fuck lent. fuck fucking lent. wanna give something up for lent – give lent up for lent. better yet, give up catholicism forever.

lent isnt in the bible. lent isnt even close to being in the bible. sure there were things that happened for 40 days but those werent 40 literal days those were symbolic.

wannd do something from now until Easter? read the bible. do us all a favor. know what the hell youre doing when you follow bizarre church rituals that have nothing to do with scripture or Jesus’s teachings, or reality, or real faith.

wanna give up something for 40 days? give up being a sheep. give up ritual for ritual sake. give up ignorance. give up bogusness.

the church wants us to give up things because the church wants us to get used to having us listen to them and obey them. meanwhile Jesus said that the ONLY way to the Father is through him. so fuck the fucking pope and his minions who tell you to give shit up even though its not in the good book.

you think they’re not skiing down ice cream mountains and having blowjob competitions in Heaven right now during Lent? would that be Paradise to you?

if you want to give up chocolate or cocaine or pigging out once a week, how about giving it up forever. meanwhile if you feel guilty that you love chocolate or cocaine or all you can eat buffets, quit feeling guilty. if youre not hurting anyone go for it.

this period of time leading up to the celebration of Easter isnt a time for the devil to torture you by convincing you that the things you like should be taken away from you for a month and a half. it should be a time to reflect on the sacrafices that Jesus made so that we could have eternal life. so that we’d have a treasure in Heaven. so we could party.

how on Earth does giving up something for 40 days equate to having a treasure in Heaven? so you can feel what Jesus felt when He suffered for our sins? who the fuck are you to think you know what its like to pay for ALL the sins of mankind? and by not eating mcdonalds for a month and a half you think that gives you a taste of the Messiah’s sufferings? heathen, please.

let me tell you a thing or two about the Lord Jesus Christ when He was on the cross on Good Friday. bro was God and yet He looked up and said to the sky “Why hast Thou forsaken me?” meaning for a split second Jesus was so low that even He lost faith in God, and therefore Himself.

no lack of m&ms for five weeks is going to do that to you. your wrists are being nailed to the cross. your feet dont have a spike through them. youre not wearing a crown of thorns with people staring at you and heckling you as your mother weeps below you and soldiers jab you with swords and feed you vinegar to drink as you are dying in the sun.

lent needs to be shoved up the ass of the church for its a mockery of real suffering. oh im not going to go to taco bell for a month, im a good catholic. oh im not going to watch anal porn for a month, im going to Heaven. oh im not going to eat beef on Friday im better than you. suck it fakers and read the Bible.

but if you really feel the need to give something up, give shit up thats truly toxic. thats truly evil in your life. thats honestly keeping you down. people give up foods that they like or blogs that they read or activities that they love but the good book says its not what goes into your mouth thats rotten its what comes out, and bullshitting people is what needs to stop in this world. talking about shit that has no basis. lent has zero basis in real Christianity. its not in the bible, its not a commandment, its not even a suggestion by Jesus. the namesake of your religion. the man on your crucifix.

quit propigating the lies and fallen ways of old men long since gone whose names werent emmanuelle. and please God if youre going to follow those false traditions do us all a favor and quit calling yourselves Christians because Christ isnt your leader, Popes are. youre Papists, and the most significant thing that the Popes have done over the last 50 years is allow their priests to literally fuck little boys,

meaning if you want to give up something toxic this lent season, give up supporting child molesting organizations whose roots and ways are far from biblical, whose rules are made up, whose policies are sexist and perverted, and whose leaders give shelter to the most vile criminals to walk the earth.

the lie of lent is just another in the long and bizarre parade of neverending bastardizations of the most-read book in the world by the Catholic church. if youre going to turn your back on something for forty days, may i suggest turning your back on the Vatican and all the perverted demons who eminate from there.

theres a reason they used to preach mass in latin with their back turned to their audience. its because they knew if the clergy actually read the entire bible theyd know that the church theyre in is full of shit. give up being full of shit for lent.

guess who thought she could just call me up this afternoon while i was at work and be all sweet to me and think she could get some. guess who got the cold shoulder. guess who has a cold shoulder. guess who thinks shes all that but isnt all that. guess whose secretly all that but i dont want to puff up her ego.

guess who’s not over my house right now. guess whos pouting at the standard sunset right now. guess who isnt doing a boybander and hasnt for a while. guess whos about to be on her period and is horny as hell. guess who called me ten times after i told her never to call me again. guess who was so desperate she left a message that said lets watch lost like in olden times. guess who has never watched lost with me and was clearly confusing me with another.

so guess who just got caught as a cheater.

guess whos looking too skinny. guess who probably is too skinny. guess whos skinny cuz her pretty boy secretly likes prettier boys. guess whos back and slim and shady. guess who doesnt give a fuck because angels fall like rain. guess who just called again.

guess who thinks that hollywood is an open phonebook. guess who thinks shes queen of the sunset strip and guess whos crying now like journey. guess who gonna buy two packs of camel lights and a bottle of some bullshit expensive trendy ass flavored vodka from pink dot. guess whos probably sorry that she ripped up my lust letters and mailed them back to me. guess whos a gemini and changes her mind like twenty times a day and has apologized for ripping them up and never got forgiven because shes not a good girl.

guess whos hot as fuck when shes being a good girl. guess whos not getting fucked when shes a bad girl. guess who learned a new word in english that rhymes with runthole.

guess who knows where i live and still has a key and will probably kill me in my sleep. guess who has already died a thousand deaths and couldnt care less about one more. guess whos indestructable. guess whos snot. guess who has a guess poster of guess who not you on their wall. guess whos posters get ripped from the walls from flailing chicks and guess whos nothing more than a whiny bitch.

guess whos flipping through her pink blackberry, guess whos never heard of mayberry, guess who was warned oh i dont know a gazillion times that black men arent to be fucked with that we do the fucking that no matter how fucking hot you fucking are we know that in the city of angels there are four million fucking people who are worth fucking and fucking half of them are fucking women and fucking half of those are fucking single and half of those are fucking willing and half of those are fucking hot which means theres two hundred and fifty thousand fucking better reasons not to put up with your bullshit

again

especially after talking with a good girl who said tony you can do anything you want i will dress any way you want then i will cook for you then i will let you drive me around my town and i will point at things and tell you stories and then i will show you the home of a young lady ive always wanted to make out with but not by myself but in a threesome and i said sir youre punking me and she said im not a sir, call me, and guess who called her and guess who had a feminine voice and guess who got hung up on in ten seconds because

guess why

because earlier she said but before you ask me to do anything tony i want to pick you up at the airport and i dont want to say anything and i dont want you to say anything i just want to smile and kiss you like weve known each other forever and right there at the airport with all the others i want to like really kiss you and not stop until i can start to feel you next to me if you know what i mean

and guess who knew what she meant and guess whos gonna get anything she wants and guess whos snot.

splinky + riley dog + sutter + case

march 1, 2004

talk to me. tell me your name. i just watched american idol. i wish i was a neilson family. i watched the first two american idol episodes and none after that and today they had the “untalented” show and it was awesome.

i saw my man william hung today and i was cheering along. if he sang at the end of every show id watch it every week.

people seriously need to hire me to tell them these things.

now im watching forever eden which sorta looks like paradise hotel which i loved. we really should thank the japanese for giving us these bizzare reality shows.

thank you japanese people.

ive noticed that im nicer after watching that jesus movie.

i talked on the phone to the 90 year old lady upstairs.

i did pass a legless man in a wheelchair who had fallen asleep in the rain in his chair out on the sidewalk.

didnt really know how to feel about that.

it was in front of a huge church that people dont think is a church but i dont think they pay taxes, so i’ll call them a church. and they have people walking around that church all the time. churchmembers. but it is a pretty busy sidewalk but surely theyd roll the man inside.

it was odd.

theres hospitals all around that church but still.

hollywood has its darkside my friends.

its not all bikini girls palmtrees and coke parties.

sometimes it rains

and youre legless

and youve fallen asleep.

it was dark out there. it coulda been anything. man. woman. other.

im not proud. and that jesus movie did make me feel bad at least, i guess thats a step in the right direction.

i suppose one day i will stop and help

i think it was a guy.

had a nice black cowboy hat on.

no feet.

little stumps sticking out of the pant legs at the knee.

so dark i nearly bumped into it because i thought it was an abandonded cart of some sort.

but it was a wheelchair with a tall black hook coming out of the top.

as to hold an iv at home?

to hold a hat?

i thought if i was that dude i might just end it all out there on sunset blvd drunk

there was an empty bottle of booze behind him a good twenty paces.

house brand vodka it looked.

same stretch of sunset you see at the end of “adaptation.” when the flowers time lapse

id buy a william hung dvd if he’d autograph it for me.

just a girl + smelly + my sexy wifey moxie

: some people are born leaders and winners, and some people are destined to be followers and losers.

now just because youre a follower doesnt make you a loser, but usually if you dont realize youre a follower you end up a loser.

in the soap opera between Howard Stern and CBS chief Les Moonves, it’s obvious who is the leader and who is the loser.

yesterday CBS chose to give Howard Stern more publicity by suing him for talking about Sirius satelite radio for the last year that he was on terrestrial radio. despite the fact that stern ALWAYS talks about his life, and leaving a hugely successful 20-year run in old fashioned radio and one-upping the FCC by escaping to the safe harbor of pay radio is easy fodder for breast beating and back patting, CBS is now pretending that by Stern talking about his life and career was somehow inappropriate and illegal.

if you listened to Stern over the last year you would have heard the battles that he had with the network about his use of the name Sirius (he later refered to them as “eh eh eh”) you would have seen him get suspended for one day a few weeks before his last day because he allegedly talked about Sirius “too much”, but you would have also seen his ratings go up, his ad dollars go up, and Stern being allowed to go on CBS’s “Late Show with David Letterman” to promote his ascension to satelite.

therefore CBS as a whole benefited greatly during the last year that Stern was on the air, primarily talking about his new home, bitching about the restraints on language that CBS was enforcing on him, and saying “goodbye” to his millions of listeners many of whom would not be paying $150 for a new radio and $13 a month for service.

not only was it compelling radio, it was must-hear radio because even on the last day the power struggle between the real leader and the network was being faught with the GM of the station hitting the dump button repeatedly as Howard and his crew gave their farewell speeches to the madding crowds on the streets of new york who had braved the rain and the cold to wish their gangly radio god goodbye.

now that the king of all media is gone CBS finds themselves in dead last in morning radio in LA and, from first to 13th place in new york. the much loved and talented adam corrolla simply could not make the leap from late night sex talk on kroq to morning man jokester on kslx. and david lee roth proved that the millions that he got to sit in stern’s old studios in new york was money down the drain. nobody talks about anything these two do on the radio, meanwhile people keep talking about stern.

and CBS is now only helping that buzz grow in this ridiculous law suit.

just last week stern was sitting back in his chair saying “isnt this great. we havent bitched about the FCC in a week, we havent bitched about management, we havent bitched about being censored, today we’ve been able to just sit and talk with people in an adult manner like regular people. god i love this.”

well, hes really gotta be loving this new development because yes Howard’s mellow adult Sirius shows last week were interesting, nothing is more intense than when Stern has an enemy locked in and fucking with him. he is the king of all controversy and someone better find out of Les has stock in Sirius because all this can do is make Howard more popular, more of an underdog fighting the Man, and more likely to put another victory notch in his microphone.

hey now.