hi famous photographer david lachapelle

hi tony

what are you doing?

getting a mug shot.

what did you do?

got shitfaced here at sundance.

dude, you rule.


i swear, gay guys even look good taking mug shots.

hey now.

seriously, i look like ass no matter what i do. if i had a tv show named bloggers with raymi as my cohost i would just wear mexican wrestling masks all the time.

i love those mexican wrestlers.


well hey tony, i have to go get fingerprinted now, but i wanted to congratulate you on your bloggie award nomination.

oh thanks david lachapelle.

yeah man, best blog post about blogging for the post “how to blog”. thats pretty impressive.

not as impressive as that bruise of yours. could it have been more perfectly placed?

who are you up against?

im not sure, the bloggies web site keeps shutting down for exceeding its bandwidth.

must be a pretty popular contest.

must be.

think you’ll win?

yes. i do. its a list. people love lists. people love having their thoughts numbered and organized for them and sliced up into bitesized pieces. im sure i’ll win.

so tony are you worried? i think youre up against a few british newspapers.

they’ll cancel each other out.

what do you win if you win?

last time i checked nobody had donated any prizes. im hoping someone donates a washer drier.

tony, they have mtv in here. its horrible. theyre doing the top ten rock countdown. the most rocking thing theyve had on the list are the killers who if you recall has sythesizers in it.

thats not rock.

so not.

good luck in jail david lapachelle.

thanks tony, good luck out there in freedom.

will do!

fil + sutter + kate sullivans rock blog

Hey Tony,

ribs I don’t know if you read your emails or not, but I have been reading your site almost everyday for the past two years and really appreciate both the things you say and how you say them. I don’t always agree, but I admire the way you put yourself out there and do it.

Anyways, I’m writing because after reading your series of postings on your old girlfriend I was wondering if you would write your ideas for getting over a broken heart. Mine’s been thoroughly broken by a guy and I guess I figure words of wisdom from a 111 year old man might help. I’m pretty good at falling in love, it’s the out of it that I need some help with.



Hi Jennifer,

Firstly, thank you for being such a loyal reader for such a long time. I’m sorry that you and your man have parted ways, but yes you came to the right place.

in my 111 years of walking this crust i too have fallen in love and had my heart broken. there are many paths to love but only one way to cure a heartbreak.

a new love.

you can weep you can reminisce, you can dwell, you can drink, enter a life of crime, become a workaholic, find religion, cut your hair, work out, binge, purge, switch politcal parties, become a world famous blogger, start new vices, become a tax attorney – but the only thing that will mend a broken heart is a new love interest and a new relationship.

you can fool yourself into thinking that you’re over a past love, but you can’t truly shut that door until a new one opens.

my advice is to start dating anyone who asks. jump in. jump in head first.

i also recommend putting everything that reminds you of your past love into boxes, storage, and/or the trash. only spend a total of one weekend performing this task. dont make it long and drawn out. the idea is to rid your life of the past, so put everything into boxes, seal them up and put them into the garage, crawl spaces, or dark closets and do not open these up until you know in your heart that its ok to open them.

heres how you know its ok to open them: when theres a new dude in your house who turns around when you yell, yo boyfriend!

i lived with my true love for 5 years. the minute i knew that we were going to call it quits i started finding who i was going to date next (pictured). it’s the only way.

some think that it’s disrespectful to your old relationships to get new loves right away, those people are fools. life is painfully short. if you can find love instead of suffering and sadness, go for the love. if you can find lust instead of misery and loneliness, get yourself a little backseat lust.

if you must mope, do it in poems, post the poems on your blog and once youve hit “publish post” pop some porn into the vcr and get the blood moving in your body. when youre done go to the nearest bar and flirt with the hottest person you see. there is nothing to lose if you do this, except for the sadness.

and sadness is not your friend.

gorilla mask + terra + paige

one of the nice things about being a million years old

is that i got to grow up watching johnny carson, one of the classiest on-air personalities ever. you dont see a lot of that these days.

perhaps the problem is that with competition came crap, and with crap came people thinking that they had to dumb themselves down to the crap.

carson had pretty much zero competition. for most of his run there were only two other serious networks and only one of them, abc, had anything semi-worthwhile to watch (nightline), but if you wanted to see celebs being interviewed by a real celeb there was only one “choice”, Johnny.

yes people will say that arsenio was competition but he wasn’t. he was a clown. he embodied some of the worst stereotypes of black culture, and even though he wasn’t gay he sure acted and dressed faggy. and now history has shown him to be the clown and fad that we all suspected that he was. woof woof indeed.

I understand and respect that Carson was a deeply private man. I understand that that led to his request to have no memorial service, but what I don’t understand is how he let leno take his chair. Carson clearly had a bond to Letterman, the last interview show that he did was on the Late Show. during one period of time The Tonight Show accounted for 17% of all of NBC’s income, so therefore why on earth wouldnt the network have allowed Johnny to pick his obvious successor?

because hollywood is run by idiots who havent a clue what originality and talent is, for if they did you wouldnt even know arsenios name and leno would be a comedian that you’d see from time to time in vegas, and as a guest on the tonight show starring david letterman.

johnny carson sailed his yacht to africa and hid out in malibu and kept as far away from tvland after he retired on purpose, because it’s a dirty world slithering with gutless snakes and untalented mimics.

when they say there will never be another johnny carson again it’s true. with a zillion channels, how are you ever going to find a network willing to take a chance on a low-key intelligent talk show host who enjoys jazz and class?

and what network would give someone years to build his audience and catch on to his style and allow for the time that it takes to bring back the lost art of conversation?

if i ran my favorite channel, e!, i would have a late night talk show hosted by a young intellect who enjoyed the finer parts of life, entertainment, and wished to follow in the footsteps of the late great johnny carson.

this person would have to be funny, enjoyable to watch, central to the hollywood infrastructure, and interested in being on television every day.

and different to what has already been paraded in front of us for late night interview shows.

my choice of course would be miss drew barrymore.

whose movie acting skillz are thin and beautifully disguised.

however, if i was showtime or hbo, i would give howard stern a boatload of money once he moves over to Sirius and i would put him on HBO3 or Showtime3 and present his radio show uncut from the hours of 7p-11p and give people an alternative to the primetime crap that they currently have.

of course youre not going to watch howard for four hours every night, but you might watch him for a half hour or for an hour of maybe even for 90 minutes if theres nothing on “regular” tv.

and there will be boobies.

showtime should seriously consider it because showtime3 from 7p-11p isnt luring anyone away from the networks during primetime and the two van damme movies that they would be playing at that time have been already seen by whatever meatheads would be tuned in, and those fellas, im sure, would much rather seen midgets throw balogna at the asses of porn stars via the howard stern show.

because if you cant find another johnny carson, you may as well go the opposite direction. especially if that other direction is interesting and risk-taking and fresh.

and if i ran mtv thered be a late night concert every weeknight hosted by mr henry rollins. of course.

kitty bukkake + britcoal + how appealing + starskream