yesterday i admitted meeting miss spain universe
i first met miss spain universe, mar’a jesos ruiz garz-n, in a topless tapas joint in madrid in january 2000.
she didnt know the place was a topless tapas establishment either, but we both took off our shirts and cozied up to the bar.
i was there with two dozen of my closest friends to see rock group tsar.
there being spain, not the topless tapas place.
mar’a asked me if i was americano
i said, si.
she asked me if i liked my tapas
i said, si.
she asked me if i liked her cunt-
then she coughed
country
and i said
si.
she asked me if i knew more spanish than just yes and no and i said
si.
she asked me what other words i knew.
i said, burrito, taco, guacamole…
she said, we dont have those things here.
i said, si.
so we simply slowdanced to the spanish guitars and i sang her a little song that i made up there on the spot.
i sang
spanish girl
in all the world
i want a spanish girl
she doesnt know
how much i weigh in pounds
she doesnt care
that im 108, 108 years oooooold
oooooh my spanish girl.
she sighed and looked at me with eyes of a girl falling madly in love
as the twinkle lights of the disco ball rained possibilities
and the lines began to form outside the dunkin’ donuts across the pallazo.
she said, i know how much pounds you weigh.
i said, what about the metric system.
she said, yes, but i know.
i said, ah.
she said, si.
and i smiled.
and i tilted my head to the exito
and she said si.
and we left into the madrid night forgetting our shirts
and not giving a muchas gracias.
art waif + the detox + sugarbaybe + top pic of amy collins