tomorrow leah turns 18 years old.

i mention this because she has been kicking my ass since she was 15.

i think she has 3-4 different journals/blogs but the only one ive ever paid much attention to was her site at

i like leah because she always seems a little too smart for her britches, she has her own style, and pretty much always keeps it positive. which is interesting because in her about section the native canadian writes this about where she now lives in texas:

My sister, Elana, is 21 and moved back to Canada after she graduated. She did not like it here and I do not blame her.

maybe its cuz elana didnt have a jon bon jovi boyfriend.

its not that leah hasnt had her struggles. the day after christmas this year she found out she had been fired at her place of employment.

then there was that time last year when she realized that you cant really sell a zine for a buck these days.


and sold it for two bucks.

i like that she takes a lot of pictures and movies and isnt afraid to stay clothed.

it didnt seem that long ago that i interviewed leah for my website. this was a time before blogs, so maybe it was sorta long ago. anyway, after that, i put her in my “i will never be this cool section” in my links page, and she hasnt left it.

if she ever wrote anything for lick i would probably fall over.

since our interview many moons ago i think we’ve chatted maybe twice or three times. im very happy just being a loyal reader of hers and shes never let me down.

happy birthday leah vacant girl. one of the biggest rockstars on the internet.

vacant + zine #2 is on the market + livejournal

heres a little story i gots to tell

about three bad brothers you know so well. they started to change cub history, im talking the professor, mark prior and my man kerry.

one lonely cub fan i be. all by myself without nobody. california sun beating down on my baseball hat. the race is getting hot, my old style beer’s getting flat…

woke up this morning with a pretty girl asking if i could turn off the howard stern on the radio.

her eyes were closed and didnt see the smile on my face.

it was a permagrin.

ear to ear.

i was beaming.

yes, she and i had superstar porno love the night before. yes, i had bowled and liquored myself up pretty good. yes, i had full control of my mightysword. theres nothing like the feeling a man gets every blue moon when he realizes that he can floor it with no repercussions.

like speeding in the pitch black darkness of an empty desert highway with the clash’s know your rights blasting through the t-tops without any worry that the man isnt gonna flick on his party lights and join the parade.

wham wham wham







fuck the neighbors. fuck the lack of music or candles. fuck the bedsprings fuck the blinds getting kicked fuck the blankets getting twisted fuck gravity fuck the headboard getting destroyed fuck that this isnt sex saturday.

two ways to have girls fall in love with you

be rich

or do what i did last night.

this morning i wasnt smiling cuz of all that. that was luck. that had very little to do with me.

this morning i was smiling cuz i remembered that the cubs are going to win the world series this year, and after i hit the snooze button i drifted off knowing that somewhere in heaven harry caray was smiling too.

bring on the bosox

the lick blog + god’s lonely man + kitty bukkake has been knitting