fuck lent. fuck fucking lent. wanna give something up for lent – give lent up for lent. better yet, give up catholicism forever.

lent isnt in the bible. lent isnt even close to being in the bible. sure there were things that happened for 40 days but those werent 40 literal days those were symbolic.

wannd do something from now until Easter? read the bible. do us all a favor. know what the hell youre doing when you follow bizarre church rituals that have nothing to do with scripture or Jesus’s teachings, or reality, or real faith.

wanna give up something for 40 days? give up being a sheep. give up ritual for ritual sake. give up ignorance. give up bogusness.

the church wants us to give up things because the church wants us to get used to having us listen to them and obey them. meanwhile Jesus said that the ONLY way to the Father is through him. so fuck the fucking pope and his minions who tell you to give shit up even though its not in the good book.

you think they’re not skiing down ice cream mountains and having blowjob competitions in Heaven right now during Lent? would that be Paradise to you?

if you want to give up chocolate or cocaine or pigging out once a week, how about giving it up forever. meanwhile if you feel guilty that you love chocolate or cocaine or all you can eat buffets, quit feeling guilty. if youre not hurting anyone go for it.

this period of time leading up to the celebration of Easter isnt a time for the devil to torture you by convincing you that the things you like should be taken away from you for a month and a half. it should be a time to reflect on the sacrafices that Jesus made so that we could have eternal life. so that we’d have a treasure in Heaven. so we could party.

how on Earth does giving up something for 40 days equate to having a treasure in Heaven? so you can feel what Jesus felt when He suffered for our sins? who the fuck are you to think you know what its like to pay for ALL the sins of mankind? and by not eating mcdonalds for a month and a half you think that gives you a taste of the Messiah’s sufferings? heathen, please.

let me tell you a thing or two about the Lord Jesus Christ when He was on the cross on Good Friday. bro was God and yet He looked up and said to the sky “Why hast Thou forsaken me?” meaning for a split second Jesus was so low that even He lost faith in God, and therefore Himself.

no lack of m&ms for five weeks is going to do that to you. your wrists are being nailed to the cross. your feet dont have a spike through them. youre not wearing a crown of thorns with people staring at you and heckling you as your mother weeps below you and soldiers jab you with swords and feed you vinegar to drink as you are dying in the sun.

lent needs to be shoved up the ass of the church for its a mockery of real suffering. oh im not going to go to taco bell for a month, im a good catholic. oh im not going to watch anal porn for a month, im going to Heaven. oh im not going to eat beef on Friday im better than you. suck it fakers and read the Bible.

but if you really feel the need to give something up, give shit up thats truly toxic. thats truly evil in your life. thats honestly keeping you down. people give up foods that they like or blogs that they read or activities that they love but the good book says its not what goes into your mouth thats rotten its what comes out, and bullshitting people is what needs to stop in this world. talking about shit that has no basis. lent has zero basis in real Christianity. its not in the bible, its not a commandment, its not even a suggestion by Jesus. the namesake of your religion. the man on your crucifix.

quit propigating the lies and fallen ways of old men long since gone whose names werent emmanuelle. and please God if youre going to follow those false traditions do us all a favor and quit calling yourselves Christians because Christ isnt your leader, Popes are. youre Papists, and the most significant thing that the Popes have done over the last 50 years is allow their priests to literally fuck little boys,

meaning if you want to give up something toxic this lent season, give up supporting child molesting organizations whose roots and ways are far from biblical, whose rules are made up, whose policies are sexist and perverted, and whose leaders give shelter to the most vile criminals to walk the earth.

the lie of lent is just another in the long and bizarre parade of neverending bastardizations of the most-read book in the world by the Catholic church. if youre going to turn your back on something for forty days, may i suggest turning your back on the Vatican and all the perverted demons who eminate from there.

theres a reason they used to preach mass in latin with their back turned to their audience. its because they knew if the clergy actually read the entire bible theyd know that the church theyre in is full of shit. give up being full of shit for lent.

guess who’s in town right now

guess who thought she could just call me up this afternoon while i was at work and be all sweet to me and think she could get some. guess who got the cold shoulder. guess who has a cold shoulder. guess who thinks shes all that but isnt all that. guess whose secretly all that but i dont want to puff up her ego.

guess who’s not over my house right now. guess whos pouting at the standard sunset right now. guess who isnt doing a boybander and hasnt for a while. guess whos about to be on her period and is horny as hell. guess who called me ten times after i told her never to call me again. guess who was so desperate she left a message that said lets watch lost like in olden times. guess who has never watched lost with me and was clearly confusing me with another.

so guess who just got caught as a cheater.

guess whos looking too skinny. guess who probably is too skinny. guess whos skinny cuz her pretty boy secretly likes prettier boys. guess whos back and slim and shady. guess who doesnt give a fuck because angels fall like rain. guess who just called again.

guess who thinks that hollywood is an open phonebook. guess who thinks shes queen of the sunset strip and guess whos crying now like journey. guess who gonna buy two packs of camel lights and a bottle of some bullshit expensive trendy ass flavored vodka from pink dot. guess whos probably sorry that she ripped up my lust letters and mailed them back to me. guess whos a gemini and changes her mind like twenty times a day and has apologized for ripping them up and never got forgiven because shes not a good girl.

guess whos hot as fuck when shes being a good girl. guess whos not getting fucked when shes a bad girl. guess who learned a new word in english that rhymes with runthole.

guess who knows where i live and still has a key and will probably kill me in my sleep. guess who has already died a thousand deaths and couldnt care less about one more. guess whos indestructable. guess whos snot. guess who has a guess poster of guess who not you on their wall. guess whos posters get ripped from the walls from flailing chicks and guess whos nothing more than a whiny bitch.

guess whos flipping through her pink blackberry, guess whos never heard of mayberry, guess who was warned oh i dont know a gazillion times that black men arent to be fucked with that we do the fucking that no matter how fucking hot you fucking are we know that in the city of angels there are four million fucking people who are worth fucking and fucking half of them are fucking women and fucking half of those are fucking single and half of those are fucking willing and half of those are fucking hot which means theres two hundred and fifty thousand fucking better reasons not to put up with your bullshit


especially after talking with a good girl who said tony you can do anything you want i will dress any way you want then i will cook for you then i will let you drive me around my town and i will point at things and tell you stories and then i will show you the home of a young lady ive always wanted to make out with but not by myself but in a threesome and i said sir youre punking me and she said im not a sir, call me, and guess who called her and guess who had a feminine voice and guess who got hung up on in ten seconds because

guess why

because earlier she said but before you ask me to do anything tony i want to pick you up at the airport and i dont want to say anything and i dont want you to say anything i just want to smile and kiss you like weve known each other forever and right there at the airport with all the others i want to like really kiss you and not stop until i can start to feel you next to me if you know what i mean

and guess who knew what she meant and guess whos gonna get anything she wants and guess whos snot.

splinky + riley dog + sutter + case