even though we had Row B seats

a few feet from the field and a few feet from the fair pole, the best part about the Cubs game yesterday at Dodger Stadium, besides watching the Professor school the home team was in the elevator ride from the field boxes to the top of the park, where our car was waiting.

for in this elevator was me, my date, her roommate and boyfriend, and about 25 pissed off dodger fans including four very large latin gentlemen with tattoos up to their neck and scars like those made from knives.

me, i had a Cubs spring training 1986 tshirt, cubs hat, bag of peanuts that my mom sent me in my easter basket that had the cubs logo on the bag, and small pin that said hey hey.

even without my afro somehow all eyez remain on me.

so as soon as i stepped into the packed oversized elevator the biggest meanest toughest gang member – lets be real – said,

looks like you stepped on the wrong elevator

and there was silence

and a few quiet chuckles

now let me tell you a little something about the author of this blog. ever since the cubs lost in the playoffs in 1984 to the san diego padres, an interesting phenomenom swept over me.

the willingness to die. as in, not being at all afraid to leave this mortal coil.

its my belief that that precise lack of fear that most normal humans have is what the xbi found most appealing in me, and why they recruited me while i was in college.

so when this 6’2″ 250 man with a tattooed tear coming down his eye looked at me and said that i got in the wrong elevator after greg maddux spread 3 hits over 8 innings making quick work of a dodger lineup missing allstar jeff kent, and hobbled by just-recovering jd drew and kenny lofton, i could not bite my tounge

i can never bite my tounge, particularily in matters of the chicago cubs.

if you remember correctly it was i who brought my broom to dodger stadium last year in preperation of the sweep that the cubbies performed on LA last season, and yes bitter dodger fans told me where i could put that broom.

so when the huge monster of a man joked but didnt joke that i was in the wrong elevator, very clearly i rebutted with

oh you mean this isnt the winner’s elevator?

to which everyone, from youngest to oldest said


and yes i plan on returning to chavez ravine tomorrow to reintroduce the faithful to my broom.

everything wrong again + amy + newyorkology + jay larson

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