chris brown went on youtube yesterday to apologize

for beating up his xgf

if i was chris brown i wouldnta done that. if i was chris brown i would do a few things.

here they are in order.

1. join the peace corps
2. while he waits the year to get in, build houses for habitat for humanity
3. be celibate for a year
4. record a cd with all proceeds going to a battered woman’s shelter
5. quit making youtube videos
6. go to state fairs and sit in the dunk tank and give that money to charity
7. swear that you wont be doing any MTV reality shows for 10 years
8. get a tattoo that says “im so sorry Rihanna”
9. do a pay-per-view event where you let Jay-Z hit you in the stomach 20 times
10. date tila tequila

ashleys favorite grocery store in hollywood was Jons

not to be confused with Vons

in fact one reason she liked it so much was because the logo and name seemed to be ripping off Vons, however inside the store was what she called “a ghetto” version of the supermarket chain.

i was at a Jons last night and yes the store is smaller than its competitor, the parking lot is tinier, and there are less aisles, but when the store manager saw that there were lots of people waiting in line for the two open lanes, he turned on the light of the express lane and opened it up. “no need to wait,” he said when i thanked him.

all i was there to purchase was some body wash – sorry, “shower gel”, while the woman in front of me (the woman so large she needed a cane) plopped two 40 ouncers and a bottle of a pre-made cocktail onto the conveyor belt. and a bag of chips.

i took a picture for the world and wondered why anyone would want such a collection of food and beverages for dinner.

when i got home i received a phone call from someone very dear to me

and when i was finished with the conversation, i understood.