the first is ms danielle d’smelly (pictured, above left, with lowercase carmen). soon to be mrs. chad goomar.

smelly and the busblog go way back. at least three years ago to 2005 when she asked me a question during one of the Ask Tony deals. actually it was so long ago that im not even sure we were officially calling it that back then.

anyways smelly has always been one of my favorite bloggers because she really gets down to blogging all the time, about whatever, includes lots of pics, shows us what its like for a twentysomething to live with her parents, while going to school, while working hard, while watching puck, while waltzing around vancity, while pouring wine for old italians in church, while doing her damn thing, and now while she prepares to get hitched to an old man in a condo.

i first met danielle at a matt good show in bc and she was far prettier in real life than in her pics. she was also way more into matt than i ever expected and somehow i got my hands on an extra backstage pass and i was able to give it to her and we went up into his dressing room and partied with him and all was good in the hood.

i have nothing but high hopes for the chadwick/smelly union and im sure they will produce a litter of it-als that all of canada can be proud of.

the other birthday girl today is ms mae ko of detroit michigan.

i met our lovely lass two years ago when i traveled around america and canada in my little blue hoopty. and like pretty much everyone i met, she was a gazillion times hotter in her pics than in real life. which was devistating.

maeko also made her first appearance on the busblog in 2005 when i used this picture of her dancing in her room after i emailed her saying hi.

back in the day i had that sort of effect on the ladies.

no more, sadly.

sigh.

more tragedy, fellas, she is happily settled down a man who must be something special because he got her to move from san diego to the motor city and stay there. for years.

over the years she has tried to set me up with one of her hot asian supermodel friends after another but none of them compares 2 her, even though they try, oh do they try.

back when i ran LAist, maeko covered project runway for us and proved that one didnt have to live in LA to be a part of our fine city-based blog.

meeting her in detroit was a joy. we ate at this fancy restaurant, she was hilarious, but she had to run back to work superfast because she worked for a demonboss who is no longer in her life.

her blog is always stylishly designed and the insights are sweet. she rules.

happy birthday to both of todays lovely ladies. tauruses forever.

top photo by moi, pic of maeko via maeko.org

said she couldnt sleep cuz she was so upset about Eight Belles
the second place finisher of the Kentucky Derby who broke her front legs
minutes after the race and had to be killed on the spot
i didnt want the cougar to come over,
but i did want pie.
so i said what sorta pie are we gonna eat.
she said four and twenty blackbirds, got milk?

and i thought, see, thats almost exactly why i dont want you coming over
either what you have to say is super corny, or not at all sexy,
or just gross. the girls not supposed to be gross, the boy is.

her hair was frosted, her nails did, heels that clacked around my hard wood
sounds these walls hardly ever heard. smells. creeks.

legend has it that someone got murdered in this hollywood apartment
i tolder. meth heads or wiccians
or worse.
she said how do you know this.
i said the old lady who rented me this place a long time ago
esped it to me.
i had no job, i had bad credit, i had no money.
still she rented it to me because she liked my eyes, she said.

so me and the cougar in the middle of the night sat across from each other
ate the four and twenty blackbirds and drank wine.
everything was disgusting.
but i tried out of respect for Eight Belles, who was younger than the wine.

cougar tried to do stuff to me but i squirmed around half cuz i didnt wanna
half cuz only a few people really know how sensitive i am
and half cuz i couldnt stop thinking how she still hadnt been tested yet.

cougars got esp too and said why is getting tested so important to you
i said whys not getting tested so important to you?

so we slept all tangled and i dreamed.
i fucking hate dreams more than blackbird pie.
dreams are lies whispered to you at your most vulnerable.

i dreamed i was eating pie with Eight Belles.
and drinking tea. cougar tea.
and Eight Belles was saying, you know Peta wants that jockey to be suspended.
and i dont blame em.
i said but didnt you wanna run?
the philly said yea, fuck i WAS running.
i said then whattya bitchin about?
EB was all tony you know how some women dont like their hair pulled
and some women cant have it pulled enough?
horses are the same way.
everyone is so unique.
just cuz we might look similar.
just cuz we might even smell the same.
when it comes to something as serious as the kentucky derby
or as subtle as a sexual relationship
it wouldnt hurt if you did just the slightest bit of research
to find out what makes us babes different from each other.

and then she put down her tea
grew an alicorn out of her forehead
and flew off down sunset.

“>

that says, here lies tony, he added to life.

and here he is in death adding to calories and cavities.

i love coke so much that not only will i show you this beautiful commercial for my favorite soft drink, but a link to the 3:30 minute version of it, and the thread in Digg.

/burp

mostly because he kept it real and never sold out. also because he wasnt the most attractive man and he seemed to be able to pull the ladies no matter how fat and obnoxious he was nor how hideous he appeared. nor how poor he was.

and he did most of it through poetry.

in many ways i have found myself attracted to the underdog. probably because i see myself as that. im also gen x. im also black. im also a cub fan. therefore keeping it real is a constant thread.

with that said, i gotta say, i sorta love this pic of me in a dress shirt in a sushi joint on the wesssside with suzie and karisa.

fuck.

photo via suzie who has a pretty sweet photo essay about her adventure to LA on her blawwwg

if you were ever unsure whether or not the LA Times is changing, and changing for the better in regards to embracing the web, look no further than a new feature we launched today called ICU.

on the 2nd floor of our building theyve been remodeling an area to house a half dozen video editing bays and even more offices for video journalists. one of them, katy newton, created a feature where she would contact a few people who submitted a Missed Connection ad in Craigslist. she video interviews them so we can see some of the people behind the ads.

one cool thing about just the first few vids katy made – you Want to see the people behind the ads! as the project continues we will see if the videos help the connections get matched up.

at the same time, katys husband, sean, has created a killer interactive map of LA that shows you where the single men and women are.

watch as this series expands and gets even better. for it will!

but you dont have the secret password?

like, say, the Beck + Spoon + MGMT show at the Hollywood Bowl this Sept?

… well theres a new site (to me, at least) called Pre Sale Central that will give you the passwords you need so badly

you can thank me later — in the PIT!

– monster squad better get it together cuz fil took some pics of a band thats already stealing Wolfie’s look

– did you know ken layne is writing for AOL? i didnt.

– did you know that Mass Live gave me props for my Prince coverage at Coachella? thanks kristen!

– people always ask me what they should do while in Orange County. usually i say drown yourself. now i can say, go on a Fish Taco Crawl, then drown yrself.

– things you will only find in a Floridian legislation session roundup. apparently the term is over over there and this is where some things stand via Tampa Bay Online:

Also Of Interest

Bestiality: Still legal in Florida

State Song: “Old Folks at Home,” also known as “Swanee River,” will be changed to leave out racially offensive lyrics. A second song, “Florida – Where the Sawgrass Meets the Sky,” submitted by a music teacher for a statewide contest, will become the state anthem.

Vehicle, um, decorations: Carry on with the popular pickup accoutrement: so-called Truck Nutz. The anatomically correct accessories, modeled after bull testicles, were outlawed by the Senate but had immunity in the House, so no $60 fine after all.

– who knew No Age had such a great blog?

– the grates are almost done recording. for some reason that makes me sad. i loved their blog while they were in the studio.

– mentos + diet coke + super slow motion + 2001 music = nerd porn

– myspace founder’s hollywood hills home robbed. maybe he should let some of his “friends” keep an eye on the place next time?

last monday morning suzie and i were dancing to the impromptu tunes of Wallpaper, whose album T-Rex totally fooled me when i first got it, cuz i thought it was a T-Rex greatest hits. little did i know that they would provide a very cool post-coachella dance party in the parking lot.

yesterday i had the weirdest day. got a phone call from a woman. a real woman, not any of these “girls” that usually pop in and out of my life. apparently she was curious whether i really felt the way i did about suzie. i was all, baby, i dont know how i really feel about suzie. shes just rad and we had a special energy flowing between us that made me feel happy.

the woman was all, how do you know it was special.

i said, some babes make me feel nervous, and thats sorta exciting. some make me feel powerful and thats nice. some make me feel smart or dumb or ugly or handsome. suzie made me feel loving. and i dont know why. and it was interesting to explore that.

so the woman invited me over. she wanted to cook me dinner. i didnt want any dinner. especially at her house. a real house. some people go through life and think that if they look a certain way after a while or have achieved a certain amount of things or have established themselves then theyve got the perfect man trap. maybe it is the perfect man trap for some men, but im a weirdo, i respond way better to bizarre energies.

she said, how about i make you something and come over to your house.

i said, as long as you dont judge my apartment and offer to clean it or bitch about not having any wash cloths or vegetables in the fridge or

and she said dont worry, you’ll like what im bringing over.

food was good, her outfit was good, but her energy was not so good. she had an agenda. she wanted something from me. who knows what. who knows if i even had what she wanted. all i wanted was to try to watch the cubs game on espn. then i wanted to watch the sharks game on Versus.

she was all, how can you be mr electronics and not know where Versus is on your cable? i was like, first off just cuz you have some decent av equipment doesnt mean you know where every channel is on the SATELITE system. fuck cable. plus you insulting me isnt hot and if you think im gonna do stuff to you off that youre high.

she was high, which was also annoying. everything about her was annoying. i know whaaaa hot babe comes over with food and a bottle of wine and its not good enough. but you know what, sometimes its not. sometimes a man just wants to be alone with his playoff triple overtime hockey and his memories of coachella and doesnt need some desperate quasicougar sniffing around cuz she wants to see ironman but will settle for oh i dont know Anything.

one thing i do know. no matter how many glasses of wine she dumped down my throat, she would never look like either of these babes dancing in the parking lot. and all i can say is i guess i know what i want and what i want doesnt treat me like their son.

with the best press conference ever

“say hello to your mother” should be on the tshirt, if you ask me.

my only problem is, id love to go to the phoenix show that kicks off the tour except its on a tuesday and im going to be taking a few days off (if its approved by my boss) in early june.

and it appears that there are very few weekend shows on the tour, meaning a man cant even fly out to a show unless he wants to go to houston.

and no one wants to fly to houston.

first leg of the tour via stereogum (who oddly has no mention of their parent company buzznet anywhere on their site):

06/17 – Phoenix, AZ @ Orpheum
06/18 – Phoenix, AZ @ Orpheum
06/20 – El Paso, TX @ Plaza
06/22 – Houston, TX @ Jones Hall
06/23 – Dallas, TX @ Palladium
06/25 – Tulsa, OK @ Brady Theatre
06/26 – St. Louis, MO @ Fox Theatre
06/28 – Columbus, OH @ Ohio Theatre
06/29 – Knoxville, TN @ Civic Theatre
07/01 – Jacksonville, FL @ Moran Theatre
07/02 – Mobile, AL @ Saenger Theatre
07/03 – Birmingham, AL @ Alabama Theatre
07/05 – Atlanta, GA @ Fox Theatre