even though im a born again,

and even though im a Christian minister, and even though im from chicago, im not homophobic.

but i do know when people are acting gay, and im not ashamed to call someone on it.

men do not discuss the sexiness of another man when discussing sports.

if they do, they are acting gay.

that is different than being gay.

there is a lot to talk about when discussing professional sports. the shape of the pitchers leg, in an amorous way, is not acceptable. under any circumstance.

even though the Bible is against same-sex love, i am not against it. in fact it’s one of the ver few lines in the Bible that i have questions about, and confusion.

but i am not confused about what should not be bandied about when bsing about baseball.

girls have it easier. girls can talk about girls. girls can say that girls have cute outfits, how they look good, how their asses look good in clothes, etc.

men may think these thoughts, but if we say them, we are acting gay. and even though there is something fundementally wrong about this, too bad, its the cross we have to bear. in return we get to piss standing up.

similarilly we dont talk about ball players’ buttocks, hairstyles, moustashes, muscles, pearly white teeth, cold blue eyes, upper body, lower body, bellies, voices, or lips.

we can talk about batting stances.

we can say mo vaughn has a big fat ass. but youre best bet is just to allow the obvious stay that way.

when in doubt do what harry carey would do.

harry wouldnt talk about mark prior’s legs, or mo vaughn’s ass, he would see a pretty woman and say, “miss chicago is in attendence today i see.”

thats not gay.

i say this, of course, on a blog, on the internet.

gayest fucking thing ever.

nina + que sera sera + sane libs + id go with her

lest anyone be confused

im feeling on top of the world. maybe its due in part to the girl next door and my drunken exploits on friday.

maybe its due in part to the dustiny thats going on on the northside of chicago.

maybe its due in part to all the nice comments that people leave me here day after day after day rooting me on as if i was a marathoner which i am running one legged like a do cursing all the way like im apt to.

maybe its just over due.

hot babe came over the other day wearing some sweet shoes, so dazzling that i sorta wish i had a fetish.

like most people i have my fetishes. i have a hand holding fetish. i have a fetish for girls with really high voices and sorta sultry low ones. i like accents too. is that a fetish?

i dont think i have any damn fetishes.

i dated a girl in college who only wore catholic girl skirts when she’d come over to my house. i gave that girl anything she wanted. she wanted me to take her virginity though, and i wouldnt do that. i still think you should love the person you do that with and i barely knew her.

all i knew was she knew what i liked and she wanted to get rid of it and she thought that i was the best man for the job and once again someone was wrong about me.

but not by too much.

i have a fetish for smart girls. i knew this girl who would talk to me about how she was upgrading her computer and it got me crazy.

i think im just crazy.

i know im crazy.

i want to be crazy.

all these people are talking about how great coachella was, im crazy to have missed it.

sevenblock + mouche + mcblogger

sometimes i get the sweetest email.


i read your blog and the desire to become utterly fearless in my own writing is magnified 1000x.

baby, im so not fearless. if i was i wouldn’t have to cower behind the nothing in this is true malarkey.

everything in this is true, sadly, but what is left out is even truer.

utterly fearless is a phrase ive never known. even in my best secret blog i held back because i knew one day i would show it to the person i was writing it to and she’d see me for the phoney bologna that i am.

if i was smart i would just switch over to a different url like renee’ did this weekend. but then again im not hot blonde and the most talented sixteen year old in america. shit, im nearly four times her age.

if i was fearless id tell you my age)

this having a blog on a site with your real name on it is for the birds when it comes to being fearless.

if i was fearless i would interview my dick more.

hi lil tone


whats up?

ha ha, funny, i get it. why don’t you shut your pie hole and bring back ashley.

now you know why i don’t interview my dick.

problem with believing in possibilities is that i have the faintest hope that somewhere someone in a powerful position might want to actually hire me one day to do something like this for their media conglomerate and if they saw busblog uncensored their mind would be blown and they wouldn’t want to even consider sending me an email, let alone hiring me.

if i was fearless i would have about a thousand resumes out there in the world. i would actually send a formal request to the la times. i would actually try to write in a way that is printable for public consumption.

even though reality tv has been allowed to break the rules of prime time tv.

even though the white stripes has been allowed to break the rules of pop music.

even though Chicago has been allowed and rewarded in breaking the rules of making movies.

even though the president of the united states breaks so many rules every week that he’s ten times more punk rock than any real punk rockers ever were.

if i was fearless, dear reader, i would write about politics in an incendiary way so venomous… if i was fearless, i would cover sports.

if i was fearless i would have a girlfriend by now.

if i was fearless i would have remained a poet.

if i was fearless i would be a preacher.

if i was fearless there would be a 21 year old blonde girl’s name next to mine on the mailbox.

if i was fearless this shit would sizzle, daily.

chuck olsen has a white stripes / conan segment + beck’s blog + amy’s blog + mc brown’s photo journal from coachella