i hope i get to keep my job forever and ever and ever

but if i ever have to get a new gig, i hope i get to have joey maloney by my side. in fact, who wouldnt want to go to concert after concert, party after party, interview after interview, and get to talk to the rockers, actors, losers, theives, models, fakers, fuckups and stars and have joey document it all through his magical lens

seven days ago today i was at coachella with rockstars, heroes of the internet, award winning journalists, and a bikini girl named suzie. we stayed in a million dollar house that had a gormet kitchen and a pool and a hot tub and a three mile commute to the rock show.

it was such a great party house that when roger waters’ pig flew past it, it turned around after a while and flew back in order to party with us.

ive met a lot of great photographers. several of whom are my friends and whose skillz helped LAist soar to the next level. but theres something about joeys photographic style that makes me wish that he was there next to me at every cool scene because half the time i dont believe what im seeing myself.

the last day of coachella, after waters pretty much brought the house down, me and suzie tried to avoid the mass exodus by leaving a tad early during the encore. but something very cool went down. two kids started rocking in the parking lot.

they had a drum set, a mic, and a hatchback that provided their music. i held suzies purse as she danced, and i danced my little weird dance. it was so spontaneous and joyful. one last chance to get that energy of three days of rock out of us. a cleansing of the palette.

the kids were named Wallpaper, joey was there, and thats me in the background.

to see all of joeys pics from coachella, click here here and here.

photos by Joey Maloney, used with permission

impromptu interview with a lovely canadian

who is still single

Keira-Anne: i got a new swimsuit.
so i whored it off

me: i just saw.
youre a beautiful whore

Keira-Anne: oh thanks

me: your word, not mine

Keira-Anne: i know…i was just saying thanks [smile]
so going retro this summer

me: it works on you

Keira-Anne: thanks

me: im about to give you love on the busblog

Keira-Anne: oh are you?

me: ahahaha

Keira-Anne: p.s. i really hope you come back to vancouver with duane. like, really

me: i made a rule on my last trip that i will only go places where i have a date waiting for me.

Keira-Anne: that’s an extremely gay rule. as IF you couldn’t get laid up here

me: i really wanna have a date with foxxy, but she doesnt write me as much as she used to

Keira-Anne: no? [frown]
not at all?

me: sometimes. via facebook, but i guess im not on msn very much, and all you canadians use that

Keira-Anne: yah we totally do

me: tell me where you got this outfit

Keira-Anne: it’s a swimsuit
by jantzen
their new retro swim collection for ’08
i saw it in vogue and died

me: explain why you would do a shoot like that with the mirror
as opposed via a willing photographer

Keira-Anne: do you know of a willing photographer?
i think there’s a little bit of intrigue to it too – wouldn’t a guy wonder what happens when i shut the camera off?

me: oh yeah.

Keira-Anne is busy. You may be interrupting.

the kids have questions, the old man has answers.

voila–

Kevin Dugan: Do your LA Times blogs have story generation sessions? How do these blogs comes up with story ideas? How should I brainstorm for my own humble blog without forcing it?

Most of the blogs dont have those sort of sessions, but some do depending on the assignment. When Soundboard was preparing their coverage for Coachella, for example, there were several meetings on who would cover which acts and who would cover which elements of the deal. Most blogs come up with their story ideas based on either current news, trends that they notice, or sometimes something that a reader wrote in the comments.

How should you brainstorm for story ideas on your own blog? Write about the thing that scares you the most. Write about the topics that push your buttons. Reveal things about yourself. Get out of your comfort zone. And for God sake dont worry about forcing it. FORCE!

Suzie: what was your favourite part of coachella ???

Watching you be extremely drunk backstage of Coachella posing with David Hasslehoff and not even knowing who he was.

raymi: why do you dress like a tool? hahahha

because i like to know that the girls who get naked for me are doing it for me and not my clothes, car, or enormous tony

Dan: Toronto in May? or Vancouver in June? or neither?

probably neither. which breaks my heart. i love MG and i wanna hear that music live again, and of course i love all the canadians and wanna see you all again, but im so busy its retarded.

Kate in BC: What is the most romantic small act someone did for you?

me and ashley were fighting around halloween. i broke up with her. she broke into my house and left a trail of candy from my door to my bedroom. there were candles in my bedroom and she was napping in a plaid skirt and a short shirt. she might have even had stockings on. the note at the begining of the trail said something like, “the person who left this treat is so sorry for what she did…” or something. anyways it sorta worked. or at least i forgave her for that night.

Krista: Movies you are GOING to see this summer!

Speed Racer!

Bob D: Soriano…1st? 5th? or 7th?

Am I crazy that I like to have my lead off hitter knock out a home run every once in a while?

timmay: celtics-lakers finals?

hell to the yeah, except i bet you that the Celtics win that series. im not yet sold the the Lakers can go all the way without Bynum.

Blank.Fm: Do you ever find a place or activity in your life for ambient music?

when im getting massages. when im getting a lap dance in the future. when im making out with a very young woman in her apartment so i can get over the fact that Suzie has left america and probably wont come back any time soon.

Tommy Tumult: Are you still learning how to play guitar?

i am not. im a huge quitter in regards to guitar playing. my SG copy fell on its face the other day and i didnt even pick it up off the floor for a good 2 hours. i suck.

Chris Carnaghi: What is going on with Tsar? Need a new disc.

Two members of Tsar are working on a special project that all Tsar fans will probably adore. So stay tuned!

color me depressed

a canadian angel is now back to where she belongs. back to the igloos and eskimos. back to the land of poutine and waterfalls.

back away from me.

miss suzie reynolds flew in a week ago and flew out this morning. when i first met her i was all wow. when we hung out over new years i told her i loved her. after we drove through the desert i started to believe it.

i meet a lot of people. rarely do i connect as quickly as i did with her. rarely when they leave am i sad and glum like i am now. rarely do i not wanna go back home.

suzie hates lots of the things that i love. lots of the things im all aboooot. lots of the things that are in my heart but i didnt care. i still dont care.

this morning we were tangled up and she was discombobulated and she took her elbow and slammed it behind her into my eye. i kissed her elbow, popped my eyeball back into the socket and went back to spooning and snoring. an hour later she punched me in the jaw, rattling a few teeth. beyonce sang about being dangerously in love, i wonder if jay-z wears a helmet to bed.

the crazy thing is, the more i got to know her the more i liked your girl suzie and the more i liked her the more i told her i liked her and the more disgusted she became in me. but sometimes you realize that youre old and you dont care if the sunset is oblivious to you, you still wanna look at it, you still wanna warm yourself in it, you still wanna applaud it. youre still amazed by it.

last night karisa wanted to have sushi so me and suzie met karisa at this great place and we ate and drank and the girls got along really well. suzie said in her brutally honest way, “you know i was expecting a lot of really beautiful women here in LA, but i didnt see any until i saw you.” we all drank our saki and toasted and karisa blushed.

later we wanted to continue our buzz and the girls wanted to dance so we settled on manhattan beach where all the wrong people were in the totally wrong bar but we danced anyway. and drank. and no it didnt suck to have two super hot ladies to dance with.

coachella totally impressed our girl, santa barbara completely wowed her, and she said that even the randoms at venice beach treated her nicely, which means that probably the most annoying thing about her trip out here was me.

and i know that she is bringing her friends and family some little treats back home, but she gave me the best one this afternoon.

she sent me this text message: “Hey Tony, i forgot one of my belly rings on ur bed. Im so hungover. Thanx 4 everything. Bye :):)”

i couldnt miss her more.