and thats sweet.

Stiff is its own beast. Stiff knows know master. we all thought we finally gained control over it by naming it, then finding a cute collar to tie around its neck, then finding five more collars to yoke it in

but Stiff is nobodies bitch.

Stiff’s gonna come out when Stiff wants to come out. its like a cat under an abandonded car. you can get a towtruck if you want to drag the car outta there but the cats just gonna scoot under a house or into the woods.

ive been trying to get Stiff to come out since the summer. its the best thing ive ever done. and these covers are totally kickass.

i tried to tempt Stiff the other day by beginning to compile a new Busblog’s Greatest Hits in the style of How To Blog and Blook but it just yawned and blinked at me.

it knows its a demon from hell here to tell you a few things about a place you shouldnt know about. it knows know deadlines or timetables.

and it wanted canadian rockstar matthew good to move a few more units.

when Stiff comes out you’ll know about it,

and for those of you who dont have How To Blog it will probably also be included in a twofer special package deal where you get How To Blog at a discount because How To Blog is a dirty little ho who loves to get sold cheaper than its worth.

and there might be a tshirt or two.

and a bumper sticker.

Stiff knows its gotta eat soon so stay tuned but in the meantime thanks for asking.

in other news tomorrow is karisas last day living in hollywood and shes gonna have a big party and noone is invited except me and the laker girls.

but i will bring my camera and i will bring my podcast device and i will bring about a case of corona her favorite beer

and i will bring a bunch of questions for her so as to reminice about her time in hollywood.

where is she moving? shes moving towards the beach and away from me.

this was supposed to be the month of Libra, the good month, the month of good tidings and peace and love.

astrology seems to be a twisted and flawed jumble of nonsense and hyperbole whose sole intention is to make me look and sound like an ass.

the lack of karisa in hollywood is certain to ruin the movie industry once and for all. what you saw this summer was the disturbance in the force. whats to follow is bound to bring utter devistation.

when you pray tonight after you stumble home from your extra ciricular activities you need to say a few words to the Lord about tinsletown who is about to lose its patron saint.

its raison d’ etre

its sparkling cold coors party ball

its most shining star.

when me and karisa were bad + spo + killer kosh + brett lamb

you can yell you can chat you can joke you can rap but you cant say

never mind the man behind the curtain

you can swear that nothing in here is true but if you even allude to being blue people will automatically feel sorry for you

and sometimes you just wanna tell the story and sometimes the story isnt a happy one

even if it ends happy even if it starts happy even if the people are good and the truth is told and the jelly rolls.

sometimes you wanna whisper something really scary but sometimes if you whisper its heard super loud and clear

sometimes you dont wanna be so clear which is why you wanna whisper

sometimes you wanna just say what you wanna say to some one and just have someone hear it

blogging and writing and talking is a lot like bird calls to me

sometimes youre not saying i wanna get laid

sometimes youre not saying hey look out for the crow hiding in the palm tree

sometimes youre not saying you guys got any acorns stashed away

sometimes you just wanna say can anyone hear me.

i went from super high to super low in a matter of minutes today

i drove around just driving in circles like a slowmotion cop chase minus the copters minus the spectator and minus the cop cars

ended up at one of those buck chinese places that are scary to some but i know im gonna die so i may as well have some green bean chicken kung pao pork and double flied lice to go

and she said four twenty

i was at the sunset and highland chinatown express where its cash only and i dipped into my wallet and noticed i had nothing but a guitar pick from inland invasion in there and i said excuse me but do you have an atm and she walked me out the door and pointed at the big red sign a few storefronts down and its flashing atm sign.

cruised down there and went inside and it was i shit you not a massage parlor

now tony pierce has been down before but not this far down in a long time and i went inside and asked where the atm was and it was in the foot massage area that smelled real nice and you could see all the doors and curtains and

they had a little indoor waterfall and pleasant music

and it wasnt like i had anything to go home to

except you

and believe it or not but ive got a few bucks socked away for a rainy day and it sure as shit rained today and i overheard this one dude asking how much a massage was

and i heard the lady say something but i couldnt make it out

and i heard him say well how much for a half hour and she said twenty five

and i was thinking shit i got twenty five and i might even have an extra twenty for the happy ending that i keep hearing about

and if ever there was a time, cubfans, that this little blogger could use either a deep deep massage to make everything better

or just the hands of a nice woman on his back and front and lord knows where

it was tonight.

but even at my lowest point im a good boy and in hollywood even the chinatown express isnt on the up n up sitting there all innocent n shit across from the carls jr jr

kitty korner from the abandonded mcdonalds that had no reason whatsoever to close down but closed down anyway

shadyness all over that shit allover everything

and sometimes you wanna whisper

and sometimes you just wanna drive all night with cypress hills black sunday on repeat

down sunset

on automatic

without a joy in the world.

phil donahue destroys o’reilly + sexoteric + hey bloggers, you can see Serenity for free!