the only good thing

about this little spurt of online dating that ive been doing is ive been seeing a bunch of movies. last night i went to see grindhouse at the vista.

shes rich and doesnt work so we went to the 430 show. we figured out why it was that grindhouse wasnt doing so well in the box office. two tickets, ten dollars total. thats right for five bucks a head we got to see two really good movies.

yes the rodriguez movie is better than the quentin film, but not by much. if youve never been scared by a zombie movie before, that streak will end.

meanwhile qts film was jesse jackson and al sharptons wet dream. a diverse collection of ladies beating the shit outta whitey.

another thing ive noticed over the last few weeks is that the girls who smoke tend to have better breath than the girls who dont. perhaps in overcompensating for their habit they make up for what could be a bad thing.

me i dont care what her breath smells like especially if she knows how to kiss.

LAist is getting an upgrade behind the scenes. servers, switchers, somethng, who knows. which is good because i think i went out almost every day this week and i could use a day off from work and uh watching movies.

after trying not to see a movie on a date we ended up at this other chicks house. she had the sort of weed that made you just sink into the couch. she was all, wanna watch a dvd? i was all, nah, a dvd requires that we commit for a whole hour and a half.

that freaked out by commitment, she joked?

touche, i agreed and told her to pop something in.

dirty love was the choice, something i would never have agreed to or decided upon since i believe it was given Roger Ebert’s lowest rating ever. he said something like it — let me find the quote — ah yes

Here is a film so pitiful, it doesn’t rise to the level of badness. It is hopelessly incompetent. It stars and was scripted by Jenny McCarthy, the cheerfully sexy model who, judging by this film, is fearless, plucky and completely lacking in common sense or any instinct for self-preservation.

Yes, it takes nerve to star in a scene where you plop down in a supermarket aisle surrounded by a lake of your own menstrual blood. But to expect an audience to find that funny verges on dementia. McCarthy follows it with a scene where the cops strip-search her and she’s wearing a maxi pad that would be adequate for an elephant. She doesn’t need to do this. It’s painful to see a pretty girl, who seems nice enough, humiliating herself on the screen. I feel sorry for her… This movie is an affront to cheese… I would like to say more, but-no, I wouldn’t. I would not like to say more. I would like to say less. On the basis of “Dirty Love,” I am not certain that anyone involved has ever seen a movie, or knows what one is.

when i lived with whalen from tsar and greg mcilvaine, jeff had a theory that movies that are totally creamed by the critics were oftentimes really good. at the time last action hero was a good example.

i thought of him as i laughed and laughed at dirty love and wished my date was as interesting as her dvd choice.

if she was a good writer i would have asked her to be our dvd reviewer at LAist.