who counts these things. finally they sent me a thank you card and offered me a free pay-per-view if i filled out a survey online. it’s about time, i have total choice, the local channels, the football, baseball, and basketball package, and hbo. plus for a few years i had my own company that specialized in hooking up directv satelite dishes.

one pay-per-view movie? youre too kind.

but its cool. im addicted. i dont ask my heroin dealer for a few free grams. i dont ask my arms dealer for a free machine gun. i dont ask my senators to put free condoms in the shopping malls of california. i consume, i pay, im satisfied.

this weekend courtney love is, reportedly, going to spend 24 hours on MTV-2, one of my favorite channels. if i know MTV-2, they’ll let coutrney play anything she wants. just other day they had the Jay-Z unplugged concert on. i love that station. they had a Hives concert that was amazing. they let that fat tattooed punk rocker deliver the news, beautifully. it’s almost like they took everything good that MTV isnt doing and stuck it on the sister station.

there are some networks that i would like to see on my directv, if theres any billionaires out there looking to form a channel. i want a live car chase channel. in LA theres always car chases. they break into local programming and the cops always get their man, but its really entertaining.

i would want them to give us details about the neighborhoods that theyre speeding through, details about the car that theyre chasing. comedians could make jokes. the cross promotion and ad potentials are boundless. then when there arent any live chases, you could show us some classic ones. then when theres none of those, you could just feed in some survielence cam stuff. who doesnt like to people watch? thats all it is.

right now i would like to have a shot of venice beach. then in 5 minutes show me miami beach, then show me waikiki beach. then show me the mexican border. reality tv network. just make me vp in charge of programming and we’ll call it even.

i was late to work today because they were spreading a red carpet on hollywood blvd in front of Mann’s Chinese Theatre and all the busses freak out. youd think it would be simple enough to just cruise around the block, but no, they completely freak out and everyone was late.

i think today on reality carchase tv we could all watch the red carpet get laid out. i watch stupider stuff on tv.

Voodoo Lounge

Rolling Stones Records/Virgin

“Blinded by Rainbows”

(M. Jagger/K. Richards, 1994)

Did you ever feel the pain

That he felt upon the cross

Did you ever feel the knife

Tearing flesh that’s oh so soft

Did you ever touch the night

Did you ever count the cost

Do you hide away the fear

Put down paradise as lost

Yeah you’re blinded by rainbows

Watching the wind blow

Blinded by rainbows

Do you dream at night

Do you sleep at night

I doubt it

Did you ever feel the blast

As the semtex bomb goes off

Do you ever hear the screams

As the limbs are all torn off

Did you ever kiss the child

Who just saw his father shot

Do you ever shed a tear

As the war drags on and on

Do you ever touch the night

Or is it just another job

Do you feel the final hours

Put down paradise as lost

Yeah you’re blinded by rainbows

And faces in windows

Blinded by rainbows

Do you dream at night

Do you sleep at night

I doubt it

Do you ever fear the night

Could it be the war is lost

Do you fear the final hour

Do you kneel before the cross

You’re blinded by rainbows

And watching the wind blow

Blinded by rainbows

Do you dream at night

Do you scream at night

Do you smell of fear

Is your conscience clear

Are you caked in sweat

Are your clothes all wet

Do you see the light

Is the end in sight

See the face of Christ

Enter paradise

I doubt it

by tony pierce

the reverse cowgirl was at the la press club drinkfest and wanted to ask me why i felt shunned that the LA Times didnt interview any LA bloggers for their California Living section feature on blogging. she says that she was afraid that if we didnt get along i wouldnta asked her to have lattes with us later. somehow i thought 6’2″ supervixens, who wrote very sexy things for a variety of publications wouldnt be intimidated by lil ole me and my friendly come-hither ‘fro. i guess we were both wrong.

a peppy blog called “day old bread store,” linked to me about something i wrote a few days ago. appropo.

fat nathan loved the fact that i linked him in a primo part of my blog. he said it was like the feeling he got hitting his first homer in little league. skinny guys like me never had that feeling, but im glad he was happy. im pretty big with fat guy readers, im starting to see.

a los angeles gay guy agreed with me about the l.a. times sucking. he has a cat called Big Puss and Little Puss which reminds me of Karisa’s Bad Kitty and Good Kitty. Good Kitty, she tells me, is acting mighty gay, humping his brother and all. i told her, maybe he’ s just pussy-whipped. and i laughed and laughed. but she didnt laugh. ashley tells me my jokes suck. i caught her covering her ears the other night.

laughing boy straight outta massachusettes, predicts that i will be dating Apple spokesperson ellen feiss by thanksgiving. although it’s true that i do have an attraction to the pasty, stoney, blue eyed dreamy types, meesh and moxie can tell you that due to my terrible ego, i get very competitive to hot babes who not only have better websites than i, but who also have own fan sites! fall from grace a little, ellen and then maybe i’ll change my mind. with that said, i am quite popular among the massholes. gratefully.

this superhot 23 yr old from austin has me in her links section and i have no idea why.

these superhot goth twins from san antonio still hate me, but keep my writings in their archives, and i really cant understand why either of those things are true. maybe texans are loco. hopefully sara will conclude something along those lines after she has settled down a spell.

her nickname is fat sarah but you can tell by her photo essay that she doesnt live up to her name. but sarah says hi to me vurtually, over at the dub side. right back at you, spartan girl. told you i do well with fat folks.

xfoo thinks im amazing. what i think is amazing are those blue periods.

and finally i learned that im this guy’s number one referal. even when he’s not putting up pictures of hot babes next to his posts, he still whips my ass. and i love how he has a real-time referall log that seems to publish (also in real-time) right to his page. magic!

p.s. anyone who wants to pick me up at my house tonight after work and drive me across the street from zancau chicken to pick up my laundry should email me. cuz then i’ll be their best friend.

for most of my life i remember Bob Greene as the nostalgiac-infested milquetoasty columnist for the Trib, and not surprisingly i never liked him as a writer.

until saturday.

saturday squeaky-clean bob green, so much a goody-two-shoes that he makes the narrator of The Wonder Years sound like Marilyn Manson, handed in his resignation to the Tribune after an anonymous email (that did not mention Greene’s name) led management to believe that the columnist had an “inappropriate” sexual relationship with a teen girl of legal consentable age several years ago.

bob greene, who makes bob costas look like ozzy osbourne, allegedly met the girl while doing a story, took her out to dinner, and engaged in sex, the Trib reports today. everything was cool until the woman tried to reach greene twice this year, according to the Trib, who in retaliation sicked the FBI on her!

that prompted the email, most would suggest, which prompted the investigation by Trib Corp’s HR dept. and the Trib’s managing editor, and very quickly Greene’s resignation.

but my question is, what are they not telling us?

since when is a columnist having sex with a barely legal girl reason enough to step down from a artistically mediocre but wildly successful syndicated career that included reporting for “Nightline,” “Oprah,” and AP? didnt our last President have sex with a young woman of legal age and got to still be President? is writing for the Tempo section of the Trib a more honorable and refined profession applicable only to the highest echelon of chicago society– or at least those without sin?

Greene was, ironically, hailed for several columns and a series that he wrote for the Trib denouncing child abuse which made him a great guest for Oprah whenever she wanted to talk about tortured and exploited children or child abuse. With a gigantic career based upon an aw-shucks tone of blue collar tales of midwestern values, couldn’t one little fling many years ago get absolved after a teary apology and a heartfelt acceptance by his huge, loyal, forgiving following?

or was it more than just a little fling?

i smell something curious in chicago.

so we head over to the Tribune’s arch-rivals, the Murdoch-owned Sun-Times, who today reports that Greene’s 1984 book “Good Morning, Merry Sunshine,” about his daughter’s first year was released to the surprise of many of his colleagues who, the Sun-Times claims, didn’t know he was married or a father. say what?

equally mysterious comes from the NYT which writes, “The dismissal of a journalist for personal conduct, as opposed to professional lapses, is uncommon,” and they include a snippet from the Tribune spokesperson, who suddenly doesn’t want to speak.

“Gary Weitman, a spokesman for the Tribune Company, which publishes the newspaper, said yesterday: ‘We’re not going to say anything more than what the statement is. He is no longer an employee,'” reports the paper of record.

some spokesman.

my favorite quote from this midwestern meltdown comes from my favorite shock jock, steve dahl, who paved the way for howard stern so smoothly that dahl is the only active dj who stern doesn’t diss.

from the Sun-Time: “Popular radio host Steve Dahl, who, with Sun-Times columnist Neil Steinberg, made comic fodder of Greene’s often-sentimental columns in a weekly ‘Bob Greene Watch’ segment on WCKG-FM (105.9), said he was surprised by Sunday’s announcement.

” ‘I always thought he’d get fired just for being a bad columnist,’ Dahl said.”

Exactly. But now Greene is suddenly interesting. His resignation has left those at Romenesko’s letters section scratching their heads and me wondering why Murdoch hasn’t scooped up this good-boy gone bad.

The main reason i disliked Greene was because he always seemed so sticky sweet and fake writing about the wonderfulness of this checker game in the park, with this story about a woman who has made americana bunting for 35 years. Greene is a guy who went on the road with Alice Cooper in ’75, why would he bore us with middle of the road snooze fodder despite walking the same halls with the dean of chicago columnists Mike Royko? hadnt he learned anything?

well now i want Greene to come clean. i want him to show the world that he is a writer. writers cover both sides of the human experience, good and bad, and columnists are given the wonderful benefit of including their own personalities into their narrative. warts and all. Finally Opie has a wart, a huge one, apparently, and i want to see it.

Squeeze that mother and tell us all about it, bob greene, just like your forefathers would have done, just like you probably are dying to do, just like everyone wants you to.

finally you have found something worthwhile to write about.

you think a middle aged man getting all worked up over a 18 or 19 year old girl isnt something that happens from time to time in the midwest? you dont think that the guilt that must have followed this veteran writer wasnt unbelievable? you dont think theres any modern day drama that includes phone calls and emails from the young woman which culminates in the FBI and an anonymous email to the tribune’s website tip line?

bob, if you dont write this down and submit it right now, then you really dont know much about what is newsworthy or interesting, or timely and my man steve dahl is right, you probably should have been fired a long time ago.

i know it might be embarrassing. but that never stopped you from writing all those bad columns and appearing on oprah.

{update: Instapundit, who is always on top of these things, has a link to Boomer-bashing column about this matter. Scalzi also agrees with me that Greene talents were minimal, and adds that the writer “telegraphed” his daliance in a novel he wrote about several men leaving their families to hit the road and find themselves… and hot babes.

i say that will earn you another night’s stay at the casa del vista.

the daisy princess brought both the bears and the raiders good luck this weekend and i told her that her reward would be a milk shake at johnny rockets on melrose and a sweet blog entry all about her.

ashley is a superhero of her own. all the cool kids love her. as you might know, we have a pretty special relationship. i let her date other dudes and i only get sorta jealous, she lets me date and when she gets in my house she goes straight to the caller ID and says “who’s this? who’s this! OMG get enough calls from this girl?” i think it’s funny.

on saturday me and jeanine went down to the historic jewelry district of downtown LA and we picked up some jewels to make my mom a necklace for her 60th birthday, which is coming up. as a beverly hills jeweler, jeanine travels downtown once a week and knows her way through the maze of bizarre bazaars. everyone has codes on their merchandise. when we found something and asked the lady how much, she looked at the three letter code and came up with a number. it was fascinating.

i think we got a pretty decent deal, and great quality and then jeanine made it that night. and on the side she made ashley a necklace which we surprised her with on sunday afternoon. unfortunately my camera is still in the shop, but i will be happy to post a picture or two later this week when ashley uploads pics from her cam.

sunday morning we had breakfast and watched the bears eek out a win over the falcons. then we picked up her necklace and zoomed over to drew barrymore’s favorite burrito place and made it back to my house to watch the new anna nicole episode (have i mentioned that i think her lawyer, howard k. stern is a massive dweeb? almost ruins the whole show.) and then we watched the incredible Sopranos season premiere. then we watched the chris rock “bigger and blacker” show from ’99 which ashley had never seen somehow and she loved.

we adjourned to the boudoir as we both had to wake up early this morn. ashley is a perfect angel at dawn. such a natural beauty. she chirps good morning. she sings little melodies. she clears the tables of wine bottles and taco shells before i can even get out of the shower. its sorta like dreaming. she pulls a brush through her hair and the glitter is activated. we drove to my office this morning and first i wanted to fill her tank with some gas and i swear to you, this hooker is in the mini market at the gas station, and she says, “honey, would you mind driving me down just a few blocks?” and i said that i wouldn’t mind, but the girl who checks my caller ID might.

she laughed. the armenian behind the cash register laughed. the two mexican girls purchasing frappuchinos in their plaid skirts laughed.

then the armenian said that my pay pal credit card was denied. then everyone laughed again. except for the hooker.

and me.

the armenian said, “for you, tony pierce, i give you $12 gas on the house because you make me laugh so much.” the girls gave me one of their frappuchinos and the hooker showed me her g string.

aren’t you happy nothing in here is true?

not unless you kill me first.

i thought you were a gentleman.

gentlemen dont get laid, anna.

au contraire, i’ve known gentlemen.

betcha theyre not any more.

shoot me in the face, baby.

it’s just tennis, honeybunch.

you have no idea how it feels.

to be rich, gorgeous, blonde, twenty one, and famous? sure i do. ive had orgasms.

it’s terrible. losing. its the opposite of your joke. it’s like being impotent. the goal is right in front of you and you cannot acheive it. and you never acheive it.

have you been drinking anna?

no.

you should, you sound terrible. monotone. insane. youre twenty one. capriatti got it together, and what is she 40?

i look at bridges in a much different way, recently.

thats a mighty pretty plate they gave ya.

yeah, but the winner got a real ming vase.

youre kidding me.

nope.

fuck.

i was thinking about elbowing it.

i woulda married you.

whoops.

if it makes you feel any better, i found a guy who does what i do better than i do.

nobody writes like you.

nobody loses like you.

does that make me the best at something, or something?

only in a dumb way.

oh well.

are you gonna come to la and play at staples?

maybe, but probably not.

if you dont, lets go up to isla vista and get high.

k

stay away from bridges, second place girl.

stay away from the girls, my favorite boy.

with a hot chick last night, but she stood me up.

we sorta had an agreement that said that if i didn’t finish my proposal for my dream job that she wouldn’t go to the movies with me. but it was sorta a joke agreement. she knows that im terrified to write the proposal and ive been procrastinating it for quite a while.

but she didn’t even call or email me to tell me that we weren’t gonna hang, and that made me sad, and it didn’t motivate me to write last night. it just motivated me to drink alone and watch tv.

kissing motivates me.

when girls come over to my house and lift their shirts, that motivates me.

if some girls came over and said, hi tony, we’re here to help you. first we’re going to show your our magical boobies and then we’re going to sit here while you work, that would get me to work.

some people are motivated by money or power or job titles or merchandise.

me, im very visual. and i like to kiss hot babes.

if one of those girls saw that i wasn’t typing and she came over and sat on my lap and said, “god i love your writing and your style, and the way that your apartment is messy, but still cozy,” and then kissed me and then went over to the couch and said, “i’ll give you another kiss after you do 5 good paragraphs,” i would do 5 good paragraphs.

some writers cant write with other people around.

not me.

some of the best stuff that i wrote in college was in a very busy loud crazy sexy cool newsroom where people were yelling and dancing and arguing and kissing and skateboarding and playing wiffleball and nerf basketball and drinking wine and telling lies and changing the radio stations and all that.

i forget what motivated me back then, but im sure it wasn’t the cold shoulder.

anyway, im sure she didn’t know all this. im not sure she knows me that well.

but now that she does, i’ll let you know about the progress of .. well, everything.

speaking of which, i got some of my proposal done, and ashley is coming up here a little after midnight to tuck me in and wake up with me in the morn to watch da bears win their second straight game.

tomorrow evening is going to be interesting. you don’t mind if i ramble, do you? hope not.

tomorrow evening on tv i have to choose between my beloved raiders playing the espn evening game, anna nicole smith on E! and then on the howard stern show, or the season premiere of the sopranos.

something tells me im gonna watch the raiders since the other two will be rerunned.

today bob dylan tickets went on sale for his three night stand at the wiltern theatre, a venue i see every day on my way to work.

face value of the tickets are $75-150.

the wiltern is owned by Clear Channel who owns many radio stations.

why is it that i have the feeling that lots of radio jerks are going to see bob dylan play for free and the general public are going to make up the difference by paying the ridiculous prices?

sometimes i do wish i was a millionaire.

id see a lot more shows.

okay, gotta shower. a hot blonde twenty year old girl is gonna come here and make me forget all about bob dylan and whisper sweet things in my ear which will then turn into beautiful blog entries for your asses.

nite!

i didnt call her either.

everyone is nervous and sketchy and superstitious and freaked out.

anna kounikova, 21, on sunday will enter just her fourth singles final in her seven-year professional career and her first shot at a WTA title since Moscow in 2000.

the only woman in anna’s way will be anna.

anna smashnova, that is, the top seeded israeli who has coasted through the Shanghai Open, thumping Angelique Widjaja of Indonesia 6-1 6-1 in her semi-final match today.

kornikova didnt have it as easy, barely squeaking past Japan’s Ai Sugiyama 6-4 7-5 in todays other semi final– which set up tomorrow’s anna versus anna final.

anna k. continued her winnings ways today in china when she took the court a mere few hours later with new doubles partner Janet Lee and clinched a second finals berth with a tremendous win over unranked Li Ting and Sun Tiantian 2-6, 6-4, 6-4.

so could this be a doubles and a singles tourney championship for our favorite blonde comrade?

i say yes.

too bad its not going to be on tv.

too bad it wont be on tv at 11pm tonight pacific time, not even on pay-per-view, which i would pay money to see.

wishing you luck, ms. kournikova

i believe oj because i want to believe oj.

like a lot of black kids in the early 70s, oj was my hero.

he had style, grace, flair, and soul.

and like lots of black people, when oj was declared not guilty, i breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

unlike a lot of people, i actually was able to watch most of the trial.

my particular job at the time, had me working the evening shift if i wanted to. and why wouldn’t i want to?

i watched the whole thing on E! who had commentary during the breaks, pre- and post-coverage, and a nearly gossipy approach to the proceedings that made it more of a live action soap opera than a legal tussle. they made it easy to follow. they had all the best guests. it started around 9 or 10 in the morning and was done around 3 or 3:30. it became part of my daily routine.

as someone wanting to believe that he was not guilty, i raised my eyebrows when the LAPD couldn’t account for nearly half of the blood that they collected from OJ to compare with the blood found in his bronco and at the scene and on the blood. i scratched my head when marcia chose to never include the slow chase (pictured) where oj hid in the back of the bronco and called his mother sobbing. allegedly.

and when the glove didn’t fit, i had to acquit.

E! gave me a new hero: johnny cochran.

Blacks were rooting for OJ because he represented a Black man on trial. not only that, but of a Black man killing a skinny young blonde white woman. none of us wanted to believe that any of that was true.

currently i am telling myself that it was drug dealers who killed nicole after she built up a healthy habit that oj might have financed in the past, but for whatever reason had stopped paying for. this would explain why oj went on the slow speed chase with a passport, cap, fake moustache and wallet (he thought the drug dealers were going to kill him too) crying to his mother.

i don’t think that oj, a guy who had never had a problem with women, infact the new E! True Hollywood Story about OJ (which gets rerun this afternoon) says that one reason that Nicole wanted a divorce was because of his infidelity. wasn’t oj was dating a playboy model? how many 49 year old guys dating playboy models stab their ex-wives over a lover’s quarrel? you have lover’s quarrels when you’re deeply in love. when you’re deeply in love you don’t bang other women. the prosecution cant have it both ways. not guilty.

i think that nicole didn’t pay her drug tab. i think that oj once paid these tabs but once they were divorced stopped paying. maybe he would pay now and then, but this time he said no. i think the drug dealers called oj on a last ditch effort to get the money and said theyd kill her if they didn’t get it. i think oj called their bluff, and lost. and when they were done, they went to the back of oj’s house, knocked on kato’s wall and dropped their bloody glove in his yard.

both ron and nicole was slashed across the neck. nicole, in such a way that she was nearly decapitated. those people were not stabbed in a way to be punished, they were stabbed in a way to be killed. emotional killings, i would think, would include shouts, tears, cries of grief. none of this happened. Ron was stabbed 9 times, i think, nicole 19. that’s pretty efficient for a first time double murderer, if you ask me.

anyway, in the new True Hollywood Story, we hear that OJs dad just might have been gay. we hear that OJ dated a 21 year old during his last stay in California and she moved to Florida with him, she, getting an apartment in Miami.

i also learned that OJ has an income of at least $23,000 a month, which cant be touched by the courts. and he has a personal 401k for his retirement.

not a bad two hour recap of the whole thing.

they also claim that he was a ticket scalper of 49er games when he was in junior high.

and a pie stealer.

Clicked around the blogosphere, and found lots of people saying, “Oh, that’s terrible” or “Here’s my analysis of this or that Zevon lyric, and aren’t I clever for noticing its hidden genius.”

But I already wrote something like that myself; I mean, I read a couple, but how many can you read?

Checked the L.A. Times. Glory be! They had an actual interview with the guy, with lots of new information.

As Reynolds says (or doesn’t say), Advantage, Big Media.

Nance

Dear Nance,

Any time you’re looking for something Hollywood or music-related, please just drop me an email or leave a comment or ask.

The same goes for the rest of youse.

Hollywood is an incredibly small place where thousands of paths cross each day and millions of paths cross each night.

I had the great opportunity of being at a party that Warren attended this summer. ironically, it was the last LA Blogger party that was held at movie producer Brian Linse’s hollywood bachelor pad. Warren and Brian are friends.

The guests of honor were Eric and Dawn Olsen. That’s dawn with warren in the above photo. advantage warren.

Eric, a record producer, and author of books regarding record producing, has since formed the amazingly diverse and important Blogcritics.com, to which you can find this amalgam of offerrings about Warren’s fine career.

As for the LA Times, I’m still mad at them for not mentioning my name in that story about bloggers, and I will remain mad at them until they do a feature about me and the dozen or so major bloggers who reside mere miles from their ivory tower.

and yes, i am still sticking my tounge out at them.

anyway, i rememeber that blogger party very well, because thats when i got to meet a lot of cool people whose blogs i hadn’t met, but that was also the night where everyone first met moxie.