink in that everyone was nice to me in new york even the cabbies who didnt wanna take me to brooklyn. how can i just turn my back on that.

the only thing i didnt like were the lack of mets hats. i saw a hundred different types of yankee caps, on all types of people from little old ladies to babies to men and boys of all sorts. i saw that ny on the back of cars in windows on shoe laces, i saw them in all places. if i got stuck in a prison camp in china i still wouldnt ever pull for the bombers i dont care how much they torture me. and its more than steinbrenner its a-rod cheating its the shit they give torre its the comeback of giambi its the fact that when they pan the fans in the stands you see eyes so big like theyve never won it before. its baseball crack.

with that said my favorite picture that i put on buzznet was this one in the window of a brooklyn dry cleaner of the 79 bronx zoo with a sweet pic of thurmon munson who everyone says kirby puckett was the last real baseball player, but id have to give it up to the yankee catcher who died in a plane crash.

and of course pete rose.

oh first week at buzznet you know i havent really slept. its 8:04am ive been awake for an hour and a half. im listening to maiden. im reading people talk shit about me and you know what, good. bono said in a recent interview that the difference between success in the usa from ireland is that in the usa we will see a big house on a hill the americans will sigh and say ah wouldnt that be nice to live up there one day, whereas in ireland they say im gonna beat the shit outta that motherfucker one day.

come and get me bitches for your whining and jealousy only keep you down.

i love how people are cracking up about Stuff on My Cat beating me. im cracking up about it too. when i finally get some free time i wanna put some pictures of that fucking page up here. yes its nice to get a reality check once in a while, however to that german dude whose also beating me who asked in my comments why im upset that a dude who only posts every three days is higher than me in the feedster 500, its because sure its quality over quantity, and i dont know german but im pretty sure youre not knocking out poetry. im pretty sure youre not feeding the masses the good shit every three days.

if i had a girlfriend right now shed be getting it good twice a day if not more. and if i took a day off shed be right to say wtf negro. and id say oh but isnt it quality not quanity and shed be right to elbow me in the eye. thats how we roll in the usa my friend. its quality And quantity which is why i might have to put out another book before Christmas just to show you whats up.

speaking of blooks. todays the day that my boss is gonna give me an hour off to send out all the autographed books that everyone paid me directly for. these are the autographed ones. and let me tell you that im totally sorry that its taken so long to get these out. like i said way back when, i went to ny, we got back the other night and the very next day i had to start my first day at the buzznet offices and i really couldnt say, uh can i have an hour to do my own personal shit? so im doing it today.

police and theives, pictured above got his copy through cafe press, miss ann ferris got hers during my trip and she said she read the whole thing in one day and loved it. if anyone else has positive reviews just email them to me or send in a picture of you reading my lil masterpiece and i will throw it up on the bloggy blog.

its 8:15am now and ozzy is singing killer of giants for me which is appropos because at buzznet we’re taking on some tough competition but its very fun to pretend that we’re Google during the peak of Yahoo, lurking in the shadows trying to figure out how to do things smarter faster better and cleaner.

one way is to have a stronger community which the busblog has been pretty good about and buzznet has been good at too. if youre in LA and you wanna go to the buzznet party tomorrow night drop me a line and i’ll give you the address.

but before i leave for the shower, let me tell you a little something about the month of libra which only has one day left in it, tomorrow. its a great month. its about love, not sex. and the epitome of this month is not so much the lovefest that went down when buzznet took manhattan but when weezer went on howard stern on monday.

now ive been lucky enough to get pretty close to weezer and ive seen a ton of their shows and i was invited to the gig tonight in santa barbara but i Have to sleep tonight because tomorrow morning i have a yahoo fantasy draft and then theres the big bash, but rivers is as shy as any person ive ever met.

that fucker got on howard stern and you could just tell how much he loves and respects the king of all media. and howard probably was told how nervous rivers can get so he took it easy on him on one level, but immediately he asked rivers about being celebate for the last two years and rivers answered right back and admitted it and talked about it and was the most confident that ive ever heard him ever. it was like he was talking to his hero, which maybe he was. and being a fan he knew that howard would latch on to anything sexual so after the band played Beverly Hills in the studio not a second passed before howard said, “wow, nice job, not even oral sex youre having with that sound.”

classic.

what was also nice was rivers did almost all of the talking, something i havent seen him do on mtv or anywhere, normally the other dudes do the talking and rivers hides out in the back and looks at his hands. but in this interview he answered pretty much everything, talked about the ups and downs of pinkerton and about the money they make and the fact that when he went to harvard after pinkerton he lived in the dorms for a while and loved it (he said he liked to be part of the community, and the availabilty of the dorm food) and how hes gonna go back there to finish his studies and live in the dorms again.

to me this could have only happened this sweetly in the month of libra. normally a very sweet, loving, soft, creative month.

i gotta say though, i never knew why rivers’s guitar playing was so good and why he seemed so intense at the kroq deal at the end of the summer, but if it was because of lack of sex then thats pretty amazing.

i think the world series starts today.

rainsdance + rockit + listen missy + ryan perry

the two best rock bands in LA are joining forces to stir some shit up.

Juliette Lewis and the Licks have chosen my friends and yours TSAR to open for them during the month of november starting with a halloween show in baltimore.

ive been lucky enough to see JL and the Licks twice and its like Iggy and PJ Harvey making love/having a fight right before your eyes.

infact i cannot think of a better pairing of bands in all of rock

floyd and zeppelin?

cream and hendrix?

christina and britney?

perhaps

but Tsar and the Licks is the shit and you should all be on your knees right now thanking your personal Jesus because if you go to this show i will promise you one thing

it will be hard
fast
loud
sweaty
intense

and afterwards youre going to want to fuck

ok, maybe thats more than one thing.

Juliette and the Licks with Special Guests TSAR!!!!

10/31 Baltimore, MD Ottobar
11/1 Pittsburgh, PA Mr. Smalls
11/3 Toronto, ON Lees Palace
11/4 Detroit, MI Magic Bag
11/5 TBA
11/6 Chicago, IL The Metro
11/7 Minneapolis, MN Triple Rock
11/9 Winnipeg, MB Pyramid Cabaret
11/10 Saskatoon, SK Louis Pub
11/11 Edmonton, AB Starlite Room & Victory Lounge
11/12 Calgary, AB The Warehouse
11/14 Vancouver, BC Richards On Richards
11/15 Seattle, WA Neumos
11/16 Portland, OR Wonder Ballroom
11/17 Eugene, OR John Henrys
11/18 San Fran, CA Slims
11/20 LA, CA The Troubadour

juliette at the sunset junction street fair + today i wrote my first post for the Buzz Blog

so lets give some shoutouts and tie up loose ends

my first shoutout has to go to ms aj goddard and her lovely partner in crime dannette who threw open their incredible brooklyn home to me for the majority of my stay and treated me with hospitality that is certainly not limited to the south.

in fact aj gave me her entire bedroom, a clean towel, and such good vibes that i was able to accomplish feats in that fair city that i never thought would be possible.

she also drove marc and me around, sold books at my signing, dined with us, and even took me to the airport. such a friend i do not deserve but i’ll take it.

of course i blew it by forgetting to leave her my metro pass, forgetting to thank her on my blog while i was out there, and i think i forgot to give her a copy of How To Blog, but hopefully by now she realizes that im a space cadet and nothing that i do is meant to intentionally slight someone – unless theyve got it coming. and the only thing aj has coming to her is more success as a professor and artist and writer.

the next shoutout needs to go to mrs amy langfield who gave me her futon when my original plans fell through. she also hustled my books over to lolita’s and tried to track down the missing box of books from ups. amy, for some reason the books made it to Hollywood – to my po box – which is why the deal said Front Desk.

ah ups tracking. thanks for telling us the box was in ny when it was in la.

a big shoutout to evil china girl who came out to meet me and introduced me to her super fun roommates. i am neither a handsome man nor very fun, but they all pretended that i was both, and i appreciate that.

mega shoutouts to the fat man who cut me a huge slice of pot cookies. i ate some that night and the next night and they were delicious. i gave the rest to ms goddard because i dont like to fly with natural products.

big ups to marc brown who sent me out there with him to press the flesh and get the word out that buzznet is the place to be. as a matter of fact if anyone has pictures of us at any of the events that we were at be it fat man’s party, the lolita party, or BlogOn, just email them to tony.tony.nyctrip@buzznet.com and they will show up in my gallery.

you dont have to be a buzznet user to contribute, however, senior busblog would sure be happy if you did sign up.

thanks to the woman at BlogOn for putting our party invite on the BlogOn page

many thanks to all the kids who arrived at Lolita’s, thanks to jason for hooking us up with the daily show ducats, thanks to my agent for the lovely meal, thanks to ann for offering to adjust my shakra.

thanks for all of the people who wrote on their blogs about my trip to BlogOn and who quoted me, and thanks to Blogebrity for mentioning me twice but not bothering to add “Tony Pierce” tags but instead made “Jeff Jarvis” tags. it is good to be in their “A-Listwatching” shortlist, so i guess i should be happy. nice redesign too although black is beautiful.

thanks to the cabbies of new york for stinking bad, not really knowing english, and suprisingly not ripping us off.

also thanks to all the crooks of the city for not mugging me.

i had an unbelieveable time

and the food was delicious.

its only thursday but im clearly having the best week ever.

swung on and missed + terry frazier + raymi

for your collective asses

jamie told me that yes indeed i insulted you when i said in his comments that i didnt recognize you with clothes on and im very sorry that that joke fell flat. im an idiot. ask anyone.

when i met you the other day at my booksigning/drinking contest i was blown away by how hot you are and how nice you were to me.

i dont know how much you know about me, but ive lived a very charmed life. like jamie, i have had the pleasure of knowning pretty much the hottest ladies of the world. you easilly rank in the top 5.

walking around new york these last few days ive been shocked at the wide spectrum of beauty in this town but you clearly have it going on and im so sorry that my little joke hurt your feelings.

to be honest i havent seen many of your pictures that jamie has taken of you because he posted them on flickr, and i work for flickrs competition buzznet, and most of the pics that he took of you that werent on fickr were nudes. so when you had clothes on i was all holy crap who brought in miss new york instead of thinking, holy crap its debroah!

ive also killed a shitton of braincells over the years so my memory isnt very good, and my memory of other peoples girlfriends is even worse, so again i apologize and i dedicate this post to you,

for who you are beneath your dazzling good looks,

and for what good things the future will bring you.

deborah today i went to 5th avenue and met with my book agent and she bought me lunch, which i understand is how the publishing world works.

we were both running a little late and left each other messages on our cell phones and it was all so very adult and you have now met me so you know im not really an adult.

which is why i ordered green eggs and ham.

actually it was her suggestion and typically im all, sure why not, no matter what the offer is.

so we ate we talked and out of it came a great book idea even though the meeting was to talk about two other books. because im an idiot i have resisted this whole process. like jamie, i like publishing my own shit and selling it to my readers. i also dont like splitting the pie up in too many ways. not because im interested in being rich, i just only like to pay people if they actually perform a service.

anyways my agent set me straight and told me that some people might not go to my web site and read me and get me and then go buy a book, but they might pick one up if its right there at the book store, and the point is to let these stories free, and once theyre free to get read they will get read.

we also talked about queen with the dude from bad company singing.

and since she also publishes sci fi and sex books we talked about those things too.

it was all very exciting.

debroah when i think of your name i think of the beck song. do you like that song? i listen to it almost every day and now that i have seen your pictures on flickr i am so very sorry that i have caused you pain because you were very sweet to me when we met and it kills me to think that i came to the big apple and i was destructive in any way. all i want to do on this very short ride is make people happy. so it hurts me to know that i made you sad, even for an instant.

you have a very good man in jamie and i hope he has gone through my archives and shown you what an idiot i can be and how sometimes my jokes arent very good so that you can see that indeed i was just trying to be funny and i failed.

if theres anything i can do to patch this all up i will.

even though the new book is going to be about bloggers, i will name it deborah if it put that smile back on your face.

west coast love to the east coast ladies who have been nothing but spectacular to me,

tony

yesterday was killer. i was hungover most of the day but i used to have a boss at Sears who said the good thing about being hungover is throughout the day you feel progressively better, whereas if you wake up sober you only feel progressively worse.

got to the conference at a leisurely 1:45p. listened to some i hate to say it boring panels while eating a roast beef sandwhich. as marc and i were getting ready to catch a cab to the Daily Show a very nice guy came up to me and introduced himself to tell me that hes been a fan for a long time. if theres one reason that i like these conferences its getting to meet the fans. i believe he told me that he worked at a pretzel store.

i know i dont get as many hits as jeff jarvis or the instapundit or Stuff on Cats but i get the right hits. i get read by super cool people, dudes who buy my saddam tshirts and hot chicks who will make out with me even with my morning breath. but if i had to pick one member of the audience that ive always wanted to appeal to its the dude at the pretzel store at the mall. no shit. its why i put up pics of sexy ladies, its why i occassionally reference popular sports, and why i talk about music. i love my audience and its nice to see that the feeling is mutual.

while waiting in line for the daily show we saw lewis black. i got his picture. then we called our buddy jason who writes for the show and he came down and we took the picture to the right. fucker still looks young and great. he was the editor in cheif of the nexus and i told him that one of the nice things about him writing for this show is, to me, its the natural progression of what we were all trying to do at the nexus – cover the news and party with it. jason was always a step ahead of us in the partying department, but he had a solid understanding of the news and comedy. im sure a lot of your favorite daily show moments are from him.

thanks for the tickets bro – and what a great show, i got to personally boo bill o’reilly, who was the guest of last nights show.

afterwards we took a taxi to the lower east side. we ate indian food with ms ann ferris who among other things is a channeller and medium. she said i had something wrong with my chakra right above my eye. i was all hmmm i dont know what that could be and then i told her about my meeting with my book agent this afternoon and i said could it be that i really dont want to write a book for a publishing house, that i just want to make my own books and she said she didnt know but she definately sees something that needs a little realignment

and i said is it that im a little gunshy about getting into a longterm relationship with a hottie and she said i dont know but we should really get this handled and i said is it that i and she said shhh we need a few minutes to do it and it will just come out. its fascinating but scary cuz im pretty sure the good book is against it but i totally wanted to do it right there and then but the restaurant was closing and i didnt want to blow off marc and aj who were with us so ann said she could do it over the phone of all things and me and marc and aj went to avenue a with the punkers and drank at a great rock club where the kid was spinning ramones and the dead boys and all your favorites.

later aj drove us home to brooklyn and even though i wanted to go to bed early i failed at that and didnt hit the hay until 2am. so now i have to may like a tree and get the heck outta here for a lunch meeting with the agent which im pretty sure is gonna be great. she has been really supportive of me for almost a year even though every house has said, pierce? fuck pierce. but theyre just pissed that i dont want to share the cut with them.

and ive learned several things.

– you really can talk for two days about a variety of different aspects about blogging
– blogging conferences should have extention cords and outlets just as available as chairs
– panels should be limited to one moderator, two panelists, a three minute intro, a twenty minute discussion, and a ten minute q & a
– anyone who takes the stage needs to come prepared with a joke
– blogging conferences should have really good wifi capable of handling all the bloggers in the room
– everyone should have to wear a funny hat on the last day of the panel

im pooped. i nearly fell asleep on the subway here. its gorgeous outside. in about an hour we will be at the Daily Show thanks to our good friend Jason Ross, former Nexite who has been writing for the show for several years.

tonight perhaps some indian food in brooklyn

maybe some drinks with the ladies from last night even though i just realized that only one of them was over 21,

i noticed that i rarely say my prayers before i pass out with a new babe so heres my belated prayer,

dear Lord,

thank you for everything youve given me. my cup overfloweth. im considering a super big gulp cup. i cant believe that you do all of this for me. i know i dont deserve it so i will do my best not to be a jerk about it. those girls last night were amazing. im not handsome. i dont know what these girls want with me. i wasnt even funny. i barely had anything to say other than wow cool tattoos.

also thank you for letting me meet all the cool bloggers and shakers at the conference. thanks for letting me meet some of my readers. i know i dont deserve any of that either. why are you doing this for me? is it to spread the Good News? fine, consider it spread.

you know i totally believe in you and i do my best to be a good person. for some reason i didnt buy condoms at the drug store because i had no idea what was in store for me. what you have taught me on this trip is: when i leave my house, everything is in store for me.

also thank you for letting me go to ucsb. i drank and smoked and partied and i was able to stay up super late and wake up pretty early and not make a fool out of myself – more than i usually do. thank you for letting me practice how to write over all of these years – its paid off better than if i had taken guitar lessons. plus i dont have to wear mascara.

also thank you for getting me this job at Buzznet. i think i will do a great job there. we have some competition which is great cuz i love competition.

also thank you for letting my book agent contact me today. i know ive been resisting writing a real book but maybe theres something down that path that you see and i dont. and maybe im being a lazy bastard.

thanks for all the great food ive been able to eat here.

please bless everyone especially the cubs

amen

i am iam. hungover and still sorta drunk from last night and its 11:20am and i still havent gone into work so this is gonna have to be a super fast ten minutes with tony so fasten your seatbelts.

lets start with the blogger party last night. the blogger buzznet tony pierce stiff signing last night. lets talk about how o’mcsomething AND LowerManhattanite showed up and one was black and the other was a woman blowing my mind because, well, after all their comments WHO KNEW? lets talk about how this dude Matt showed up wearing my saddam tshirt that says “saddam has been caught, i feel so much safer now” but not only was that bizarre cuz i didnt think anyone actually bought that shirt last year but he had worn it to law school and didnt even realize that we were throwing the bash until later that afternoon.

lets talk about how i met so many cool people i dont even remember everyones name. i met paul frankenstein, jamie and the stunning debroah who somehow looked better in real life – but everyone looks better in real life im noticing, these nice people who had the coolest business cards, a nice asian fella named john, two nice folks from madison wisconsin who were sent over by jeaneane, shit i hope i took pictures cuz now everything is getting hazy… and of course evil china girl and her friends. one of whom seduced me and made me late this morn.

and to think ive gone all these years without waking up with a girl with a toungepierce. hello brooklyn.

at the conference i met tish and steve hall, susan merritt, a dude from cafepress who promised to stoke me somehow, and so many more people, oh rick bruner and jeff jarvis and chris nolan. we all wanted a picture together so they saw jason calonis – i know im misspelling everyones names im sorry, im really hungover – and they said jason take a picture for us, and bro thought we wanted him in the picture cuz hes a supermillionaire now, but jeff was all no, Take the picture Take the picture and it was funny so he took two pics for us. if i knew it was him i woulda shaken his hand but im a moron. the dude seriously looks like hes still in college.

bruner told us where to eat in chinatown and it was gooooood. nyangnyung something like that. but i had to jet cuz my book signing was starting and how can you be late for that? amy (pictured with aj) and martin had come from brooklyn with my box of books and i think i sold like 7 thanks to aj hustling them, but now i have a big box of unsold books that im gonna have to mail back to LA. if i really get my shit together i can fill some orders from here. but as we’ve established im an imbecile.

and apparently a homo because last night there i was with this gorgeous italian girl and it was just so nice to just do everything but. such a cute girl. and the best part was like at 3am her phone goes off, an obvious booty call and i told her whoever that dude is hes an idiot cuz this shit is definately worth like at least a 1am booty call, certainly not a 3amer and she was all, thats why hes getting no play.

and the birds woke us up this morning and there was no clock anywhere and i was all i dont wanna know what time it is i dont wanna know what time it is and she was all i’ll find out and i was all please dont. and i was worried that marc would be mad that i was gonna be super late for my second day of work but thats why we love the good mc, he was hungover from last night too and was all, dude im not at the conference yet either and i was like killer bro i’ll see you around lunch time.

hopped in the car service and the piazzan goes how ya doin buddy and i was all did you see that chick at the door wrapped in a sheet? and he was all say no more. and i sorta just sat there in the back of the town car and i was all, how you doin? and he said, its a beautiful day, i got my sandwich and im in new york. and i couldnta said it better myself.

amy’s pics of the night + marc’s pics + mr frankenstein

so when i left the house i packed my mac, my ipod, my camera. pretty much everything except my power cord for my computer. so i see i have 33% of my battery left so i will make this short.

mr brown sent me to kinkos to make flyers for our party tonight. it was the kinkos near madison square garden. they were packed. they didnt seem to want to help tony pierce so i threw marcs name in there and they were all, so.

kinkos likes to take your credit card and keep it in their credit card reader as long as youre there. its an interesting way of doing business that doesnt take in account things like their printer running out of paper. the card machine just keeps taking money out of your credit card.

after about an hour and a half i had 80 little handout fliers and all was well. the whole time i kept thinking that i would have failed if this was the Apprentice. it was nice being outside and as much as i like this conference because EVERYTHING is about blogging and therefore right up my alley, new york is right outside and this city is definately fun being in the middle of.

when i got back to the copa they were serving lunch. chicken or veal sir? a little of both please. marc and i sat next to a lovely woman named dolly who does internet radio, and we sat next to a pleasant fella from yahoo.

marc got on him because the new yahoo blog search only returns flickr photos and not all photos. he was all, that would be like if you went to Google and all they returned were blogspot blogs. nobody would use that search engine again.

the dude was clearly not involved in that aspect of yahoo and i decided to play good cop and ask him if he knew jeff mcmanus and he said no.

little yellow different?

no.

it was then i realized he was a spy and i put a bug on his collar when i shook his hand. we will be tracking his every move in a few minutes.

during lunch the vp of technorati spoke. he gave a really good little deal because it was some powerpoint but some video and he was funny and it was an interesting topic with the theme being that the blogosphere is One Giant Brain. in the old days people were afraid of computers taking over, that they would think. nowadays corporations are afraid of bloggers telling the world that they suck. etc. so this guy was basically saying that those who are scared have a right to be scared but they still should figure out what to do in this new world where the Giant Brain will accept mistakes if theyre acknowledged and the corps can learn from the Brain as to what the solution should be.

the blogosphere is full of assholes i mean opinoins, so you should ask them more often.

i cleaned my plate but marc just poked at his.

afterwards i met mena from six apart and then we had desert.

now a dude from mcdonalds is speaking about the mcdonalds blog. who knew they had one? oh… its an internal one.

ok 25% so im out.

xoxoxoxo
dumbass

mena trott + chris nolan + hell box