Do It

Texas Hotel Records (1988)

“Do It”

Don’t think about it

Do it

Don’t talk about it

Do it

Do it, do it

Don’t lie about it

Do it

Do it, do it

Talk about your sick man, so good you got to do it,

do it

D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-do it, do it

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it

Don’t lie about it

Do it

Why give a fuck about it, man

Do it, do it

There’s a law, but who cares

Do it, do it

Don’t rip me off, man, just do it, do it, do it, do it

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it

Don’t talk about it

Do it, do it

Don’t lie about it

Do it, do it

It’s rock n roll, and the message is

Do it , do it

Just do it,

just do it

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it

oh lord, tony pierce. please dont make fun of me.

what would i make fun of you about?

see, youre doing it already.

doing what? michael, i love you.

no you don’t.

of course i do. i have said over and over that my first concert ever was the jackson 5 and im proud about that. and very happy.

where did you see us?

in indiana.

really?

yep. i think at the circle star theatre.

okay then. what do you want?

nothing. im just here to say hi.

no youre not.

shit, michael, put a little trust in your heart.

i want to trust you, tony, really. it’s just hard, you understand. dont you?

michael, look at me. we’re both pretty much the same. Blacks from the midwest, now living in cali. child stars.

you were a child star?

regionally.

where?

in my living room. no one could beat me at electronic football.

mattel?

you know the one?

of course! all those tour busses and lonely hotel rooms and plane trips.

you never got it on with the groupies?

nah. my brothers did, i was too young.

oh, michael. you poor kid.

wow.

what?

youre really not going to make fun of me.

nope.

thats freaky as hell.

why should it? like i was saying, once i was super black, now im not .

skin disease?

too many white girls rubbing all up on me.

tony, have you seen sarah’s new design?

yes, i’d rather not comment.

it’s not good.

shhhhh. she gets sensitive about that sort of stuff.

but it used to be SOOO good. so classy. so, well, Great.

michael, dont talk about how things used to be.

but…

you’ve stopped looking at the man in the mirror, havent you?

you know whose blog i love?

oh shit.

i love Barbie’s blog.

thats just wrong. where did you find it?

andrew sullivan.

can i make fun of him?

no, he’s my friend.

then i better go.

okay cya tony.

cya mike.

pete.nu

onight with the new host Cindy Taylor.

if Art Mann ever gets his ankle broken, im sure i could be the goofy regular guy asking all the hoochie mamas in the exotic bars “whats the wildest thing that happens on on this island?”

actually im not so sure i could do it. ive seen other guys try to do it and they all look like dopes, except Art. Art seems to pull it off with equal parts i-can’t-believe-i’m-here with i’m-gonna-bang-every-one-of-these-sloppy-hos.

maybe im just projecting again.

my arms are sore, my carpal is cilling me, my heart is broken, my bed’s too big without you, my book is unpublished, my blog is a bore, my maid’s eighth number is disconnected, my cubbies didnt get thome, and my hundred year old tv is about to finally go out. so how come im not bummed out?

cuz tlc has a new video out and one of the chicks has an “im a pepper” tshirt on that i sent a hot chick for her birthday and yet ive never seen her in. i think she probably gave it to her girlfriend for sweetest day.

ive been hearing some of the best lesbo stories lately.

wanna hear some?

k.

this one girl who i barely talk to on the aol im emailed me and said she wanted to chat. so i got online and she starts telling me that she is about to graduate college and she feels bad that she has never “eaten from that side of the buffet table.”

but she does have a girl in mind who she wants to give it up to and they exchanged pictures and then they exchanged topless pictures and then they exchanged full on nudes.

now maybe im over the hill but that was good enough for me as i couldnt even believe that this girl was even talking to me, let alone, telling me some pretty good dirty tales of lust among co-eds.

and then she showed me a picture of the girl in question and i nearly fell right over in my chair.

perfect. young. smooth. perfect. perky. shaved.

perfect.

nay has a new layout

welch has been leading the eric neel parade for a while, and today he convinced me.

i check in on welch and layne several times a day because i trust their analysis of politics. unlike me, they’re fair, educated, and write in a professional manner. that’s why no paper wants them on the regular. fuckholes.

today welch points us again to neel on espn’s page two and eric made me laugh. which isnt easy. especially when he starts off by saying that the nba should get rid of it’s classic jerry west logo. but he does have some funny alternatives.

me, i liked the iverson version.

blogger has been a bitch this morning so i will make this quick while the time bandits window is cracked open for a brief second.

ashleys been calling me every night. she might think it’s hard on her. it’s doublely hard on me. see, ive been to the edge, and there i stood and looked down. i know what the future holds for me, and its definitely not super hot twenty year old blonde girls with cheerleader outfits and glitter.

so please take it easy on the temptation.

what’s up with the book? just your typical drama. its been banned from kinkos. the name tony pierce is a bad name in the copy shops and respectable printing palaces in LA so i might need to bust with Sonny I. LaVista on the cover because everyone seems to think that what i have created is obscene.

i sorta wish that the original printer hadn’t sat on it for three weeks because i really wanted this thing mailed out this week. #1 because i want you all to have it #2 because i want all of you to write about how great it is so that #3 all your readers would order it from me for themselves for Christmas.

looks like we’ll just be happy if you get it for Christmas and any profits i’ll make, if there are any, will be after the first of the year.

my mom wants to know what i want for Christmas.

i told her i want something for Hanukkah. ive never had a Hanukkah gift.

me and karisa are going to celebrate the holiday by seeing 8 Crazy Nights tomorrow.

do you know i love the Donnas.

i do.

ham fisted theatrics