Monthly Archives: March 2006

Buzznet Red Bull Party in Austin this Friday!!!

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In the last four months we’ve had Buzznet parties aka meetups in LA, SF, NYC, Vancouver, Chicago, Amsterdam and this Friday (3/10) prepare for our best one… AUSTIN TEXAS during SXSW.

Check this setup out… Red Bull has partnered up with Buzznet and they have a 10,000 square foot mansion right near downtown Austin which they are sharing with us.

There will be drinks, there will be killer djs, free wifi, good vibes, and pictures projected from Buzznet all over the walls.

If we could think of a better way to kick off SXSW … we’d be doing it.

Now all we need is you.

The only way in to this Exclusive party is via the guestlist,

so if you’d like your name on the guest list, email tony at buzznet.com or message me through Buzznet, but hurry because there only a limited amount of busblog readers that i can put on the list.

so get on it!

post haste!

which is french for in ten minutes.

this will be the party to start all parties, it will be the one that you’ll be telling your friends about back in des moines. it will be the one that when you’ll have kids you’ll sit em on your lap and say, now lemme tell you a little tale about the time i poplocked against mc brown and the furious five.

Our goal is to peak too early, to raise the dead, to set the bar for this 10 day festival, and mess with Texas in such a way that they say whoa nelly.

But mostly our goal is to live up to the hype.

Buzznet / Red Bull Partaaay
@ the Red Bull House Austin, 8pm, 3/10
400 Nueces St., Austin Texas
Corner of 4th and Nueces

there are angels everywhere so watch out

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cuz they’re coming after you.

and they’re gonna soak you in good vibes and love and pleasant dreams and funny jokes and careful whispers and happinesses and bliss.

they might be named chris or mary or ben or harry. they’re sneaky and fast and if you’re not paying attention they might walk right past you just like the fishies do when you’re snorkeling in hawaii. they’re everywhere, all around you, all around me too.

people say the devil’s in the details, but even the devil was an angel who lost his way, so it’s okay.

this one angel let me kiss her the other day and it was technically just a peck but it was more than enough.

people always forget that sometimes the dumbest things can send you tumbling into a shitty mood, and what they forget is the reverse is also true. a little smile, a tiny note, the way someone says your name can totally make your day.

the angels float around pretending to be working at banks or tucked away in cubicles, but you know the ones im talking about. they’re not that good at hiding out. they’re here on vacation and a hundred years is nothing if you’re in heaven forever and who doesn’t want to spend that long being a johnny appleseed of good deeds in the bossmans favorite galaxy.

bmg just sent me five miles davis cds, norah jones and wilco and all i gotta pay is shipping and handling.

the teenage angels call me and call me and call me and then hush up when i finally answer, shy like they didnt think id ever say hello outside of a chat.

they don’t care what color my skin is or how low my fro is or how many moons ive seen come and go, they know its all about the sunsets anyway.

come out and play they say.

come over and lets let our minds wander.

come over and lez be friends.

i want a slumber party one of them told me today with just you and me and everything i was born with. and that’s not the details talking ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that’s trust, and trust is something from way up high. higher than you think.

and angels love to drink.

two of them came over tonight.

two of them held my hand tight.

two of them told me all the things i needed to hear.

and they answered the door for me while i was in the can and it was the academy with punch drunk love but i was so sleepy from all that drinking and they said take a quick nap and we’ll watch tv.

and they tucked me in all cute, kissed my forehead, and woke me up after about twenty minutes and i was refreshed and we watched it all together and they each said now write, write, tell everyone about us, no one will believe it anyway.

and i said okay.

science blog + undercover in japan + a discovery + zen for lunch

ive enjoyed many loves in my long life

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uganada but ive only had one true love. one soul mate. one grand slam combo sextra syrup.

ive been in love a million times. ive danced with every type of girl at every sort of hoedown.

ive kissed girls prettier than the sunrise over the grand canyon on the fourth of july, and some of them even kissed me back.

ive been with virgins and so-not virgins, ive been with different races and religions and shapes and sizes, rich girls poor girls, girls way taller than me and girls so tiny id have to figure out which lip theyd kiss cuz using both would drown em.

ive had nymphos and prudes, shy girls and bitches.

but only one girl has ever taken my heart and owned it and kept it owning it even when she didnt want it any more.

and that girl went off with fratdudes and whiteboys and malcontents and so-and-sos and i know she did it so id lose interest but i never lost interest. id caller and propose and shed say shut up and id say is he over and shed say hes coming over and id say tell him to look at those huge cans one last time cuz tonybaloney full of macaroni is gonna huff n puff and blow yr door down and shed say good cuz we’re gonna be at his house and my apartment needs some dusting.

and shed tell me she loved me and id say it back and shed say it again and id say it oh thirty more times. and i dont know if theres such a thing as soul mates but if there is shes mine, only problem is im not hers.

thanks to blogging its a problem im easilly distracted from because i get paid attention to by some of the cutest girls on the planet, some of whom say the absolute most perfect things. like i’ll say ok when i meet you will you wear a cheerleader sweater that says tony will you wear your hair in a ponytail and will you let me drive your car to the hotel with my hand on your thigh and they say yes and i say then after will you make me grits and eggs and bacon and apple juice topless and they say yes and i say ok then after that can we do it again and they say yes and i go good then after that can we watch baseball with my hand on your ass and they say sure.

and its nice but its not how you feel when youve known someone for what seems like forever and they know you and by knowing you i mean they know you and they still love you not despite or inspite of who you are but love you.

well my true love has always had a dream to join the peace corps fly to africa and save the world, and youd think volunteering would be a peace of cake but its snot. it was pretty much a year long process that included background checks up the ying yang, personality examinations, psychological examinations, you have to pay off every debt you have, you have to pass a series of physical tests, and then from what i understand there are the trick questions. but living with tony pierce for five years my girl was well prepared for the unexpected and if you ask me thats what sealed the deal.

it was such a long process that on saturday night when she called me i was at pretty girl’s house and we were talking about penises with two homosexual gentlemen in such a fascinating conversation that at first i was upset with the interruption of my silly ring tone, but when i saw it was her i excused myself and took the call.

i think this is it, baby, she told me.

she was in massachussets. home of the peace corps. the vision of the kennedy family who were celebrating the 45th anniversary of the institution. she told me how there had been a big dinner the night before and they had introduced everyone and there was great applause and speeches and stories and well wishes and even some tears.

she told me that it was midnight over there and she had to go to sleep because early in the morning the plane would be taking her to africa where she would be working for the next two and a half years.

an emotional girl but always in a sweet way i could hear her start to cry as she told me that she loved me and that nearly got me but as a man ive learned how to fight it. so i faught it and told her that she can run from me but ive always wanted to see the motherland and all shes gonna do when she goes there is see dark skinned tony pierces and shes gonna think about me constantly and i told her that at night if she thought of me when she touched herself that it was ok and she laughed and told me to shut up and i asked her if there would be giraffes there and she said yes and i said if one dies will you make me a nice little giraffe cap for my bald head and she said gross and i said do they have lions there and she said yes

and i said youve gotta stay away from the skinny lions because theyre hungry but the fat lions you can basically pluck their shorthairs and she said how would you know any of that and i said its in my dna i know everything about africa and i do for example i know its big.

my truest doesnt like to be called my truest on here but shes in africa now and cant read this so good. shes right next to the equator in a country called uganda which has an unpenetral forrest which on our last phone call the other day i told her i was gonna penetrate when i visit her and i said in that forrest im going to find a diamond ring and im gonna put it on her finger and get a witch doctor to wed us and we’ll dance around a fire and party so loud that king kong is gonna ask us nicely to shut the fuck up. and nicely she asked me to shut the fuck up.

and there was a little bit of quiet.

and then she said im gonna miss you tony.

and then we both sobbed a tiny bit,

less than i am now.

me chris and jeanine go to an art opening + at warsawa + in cancun + in europe

to me the highlight of last nights oscars

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was the performance and award to the Three 6 Mafia.

and then their speech.

and then jon stewart laughing at/with them.

ive been so busy today i have no idea what the rest of the blogosphere and msm thought of it, but i liked it. i just wish that the first hip hop group didnt have to rap about pimpz n hos, because thats pretty much the only way that Blacks get their first shot in entertainment, and youd think in 2006 we’d be off that shit, but guess snot.

george clooneys speech was also super great. does the dude ever get uptight?

lily tomlin and meryl streep were interesting, and dolly singing always makes me happy.

most people dont know that i weep up at award shows. when the dude won for Capote and spent most of the time talking about his mom i was dying. when reese witherspoon was talking about her grandma i was choking up.

of course the oscars cant get everything right, the closeups were unnecessary and uncomfortable. the music playing while people were talking was retarded. the 45 seconds that people got to thank others is always irritating. this is the biggest moment of these peoples lives, give em a few minutes to actually get their damn trophy, let the telecast run 5 hours, who cares. all youre gonna do is go to the news which will omg talk about the awards. so show the awards.

heres what you dont need to show – the president of the oscars. they did the right thing by showing the camera shot over his shoulder of everyone falling asleep. fuck the president of the oscars. the president of the oscars needs to get announced, he needs to step to the mic and he needs to say, and now the thre 6 mafia crew.

jack nicholson was the best. he barely had any lines but he got laughs for all of them. how badass are you that when you say and the nominees are… you get a laugh?

not sure if youve seen the close to 100 oscar pictures on buzznet, but salman rushdie’s wife is such a piece of ass. if i had a kid right now i would say you can learn how to play that stupid guitar i got you when you were 10 or you could learn to write, but the competition for hot chicks in the rock world is intense cuz you gotta compete with every lead singer and all the guitar players, but if salman rushdie, whose no george clooney can get that chick then theres something to be said for writing a few hot books, boy.

nicole kidman is still on fire.

keira knightley is annoying in interviews but when she keeps her mouth shut, damn shes hot.

is that wrong to say?

and jessica alba. shit. anything you want baby is yours.

before the awards i watched joan and melissa on tv guide channel and i also watched ryan seacrest on e!

joan kills every time. people talk shit, but you know what, those are the same people who then go and hire ryan fucking seacrest for $10 million.

joan was racist, sexist, agist … and she had a sign that she held up after talking to a woman denoting whether or not she had fake tits or real ones.

199 years old and she still owns the red carpet. if i was a star all id do if i was at the oscars is turn joan around and kiss her ass right there on camera. her dress was incredibly horrible, but shes funny as hell. she even made her daughter do a skit with her where they pretended to be the brokeback fellas. bizarre and funny. i love her.

tv guide channel bleeped her a dozen times in the first hour. but instead of a bleep they just dropped out her sound. but because they were so bad at it they always missed it by a beat so the “offensive” content always slipped in and the following word got chopped. morons. actually it made you feel special for hearing something that the suits didnt want you to hear.

ryan seacrest and the e coverage was horrible. theyve gone from joan and mellisa, to kathy griffin who was awesome, to isaac mirahi who was feeling chicks up at the globes, to yesterday, which was ridiculous.

eric bana approached isaac and isaac was all, and here we have eric bana and his beautiful wife. and eric said, “staying out of trouble today?” and isaac blew it off and asked him some bullshit. and eric said it again, “staying out of trouble today?” and AGAIN isaac ignored him. it was all wtf fool, you have to think on your feet when youre on live tv on the red carpet. no jackhole like eric bana should be able to throw you on something you should have a witty comeback for.

shit, feel him up if youve gotta, but this is hollywood motherfucker entertain our asses or get the fuck out.

seacrest was on the air for four hours and you know, i cant remember one word he said.

being gay in hollywood sure pays.

video of the three 6 mafia winning their oscar + three 6 mafia performing + william hurt’s daughter is hot

im waiting to see when the kids in NY

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are gonna do this

Four Jobs I’ve Had in my Life in LA:
— Grill Cook, McDonald’s (Santa Monica – 2412 Santa Monica Blvd.)
— Associate, Licorice Pizza Records (West LA – 11876 Wilshire Blvd)
— Audio/Video Salesperson, Federated Group (West LA – 11820 Olympic Blvd)
— Manager of Worldwide Recruiting, PeopleSupport (Westwood Blvd.)

Four Movies About LA I Could Watch Over and Over:
— The Bad News Bears
— Fast Times at Ridgemont High
— Valley Girl
— Pulp Fiction
— The Player

Four Places I’ve Lived All Over L.A. (With Food Memories From Each):
— Venice Beach (Boardwalk Hot Dogs, $1 slices of pizza).
— West LA (Delores Restaurant breakfasts, China Wok).
— Westwood (Fatburger, All American Burger).
— Hollywood (Palms Thai, Zancau Chicken, House of Pies, Canters).

Four LA-Themed Shows I Love(d) to Watch:
— The Brady Bunch
— Sanford and Son
— CHIPS
— The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson (the reason I moved here)

Four LA-Based Websites I Visit Daily:
— flagrant disregard
— matt welch
— xTx
— blogging.la
— laist

Four of my Favorite Foods Found in LA:
— Soul Food of South Central (Stevie’s on the Strip, Mr Jim’s you need no teeth to eat Mr. Jim’s beef r.i.p, M&M’s)
— Midnight Tacos (Santa Monica and Vermont)
— The Original Pantry
— Dodger Dogs

Four Places in LA I Would Rather Be Right Now:
— in bed with anna kournikova
— in an alley with clipper girl
— on the floor with clipper girl’s cousin
— skateboarding at venice beach

Tagged:
— xTx
— flagrant
— heather the rabbit
— mc brown

not that im any freakin expert

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but im going to try on fridays to post some tips on blogging and writing and stuff that will help your blog get better.

todays topic is writers block and how to defeat it.

people sometimes talk about writers block. i had a teacher who said that writers block is a way of the universe and nature to tell you to read a book instead. i never liked that teacher and he never liked me, so we’re even. however he does have my dream job of being a professor at a cool university on the beach surrounded by hot young women and im sitting here … not being that.

anyways i dont believe in writers block and in four and a half years of writing this blog ive never had it, so clearly it doesnt believe in me neither.

to me writers block happens when you are afraid to say the things that you want to say. it happens when you self edit yourself before you start writing or while you are writing. it happens when youre trying to be a perfectionist. when youre trying to write to one hard-to-reach person instead of to a willing and wide audience. and it happens when youre confused as to who your audience is.

to me writers block is the devil whispering “you suck, this sucks, you cant write, nobody cares, so and so has said this before and better, bloggings dumb, your blogs dumb, youre dumb,” and you listen to those whispers as opposed to the siren song of your muse.

i have a harem of muses, and another one on the side just in case. that doesnt mean that the devil still doesnt have season tickets right in the front row. fucker. it just means that over the years ive learned how to write in such a way that i can turn his volume down.

one of the best ways to confound the devil is to acknowledge him right away and move on while he’s basking in the attention. look at my first line of this post. thats me shaking off the hisses of the devil as i step into the batters box. i knew i was going to write a post giving advice and the first thing the devil said was who the fuck are you to give advice. so i acknowledged him and moved on.

now the devils not gonna shut up just because you winked at him before you tapped home plate, so you have to confuse him some more. one way to do that is write so fast that he doesnt have any time to sink his teeth into what youre saying. thus the 15 minutes with Tony excercise was born.

if you write fast the devil can still call bullshit fast but sometimes your brain and your fingers and your thoughts can take the lead and the devil cant catch up. some jockies do this with horses during long races. they know their horse isnt as good as the others so they get them off to a long lead and see if the horse can hold the lead.

run fast out of the gates my friends and dont look back.

and while youre there, write from your heart. the devil is not in your heart. the devil is in your head. the heart is where good things live and bad things cant thrive. tell the truth as you know it. write plainly. keep it simple. speak from your own experience. dont get caught up in length or style or what other people are doing.

get caught up in your own tale and watch it blossom.

finally, write every day in every circumstance and at every time of day. eventually you will form a belief about what the best time of day is for you to be creative. when youve convinced yourself of this, make sure to write during that part of the day. my belief is im best in the morning. thats why im writing this now. in fact every morning i write something.

it doesnt matter what it is that you write, just write every day. and when youre done send some shout outs to your peeps, right click > select all > right click > copy and then Publish Post.

then look at it on your page and tell the devil that he still aint shit.

the best way to defeat writers block is to write and never stop.

hey im famous!

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before i flew off to amsterdam the austin chronicle asked me to write a few words about attending the SXSW interactive annual week-of-fun. because i was so fixated on going to holland and kissing my best friend goodbye who was moving to africa for two and a half years i totally forgot what i had written.

well tonight Hugh Forrest, the man in charge, who has now invited me two years in a row to speak there emailed me at midnight my time which is i think 2am texas time to let me know that my thing was in the paper.

so thanks Hugh for letting me know.

heres some of what i wrote you can read the rest here

for some reason they edited out the part where i said that i liked that a lot of the people look like they play in Pavement. i thought it was funny

voici:

Austin Chronicle
March 3, 2006

The Summit

We asked some of the loudest, clearest, and leading voices in cyberspace why they’re coming to SXSW Interactive, what they bring to the proceedings, and who they want to encounter. Here are their responses.

Tony Pierce, tonypierce.com

I’ll be going to SXSW Interactive for three reasons. The first is because I’m speaking on two panels. You have no idea how flattering it is for me to be asked to speak on any panels, let alone two.

One of the panels is one that I was on last year: “Blogging While Black,” which got a really good turnout. I can’t wait to meet up with all of the panelists again because they’re all super-cool people from very different backgrounds, and, together on one stage, we’re pretty much nothing like what people probably expect.

Another reason I’m going is to speak on a panel about creativity and finding one’s voice, and I’m very nervous about that one, because hell if I know how to explain my creative process or finding my voice. I have a feeling my voice found me, or, probably more accurately, settled on me after striking out with cooler people.

I’m also going to SXSW because I’m a big giant nerd and a fanboy of so many of the other bloggers and innovators who will be there. Last year, I felt like a kid at an all-star weekend. I wanted everyone’s autograph and, this year, I’m actually going to get them.

A long time ago, I realized that I had all of these baseballs signed by people whom I didn’t really know, so why not get autographs of my friends and lovers? Then, I figured, why stop at that? Why not get autographs of people I really appreciated? So, this year, I’ll hopefully have my baseballs signed by people like Ev Williams, Doc Searls, Craig Newmark, Jason Kottke, Heather Armstrong, and Nick Denton.

Last year, I got to meet Ana Marie Cox, and I pretty much died. Not only was she super hot, but also really really nice and laid-back – but shorter than I thought she’d be … exactly like how movie stars are. I got to buy her a beer and watch her be surrounded by tons of other dudes like me who just smiled like goofballs and said, “Uh, yer purty.”

I also got to have lunch with Jason Goldberg, Eric Case, and Biz Stone from the Blogger/Google team. I had e-mailed them and talked to them on the phone over the years, but to actually sit down and thank them for all their work on Blogger and pick their brains and have them ask me questions was one of the best lunches I ever had, and I didn’t have to pay for my burger!

top picture of mc brown + because my girl cathy at city rag said i should have more pics of dudes + photo credit the incredible azalea