sometimes i feel weird about being 101 years old

its usually after ridiculously free college girls come over to my bachelor pad with taco bell on easter night with diet coke and baccardi, and act ridiculously free and afterwards we watch mtv hd and talk about music,

and then its revealed that babygirl was born a few months before the beastie boys came to the greek with run dmc, dj hurricane, that one lady in the cage, just one record, and more importantly with cases of budweiser beer which they poured over each other, themselves, the stage, and the crowd.

you missed everything i teller as the glow of the tv illuminates my messy room, which wasnt nearly as messy as before she drove over

you missed the back in black tour you missed when the scorpions ruled you missed the twin tone rock before the storm and you missed grunge.

i didnt miss grunge she said and explained that she was at the nirvana concert at the forum with bob goldwaith and the butthole surfers

get out you were?

she reached over me to dip the cold chips into the cheeselike cheese which she ordered extras of. something i teased her about but now im grateful for cuz it isnt bad on bagels in the morning.

yes my mom took me and she cried during the acoustic part and i was so confused cuz why would you cry at a concert.

just like why would you obsess over age when theres chalupas waiting to be devoured.

Jesus through the eyes of Google

today being Easter, i thought it would be a good idea to blog a little about Jesus Christ, who many believe rose from the dead on this day (give or take) several centuries ago. thousands of years after his death, Jesus still remains one of the most influential and powerful men on Earth, and certainly in the USA.

one cannot, for example, believe that they can win the election for President of the United States unless one is a Christian, which is a belief that Jesus was and is God. Indeed one of the ways that detractors of Barack Obama’s campaign are using to try to raise doubt among Americans is to suggest that the senator is an omg Muslim. meanwhile some believe that because one-time front-runner Mitt Romney believed in an unusual sect of Christianity, Mormanism, that thats what turned him off to many conservative americans.

although it has only been around a few years, there are very few things online more influential than Google and its internet search. in this post i will be showing you the five top results when you type “Jesus” into Google and click the Image tab.

above is the #1 result which i believe also typifies most people’s ideas about Jesus. in this image he has no real details, he appears to be in Heaven or ascending into Heaven, he’s dressed in white, all is calm, but still there appears to be something Bigger that he is in the presence of.

this is Jesus the Son, as opposed to Jesus the Man or the Spirit or God. it’s an idea that many believers can probably feel comfortable with as it’s an overall approach to the subject, and one that probably best aligns with how they imagine the concept of Jesus.

surprisingly the #2 Jesus on Google is the “Black Jesus” depiction.

although there are very few physical descriptions of Jesus in the new testament, the one that many in the Jesus-was-Black corner lean on is from Revelation 1:15 that says: “And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and His voice as the sound of many waters.”

truth of the matter is Jesus was born in a part of the world that was the crossroads of the world, and much closer to Africa than Sweden. in fact days after he was born his parents hustled him to Egypt so he could escape King Herod who wanted him dead when word was sent to him that the King of Kings was about to be born.

also there was the fact that when Jesus was in hiding in Africa he was never identified and never stood out. coincidence?

did he look like the lenny kravitz dude in the painting to the right? probably not, but he also probably didn’t look like the blue eyed Jesus that we will see next.

And Jesus probably did have some African links – after all the conventional theory is that he lived as a child in Egypt where, presumably, his appearance did not make him stand out.

The New Nation takes it further: “Ethiopian Christianity, which pre-dates European Christianity, always depicts Christ as an African and it generally agreed that people of the region where Jesus came from looked nothing like Boris Johnson,” the paper says. As light-hearted evidence that Jesus was black, it adds that he “called everybody ‘brother’, liked Gospel, and couldn’t get a fair trial”. – BBC

to the left we have the so-called Classic Jesus. looking far more like an American hippie than a Middle Eastern or Egyptian man, this Jesus is a shave and a haircut away for posing in any number of Abecrombie or Gap ads. Looking up as if listening to God, he is peaceful and confident, and ready for whatever order The Father has for him.

the receding hairline doesn’t say 33 (the age he allegedly was when he was killed) as much as it says “im ready for my crown of thorns. lets do this thing”. but the long locks suggest sensitivity, rebellion, and anti-establishment.

it’s hard to believe that this image doesnt rank higher in Google, but maybe it’s because it’s such a typical portrayal, and thus lacks any edge.

speaking of soft, here’s the #4 return of Jesus on Google, the good shepard with his lamb.

whats interesting here is the rudimentary photoshop spotlight around the subject – a sort of cheesy halo effect.

whats missing is any middle eastern or north african features to the model. who needs history to tell you how to paint a historic figure?

although Jesus was known more for his preaching, turning over of moneychanging tables, and carpentry, the idea that he loved to hold baby sheep is a curious staple of artist renditions.

often you will see him with a sheep over his shoulder, or in this case as if it was an infant. never do we see him embrace the sick or the dead or the lost *people* of his life, it’s usually the barnyard crowd.

for some reason.

lastly we have the heart in sand with the word jesus image coming in at #5 on Google images.

it’s not the sultry sacred heart jesus,

it’s not the freaky and detailed heart of thorns jesus,

it’s not any of the countless baby jesus with mary images,

it’s not even the most famous of all the Jesus paintings – the last supper,
instead we get this simple dealie that could have been done by anyone at any time.

which might be exactly why people like it.

happy easter!

today is jennifer sherrys birthday.

shes 24. she has the coolest look the best voice and much better musical taste than all of yr friends minus me.

last year she interviewed me on her show on music plus tv and earlier this month at sxsw i was fixin to interview this one dude and this other dude went omg tony pierce and i was all thats me and he was all bro i was the producer of the music plus show that jenn interviewed you on and i was all please tell me shes here and he was all i dont know where she is and whatever he said after that my mind just wandered cuz jenns all that.

born in kansas where only the koolest kids move away from (johnny carson, zulekia, burroughs, max) jenn packed her bags right after high school and ended up working with me at E!

this was back in the day where brooke burke, jules asner, and alecia tyler roamed the halls but there were only two girls who id hope would pass by my desk each day – this news chick who looked like mariah carey and todays birthday girl.

this was back in the earliest days of the busblog when no one knew of tony pierce and i dont even know how i ever got the courage to talk with her but somehow we did and she was even cooler than i could have guessed and last year about this time the stars aligned and she an i sat next to each other on the planeride home from sxsw and we transfered planes in zona and missed the connection because we were drinking too much tequilla in the airport taqueria which was bueno with me-o thats for damn sure.

and if the stars woulda aligned this year i woulda said jen what about the cribs, what about the kills, what about the ting tings, what about care bears on fire, and she woulda said yeah but what about blah blah blah and i woulda been all damn girl i aint even heard of them and her blue eyes woulda sparkled and i woulda floated away

happy birthday mtvs shoudla been vj

whereever you be j

Matt Welch and others were asked some good questions on Mayor Sam this morning

here’s my bro’s answer to the question “Is TV or print media more impacted by the Internet?”

Interesting question. I’d guess print media, for the simple reason of price point. Broadcast media already knows it must be free to consume, unless it adds the kind of differentiating value (i.e., cussing and Adult Situations and hyper-specialization) that can graduate it to pay-cable or satellite radio. Newspapers, though, have institutionalized a half-century’s worth of inaccurate, monopoly-driven belief that they must cost money to be somehow credible. Even while (with a few exceptions) degrading their own physical beauty & failing to take advantage of the things that only tactile products can offer. Partly as a result of both, their print circulations continue to plummet, and even at this late date ink-stained curmudgeons openly ponder the insanely idiotic idea of throwing more content behind paid firewalls.

This kind of fat-headed mindset created an Original Sin that all newspapers save the UK Guardian and SF Chronicle have committed — fucking up their archives. Some time in the not-so-distant future, news organizations will make serious money out of the mere fact of having cajillions of individual Web pages of super-credible/interesting information, alongside which targeted ads can be sold. Besides leaving that advertising money off the table through the pound-foolish idea of selling archives, these news organizations — whose very selling point is their comprehensive intelligence — have willfully made themselves underrepresented on the place that matters most — Google. That’s a whole generation of brand-building just washed down the drain. Incredibly, incredibly stupid.

I’ll point to one other way that print media is more impacted — competitive mindset. TV is competitive across most markets and platforms. City newspapers are mostly uncompetitive, except for the global share of eyeballs. The bottom-up Internet, by definition, is hyper-competitive, even though the business stakes are usually much lower. On one side you’ve got “amateurs” happily toiling for free in the drive for more respectability and page views; on the other side you’ve got a bunch of morose monopolistic lifers who don’t try harder and who see the word “competition” as being roughly equivalent to “child pornography” — a degrading, definitionally harmful phenomenon. I am generalizing for effect, but only just. Read the woe-is-media criticism from any Legacy Media lifer — your Bill Kovach, Tom Rosenstiel, Len Downie, whoever. Competition is a dirty word, causing job-loss and degradation in quality. Almost nowhere do you see big-city newsrooms taking responsibility for their own failures. Compare that to the happy-warrior, individual-responsibility mindset of bloggers, and the phrases “irresistible force” and “immovable object” come to mind.

What most newspaper execs fail to realize is that they’ve got a gigantic built-in advantage in this new world. Leverage the things only newspapers can do — quality, ubiquity, depth, physical beauty/interest — set the product at 21st century prices (free), give each story a URL that lasts forever, embrace competition with the zeal of a convert … and you’ll run the table. But the mindset is the obstacle, and after having been on the inside even of a forward-looking section of a newspaper that’s trying hard right now to change cultures, I’m pessimistic.

i miss matt and emmanuelle very much and i hope DC appreciates who they have. i also wonder how awesome it would have been if he and i had worked together at the Times at the same time. anyways, one of the “imbeciles” shoving their content behind pay walls, oddly is ESPN.com, who ghettoizes some of their best blogs back there. why on earth would they do that to perfectly good bloggers?

anyways read all the rest of the Mayor Sam roundtable here, which by the way, left Zuma Dogg out of the discussion, for some reason.

speaking of Emmanuelle, she reminds us that yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of Cathy Seipp’s death. you’re still on my Facebook list, Cathy!

the LA Times is sorta on fire this weekend

interview with chuck philips, the LAT writer who knows all about 2Pac’s murder

many LA car washers get paid less than minimum wage, are illegal, and get treated like crap by the owners of the car wash

check to see if your neighborhood car wash has been fined before

iphone users: “It’s turned me from a really annoying know-it-all into an incredibly annoying know-it-all, with the Internet to back me up,” said Sadum, a technology writer in Denver. “It’s not a social advantage.”

the el camino is back, yo, but it probably wont be called that

the soldiers are not only ghost riding their vehicles in iraq, theyre video taping it

more questions from the kids

Mike asks: when’re you gonna get Magic and Worthy to start their own LA Times blogs?!

last time i checked magic has a lot of plates spinning: TGIF, Magic Theatres, Starbucks, Fatburgers… I’m not sure if he still owns and operates all of those things but he is also doing the AIDS stuff and he is at Laker games all the time. I’m not saying that other bloggers arent busy too, but when would he have any time to write?

As for Big Game James… he does a lot of TV work for the Lakers station, which keeps him pretty busy too. So i dont think either of those laker legends would be interested in blogging. i think they barely have time to admire their retired jerseys.

PatZ ponderz: what are your Final Four predictions.

ucla, stanford, tennessee, wisconsin

Dan pleads: can we have your archives back? please?

when we have three LA Times blogs that are getting over 1 million page views a month, yes. right now we have uno.

Bob D requests: Can you please provide us with your predictions for the MLB season? – Cubs record? – division winners? – World Series winner? – Fukudome’s stat line?

cubs will be (100-62); san diego, cubs, mets – angels, tigers, red sox; cubs will win it all, fukudome will hit .300, 25 hrs, 75 rbis, 20 sbs, 5 errors

Adriel queries: should i kiss him even if it’s mostly because i’m needing to forget about the last one?

hells yeah!

4rilla wonders: Wondering if you will be attending the Red Sox vs. Dodgers exhibition at the Coliseum?

hells no!

Phaedra axes: Smarties or M&M’s?

M&M’s have been a favorite of mine since I was a tiny little infant. I’m not sure if i have an Easter basket waiting for me from my mom, but if i do im sure she will have a few pounds of the lil fellas waiting for me in there.

so for sure M&Ms.

mmmmmmm

new fotos of madpony courtesy madpony enterprises

some questions from the readers of the busblog

and some answers

Tony, im having a hard time sleeping lately. I stay up late all night talking to this really cute girl and end up getting around 4 hours of sleep. do you think its worth it? – wesley vena

wesley,

your question touched me in such a way that i wrote a little poem/song about it.

voila:

butterflies and marigolds know nothing
they flut around and sing of this and that
cop cars chase around the bad guys
the fearmongers sleep with baseball bats

but its ok
yes its ok
oh its ok
to be in love

shes a dream girl
might be a stripper
but shes the kindest soul you know

and its ok
yo its ok
mmm its ok
to love

your helicopter leaves a trail of rainbows
her skateboard spreads skidmarks of glitter
your phonebill says ha ha youre poor now
but thats ok cuz you just found skype

so its ok
man its ok
bro its okay to be in love

sleep is boring
dreams are lying
pillows suck your brain at night

buts shes lovely
she likes weezer
her bff is out of jail

so its ok
fuckin a-ok
dude its ok to fall in love

its the springtime
of your content
its the boner in your heart

it is ok
damn right ok
angels sing all night bout love

call her earlier
buy a web cam
put it down your pants and type

say i love you
bitch i want you
fly out here and watch tv
bring your girlfiends
bring your short skirts
spend a month with me by the beach

cuz its ok
fuckin ok
truly ok to love

check out the interactive ncaa map via the la times

kareem abdul-jabbar has a blog on the LA Times

today he answered the question “Kareem, why are you always so angry”?

An excerpt:

One of the common myths about me was repeated last week when a friend of mine was playing in his weekly basketball league and a teammate asked him, “Why was Kareem always so angry?” That’s not the first time I heard this charge. What’s weird about it is that every morning when I get out of bed, bluebirds, squirrels, and deer help me get dressed while we sing “We Are the World.” By the way, squirrels really suck at tying shoes. And deer often mumble the lyrics.

Even that doesn’t make me angry.

What’s interesting about the question is that the person who asked the question is white. In fact, no black person has ever asked that question. That’s because they already know the answer.

you can read the rest here on the Kareem blog.