tonight im gonna see an incredible band with ali

raymi: why do some things suck?

to remind us how awesome we are.

5chw4r7z: Since you’re a baseball fan, is this gonna be the Reds year?

the reds? youre gonna need to keep that cuban arroyo winning games. votto needs to get it together once he gets off the DL. willie tavares could really be something if he could get on base, but he hates getting hits. jay bruce seems to have only one way to swing: for the fences. bros hitting .229 with 14 homers. other than that theres no infield and only one iffy closer. the reds will be lucky to win half their games.

vinny: Now that the blackhawks are out, do you think Detroit has enough squid to win it again??

yes this will be detroit’s year. also the lions will win three full games.

katie: who would win in a fight, lil wayne or snoop dog? why?

snoop dogg might be a stoner, but hes also a pimp and a native of the lbc. they dont play. he claims that hes part of N.W.A even though hes never been on one of their albums – but no one corrects him. which might show you how badass he is. meanwhile lil wayne is lil and his pants keep falling off. one slap in the grill and games over.

matt: deep dark question for the day: what is normal? would you recognize it if it passed you on the sidewalk? Is is good or bad? (ok, that’s three questions, but they’re at least related)

normal is what you dont recognize when you pass it on the sidewalk. normal is good only if youve had too much not-normal to deal with and you need a reference point to match up with your subconscious. everything has its place. everything is important. normal is fine – in moderation.

Someone you know, hiding: How in the world do you deal with a break-up that you don’t want to happen, but can seem to avoid? Am I just unlovable?

break-ups are a normal part of life. seemingly being slightly out of control is also normal. this goes for the lovable and unlovable. but since even hitler was loved by some, the odds are just as good for the rest of us that unfortunately others will probably love us too. which will lead to happiness, strife, and then another break up. so get used to it. one day the person who loves you will just be too tired to try to upgrade, and thus youve met yr soul mate. nickname him or her Lazy and put a ring on it.

g/d: little angel or little devil? and on which shoulder? left or right?

since we have already allowed lil devils in our inner ears and we tune into their every word, take the little angels off yr shoulders and put them in the inner ears of the lil devils to make them feel horrible for trying to make our lives crappy.

Lindsay: Will I ever convince anyone to love me forever and always?

anyone who has ever seen you in a bikini in palm springs already loves you forever and always.

monkey: What does it mean to dream about one’s hair falling out?

it means you believe the hype that bald men are more virile and wise and you want to be with us. which is sweet. keep dreaming.

Matt Welch: Who should we stop paying attention to?

people who say “this is why newspapers are dying” and then blah blah blah all over their quaint little bs blogs.

Murray: What band do you love who put out a record last year but you didn’t discover them until this year?

Okkervil River. by far. above is a song called “singer songwriter” here are the lyrics

Your great-grandfather was a great lawyer,
and his kid made a mint off the war,
your father shot stills and then directed films
that your mom did publicity for.
I saw your older sis on the year’s best book list,
and your brother, he manages bands.

And you’re keen to downplay
but you’re quick to betray
with one well turned out wave of your hand,
you come from wealth,
yeah, you’ve got wealth.
What a bitch they didn’t give you much else.

I heard cuts by The Kinks on your speakers,
I saw Poe and Artaud on your shelves.
While The Last Laugh’s first scene
on your flat panel screen
lit Chanel that you’ve wrapped around yourself.
You’ve got outsider art by an artist who arguably kidnapped a kid on your wall,
while your designers have slyly
directed the eye down clean lines in your well-lit hall.

You’ve got taste, you’ve got taste,
what a waste that that’s all that you have.

You wrote your thesis on the Gospel of Thomas,
you shot some reversal film in Angkor Wat,
and this book you once read
says there’s less people dead
at this point now than those who are not.
And this film we once saw was reviled for its flaws,
but its flaws were what made us have fun.
And the life some folks had might have made us feel bad,
why feel bad man, it’s nothing that you’ve done.
It’s all in your hand, it’s all in your hand,
like a gun, like a globe, like a grand.

And this thing you once said disappeared from my head
in the time that it took to be amazed.
And this thing you once did might have dazzled the kids,
but the kids once grown up are gonna walk away.
And your world is gonna change nothing
And our world is gonna change nothing

keir: What does it mean to dream about one’s hair growing back?

it means you are starting to understand why i hate dreams so much, since theyre lies told to us at our most fragile. and it means you hate hats.

Joe: Is it safe? Is it safe?

its so unsafe. sooooo unsafe. how unsafe? heres a hint: everyone dies in the end. everyone one. men women children, even the animals. some of us turn into food, some just end up huge messes. but we all die. theres nothing more unsafe. nothing.

timmay!!!!!: should i stay or should i go?

make them drag you out of there. and taunt them as they threaten you.

Aaron: Will a Kobe vs. Lebron series make for the best championship in recent memory? Do you care about the first Stanley Cup rematch since the early 80’s?

yes. but lebron joining the lakers would make for the best dynasty in recent memory – which would be a lot better than this finals that we’re going to have to deal with. especially since the lakers are poised to sweep dwight et al. no one cares about puck in america. unless we’re trying to impress canadian girls.

Andrea: Do you have a new feed? My reader stopped getting updates from the busblog. And least favorite household chore (mine is dishes)?

i do have a new feed. sorry i didnt make a bigger deal out of it, but there you have it.

my least favorite household chore is calling my maid. i dont like small talk and i am incredibly embarrassed talking to the one person who knows how filthy and disgusting i am. she seems to really like me despite knowing all my dirty secrets, and that makes me even more uncomfortable. but not enough that id do my own dishes or clean my own toilet.

top photo of raymi by fil

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