is there anything better than a scarred up black dude

being able to marry a hot blonde supermodel?

no. no, there isnt.

especially when hes as black as can be. and especially when shes as white as can be.

what makes it so great is it wasnt all that long ago when a black man could barely look at a white girl here in america, let alone marry her, so congratulations on your engagement, seal, and heidi klum.

today at the xbi we had a suprise baby shower for a woman named heidi who everyone loves.

she walked into the meeting room and maybe 35 people were in there and we yelled suprise! which is a scary thing to do here cuz when you startle even the pregnant agents gunplay is sure to follow.

fortunately someone disarmed her before she was escorted to the conference room

the door flung open and she just backed away in tears.

so beautiful.

so sweet.

then we made her cut the cake for everyone.

me and john woo got her a $50 gift certificate for marie callanders cuz we figured that 6-7 pies while youre pregnant is a good gift for both mommy and baby, but what do we know.

while we were eating cake a hot chick told me that she liked my last post. shocked, because not many people at work know about this blog, i was all, huh

i have the worst memory

apparently she had told me a while ago that she read this thing. she refreshed my memory and told me that she too has a blog.

i was all, great, let me link it, thanks to mr stand by me trek i have hella hits happening me right now

she was all, nah, my thing is just a personal blog of blah blah blah today i went shopping.

i was all, dude, do you think the busblog is any different?

she was all, but you write so well.

flattery will get you everywhere

i gave her my cake and promised that id link her whenever she wanted.

its all i had to give, sadly.

laker girl photo essay starring seal from 2001 + kitty bukkake + mist

dear music execs,

fuck you. this is why people steal.

there was nothing better last night than hearing the entire Orange Bowl boo ashlee simpson.

nobody cares that 3 million kids bought her cd. nobody cares that her sister is a baloney headed mostly hot bleach blonde. nobody cares that she actually sang this time.


and as much as that orange bowl crowd were booing her they were booing you. you who wouldnt know real music if it annulled your gay marriage.

you have done everything you could do for ashlee. you got her an mtv show that nobody liked. you got her on saturday night live which everyone loved because it showed her/you for what the industry is (fraudulent), and now you got her singing at halftime during the biggest college football game of the year.

youve done your job, youve moved your units


how about bringing the world what it wants. rock music. people who can sing. people who can play guitars. people who actually make music.

you dont think that if you got a real band a show on mtv that it would move some fucking units?

you dont think if you got that band on snl and they smashed their guitars and gangbanged horatio sans that it might increase sales?

you dont think if you got a true rock band on the 50 yard line during the BCS Bowl that the entire stadium would omg cheer?

fuck you record industry. purveyor of schmaltz. sugar pusher of audio cavities from spineless teensluts who DONT PUT OUT.

and three baggers like ashlee deserved to be booed until she gets it.

if there was a way to boo you, record industry trust us, we would.

and in hell you will be forced to listen to what you shat our way.

elgin roots + george must go + rock n roll n word