today is @ev’s birthday

without him id still be slangin cane out my hooptie

before he turned twitter into the worldwide phenomenon it is today, ev lead a small group of whiteboys down the path that would later be known as

which has lead to all of this.

before blogging i was lost. i was broke. i rode a bus. and i was rudderless.

almost instantly after i discovered ev’s invention the skies opened up and bestowed upon me all the riches and blessings that any man could ever wish for

(except for Cubbie domination, spiritual enlightenment, and the retention of that sweet ‘fro)

its hard to remember the last guy since thomas edison who has ushered in not one but two culture-changing inventions.

hes the secret reason kids are off of school today.

happy birthday ev and thank you.

sk smith leaves wonkette

“to spend more time with her family”

clearly she was nervous that she wouldnt be re-elected or something

this is a sad day for we Wonkette readers who waited patiently for sk to return from pushing through that baby

and now look shes gone, justlikethat

i was just talking about sk yesterday at lunch

im psychic, i swear, someone should burn me

seriously i wonder what sk is gonna do with that ivy league degree, great looks, and biting wit?

hopefully she will be writing for a kardashian reality show soon

to quote one of the many fans in the wonkette comments section this is “mourning in america”

my favorite memory of wonkette with sk? this image when all three of the wonkette women reunited for the christmas special