can you believe that people are still writing me

asking why i dont want ads on my blog?

ok, for the last time. i dont want them because im afraid of many things, the biggest being that i am afraid that it will change me. and worse, it will change this blog.

did any of you hear about all these scandals that are happening from the White House? the government is using your tax dollars to encourage journalists to pimp things like straight marriages, No Child Left Behind and the like?

well yeah it sucks that BushCo is taking our monies for their own propaganda.

but can you really say that if someone offered you a quarter million dollars to say “yay Bush” that you wouldnt take it?

i cant say that i wouldnt.

who cant use six figures for writing shit down?

or linking?

even if you dont actually need the money im sure you can find something to do with it.

i just dont want to get into that situation.

there are lots of situations i dont want to get into because i know what sort of sellout i can be if need be, or manwhore, or blogger.

best thing the xbi ever did was get me out of the office and into chopper one because if i was in front of a computer all day i would be posting a dozen times a day.

so no, i dont want the snowball of ads to roll into an avalanche. i dont need that sort of temptation because i will go to the dark side. i will do something stupid. i would be easilly manipulated by those with the deep pockets and its not that i would feel guilty later, but i would feel dirty.

and when i ever got to heaven the Lord would look at me and say, so we gave you talent, and an audience, and what did you do, you wrote down things that you didnt really believe in and took money.

we let you live during the age of information and you withheld information and instead spread propaganda.

and then He would punish me for squandering His gifts.

as He should.

me, i just want to have a firm handshake when i get up there, i want a quick tour, and i want to get fitted for my wings and fly over to the banana split ski slopes

and eat my way down to the rocky road riverbed.

and then introduce myself to the Playmates.

give to caesar whats caesar’s

my treasure is in the kingdom of heaven.

and i bet there arent any fucking ads up there either.

shane + chris j paul + sk smith

a year ago


ghost band ghost band theres a ghost band, girl, playing our song yeah. drank beers and rum ate bowling alley shrimp fried rice and got to hang with an x xbi director which was a pleasant surprise because i always liked him and i was shocked when he had to turn in his flying car. its a strange planet we’re rotating on he esped to me. but i kept thinking of rancid.

hot girl earlier in the day got shot standing right next to me. i dont talk about her much because we’re undercover of course and if anyone saw a brotha with a fro and a super cute korean girl keeping it real one might get the impression that theyd seen us before in that neck of the woods and suddenly we wouldnt be so much undercover. but it looks like thats not going to be the case any more and it was mighty scary let me tell you.

on the way home from bowling tonight i stopped by the hospital and whispered little secrets into her ear. her hospital is very close to my house. after a while she told me that it hurt to laugh and asked me to stop.

hospitals are never the way you wish they were.

she said if you ever see me getting interviewed on the view, shoot me.

i said, if you ever see me getting interviewd on carson daly, carpet bomb me.

she said, if you ever see me wearing a hoop dress punch me in the nose

i said blink once if you want me to climb on top of you

she said if you get on top of me i will knee you in the family jewels.

i said what if i like my family jewels kneed

she said then climb on top

of me.


and fell asleep with that little smile going

and i stole the little chocolate from her dinner tray she had pushed away

snipped a bud from one of her many bouquets.

kissed her nose

for the first time

kissed her forhead

for the first time

undressed her with my eyes

for the tenth time

that day.

and whispered that it was going to be ok.

zulieka + matt got a signed copy of how to blog + get yours by emailing me and i will send you a paypal invoice

this week in rock in la

psychedelic furs, house of blues
steve poltz, troubador
america, the canyon
angry samoans, knitting factory
kottonmouth kings, key club
katie melua, roxy

tomorrow 1/29
ac/dshe, spaceland
wanda jackson, knitting factory
kings of leon + the features, roxy
bad samaritans, el rey
hollywood kittens, viper room

sunday 1/30
smothers brothers, cerritos center
etta james, house of blues
ralph stanley & his clinch mountain boys, mccabes
the lt. dan band (ft. gary sinise), the canyon

monday 1/31
scissor sisters, wiltern
metal skool, roxy

tuesday 2/1
…and you will know us by the trail of dead, cinespace
ditty bops (pictured), tangier
third grade teacher, knitting factory

wednesday 2/2
hem, troubador

thurs 2/3
george clinton, henry fonda
leann rimes, roxy
star fuckers, the cat club
m.i.a., knitting factory

koganuts + hot toddy + im nominated for a bloggie

barter control

mohammed wears these little knit caps

not like the gang members whose caps are

blue and black

sloppy and snarling

ominous in their coverage

mohammeds is grey

with little white patterns

folded up where it oughtta be.

his son’s name is mohammed and about thirty

and works the register while dad wears old sweaters

keeps his arms crossed and back to

the pepsi fridge and

watches the transactions take place.

i havent brushed my teeth today.

last night i asked mohammed if they had

a frequent buyer program

for the beer.

i like to joke a little.

but we buy black label and its like

seven bucks for a twelve pack

bud is nine bucks.

mohammed says

no my friend

and you can see the he hasnt

brushed his teeth today


bunnie + waking up in amsterdam + galitechnia + red room