if you had the number to the oval office, what would you say?

and america got what it wanted.

my country said last night that deficit spending, fighting wars with countries who had no wmds, deceptions, lies, ignorance, and tax cuts for the rich was what it wanted.

my country said that theyd rather vote for the awoler than the triple purple hearter to defend the nation.

my country said that our gay brothers and sisters shouldnt have the right to marry.

my country said that they wanted new senators. three in particular won. one who thinks that unwed mothers and gays shouldnt be school teachers, one who thinks that doctors who perform legal abortions should get the death penalty, and one who thinks that there should be a consititutional amendment to protect prayer in schools.

my country thinks that it’s right to go it alone and be the world police even if we’re wrong about who we attack and even if it means that our children will have to pay for it with their lives and their finances.

my country thinks that the loser of all three presidential debates should get four more years.

my country thinks that its totally cool that Bush appointed the #1 timber lobbyist to be the head of the Forest Service, a mining industry lobbyist who thinks public lands are unconstitutional to be head of public lands, as well as several other anti-environmentalist to make it easy for corporations to pollute the air and water and rape our natural resources.

makes me wonder if my country actually thinks.

but it is my country, the land that i love. through thick and thin, through better and worse.

moving away is never an option. plus my people have been here for 400 years. we aint going nowhere.

and this isnt about democrat or republican. this is about freedoms versus fears. this is about failure versus hope.

my country picked a failure who ran on one platform: vote republican or die.

cuz thats all he had.

thats all he was made of.

and last night i got to see what my country is made of.

so today i hope my country realizes that it just got what it asked for.

be careful what you ask for.

for these people will continue to hide valueable information from us

they will continue to give tax cuts during times of war to the rich, as irresponsible as that is. as foolish. as pandering.

you encouraged BushCo to keep on keeping on, america.

well, at least 51% of you did.

so give yourselves a round of applause.

on the brighter side, i have a good feeling that rock n roll will be back

with a vengence.

punk too.

and liberalism, which i dont subscribe to, will be bigger and louder and more organized than ever before.

homer simpson voted for who his buddies told him to vote for.

anna kournikova now has her enrique.

and all of those who said that nothing could be worse than these last four years

aint seen nothing yet.

psychotic normalcy + tman + sahalie

drunk, somber

ready.

what do we burn down first, she asked.

ohio?

clipper girls cousin was over trying to get me to inhale some medical marijuana but i didnt want any. i wanted everything to sink in real good.

first thing i thought was where do i go.

do i move to canada and make babies with raymi.

do i move to new york and get the clinton/barack ticket going.

do i get a job with media matters who have just been handed four years of shooting fish in a barrel.

do i apply at the ny times.

i told karisa we cant burn down ohio. ohio has republican senators, a republican governor, they voted to ban gay marriage. ohio isnt interested in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

like pretty much the rest of the country, ohio is interested in the land of the fear and the home of the lame.

like marilyn manson said, i dont have enough middle fingers.

my gmail was nearly full today.

“but the redskins lost at home.”

“but bush is a retard.”

“but everything sucks.”

“but gasoline is $2.50 a gallon.”

people, if theres one thing i have said over and over on this blog

it’s life isnt fair.

it’s not fair that britney spears can marry and divorce in vegas in 48 hours and then marry kevin fuckerhead a few months later

while gay and lesbian couples who have been together for decades cant have that same freedom.

it’s not fair that the president can redact 28 pages of the 9/11 report that explains Saudi Arabias part in terrorism.

it’s not fair that bush “won” in 2000.

nothings fair and nothing will ever be fair.

and america, it isnt fair that we’re living in the richest, top 10 freest, most influencial superpower of all time.

howard stern has been on the air for an hour and hes even frustrated

“it’s time to go back to the penis jokes.”

but before we do, lets give ken layne props for what he busted with the other night on the eve of the election, which was brilliant,

After all the 9/11 horror and bullshit, the crass exploitation of 2,755 killed in those attacks, $4 billion in ’04 campaign spending, 1,100 American troops killed in Iraq, 800 U.S. troops killed in Afghanistan, the biggest deficit in American history, an orgy of new laws and federal bureaucracies that will be with us for many years to come, cynical & doomed campaigns to amend the Constitution, less jobs, more expensive health insurance, low mortgage rates, swift boats, tax cuts, Orange Alerts, Howard Dean, Anthrax, Michael Moore, Air America, Fox News, fonts, blogs, Saddam captured and Osama on the loose, everything is basically the same as it was on Sept. 10, 2001.

Nobody today is more Sept. 10 than George W. Bush. Just like on that boring day three years ago, Bush is disliked by half the country, while a vocal minority sees him as a stupid yet dangerous fraud who must be deposed. The only thing that’s changed is the intensity of feeling. Same on the other side, with half the country saying, “Yeah, he’s okay” and a vocal minority of Bush followers who hate and fear non-Republicans — and Republicans who question Bush — carrying on just as they did on Sept. 10, 2001.

the title of laynes post is “all for nothing” and thats exactly how i feel.

who would have thought that moore and the job loss and the debates and the deficit and all those dead and maimed in iraq and 9/11 and osama still putting out tapes and the lack of wmd and bush just being bush wouldnt change one state’s mind?

theres not enough fire karisa to make this go away.

we need to realize that we live in a country that believes that gays shouldnt be allowed to get married

and george bush can protect us.

and tonight they will spend $50 to fill up their Explorer

they will turn on everyone loves raymond

and they wont even see the impeachment coming.

amy + chelle + gorilla mask

CHICAGO (AFP) – Democratic rising-star Barack Obama became the lone African American senator, beating ultra-conservative talk show host Alan Keyes in a landslide in Illinois.

Television networks projected that Obama, 43, had soundly defeated Keyes in the contest to replace a retiring one-term Republican by some 70 percentage points, snagging a seat for the Democrats in the narrowly Republican-controlled Senate.

“Thank you, Illinois!” an beaming Obama shouted into the crowd at his victory rally. “Let me say how grateful I am to all of you for the extraordinary privilege of standing here.”

The charismatic Obama, the son of a Kenyan father and American mother, was a relatively obscure Senate hopeful just a few months ago but he catapulted to prominence after giving an electrifying keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention in July.

He was one of a handful of blacks running for US Senate seats this year, including his rival Keyes, but was considered the only African-American candidate with a realistic chance of winning.

Obama becomes only the third black senator in 150 years. The last African American to serve in the US Senate was Democrat Carole Moseley Braun, also of Illinois, who was defeated in 1998 by Fitzgerald after a single scandal-plagued term.

“The skinny kid with the funny name,” as Obama has described himself, grew up in Hawaii and Indonesia.

In the weeks since his much-lauded convention speech, Obama came to have such star power that he was recruited to travel to more than a dozen states to stump for Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry (news – web sites), as well as fellow congressional candidates.

“Barack Obama’s importance to our party and our effort to recapture the United States Senate simply cannot be overstated,” said Brad Woodhouse, a spokesman for the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee.

Obama is widely touted for a future leadership position in his party — possibly even a US presidential candidate.

When it became clear that a seat in the US Senate from Illinois would be up for grabs in November, Obama, then a three-term state senator, jumped into the race.

His rhetoric stresses inclusiveness, and he has a lot of support among white liberals and white middle class voters in suburban Chicago, as well as blacks on the city’s South Side.

“There is not a black America, and a white America, a Latino America, and Asian America — we are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America,” Obama told the Democratic Convention.

monique + wil wheaton + zulieka + ironmouth

kausfiles + welch + layne + xtracyx

we hardly ever see each other. we hardly ever talk to each other on the phone.

we chat almost every day thanks to the miracle of the internet.

sometimes we’ll write an email if im up in chopper one.

when we get on the phone it can last for hours.

tonight was one of those nights.

its so hard not to get dramatic and lord knows i want to be as funny as i can in everything i write.

but could half you motherfuckers really be serious about four more years of this shit?

there was a time when i lived with two of the finest musicians you’ll never hear because life isnt fair.

one of them was named jeff whalen. singer songwriter guitar for the rock group tsar.

like most geniuses, he’s often misunderstood, frustrated, and criticised unfairly. sometimes however the criticisms are fair.

one night greg and i were discussing the existence of God.

everyone was pissed off.

and jeff threw his hands up and said, i feel so alienated right now.

not until today did i know what he meant by that.

if half this country votes for that fucking tool despite

well, everything–

this should be the example of a no-brainer in the dictionary.

it should be the epitome of a landslide.

it should be an answer on jeopardy.

“alex, ‘Duh’ for $500.”

“ken, this is the second-easiest decision mankind has ever made.”

“alex, what is electing michael jordan into the nba hall of fame?”

“thats right ken. the first of course being voting for john kerry over george bush back in 2004.”

after i read The Stand, i freaked out any time someone sneezed. i didnt trust anyone. if bush wins, how do you think im going to feel traveling to a red state.

sick.

thats how i’ll feel.

poindexters pretending that theyre voting to protect the nation by rehiring a failures failure.

worst in show.

deficit: fucked.

health care: fucked.

gasoline: fucked.

schools: fucked.

chances of buying a house in a decent neighborhood: totally fucked.

price of a fucking bullshit halfway decent new car: fucking $25k.

jobs: fucked.

war: fucked.

osama: laughing.

saddam: had no wmds.

cheney: still getting checks from haliburton.

powell: “we’re losing the war”

rice: “i believe the title [of the PDB] was, ‘Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States.”

rumsfield: “We know where [Iraq’s WMD] are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south, and north somewhat.” – ABC, 03/30/03

rumsfield: “As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know There are known unknowns. That is to say We know there are some things We do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, The ones we don’t know We don’t know.” – 2/12/02, DoD

rumsfield: “Once in a while, I’m standing here, doing something. And I think, ‘What in the world am I doing here?’ It’s a big surprise.” — 5/16/01, NYT.

rush: You ever heard of emotional release? You [ever] heard of need to blow some steam off?”

ashcroft: lost to a dead man, nyt: worst att’y general ever

youre not just supporting bush, youre supporting all these fools.

here’s dubyas horoscope for tomorrow:

For November 2: You comfort others, especially this morning, and take the attitude that, no matter what, things will turn out fine. Your apparent acceptance creates comfort, strength and unity among friends and loved ones. Throughout the day, you can feel the future quickly approaching your front door. You anticipate change, travel or even moving, and feel at peace with the prospect. In fact, you begin to welcome the likelihood of change. Once you’re able to step outside of preconceived notions and expectations, you’re able to see the peace and beauty inherent in a new way of living.

here kerry‘s horoscope for tomorrow:

For November 2: First thing this morning, you are made aware of a groundswell of activity that benefits you. This powerful locomotive is unstoppable and likely to outperform everyone’s expectations. Even so, you will experience moments of uncertainty from time to time – but not for long. The best information indicates that your momentum is irreversible. You feel very popular and beloved most of the day. Even another’s petty criticism is too limp to hit a bullseye. Enormous changes that you’ve hoped for – perhaps your own personal miracle – can occur.

this is mine:

For November 2: Opportunities actually find you today. This is an excellent time for interviews, meetings and public appearances. Others view you as someone that is well worth betting on. Some of your past efforts also come up in conversation – mostly in glowing terms. Get out and rub elbows with colleagues, pals and decision-makers today, and look your most devastating because you’re sure to run into someone you know. One caveat: you will encounter one disgruntled ex-friend or former colleague. Don’t give this individual a split second of your time. Focus on the best the future has to offer.

and last but not least, here‘s america’s

For November 2: You comfort others, especially this morning, and take the attitude that, no matter what, things will turn out fine. Your apparent acceptance creates comfort, strength and unity among friends and loved ones. Throughout the day, you can feel the future quickly approaching your front door. You anticipate change, travel or even moving, and feel at peace with the prospect. In fact, you begin to welcome the likelihood of change. Once you’re able to step outside of preconceived notions and expectations, you’re able to see the peace and beauty inherent in a new way of living.

ken layne + oliver willis + mc brown + asshole

for Monday November 1, 2004

from dictionary.com

debouch \dih-BOWCH; -BOOSH\, intransitive verb:

1. To march out (as from a wood, defile, or other narrow or confined spot) into the open.

2. To emerge; to issue.

transitive verb:

To cause to emerge or issue; to discharge.

When the mill hands hassled Pete at the Manchester Cafe, he took off his apron, debouched from behind the counter and beat them senseless. –Richard Rhodes, Why They Kill

Bangladesh, one of the most populous spots on earth, is virtually the delta of the Brahmaputra and Ganga river systems, where numerous streams and rivers debouch to the Bay of Bengal.

— “Blood on the Border,” Times of India , April 23, 2001

. . . one of those ancient towns of central France where the streets wind upward from the railway track, through scowling walls of medievalism, until they debouch in the square outside the cathedral door, surveyed by huge stone animals from the cathedral tower and prowled around on Sunday mornings by cats and desultory tourists.

–Jan Morris, Fifty Years of Europe

Debouch comes from French déboucher, from dé- (for de), “out of” (from Latin de) + bouche, “mouth” (from Latin bucca, “cheek, mouth”). The noun form is debouchment.

EVEN THE DICTIONARY WANTS BUSH OUT

flagrant + write hard + bunnie

wrote me today and said, tony what are you going to do now that Nader isnt on the california ballot?

i was a little shocked cuz i didnt know that nader wasnt on the california ballot.

so since i dont vote for people who cant find their way on the ballot, choosing between the people that i now see on the ballot, i will be voting for john f kerry

who won the debates – in a sweep

who faught in nam and was a hero moreso when he returned and called bullshit

who was a senator for 20 years

who gives a shit about the enviornment

who is Christian and knows how to seperate church from state

who can stand in front of people and speak like a man who earned his college degree

who has no family ties to saudi arabia who were 15 of the 19 9/11 terrorists

who wont be giving any tax breaks to the rich

who isnt running with a vice presidential candidate who is profitting financially from the war in iraq

who wrote a friggin book about global terrorism and afghanistan back in 1997 long before it became trendy to yell out “terror” to try to get re-elected

who believes that a woman should have the choice to decide what happens in her womb

who will provide a much needed balance to the republican congress and republican supreme court because america works best when there is compromise.

and when im done voting, im going to hang out with the cool kids and party and drink

and pray like ive never prayed before.

springsteen speaking in wisconsin + murphy + kalipornica

What do we do if Bush wins?

–Tracy

Dear Tracy,

Bush isnt going to win.

He didnt even win last time.

Only reason FLA didnt want a recount, and why they went to the Supreme Court to stop the recount wasnt because they wanted to find out who actually won the fucking thing, they stopped the recount because they DIDNT want to find out who actually won the fucking thing and their man was leading.

So in the last four years has Dubya done anything – Even ONE thing – to get someone who voted for Gore to vote Bush this time?

hell no.

in fact he fucked up nearly everything he touched.

and with all these bogus polls telling everyone that its a tight race all its doing is mobilizing the stoned slackers who didnt vote in 2000 to put down their 6 footer for a few minutes and vote kerry.

America might be a lot of things, but we as a nation do not reward men who fuck our economy, who dont say squat about increased gasoline prices, or who take us to war for the wrong reasons and have us LOSE said war.

Republicans (or those who occassionally vote Republican) dont reward administrations who spend $200 billion to squash Osama and fail. Osama looks better after 3 years of Bush chasing him than I do! how does that work?

americans dont like being dissed by anyone named Bin Ladin. that video tape made Bush look like Elmer Fudd and made OBL look like Buggs Bunny nibbling on his carrot – it didnt make one person say, “gee, bin ladin is still around, i really need four more years of Dipshit to ‘protect’ my american ass.”

the idea that Only george w. bush can lead the fight terrorism is the most ridiculous concept ive ever heard.

fucker doesnt even know which countries are terrorists and which arent.

fucker cant even get terrorist #1 using all the kings horses or all the kings men.

what the last three years have shown is if theres one person who Cannot fight terrorism it’s George W. Bush

who couldnt even handle a physical at the Texas National Guard, so of course he can’t handle international politics, domestic spending, or war.

there should be a box next to kerry’s box that says “duh.”

what should you do if bush wins tracy?

you should riot.

burn the mother down.

cuz theres no overwhelming rush of new republicans coming out of the woodwork, but theres plenty of dems.

and if somehow they figure out a way to take away our freedom to vote and to have our vote count then they deserve the fires that will burn across this land.

bush didnt win the debates, he hasnt won our hearts, he hasnt won any new alliances in the world, he hasnt won either of the wars that he’s still fighting,

and he wont win this election.

jarvis finally calls glenn out + ernie the attorney + sk smith

tells you what she thinx

about Vice Magazine in this busblog exclusive