fucker called me boring.

i told you i was boring. but you were all no way tony youre the greatest.

i have been boring.

i havent told you what my fingers smell like or how it happened.

i quit smoking weed on your ass right in the middle of summer

without any warning.

without due cause.

you were minding your own business and all of a sudden the bong was given to the homeless and i shut the door on the cheerleaders and hid out.

i didnt even do anything fun like read the bible straight through.

the naysayers neigh and that ok

thats their little role in the game.

when i sat in the bleachers as a kid thats what we’d say to the stars: bullshit.

i was a good talker so id go all day.

god damn youre fat

you suck so bad you swallow

jizz is only a hundred calories

thats how much you swallow

no wonder you bend over all day

god damn.

people would look at me like fuck but the cubs sucked in those days so there wasnt hardly anyone in the bleachers.

which was nice because the players actually heard you.

many great outfielders turned around to ask me to quiet down

everyone wants to be looked at by someone cooler

what else was i called… smug.

my smugness is barfy,


told ya i was turnin barfy

but you were all no way man you fuckin RULE! WOOO!

but my shit was turning barfy

right there

right on the beautiful internets

some motherfucker from nowhere with eight friends even knows that the busblog had become barfy and no one said shit

had to hear it from a dude with three question marks for a last name

wtf is that america

mr t was on stern and he said that sly had him really hitting him in rocky iii

and before that in rehearsals and all.

im not interested in using my superpowers for silly little fights with dumbshits

who dont matter

just to prove i can do it

just like i dont always talk about the pussy i get,

or how i got it


im pretty fuckin smug. id agree.

went to this punk rock show today and i was mighty fucking smug there.

fourteen year old girls were there. even some thirteen year olds.

only reason i know that is because the girl i was with went up to these girls and asked them.

one of the girls had a pink ramones shirt on

and i truly dont think she knew the ramones classic “do you wanna dance” was being played inbetween bands.

she just played with her hair and fingered her cellphone.

a cute little mosh pit broke out for about a minute into each of the faster songs

moms bopped their heads in the back of the club,

the key club, formerly gazarris, next to the famous rainbow room on sunset.

great bands have played there. as in great.

rodney on the roq walked on stage to introduce


who looked like three tommy stinsons with sparkly suits and mohawks and innocense and a shred of talent.

i should have stayed longer but im smug and after hearing the sex pistols, the clash, the jam, and the ramones over the PA before these kids hit the stage i was all, this sucks compared to the legends.

but they were ok.

a good turnout for a show whose openers started at 8pm sharp.

maybe the busblog only had an edge because i mostly wrote it at work where i was stifled and disrespected, and now that im happy where i work i hardly want to take breaks to write and all id say is how happy i am.

tralala and shit.

today a bunch of us went to acapulcos for lunch

it was fun.

what am i again?

barfy. right.


i agree.

i dont know what i have to be smug about either.

im just a douche like

tony hawk and tony bennett


is that why that dude has three question marks at the end of his name

cuz hes all fucked up after reading blogs that diss you by saying you suck as bad as tony hawk and tony bennett


im gonna get right to working on that barfy problem that ive just been made aware of though, america.

and canada.

in fact, canada, leave me some questions to ask matt good the next time i podcast with him.

all i ever wanna talk about is politics, and obviously since we agree on pretty much everything it doesnt make for the most lively dialogue.

obviously a guy like the instapundit would be a far better podcast partner with matt, but it also might open pandoras box.

its one of the worlds poplar bloggers, professor glenn reynolds birthday. hes 29 years young today.

smelly danielly + kevynn malone + small island girl

people are jealous of me

and its cute. if i wasnt me id probably be jealous of me too. especially if i was a maddox (pictured) wannabe who loved coldplay and starbucks and lived in frisco ten years too late.

or a guy who knows nothing about making a decent blog so he changed his name to mirror mine so as to try to gank some of my google hits – he has subsequently quit blogging (after posting an ironic last post), which is definately not the way i’d wanna go out.

but because i am me i know a thousand reasons not to be jealous of me so this morning i will give you one of them: the hell i go through to buy things.

yesterday it took me like an hour and a half to buy new sneakers. it took that long because for some reason buying shoes is the most political activity i ever find myself involved in. even moreso than voting for president, because at least with elections i pretty much vote for who i like.

the problem with buying shoes is, nike has the best designs but no way in hell would i ever buy their shoes because they use third world sweatshops and then charge the highest price for their shoes.

im all for a free market but i dont think that its right to be a part of the greed cycle.

nike doesnt need to exploit third world countries to remain competitive in the market. they could very easilly either pay their third world employees a reasonable wage AND charge $100 for jordans, or they could move their factories back to the usa and charge $125 for jordans.

but to exploit AND charge the highest price i feel is disgusting and im always surprised when i see politically correct millionaires who should know better, like, say, jennifer anniston, sporting nikes.

after the tibetan freedom concert that i attended in sf’s polo fields i was pretty much convinced not to buy shoes made in china either. this has been increasingly tough because my favorite brand, converse was recently bought by nike making them off limits to me AND they are now made in china.

hell, pretty much every shoe is made in china these days.

because i have no fashion sense, i wear the same pair of sneakers every damn day. and because of my finicky political stance about shoes, ive been the proud owner of some (relatively) expensive pumas for the last two years. i dont mind paying double the going rate for shoes though because i get my moneys worth. i paid about $75 for my kicks two years ago which means i paid about $37/year or $3 a month. thats like seventy five cents a week for my most imporant accessory.

so yesterday for some reason i just felt like driving. it was gorgeous after work and i had my window down and it was warm and i had just filled up my car with gas and you know how good your car drives for some reason with a full tank… so i just kept driving east. in echo park i remembered there was a Shoe Outlet of some sort.

it was an irritating store whose banda music kept clicking on and off because their radio was on its last legs and i even told the pimply faced dude that unless he threw the radio out the window or put in a cd i would kill everyone in the store. the security guard raised an eyebrow so i turned to him and said, do i have a point bro? and he nodded and chilled. a snoop dogg cd was popped in and i was able to try to figure out my new shoe situation in peace.

the store had seven rows of sneakers for men. three were nikes. i tried not to look, but its impossible. they make great shoes. and the jordans were incredible. then i wandered the rows looking for non-gay sneakers. their puma selection was horrible and their clearance section didnt really have any 10 1/2s. there was a pair of cons that i really liked but what could i do, so i kept moving on.

way in the back were some DC skate shoes. they werent made in china or indonesia. some were made in vietnam. i wasnt sure what to think about that. but some were made in mexico because this store was incredibly shady. i could live with mexican gray market skate shoes, so i tried a pair on but they had this gayass velcro top thing where you would normally tie your laces.

i tried them on and they fit right, they were black with red lettering and a little bit of white which looked like sorta old school chicago bulls, so i bought them for $60 and felt good.

then i saw they were selling basketballs and i had recently found some basketball courts that nobody used because it was in the center of gangland. because i am no one to truly be jealous of, im not afraid to die since i have nothing to lose, so when i saw those basketballs i was all “thats how you can get rid of those extra ten pounds around the waistline”.

there were twelve basketballs. eight were nike. all eight were spectacular. my favorite was an old aba red white and blue one. so that meant i had four spaldings to choose from. two of them looked like normal basketballs. one was painted purple and gold like the lakers and one of them looked like it had been splashed around in standing water for a week. since i knew the gangmembers would probably try to challenge me to some one-on-one and the loser had to give up his ball, i chose the old-lookin one.

because someone was going to be shot

and i didnt want the blood to stand out on my new basketball.

benshlomo + ashley went to hawaii + danielle has the worst luck with dudes