tsar show pics + pics of juliette lewis + and i met a reader named mike

pics by me + pics by marc + AND by Xris

im seeing a lot of traffic
going through my mark prior photo essay from Cubs.com

there are more photo essays here including

no tying in baseball + george bush like a virgin + happy easter + you know youre right
interview with an escalator + dear rock n roll + wordless + function at the junction

and theres nothing your friends can do about it or your lawyers or your loved ones or emmanuel lewis. you just do your thing and hope nobody gets hurt or you don’t get the shit beat out of you.

i have lost my mind a few times.

i have been insane in the membrane.

nothing in this is true so i can tell you about the time when someone slipped something in my drink and then someone slipped something into my cigar and then someone escorted me to the beach and we watched the sunset. we each had a beer. then this little elf bounded his way down the cliffs of isla vista and said

hi boys, would you like to suck from this magical balloon of looney love

and i had never seen an elf before and there he was in his felt suit and big red nose and his basket of gold and pointy shoes with bells on the toes and he looked at us like a dog would, with a cocked head and blush on his cheeks. were those whiskers?

and we were young guys and the sun was setting and the waves and the sea gulls and the surfer girls and surfer rosa was playing on a boom box and we said what the heck and first my buddy sucked some in and then i sucked some in and then the elf had some and then flipper swam to shore and the elf gave him some and then my buddy had one as soon as he exhaled, no air in-between, and then i did the same and then flipper cut in line and took a toke and then did a back flip and then the elf took a drag and offered it to us but we said no thanks and held it in as loooooong as we could and then the elf bowed to us and sank right into the sand.

and then i started to drift away.

away from you.

away from my buddy.

i was drifting up into the sky.

i could see my body down there against the rocks, i could see the pacific and the sunset and del playa and the houses and then i came back down into my body slowly.

ahhhhh

i took a breath of fresh air, god that was scary

oh shit then i floated up again this time higher way higher i could see all of isla vista, part of francisco torres, sands beach deveraux mental hospital lots more of the ocean, the curve of the horizon. fucking A the islands!

it felt like i was the ball on a gigantic paddle ball and i went back down to my body, faster this time, i didn’t dare take another breath of air

but i did and there i floated back up again. shit shit shit.

up up up.

goleta.

ocean.

santa barbara.

i had only been this high up when i was in an airplane flying home from a business trip nose smooshed up against the window.

the silver cord connecting rubber ball me with the paddle was going to stretch too far i feared and i would float up into heaven, a failure, a cheat. what are you doing here anthony h. pierce the third?

i lost my mind, sir.

hmmm, you’re not scheduled to be here for another 102 years. you’re a very bad boy, to hell with you.

but that didn’t happen, i was brought back to earth thanks to a sip of beer that my buddy advised me to take because i looked green. hippie chemistry. headache, smoke weed. weed headache, eat aspirin. hangover, drink rum. sensitive from acid, smoke pot. heartbroken, eat x. too much x? smoke pot. it went on and on.

the beer worked. dulled the visuals.

then the waves began to digitize.

pixilate.

the smoothness of sight had been replaced by digital colors of green red and blue, grainy like sand. the sand had turned into grainy red sand, it looked like a satellite feed from overseas in the middle of a nighttime firefight.

but it was sunset.

then it was just squares of colors.

and then just beige squares.

and then just black.

– originally posted three years ago today on the busblog

alecia + kool keith + xTx + evil china girl

1. marc brown was born

2. and abe lincoln scribbled something down on the back of his top hat bill:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground.

The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract.

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

scroll down a tad for todays buzzblog + show him some love + only pic of abe at gtown

i bring it up today because i dont wanna forget.

mc brown, the inventor of the internet, world ski jump champion, he who cracked the divinci code, and the man who gave nirvana a chance and thus broke them on college radio.

born on a dinghy off the seattle sound, marc was swallowed by a whale and expelled off the sandy beaches of santa barbara where he befriended a volleyball and named him grungy

he lived on campus point beach for several years until the isla vista foot patrol discovered that he didnt have a permit for his bonfire, and after failing to pay his citation, arrested him and the judge sent him to ucsb for four years of hard time.

with good behavior he did five.

while in college he was the music director of the radio station. this was the magical time of the late 80s when hip hop, rock, metal, punk, and pop melded and bore a new music “grunge” a term mc brown bestowed on the joyful noise that was best represented from his hometown label, sub pop, in honor of his volleyball friend.

his popularity spread througout the campus and in 1990 he ran for associated student president, with help from his pals at the daily nexus, where he had become a media darling, occasionally writing music columns and opinion pieces, he won in a landslide. but always the pranksters, the nexus reported that he had only garnered 69 votes, a curious number but symbolic since it was the number on the LA Raiders football jersey that he was often caught ripping off his svelt frame and twirling above his head while dancing atop a picnic table at the local pizzeria, pizza marc’s, which many believed he owned.

and then he adopted a rap persona, mc brown and released the cult classic “mc brown goes to college” which was followed up with the smash hit “mc brown goes to night school”. the green 7″ singles were huge along the central coast, and peru.

since then marc has traveled the world, dated models, rock stars, and homeless women. he has started his own web design company with such clients as paramount pictures, rupaul, and most recently triumph the insult comic dog. who says affirmitive action doesnt work?

the macarthur park loft that is now his office is so badass that hipster mag Dwell featured the inside of his pad and if you look closely in the first portion of Kill Bill you will see his garage as pretending to be the hospital garage where Uma finds the Pussy Machine.

founder, president, and inventor of Buzznet, the latest in blog technology that allows people to share pictures that theyve either taken from their digital cams or phone cams, marc continues to influence and feed off the ever-changing world of the internet like it aint no thing.

we are lucky to have marc brown in our collective lives.

which is why, when Thor Garcia finished his first book of short stories, he dedicated it to tommorrow’s birthday boy.

and why when you read this website and blog, you will see homages and praise doled out freely and lustingly in his general direction.

please join me in celebrating in mc browns birthday by either visiting his frequently updated blog, creating a buzznet account, pouring a gold bottle of boones farm on the ground like you just dont care.

wwmbd + marc at an art opening + the mc is a great photographer

of the Pajamas Media meltdown was derived from “sour grapes”, implying that i was jealous that they didnt invite me to their clam bake.

fool are you crazy?

have you looked at the list of Pajama-wearers? did you see who was the Chair of the Advisory board?

the day you see Tony Pierce of the busblog, defier of grammar and spelling conventions, inventor of the modern day photo essay, kisser of girls, independent in every way – join forces with the Instapundit, Little Green Footballs, and 60 other Bush apologists in hopes to get rich

is the day the busblog has jumped the shark

and sold out

and is probably being kidnapped in Gitmo so send help.

sour grapes?

have you seen what has been going on for me in the last two months? do you even read the busblog?

in the last two months i went from working at a mostly all-woman market research company on hollywood blvd, to flying to NYC on my first day at Buzznet to host parties, meet hot babes, get the VIP treatment at the Daily Show, have my birthday party thrown for me in a loft in LA, and then get to spend four days as the guest of a rock star in Vancouver Canada. and on tuesday im being flown to Chicago to throw another Buzznet party in the shadows of Wrigley Field.

and you think id rather work for roger l. simon instead of m.c. marc brown?

honky, please.

the reason i criticised and gasped at the downfall of Pajamas Media was because it was such a spectacular and complete fuckup that i couldnt believe it was happening right before our eyes.

i thought it was a dream.

it was almost as if God Himself took all the Righty Apologists, ushered them onto an ark two-by-two

and then sank the fucker.

they hired people and then fired them days later and then deleted the posts welcoming those once-qualified writers.

they didnt explain to their audience why they kept Penthouse pornographer Gerard Van der Leun, but fired Luke Ford two days after they hired him once they found out that he writes about the porn industry.

they didnt explain why the phone number on their press release was being answered by people who didnt know who Pajamas Media was, nor did they explain why after they raised $3.5 million they couldnt afford a real office in New York and opted instead for a faux/virtual office.

and if they werent making a big enough fool out of themselves, this Media supergroup who, one could only imagaine, wished everyone to take them seriously hired Judith Miller to give their keynote address — Miller of course being the reporter who went to jail for no good reason, presumably to protect Scooter Libby who had told her and all other reporters that they were free to reveal him as the source because he was going to be the fall guy.

what part of tony pierce or the busblog fits in with any of the above?

we wont even mention the fact that everyone wore suits and ties to the event. we wont even mention the fact that the busblog has never been about money, that it took three years before i even considered putting ads on this bitch, or the fact that any time i mention glenn reynolds im lecturing him on how he’s not blogging correctly – so why would i ever want to be in a position where he is the chair of an Advisory board who could tell me how to blog. bitch i wrote the fucking book!

sour grapes? best thing that ever happened to me was not getting invited to that slaughterhouse.

bottom line: i dont get jealous of other people, they get jealous of me.

the only place i would rather have been last night other than where i was which was on my couch and then getting done i mean interviewed by smelly danielly one of the many babes of vancouver who i met this month

would have been smoozing it up at ariana huffingtons house in brentwood,

which, if i was a good employee of Buzznet, i would have been at; handing out cards, clinking glasses with my friends, and snaping pics for your ass.

but guess what, you read me because i dont wear suits with no ties. you like me because i can ride the bus and pull runway models. you can relate to me because id rather watch Lost on a wednesday night than kiss bill maher’s ass on the wesssside and rub shoulders with defamer and nick denton.

i really respect those people who celebrated the gawker/yahoo semi-merger

but as my favorite band tsar says in “straight”

eastside up and weside down

and friends, im eastside

and im up.

im so up im stiff.

so no, i dont need to have my wallets stuffed by dishonest deceitful disingenious Bushlickers to feel good about myself.

and ive lived in LA for nearly 20 years which means if im going to go to a party with celebs, the average age is going to be collegiate not viagrate.

and im gonna wear a flannel, not a fidora, nor a-fitch.

i get more hits more pussy and more freedom than pretty much everyone in that trainwreck in new york or at that wine tasting fiesta in brentwood.

no one ever said i deserve it, but i’ll take it, and i will honor it by never selling out and respecting where i came from.

i come from hanover park illinois

60103

where theyd beat my ass if they found me spreading brie in brentwood

and theyd hang me from my necktie if they found me at Open Sores Media

who still havent explained what theyre going to do about their stolen name.

wanna know how amazing it was in nyc yesterday? the blogfather posted 20 times today, guess how many were about that the launch yesterday of the company that he’s the chair of the advisory board? zip. he mentioned osm once, but it was to ask his readers to help him on a lost cause. in fact since being there he has not had one recap or one good story or one fond memory or one picture on his blog.

because he knows the truth. and cant fight a two front war of bullshit. either hes gotta spin for the GOP or spin for the PJM. but hes only one man, he cant tap dance on two different stages.

now fuck you very much but survivor is on

followed by everyone hates chris and love inc. which i still love.

dc + alecia + emmanuelle is in the red dress on top

about my book Stiff – on sale now, hint hint

id never chatted with her before so i was pleasantly suprised with her awesomeness.

sigh

double sigh

anyways here is an excerpt of our interview of which you can find the whole thing here, well most of it, well… all the parts that are fit to print

Q: why kurt?

A: im an old man. when i was your age kurt was just coming up and i was on college radio so i was really close to grunge and all that.

i saw him come and go

similarily im extremely religious, so i always feared that he wouldnt get to go to Heaven since he killed himself, so i wanted to show somehow that he wasnt in Hell

Q: i liked that you did that…its nice to know that kurt could be in heaven… so you are extremely religious…catholic or christian?

A: i was raised catholic but as soon as i finished reading the Bible all the way through for the first time, i was all wtf – there was no mention of popes or nuns or confession or priests being celebate.

reading the bible made me believe that Catholicism is a joke so i became simply Christian

Q: ive never read the whole bible…but sometimes i question being catholic…it sometimes seems sketchy to me

A: the only reason i liked going to Catholic church was it was like a For Dummies experience: you knelt when they told you to, you stood when they told you to, but there was no soul there.

i was happy to be in a church, but there was no magic feeling going through the ritual.

when i was in college i wanted more.

Q: i totally agree with you. sometimes i feel as if i only go b/c i have done so since i was born…but not beacuse i actually want to be there

A: i think its ok to go, but i still havent found a church that is what i want it to be.

maybe i have to make my own, but it would be boring

we would just talk alot about the bible

and sing bob dylan songs

Q: hahah that would be a pretty sweet church.

when my mom read your book…she didnt know if you were actually making fun of catholics or if you were one

A: i dont think its fair to make fun of peoples faith – but in ridiculing the Catholics, im dissing the church, not the beliefs. the structure, the anti-biblical behavior, not the root which is Jesus is God.

Q: im totally on the same page as you

A: good lets make out

Q: haha…ok

in the book you mention the xbi…what is that?

A: when i first started writing the busblog i didnt want people to know that i worked at E! so i told them that i worked for an undercover agency that was a cross between the cia and the fbi, and because the busblog *could* be true, maybe i still work there…

the xbi are rejects from the marines and the fbi but they still want to fight crime.

my job was to work at a communications base thus, a tv network was assigned to me. i also flew a helicopter – chopper one.

but the problem with the xbi was there were a lot of bad apples there because we made our money by stealing from the criminals

so if you heard about cops “finding 100 bags of cocaine” odds are there were 150 bags
and the xbi took their cut

so the early days of the busblog is about me in that struggle of trying to be good but in this corrupt organization which is why i rode the bus

because i didnt want to flaunt my riches

since they were ill gotten

Q: wow…thats crazy…never knew that

A: i might re-release Blook, the first book from the busblog because a lot of people are like you, new to the busblog.

many older readers dont like that i dont talk about the xbi, but i stopped because too many people said they hated the xbi stories since they thought they were fake

i was all, ok…

which is why i love Stiff because right when you think its not about the xbi i fucking get you in the end, and explain that all of this was really the very begining of it

smelly danielly + get a signed copy of stiff now with $1 shipping in the US, $2 elsewhere + danielly’s buzznet

emailed each other in an interview about Raymi.

kiddo and raymi virtually chatted the other day and it made it in kiddo’s school paper.

heres an excerpt

Raymi is a self-proclaimed alcoholic who blogs about her manic depression, her intoxicated escapades, her art, other bloggers, and anything and everything else that goes through her head. She has written articles on fascinating subjects, such as queefs and her childhood obsession with humping her childhood friends and inanimate objects. She has done this for the past five years, making her a reputable expert on the development of the blogosphere, and she has no intentions on stopping; well, with a few exceptions: “only if I went completely crazy, so much so that I just couldn’t handle it anymore, or if someone offered mea [sic] lot of money to stop doing it, or to buy my blog, or if I got really famous and didn’t have time to do it anymore; though if I were more famous I would probably still do it because I would be ten times more self-obsessed.”

Her writing style, as evidenced in that last quote, is a defining part of her online personality. Raymi employs the stream of consciousness style in a unique format (which we’ve cleaned up for publication), pushing beyond Brett Easton Ellis’ well-known gore-filled style. Raymi does not hold back. Ever. And you can hate her personality, blog, and pictures as much as you want—as trolls proclaim in her comments—but you cannot deny the fact that Raymi is as real as Dizzee Rascal is grime.

Plenty of bloggers have tried to imitate Raymi’s style (myself included). She is no doubt the most influential blogger among young female bloggers today, from starting the boob-shot trend to the incoherent-alcoholic-rant trend to the entry-with-random-irrelevant-picture trend. But what separates Raymi from all her followers, no matter how much they try and imitate her style, is the fact that her writing is consistently out in the open and uncensored.

A-list blogger Tony Pierce, Raymi’s biggest fan, put it best: “Raymi pours her soul out there for you. She tells it as it is. She walks the walk. She keeps it realer than real and I keep telling you to read her but you just scan for the nipples.”

as the kids say “read the whole thing“

raymi + kiddo + fil + new wavaoke + raymi’s nsfw buzznet page