highlights from august 2004

on the busblog

8/1 what the busblog would look like if i was a real blogger

8/2 kissing while on a skateboard

8/2 how i spent my summer vacation by kristin pony

8/3 danielle in front of her rolls

8/3 6. FAVORITE SMELL? tie: pot at concerts, incense in church

8/4 the day danielle got stung by a bee (photo essay)

8/5 kate sullivan writes about the loduca trade

8/6 the night i met steph and lola

8/7review of outfoxxed

8/9 all-night summer drink session with blair and welch

8/9 the day danielle went jogging in an area that said beware west nile virus.

and then she got the flu.

8/10 i admit, i dated a cuban girl for uno momento,

8/10 jim gilliam performs the first quicktime fisking.

mr. bill o’reilly is the not-so-innocent victim

8/11 the day i got my ipod (photo essay)

8/11 even more answering machine messages from my very own answering machine

8/12 trying to get beastie boys tickets

8/14 the night i was given love potion

8/15 fcc chairman michael powell receives a drunken comment on his blog. he never blogs again.

8/15 norah jones was on and i wanted to ask her if it was on because she thought it was sexy or because it is sexy or because she thought i might think it was sexy but i was afraid our impromptu debate would ruin the mood so i bit her lip and asked her if she had any coltrane.

8/16 favorite thing to do on the weekends: think about writing

favorite soundtrack: urg: a music war

what was the first thing you thought to yourself when you woke up this morning: god im lucky.

8/16 danielle has lunch at my house

8/16 today is charles bukowski’s birthday. my hero. the greatest writer of all time. the reason for everything.

tonight i write to you from hollywood california, where the king of the world once lived. lived for a long time. drank mostly but lived a lot too.

bukowski, savior to the underclass, defender of the forgotten. hope to the ugly and the scarred and the uncool and the sick.

proof that poetry can come from everywhere, even the drunkard in the corner with the bag around his bottle.

8/17 im always amazed by the ignorance and cowardice of the anonymous commentors. i know there are people who lurk out there. i even know that some of them are quite famous and powerful.

some of my friends know these people and they ask me occasionally if i know how badass i am to have these people as readers, but im not impressed.

8/18 when danielle cant find me at my desk she will call my cell phone, when i dont pick that up she calls me in Chopper One, something ive asked her not to do as, well, we’re fighting crime. thats what we do.

some of us work for a living, ive been known to tell her.

some of us dont sit on a stool selling flowers to cheating husbands and begging wanna-be boyfriends.

8/18 on days like these that just speed by, when the bad guys just lay on the curb waiting to die, as blood drains between the grates in the sewers and the little kids cry

i sit on the bumper of the undercover smoking the remains of a marlboro 100 and i wonder when mi vida loca will be over and not so loca.

8/18 ll cool j photo essay

8/19 hungover for the first time all year.

8/20 karisa and i drink at a rooftop pool with all of la’s coolest

8/20 danielles last day in america

8/21 matthews vs malkin

8/21 weekend wrapup

8/22 hi vacation

hi tony, what are you going to do with me?

im not gonna go to work thats for damn sure.

8/23 the day we found out that one of the presidents medals was unearned

8/23 juilette lewis and the licks

8/23 blogger turns 5

8/25 sunset junction street fair 53-page photo essay

8/25 john kerry meets jon stewart

8/27 46 page wordless photo essay

8/29 i start writing how to blog

8/30 john mccain was hot tonight at the rnc convention

8/30 instapundit has 35 posts, mentions bush six times but never once brings up the fact that today was the day that the president admitted that this war in iraq was unwinable

virginia + fat free milk + sk smith

highlights of july ’04

on the busblog

7/2 fireworks at the dodger game

7/4 100 greatest american men of all time

7/4 fourth of july photo essay

7/5 i love america. i think sometimes people dont think that i do but i do. i love america not just because of the topless beaches, but also because of the autobahn and the sushi.

i love the “coffee” houses, the free universal health care, and the quality of public schools.

i love all the titties on tv, the rational defense of the second amendment, and the liberal use of the first cuz i love to hear the word fuck on my tv.

7/6 when trouble calls

7/6 the game is called take a picture until you get laid

7/7 big brother season premier review

7/7 fifteen minute photo essay

7/8 hi president bush

tony, i cant talk to you.

come on. just for a sec.

no. there are two people im being told not to talk to. michael moore and tony pierce.

dude, but im your bro.

no. and… what?

7/8 when death goes crazy

7/8 a picture a day until i get laid

7/9 you from oakland

7/10 anchorman review

7/11 sam shapiro called this one pure poetry

7/12 reuters quoted me as i dissed michael powell on his “blog”. he later quit blogging that month. because hes a pussy. and a tool.

7/13 spiderman 2 review

7/13 steve dahl disco demolition tribute

7/13 she says she wants to do me but then says she cant because of her boyfriend. who’s not even her real bf. its so complicated.

everything in hollywood is drama. have i ever told you that?

7/14 why the president isnt a Christian

7/14 lakers trade shaq to miami

like retards

7/15 danielle shows off a tanline

7/15 the day the president said fuck you naacp

7/15 dear kobe,

7/16 Riggs Bank gets sold, nobody cares

7/16 a picture of britney spears in a bikini thinking about me

7/16 lets just call him a friend of the family

7/18 when are we going to hang out again baby.

you mean do it? never. its over tony.

is he really that good in the sack?

thats none of your business.

moan twice if you miss me.

you know i miss you.

moan twice then.


7/19 i dont know why im here, she said. youre disgusting.

the cheerleader is always right i said and let her in as two english muffins popped up.

they stayed up as we kissed in the doorway, lip kisses cuz tongue is what’s cheating.

7/20 dumber than normal (photo essay)

7/21 some tips on photo essays

7/20 tsar concert review with two hot babes and a convertible

7/21 in the rain the cubs beat the she said dont start off by talking about baseball, you’ll lose all the girls.

7/22 how not to ride the bus

7/22 how to treat an annoying chick while on a stakeout

7/22 shes not flipping me off, shes saying come over here. no wait, shes flipping me off.

7/23 the president talked down to black folk today, i will talk up to him

7/23 why jessica simpson is a millionaire

7/24 you know, im starting to think the president is a deserter

7/26 three posts about the first day of the dem convention, this was the one where al gore arrived

7/27 bill clinton at the convention

7/27 two cute pics of danielle

7/28 kristin dunst and i watch barack obama

7/28 al sharpton steals the show

7/29 the summer wind blew a little kid’s empty saltine wrapper over the bike path, tumbling across the lush green lawn and nearly into the koi pond before i had a chance to step on it for the little dickens so he could recycle it into his backpocket

which a cartwheel easilly freed.

danielle was scooping out some yogurt complaining that shes going to go mary-kate on my ass and stop eating entirely because shes fat and almost before she could finish her sentence i had popped her good in the thigh

as is our deal for whenever she begins blabbering the ridiculous.

she grabbed her bare leg and laughed and said “good one” acting every bit the masochist that she probably is

although she claims the contrary.

7/30 john kerrys semi lame speech is discussed

7/31 the cubs sign nomah

muscle68 + terra + j.mo + paige

highlights from june of 2004

on the busblog

6/1 anna came over yesterday right before the laker game.

6/1 dear the pope

6/2 the top ten most underrated blogs on the internet

6/2 yes it’s true i just had breakfast with the mysterious and glamorous zulieka from zulieka dot com. (pictured)

6/2 when i think of the president of the united states, this is what i see.

i see a fucking retard.

6/3 i saw the blind leading the blind today. it was killer.

6/4 i just made the greatest guns n roses mix cd for karisa

Yesterdays – Use Your Illusion II

Patience – Lies

Don’t Cry – Use Your Illusion I

Live and Let Die – Use Your Illusion I

Raw Power – The Spaghetti Incident?

You’re Crazy – Appetite for Destruction

Since I Don’t Have You – The Spaghetti Incident?

Welcome To The Jungle – Live Era ’87 – ’93

Paradise City – Live Era ’87 – ’93

Nightrain – Live Era ’87 – ’93

Sweet Child o’ Mine – Appetite for Destruction

Rocket Queen – Appetite for Destruction

Mama Kin – Lies

Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door – Use Your Illusion II

November Rain – Use Your Illusion I

Used To Love Her – Lies

6/4 today is angelina jolie’s twenty ninth birthday

6/5 why the president is a fucking retard. by tony pierce, 110

if you ever go to the special olympics you will see a spirit that is absent from any other sporting activity you’ll ever witness: unconditional love and reward.

even the slowest, most fumbiling child who finishes a race gets a hug. a loving embrace for participating in the event. a symbol and an action that says, you tried and thats all that matters.

you are loved.

the only institution that mimics this behavoir is the united states of america and it’s relationship to the president of the united states, george bush, and the people and things that he supports.

6/6 after calling the sitting president a fucking retard id be a fucking asshole if i didn’t celebrate the death of the president who started all this bullshit.

6/6 one day i will die. and on that day i hope that if you respect me you will do the only thing that i have ever asked of anyone

and thats to be honest.

6/7 Bukowski: Born into This – movie review

6/7 sometimes when you strap on your helmet and climb into chopper one you feel like a superstar. a hero. a crimefighter.


sometimes you sit in there and you look out at hollywood underneath you and all you see is evil.

6/7 howard owens writes tony part one

6/8 more answering machine messages

6/10 top ten reasons oj is not guilty

number ten: the columbian necktie.

(this post was later added to the wikipedia

6/12 in which i explain why the lakers will win the finals

6/14 linda came to visit me, this is what i think of her

6/15 a nice picture of absinthe being poured into a glass

6/16 exclusive interview with shaquille o’neal

6/16 how to blog

the post that would inspire the book

6/17 madpony calls it quits

6/18 the world is introduced to danielle (pictured)

6/19 napolean dynomite movie review

6/21 dear amazon dot com, are you fucking kidding me?

6/22 had the monkey dream again this time with a weird ending

dozens of monkeys of all sorts are in a smoke-filled room. as usual. some smoking cigarettes, some with cigars. some circled around hookahs.

6/23 i havent gotten any in two and a half weeks. it’s the longest drought ive had in years. i had a good thing going with ms. kournikova but i think i fucked it up somehow. not sure how. but i think i had something to do with it.

6/24 dear michael moore,

6/25 the ironic reason im still at the xbi

6/28 fahrenheit 9/11 movie review

6/28 rotten tomatoes: 130 positive reviews of f 9/11, 25 negative proving that republican bloggers are lousy movie critics.

6/29 my experience is you cant get a crying girl into a naked girl within an hour. and as it was 1am, and my bedtime is 2am i figured either i could be a friend or i could be a dick.

6/29 howard owens part two

6/30 danielle said lets blow this taco stand and i said i dont have any more c4. she said no, i mean lets make like a tree and get the fuck outta here. i was all language madame! she was all vous les vous couchez avec moi c’est saw. i was all c’est saw? she was all, can we please have lunch now?

vortexia + howard owens + chokey chicken + vaine

highlights from may 04

on the busblog

5/1 review of the secret pixies pre-coachella show in pomona

5/4 interview with karisa on her birthday

5/5 advice for the leggy ladies of la

5/5 everything i know about sex i learned from anna kournikova

5/6 grab the book nearest you

5/7 i cannot imagine a more easy choice in november than to kick george bush off american idol, and if no one wants to be the simon cowell and cross their arms and say




in a way that people get it, and agree, then the democrats dont deserve to exist any more

5/8 in case you missed it, the secretary of defense donald rumsfield got his righteous ass handed to him on capital hill yesterday.

5/9 me and karisa go to a lakers + spurs playoff game

5/9 best survivor ever

5/10 blogger support saves my ass again

5/11 tenth best picture of the year

5/13 anticipating my annual xbi review

5/14 derek fisher hits that three pointer against the spurs

5/14 people are talking about moveable type when they should be talking about how for every good mt blog theres a blogspot blog that kicks its ass.

so smart and yet forget that it starts with the writing.

and it ends with the writing.

5/16 the best thing about last night’s saturday night live season finale is the promise that it was jimmy fallon’s last show.

the problem wasnt that he was gay.

the problem was that he was gay and not funny.

and he tried to rip off and replace adam sandler.

in a gay way.

5/17 a live chat with eBay support

5/18 why i write by tony pierce

(inspired by a photograph of salman rushdie’s miss universe-worthy fiance)

5/19 bad news: even though i had a great year, the xbi gives me a negative review

5/19 good news: the new york times interviews me for a story about blogging

5/20 why spelling doesnt matter

5/21 i introduce the honest-bloggers quiz. many take it. exactly the ones who you expect to avoid it, avoid it.

5/23 on a blog post about blogger burnout

7. The “Master Bloggers,” whoever you think those may be, are strange in the first place. mr. cowen writes. and i would tend to agree. although i dont get enough hits to consider myself a master blogger, i admit to being strange in the first place. and prolific is just a polite way to say obsessive in the same way reclusive is a nice way to say shut-in, the same way eccentric is just a spin on saying rich ‘n’ crazy. although no one ever calls james brown, mike tyson, or michael jackson eccentric so maybe it doesnt apply if youre black (or were black).

5/24 its funny how money moves you places. its funny how we allow it all to happen to us and pretend like we dont have any choice other than to follow the end of the rainbow.

5/24 i first met miss spain universe, mar’a jesos ruiz garz-n, in a topless tapas joint in madrid in january 2000.

5/26 life, just like dating, just like most things, is about going out there with your big fat black bat and beating people over the head with it and dragging home what you can. you can be nice all you want but opportunity rarely knocks, youve got to knock it over and sink your teeth in and take a huge bite.

how do you think we got america.

5/26 i was mentioned in the new york times

5/27 prince concert review at staples center

5/27 why the ny times didnt mention my age

5/27 Riggs Bank, the #1 story that the Instapundit ignored in 2004

5/27 the value of kisses

5/28 the day i sang for raymi

5/30 who told the pope we gave a fuck what he thinks?

aaron clemens + xtx + saidy + kitty bukkake