me and karisa are gonna get married.

dont tell her boyfriend.

i think tom vu is right. i dont have the guts to make a lot of money. i dont have what it takes to go to one of his free seminars. im so old you wouldnt believe it. i should be loaded by now. with my good looks and charm and wit and brains. shit. i should be pulling down five figures by now.

super hot chick at work has been reading this blog lately. she asks me why i do so well with the ladies. im honest when i tell her i dont know. i tell her its cuz i dont get paid, i dont have a car, i dont have my youth any more, so the lord had to give me something.

i asked her if she wanted to come over to the crib saturday night and she passed.


i wouldnt want to get into another fight with miss montreal. even though our makeup session was pretty right on.

she said she dreampt about me the other day. yes day. it was a day dream. how incredible to get daydreamed about.

the xbi has these one way glass rooms. its for interrogating. all we ever do… not we… them… all THEY ever do in those rooms is beat peoples asses and give them xbi tattoos. what they do is beat the bad guys to a pulp and then put an anchor tattoo on their shoulder and put “jimmy” or “merle” underneath it so everyone thinks theyre gay.

i think the whole thing is gay.

anyway, i was in there today watching some dudes interrogate some dudes and i saw myself in the reflection of the window and i was all, what? these chicks dont mind looking at that? it was baffling.

unfortunately one of my buddies was reading my mind and esp’ed me with

if chicks had taste john mayer wouldnt sell so many records

and i was all, but i dont even look like john mayer!

then i heard the tattoo guy roll his shit into the interrogation room, i heard the familiar whirrrrrr of the tattoo shit and they said what name are you dudes putting under the anchor.

and they looked around and said


and thats the luck ive had today.

good and bad luck.

cuz as much as i love karisa she wouldnt let me have the two au pair girls that my babies would need, and she definately wouldnt go for the live in gogo dancer that i’d really like in my advanced age.

and what would we do when the redsox face the cubs in the series this year?


kate sullivan + candied ginger + annika

some people like having their ass licked.

i dont. but some do. i probably shouldnt say i dont cuz ive never tried, but i doubt that i would like it. still i think people should be allowed to have their ass licked, and im glad that in most of america people still have that right.

i like to listen to howard stern on the radio. i also like to watch him on the tv. some people dont like him and thats fine. many havent even tried to like him and thats fine too. still i think that people should be allowed to listen to howard on the radio and watch him on the tv, and im glad that in most of america people still have that right.

someone asked me why the democrats helped pass the indeceny bill that cruised through the house the other day. this is the bill that would fine a performer up to a half million dollars for doing things like saying the word fuck, exposing a nipple on tv, or talking about excretory thingies.

i told them that the dems are smart enough to know that the bill isnt something that they want to fight over right now. theyre about to get the white house again and the only way that they could fuck it up would be to come across as Pro-Ass Licking

or worse… Pro-Howard Stern.

i can bitch all day long about how the repubs are taking freedoms away from regular americans, imposing their will on nations around the world, and ruining our economy.. but at least theyre not afraid to do Something – even if it’s terribly wrong, immoral, and backasswards.

but the dems are pretty much just chickenshits getting whomped in the political game at every turn.

they let their excited, strong, angry man get removed because he was excited.

if ever there was a moment for someone to say, excuse me but fuck off, it was the day after the “liberal media” gave him a hard time for the Dean Scream. instead he hesitated and lost steam.

like a bitch.

seems to me that only one Dem has learned from the bushies that politics in this new century isnt about being classy or playing by the rules, or being smooth, or smart or graceful, and thats the guy who says things under his breath when he knows his mic is on.

the one Dem who will be the next president of the united states.

a Dem who isnt going to get faked out by bullshit bills that wont be enforced once the Dems regain their rightful place again. rightful cuz they did the right things when they were in it last time, rightful because they got more votes in 2000, rightful because theyve shown themselves as being better at that gig right now.

they just suck at getting there and staying there.

maybe its too much to ask for leaders who can be courageous about fighting the right fights and defending those who arent politically correct to appreciate.

maybe im too idealistic when i think there has to be a few hundred Americans who can articulate their ideals and have the ability to communicate them to the people who have elected them as representatives.

maybe im nuts to think that we need to go back to throwing people out who are paid to represent us, but turn the tables and inflict their values on the people when it should be the other way around.

the dems and the repubs are there because we are here doing our thing. Somebody has to work out the details surrounding laws and taxes and shit like that so we hire those representatives to do that crap on our behalf.

they should not be making policy, they should be doing our will.

and we’re just as bad cuz we keep voting these motherfuckers in.

some people like being told what theyre supposed to like. i dont. but some do. those people are called fashion victims. theyre not called voters.

be a voter

and when you do vote, may i recommend that you vote from a place of reason, not a place of manufactured fear

sublog + george must go + coyote