new yorker gets in the car says how long till we get to the Grove

benzit was rush hour, we were on the other side of beverly hills

and the Waze said 17 minutes.

17 minutes i told him.

he says i’ll give you $20 if you can get there in 11 minutes.

so i peeled out and said, hold on on bro

the problem with trying to get from one side of beverly hills to the grove is theres no easy way.

theres so many ways the traffic flow blocks you.

just getting to La Cienega is rough. mostly because of 3rd Street.

and of course all the olds who drive their cars so gingerly and cautious

as if theyd never taken the route before. JUST GO ALREADY you say at every stop sign.

but once you make the Uturn on La Cienega to get through the neighborhoods that amber once lived in you

oh crap, i have 2 minutes to get through the neighborhood? i’ll never make it

so i got on 3rd street and its jammed and because its not yet 7pm i couldnt turn left anywhere

so i try and try and at one point theres something very dangerous i could do

or i could wait like a a patient, responsible man

btw the passenger in the back was enjoying my trip

he had one hand on his phone, doing business deals (which were fascinating)

and one hand on the handle of the roof.

so of course i try the super dangerous thing!

but a truck turned the corner and stifled my move.

good try the guy said, adding, thats some weird puerto rican cabbie shit right there.

after the truck passed i went for the danger again

because who cares about life limb and cops

and we sped through the alley behind the sandwich shop and went the wrong way through

the farmers daughter

and boom, the grove.

still on the phone the dude pulled out his wallet and even though i didnt make it in time

he still gave me the $20 because i tried my hardest.

when he got out and shut the door i drove off

and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed

because that was so fun.

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