actually i work at a marketing company.

we lost a bid on william hung.

i was all, make him a porn star.

they were all, you wanna make everyone a porn star.

i was like, his name is hung!

they were like sooooo?

i was all, and he runs around singing “she bangs!”

one girl was all, tony, quit talking.

i said, dudes love to see non-handsome dudes have sex with beautiful women.

another girl put her hand over her ears.

i continued: the first video could be called He Bangs.

a third girl sighed. probably cuz she agreed secretly.

then, i said, his next film could be called “i have no professional training.”

the first girl scoffed and said, “film?”

i looked at her and said in my most serious manner

william hung very well could be the most important male adult star since ron jeremy.

her jaw dropped.

as always.

a dude chimed in with, ron jeremy has a huge sausage.

i said, exactly! which is why mr. hung would be a more compelling.

instead we went for the william hung line of school backpacks.

they made me pitch it

as always

but it was obvious that my heart wasnt into it

and thats why i ended up in the temple till nine oclock last night.

playing that tetris ripoff game.


coyote has a gay marriage photo essay

best part about the xbi hq is the chapel.

alot of people cry there. all the crying is bound to make you cry so i suggest avoid loitering unless you can concentrate. like me.

most people use the chapel as a place to show emotion since its not recommended on the job.

i like it cuz its dark and has little alcoves you can hide out in.

sorta like a sanctuary.

a lot of people die in the xbi, we just dont talk about it much.

so one thing they did is say that everyone can add one or two things to the chapel to make themselves more comfortable.

so they can pray right.

and focus.

i had a tetris clone coin-op put in there. i keep the sound turned off.

every month they put a different game in there.

last month they had lode runner.

it really does free my mind up a little bit.

some people sleep in there.

some people never go in there.

sometimes i think some people are just seeing what everyone else is doing

but the good news is everythings confidential and everyone honors that.

and thats why the best part about the xbi hq is the chapel.

i was so stressed out today if the right person offered me a cigarette i woulda smoked it.

did you know that papa johns doesnt have their cinnamon pie any more

and dominos doesnt have cinnamon dots anymore

they have cheese dots.


tom dog + j. banks + zep + bathrub girl