happy chinese new year to my chinese friends out there

of which i have more than a few.

i believe this is the year of the dog, which i love because dogs have all the answers and it could be because they can lick their own nuts but it might also be because their stomachs are far more advanced and once youve licked your nuts a few times im sure it loses its charm especially if you sleep in the dirt with your sweaty dog balls.

i say their stomachs are far more advanced because dogs can drink gutter water and alls cool in the school. they can literally eat shit and everythings fine.

but the best lessons that ive learned from dogs have been not from their scholarship of what i like to call the Polite Piss but how it seems that their feelings are never hurt.

now matt and jenny will disagree with me on this but thats because theyre pretty much canine crazy and think their dogs are people, and dont get me wrong i love thier dogs. lets see if i can even remember their names, weve got pete, benjy and shit shit whats that little ones name fred? wilma? im not gonna cheat. obviously ive forgotten the little one who i love because hes so good about playing fetch with his little half raquetball ball. fuckr fetch that thing alllllll night long and never tire. love that.

itll come to me.


so yeah dogs have personalities and likes and dislikes but theyre not human theyre better. and their feelings dont get hurt, im sorry quit projecting. they get hurt like physically and emotionally but if for example lets say that benji is at the dog park and hes sniffin around and sniffs some little poodles ass and she snaps at him hes not gonna mope about it all day. hes not gonna smell under his pits or stare at the mirror when he gets home and ask himself if hes looking old. hes gonna sniff some other bitches ass and move on with his day.

spanky? fuck!

in that sense dogs have it over people by like a lot. now of course theres disadvantages for being dogs. like theyre short for the most part. you dont see dogs at too many concerts unless they have super great seats like in the balcony or backstage cuz even on their hind legs they cant see shit so why bother.

paulie? no.

im not a cheater and im not a liar. i know ive written these dogs names when i visted the goods and i know jennys blog has their names but im not gonna cheat and look. hot chicks i went out with this weekend if youre reading this know that im a good man and i dont cheat or lie, i mean the blog – this blog – you shouldnt really trust but thats only because its the interweb and you really shouldnt trust anything on here but in real life im not a bullshitter, in real life trust is everything. and if you cant trust me in real life you cant trust anyone.

dogs also have it made because they dont have to worry about taxes or shoes or landlords fucking with em. a homeless dog is actually a happier dog as far as ive seen. back in isla vista the frat boys would buy labrador puppies to impress the bimbos and in the summer when theyd go back home to san diego theyd let Kegger just roam the streets of IV with the packs of other orphaned dogs and sometimes youd be blazing on some really good liquid acid and youd see 25 random dogs jogging down del playa with their tounges hanging out and their tails wagging and youd think where the fuck are those dogs going and if your skateboard was nearby you might follow them for a block or two but back then there was a keg at every corner and a girl with a bikini top on every balcony and the acid would fade out for a sec and youd realize that your priorities were all fuct and youd kick yr skate into your hand and ask a hottie what she was reading and you were back

and only later when the sun was rising as you were sitting on the cliffs with her in between little kisses would you ask yourself hey wait i wonder where the fuck those dogs were headed i mean they looked like they had just found out there was a keg on sabado or a kicked over pizza on the streets of trigo or something.

and im not gonna stop writing until that dogs name comes to me. i lvoe that fucking dog. merle? manny? franny? zooey? im not gonna cheat. im not gonna cheat.

im listening to the strokes new record and its pretty good now that ive heard it a zillion times. which is another thing dogs sorta miss out on. its hard to download music when youre a dog.


… cheated

ten bucks this isnt matts last design of even the winter + jen the photographer + wienerdog rescue

turning the other cheek to child molestation

some people think im their monkey.

some people think this blog is theres and or its something more than my two cents presented for the world to see.

some people think that when an old man dies youre supposed to all of a sudden say nice things about him even if you never really said anything nice about him. fuck those people and fuck the dead man too.

some people think that you shouldnt be honest about the recently dead because being dead means something different than being alive. it means you should be reverent, respectful, solemn, generous.

why? i thought this was Jesusland. i thought we all agreed that when you die, if youre a good person you go to Heaven. if youre in Heaven who the fuck cares about what theyre saying about you on the sleaziest of all bathroom walls, the blogosphere?

people originally didnt speak ill of the dead because they were pagans fearful of the ghost of the dead person haunting them and causing them lack of sleep. Christians shouldnt have that phobia because a dead soul either rises or falls, it doesnt loiter around terra firma waiting to scare some cocksucker who just typed some shit about them. so grow up.

the pope ran an operation where on one hand they said the only way to the Father was through the Son, and on the other hand they presented the baseless idea that the Pope had a direct link to God and was the head shepard in charge of the worldly flock.

the catholic church also made up non-biblical rules that prevented their priests from getting married or having sex, and the catholics were given rules against abortions, masturbation, and birth control. even the pontiff himself went to africa and told the people overwhelmed with overpopulation and AIDS that condom use was a sin – despite the fact that there was nothing in the bible to back it up.

and recently the lovable pope gave safe haven to an american cardinal who was deemed ultimately responsible and negligent as thousands of kids were being molested by Massachusetts priests.

an independent group of a dozen lay Massachusetts citizens were picked by the catholic bishops of the us in 2002. that group was called the National Review Board. the board released two studies examining the claims that 4,392 priests allegedly abused 10,667 minors. and they wrote a report condemning the church, calling them shameful, and criticized boston cardinal bernard law which led to his resignation.

the Board is deeply disturbed by the situation in Boston. The picture that emerged was that of a diocese with a cadre of predator priests and a hierarchy that simply refused to confront them and stop them.

It is clear from the Review Board’s examination of the Boston Archdiocese that Cardinal Law paid insufficient personal attention to the problem of sexual abuse of minors by priests under his authority and that the clerics to whom he delegated responsibility for this issue often failed in their handling of it,”

Nor did Cardinal Law properly supervise those to whom he delegated authority, essentially abdicating responsibility for a matter of paramount importance to the integrity of the Church. As one bishop said of Cardinal Law, `I think he wasn’t even paying attention,’ – boston globe

what did the pope do? he hired him. he brought him to rome. he made room by asking an 82 year old italian cardinal to retire. and whats one of cardinal law’s new duties?

picking new popes.

so wait, oversee one of the most heinous crimes on american soil – the sexual abuse of children – and you get a plush gig in rome

and i’m supposed to be cool with that?

christopher hitchens, who is rarely cool with anything, isnt havin it either

A few years ago, it seemed quite probable that Cardinal Bernard Law of Boston would have to face trial for his appalling collusion in the child-rape racket that his diocese had been running. The man had knowingly reassigned dangerous and sadistic criminals to positions where they would be able to exploit the defenseless. He had withheld evidence and made himself an accomplice, before and after the fact, in the one offense that people of all faiths and of none have most united in condemning. (Since I have more than once criticized Maureen Dowd in this space, I should say now that I think she put it best of all. A church that has allowed no latitude in its teachings on masturbation, premarital sex, birth control, and divorce suddenly asks for understanding and “wiggle room” for the most revolting crime on the books.)

Anyway, Cardinal Law isn’t going to face a court, now. He has fled the jurisdiction and lives in Rome, where a sinecure at the Vatican has been found for him. (Actually not that much of a sinecure: As archpriest of the Rome Basilica of St. Mary Major, he also sits on two boards supervising priestly discipline-yes!-and the appointment of diocesan bishops.) Even before this, he visited Rome on at least one occasion to discuss whether or not the church should obey American law. And it has been conclusively established that the Vatican itself -including his holiness -was a part of the coverup and obstruction of justice that allowed the child-rape scandal to continue for so long.

But we cannot possibly let the case of Cardinal Law slide. And here the remedy is in the hands of American Catholics. They have had the guts to defy the papacy, in essence, when it comes to birth control. If they don’t want to be thought compromised, they can protest at the sheltering of this vile man by the Holy See. But when did you last read of a protest like that? Will any obituary in this week of piety even allude to the situation? Of course not. – slate

someone in my comments accused me of insulting the billion catholics who weep this weekend for their fallen leader.

if by catholics, the commenter meant people who stood outside the vatican praying and crying over the imminent death of an 84 year old man who had all the power

a pope

could have in this time where the line between church and state blurs more with each day id ask these catholics

and with that power he did what?

did he change the environment that bred and fostered such disgustingly vile and almost unforgivable behavior, or did he make it worse by promoting americas most despised cardinal and putting him in a position of hiring more in his image?

i dont know of another group who could rape molest and fondle 11,000 kids over 50 years and think that everything is cool

particularity in regards to reflecting on the leadership of their ceo who presided over them for nearly half of that dark era.

to be a Christian means you believe in Jesus Christ, who said the only way to the Father is through the Son

and this pope business is probably one reason why

paige + goldenfiddle + leah + buzzmachine

judst got back from another “date”

orry but im a little timpsy im spendint a fortune on cabs but its cool cuz thes e girls are incredible; and thank god ive been gettinf interviwed by ppl becuase its great practice for these dates.

whats been interesting is these last two ahave ben with girls wwho dont blog and dont really know the blogashper. this iss what you call a Stretch cuz i have to answer a lot more questions when im first meeting someone who has never read my shit,. i have to explain why i didnt have a car for five years i have to explain why i blog every day what blogging is “who” i am all that and i have to try to make it not sound like im vicepresident of the fucking burbank anime club.

prehaps some of you know what im talking about.

anyways tonight i met this cool young woman who was all “i like to write but sometimes i worry that im saying ‘I’ too much, how do you handle that?”

and it was a hel of wuestion and i said the best thing about blogging bexisdes the xvool peopel you mweet is you get to practice your writing and if you wanna try to go a week without making the post about your then you can try. if you want to just write i ii i i i i i like mad then nobodies gonna say shit because 1)most people arent gonna read everythinmg that you witn and wont notic 2)99 opercent of what is in a blog is someone saying “i just made the best cake” or “god i khate the customers at my mcdonalds” or other versions of iiiii whichis sorta the point of diaries or onliune diars and nwo blogs.

so i said for her to go for it.

and then we square danced.

i fucking dominate at aquare dancing.

i can alimand left like nobodies business.

of course we were at hollywood bar that was playing snoop dogg but when the girl your with is trying to outdo you you must win at all cost.

sadly you have to pick yuour battles and even though i won that one someone blew me off tonight with the prefect line

she said i really like you and im afraid that if i dont go home right now im going to have sex with you.

remember that one ladies.

now i dont know if she really nmeant it or if she was just adept at the changeup but it was pretty smooth.

and we were drunk and im a gentlemen and gentlemen dont bang drunk chicks

on the first datte

and at that point i wanted to tell her my real age because i think – which she had been asking for all night – becuas i think that if she kenew that i was realy 113 shed no that all i really wanted to do was just sorrta make out for a little while and just cuddle with her cuz this chick was hot america and soinmetimes its nice jsut to hold a hot chick for temn mintues before you pass your durnk ass out. and sometimes igts nice to wake up with a hot chick and taker to that huge pancake palece on sunset

but i guess that would be awkwatnrd if you dont really know the girl and like i said we dint really know iech other and bla balah bla im so tired of looking at this csreen anyways i hoipe she meant she really wanted to have sex and not omg you suck ejct ecjt eject

and now i know sorta what su0prjux is talking about when she talks about her dates xcoet she always has bad ones and mine are pretty much always fucking rad. but maybne its cuz i normally og out with girls who love the busblog and get naked minutes after coming in to my house and i know nothing in here is true but